“Beg, borrow, and steal, Ms. Delaney. I can assure you the last
thing you want is for me to run down to court and get an order to seize
your parents’ home and your paycheck.”
“What about the Education Commission? Did they contact you
about my complaint? Are the payments frozen yet?”
I hear a familiar rattle on Sergio’s end of the phone—like a hospi-
tal gurney. More rattles. It is a hospital gurney. Maybe he’s visiting a
friend. Do debt collectors have friends?
“They were very efficient with your file,” Sergio says. “Apparently,
after you accepted your new position, they reevaluated your file and
cancelled the deferment. They sent you a letter to that effect informing
you that your payment obligations had been reinstated.”
“I didn’t get it.”
“It seems from the file, they sent it to your previous address.”
“What?” My voice rises in pitch and I throw the covers off. “I told
them my new address when I moved.”
Someone coughs in the background on Sergio’s end and I can hear
the tinny sound of a PA. Definitely a hospital. Why would he call me
from a hospital? Is he that dedicated to his work?
Sergio sighs. “You have issues with them, you deal with them. All I
care about is the money you owe.”
“Please Sergio. Can I pay part of it? I’ve got extra work and I’ll be
able to pay the rest next week.”
“Unfortunately for you, I get a big fat bonus if you make all your
rehabilitation payments on time, and an even fatter bonus if I get all the
money at once, say from a foreclosure. And I need that bonus—” He
cuts himself off, choking on his words.
Seriously? He’s getting upset over the possibility he won’t get
his Porsche?
“Has the clock started ticking?” I scramble to find a way out.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Is your bonus calculated from the day I make the first payment or
the day you first called me?”
Sergio gives a thin laugh. “Clever. I’ll be honest with you. It’s cal-
culated from the day of your first payment.”
“What if I tell you a really good joke? Can I have an extra week?
It won’t affect your bottom line. I’ve never sworn at you or called you
names or hung up on you. It must be hard to have people be nasty all
day. But if you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you.”
Silence.
“Sergio?”
“I’m thinking. This is quite novel. I’m trying to decide if it would
affect my bonus.”
Jeez. This guy’s materialistic streak makes me ill. But I can do obse-
quious like the best of them. “I’ve seen the lineup for next year’s Porsche
collection. To be honest, you would be better to wait.”
“You know about cars?”
I fall back against the pillows. He hasn’t said no, which means he might
say yes. “My stepfather is into cars. I go with him to all the auto shows.”
“You continue to surprise and delight me Ms. Delaney. Tell me
your joke. If it makes me laugh, I’ll give you an extra week. It won’t
affect my bottom line, and I could use a joke right now.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and try to slow my racing heart. Although
our conversation has been cordial, I can’t ignore the underlying threat.
My brain blanks. This is all so new. So foreign.
And that reminds me of a joke.
“Three debt collectors are captured by cannibals…”
Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.
Amanda answers her phone on the fourth ring. “How was dinner?
Did you sleep with him?”
“No. I need—”
“You didn’t sleep with him?” Her voice rises with incredulity.
“No, but the debt collector called my house, and I need—”
“What happened?” she interjects, yet again. “It was the perfect set
up. Cozy dinner at his house. Talk about the relationship. Engage in hot
and heavy makeup sex.”
“Amanda. I have a problem.”
“You sure do, honey. If you haven’t been able to get Max into bed
by now, you need some special help.”
“He tied me naked to his motorcycle at Twin Peaks and walked
away, and I liked it,” I blurt out.
Silence.
“Amanda?”
“I just knew he was kinky…” she breathes, “…like Drake, who is,
by the way, in my kitchen getting a glass of water to rehydrate after our
night of festivities.”
“Doctor Drake is at your house?” My voice rises in pitch. “You
slept with Doctor Drake?”
“Jake is avoiding me,” she snaps. “It won’t do. And since we’re
broken up, Drake was more than happy to help a girl in need. He knows
the score.”
“He’s my boss!” I shriek. “You can’t sleep with my boss.”
“Ooops. Too late. The deed is already done. Multiple times.”
“Nooooo!” I am reminded of Edvard Munch’s painting, The
Scream. No doubt his muse was someone who discovered her best
friend was sleeping with her boss.
“He certainly has creative ideas about how to use a thermometer,”
she giggles. “And a stethoscope and—”
I hold the phone away from my ear. “Don’t tell me. Don’t tell me.”
“You should try it some time.” Her voice takes on a teasing lilt.
“You might like it.”
I wrap the sheet tight around my body as if she might suddenly
appear with the aforementioned medical instruments. “I won’t. I’m not
into kinky stuff.”
“How would you know? Yesterday was your first experience.
