"She is not that cruel."
He caught her arm and drew her close, his eyes narrowed in anger.
Through clenched teeth he said, "It is not cruelty for Mary to protect
herself at all cost from those who would steal her very life. And no
one, not even you, my lady, will be permitted to leave this place, lest
you unwittingly reveal the queen's sanctuary."
Pulling away from him, Lindsey entered her sleeping chamber and slammed
the door, shutting out his words.
For long minutes after she left, Jamie stood staring at the closed
door. Then he turned and glanced at the rolling hills in the distance,
far across the loch.
The lass was right about one thing. Her father would suffer great
heartache from her unexplained absence.
His hand clenched at his side. Though it would involve much risk, he
would find a way to get word to Douglas Gordon.
Chapter Thirteen
Lindsey answered the knock on her door and found shy, sweet Sabina
standing there with an assortment of ladies' garments.
"My mother said I was to bring these to you straight away," the lass
said, timidly entering Lindsey's sleeping chamber.
"My lord Jamie MacDonald wanted to fetch you, but I was sent ahead to
see that you were properly gowned."
"Thank you, Sabina. I will be most grateful to be rid of what I am
wearing."
While the girl laid out the clothes on the big bed, Lindsey swallowed
her anger. Jamie would fetch her, indeed. She could see to her own
needs without his interference.
She removed her borrowed breeches and tunic and began to wash
herself.
In the looking glass she could see the girl watching her with interest.
Finally Sabina broke the silence.
"My mother said I inust not ask you about your strange clothing, my
lady." She ducked her head when Lindsey turned.
"But I have never seen a fine lady wearing such as--that." She pointed
to the