When you do finally get Max into bed, he’s going to think he’s the
luckiest man alive. You’re like a virgin minus the virginal bit. A blank
slate. He can mold you to fit his kinkiest desires, and you’ll think it
is normal.”
My body heats imagining Max’s kinkiest desires. Suddenly, the
sheet is too hot and I kick it off, letting the cool air soothe my burning
skin. “I’m not totally unaware of what goes on in the bedroom.”
“Trust me, you are.”
I suck in a breath. “Do you think Max is into…kinky stuff?”
“Did any of your other boyfriends strip off your clothes and tie you
to a motorcycle?”
“No.”
“Did he just happen to have some rope or other restraining
device handy?”
My stomach sinks. “Yes.”
“Then I diagnose a severe case of kinkiness, and you’re going in the
deep end.” She giggles and whispers something intelligible.
“Is Doctor Drake in the room? Are you letting him hear our con-
versation?” I bolt upright in the bed.
“He’s just gone out again to look through the pie cupboard where
I keep my sex toys. We didn’t spend much time in the bed—mostly in
the kitchen, on the couch, the dining table, the shower, and out on the
balcony. You missed out big time. He is kink on a stick. And with his
knowledge of female anatomy—”
“I don’t want to hear it. What about Jake? If he was pissed off with
your games before, I can’t imagine he would be happy to know you are
sexing it up with my BOSS
.”
Amanda snorts a laugh. “Since when did you become the expert
on men? I thought you just told me you didn’t even get Max into bed.
What happened?”
I twist the sheet in my hand. “I…It was so intense it scared me, and
I didn’t like that he made me like it. I tried to talk to him about it after-
ward, but I couldn’t explain myself and he didn’t seem to understand.
It kind of ruined the mood. Eventually we decided it would be best to
call it a night.”
“Poor Max,” Amanda chortles. “He must have had a hard night
after dropping you off.”
“Amanda!”
“Text him. Let him know you’re okay.”
“I’m not okay. I’m confused.”
“Tell him that, too. And for the record, he didn’t make you like it.
You like it or you don’t like it. It’s all up to you.”
I wriggle under the covers and pull them over my head. I am going
to hide here all day. No debt collectors. No kinky fighters. No friends
sleeping with my boss. “You aren’t making me feel any better, and he
wasn’t even the reason I called. I have another problem—”
Amanda’s voice drops to a low rasp. “He’s sucking my toes.”
“Euwww. TMI. And I’m sure he can hear you. Does he know
it’s me?”
“No,” she whispers. “And he can’t hear me. He’s under the covers.”
“Please. Take me away,” I whimper.
“You’re safe. He’s just slithered out of the bed and is racing toward
the kitchen. He’s so exciting. I never know what he’s going to do next.”
My stomach churns. “Don’t tell me anymore. Every time I look
at him at work I’m going to have inappropriate images in my head.
What if I blurt out something without thinking? What if we’re in a
meeting and someone says something about toes? I won’t be able to
control myself.”
“Oooooo. He’s been through my toy stash and now he wants to
play,” she murmurs. “He’s holding things up one by one to—Bad dog.
Get off the bed. Stop. Don’t bite the pillows. Oh, wait. Those aren’t
pillows.” She bursts into laughter. Well, at least one of us is having fun.
“I’m hanging up,” I say morosely.
“No wait. The debt collector.” She mumbles something and I hear
the unmistakable sound of a bed creaking. “You have to find a way to
shut him down.”
“But—” I have too many questions and I need her full attention.
“Do you have time to meet up for coffee?”
Amanda giggles. “I think I’ll be staying in bed today. Drake has
brought in a bowl of ice, a bag of clothespins, a packet of twist ties, a
cucumber, and a bottle of hot sauce. Ooooh. And a pair of handcuffs.
Where do you think he found those?”
I sigh. “I don’t think he would have had to look too hard.”
“Oh wait, someone’s at the door. Hold on. I’ll be able to give you
my full attention once I’m out of the bedroom.”
She breathes into the phone and I imagine her walking through her
country chic living room filled with pastel antiques and cozy chintz. A
lock clunks. A door creaks.
“Jake!” She gives a squeak of horror.
My pulse races. “Get him out of there,” I whisper. “Don’t let
him see—”
“Who’s that?” Jake’s shout is so loud I hold the phone away from
my ear. “Damn it Amanda, you didn’t waste any time did you?”
“You wouldn’t see me.” Her voice is thin, high and almost unrec-
ognizable. My eyes prickle with tears.
“So you jump into bed with the first guy who comes along?” he
shouts. “When the going gets tough, Amanda gets laid? Is that about it?
Is that how you handle a relationship? Is that all I meant to you?”
“Jake,” she whispers. Her voice is thick with horror and regret.
I slap my hand over my mouth. In all the years I’ve known her, I’ve
never heard her sound so desolate.
“If I never see you again, it will be too soon.” The door slams.
Amanda draws in a breath and a sob rips from her throat.
“I’m on my way, honey.” I end the call and jump out of bed.
No Max for me today. Tension eases from my shoulders. I have a
little breathing room.
.....
Hi Max
How is my girl today?
Ok
Just okay?
Just ok
Because of me?
U and other things
I’m coming over
U can’t. I’m going 2 c Amanda
We should talk
She needs me
I need you
She needs me more
**frowns** I want to see you
I’ll send you a picture
Now?
No. I’m not dressed
Waiting for picture
You want me to sext you?
Waiting for picture
I’m a sexting virgin
Waiting for picture
I might get hurt
How?
Your phone is so big **trembles**
True. Phones don’t get any bigger than mine
So modest
Waiting for picture
I’m not that kind of girl
What kind of girl are you?
Naked kind
Max likes naked kind
Confused kind
Max likes confused kind
Don’t be sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you
I was scared
I know, baby
But also **blushes**
Max likes **blushes**
I have 2 go or I’ll miss the bus
I’ll send Lewis to take you. He’ll wait until you want to go home
No need. Bus is fine
You take care of Amanda, baby. I’ll take care of you
.....
“Mac, I have a favor to ask.” Dr. Drake flips my desk sign to Closed and
rounds the partition to join Big Doris in my cubicle.
My stomach twists and I clasp my knees together and look down.
After the unwanted glimpse into his sexsational life, I’ve been trying to
keep my distance from him for the last two days. But fate has seen fit
to reward me with Big Doris and Kink on a Stick in my cubby at the
same time.
“Good morning, Doctor Drake.” Big Doris blushes and looks
down at the stack of green slips in her hand. “I was reprimanding Mac
yet again. She had two pens point up in her pen box. It violates our
health and safety protocols. We don’t want employees to accidentally
drop a hand on the pen box and get stabbed. She whips a green slip of
her pad and drops it on my desk.
Dr. Drake frowns and grabs the slip. “I hardly think that is conduct
worthy of a green slip.”
Big Doris’ nostrils flare but she recovers quickly. “Of course. What
was I thinking?” She gives me the sweet smile of a fox about to rip the
head off a chicken. I predict a hailstorm of green slips coming my way.
“Perhaps I could help you.” She lays her hand on Dr. Drake’s arm
and bats her tiny, pale eyelashes.
Ignoring the quivering Big Doris in front of him, Dr. Drake drops
a gold envelope on my desk. A meaty hand snatches it up. “What’s
this?” Charlie asks, coming up be
hind me.
Seriously? My cubicle is barely big enough for one, much less three.
I slide my chair to the corner and hold my knees to my chest.
Dr. Drake raises an eyebrow. “Mr. Brown, don’t you have work
to do?”
Charlie shakes his head. “No.”
“Are there not patients who require admitting?”
“Not by me.”
Dr. Drake sighs. “I suppose you could all help me out. The
hospital is having a black-tie charity fund-raiser at the Regency Center
on Thursday night. We need people to circulate and solicit donations.
We also need people to help with the heart auction.”
“Heart auction?” Charlie’s eyebrows fly up. “Someone’s donating
their heart?”
Dr. Drake rolls his eyes. “The hospital has solicited famous artists,
jewelers, and sculptors as well as patients and the public to create and
donate a heart in any material or on any medium to be auctioned for
the benefit of the hospital. It is most entertaining. No one knows the
provenance of the heart they have bid on until the end of the auction.”
“I heard last year someone bid one hundred thousand dollars for a
glass heart, thinking it was a Chihuly, only to discover it was bought at a
dime store and painted by one of our four-year-old patients,” Big Doris
titters. “Count me in.”
“Me too.” Charlie gives Big Doris a wink and she shudders.
“What about you, Mac?” Dr. Drake snatches the invitation from
Charlie’s hand and slides it across the desk to me. “We could use all the
help we can get.”
I want to help, but I’ve spent every evening this week consoling
Amanda. Max will not be pleased if I cancel our date so I can spend the
evening with Mr. Humping and Pumping.
“Um. I’m sorry. I’ve got other plans.”
Dr. Drake tilts his head to the side and studies me. “The money
will be used to buy badly needed equipment for the children’s ward.
The more people we have, the better chance we have of making the
fund-raiser a success. I could authorize overtime pay for all of you.
Triple time. It is a work function, after all.”
I make a quick calculation. Triple time plus two nights at the club
would more than cover the next payment to Sergio and then some. I
sigh a dejected sigh. “Count me in.”
Dr. Drake beams. “Done. I can give you a ride. I saw you a few
times at the bus stop after work. Charlie told me you sold your car.”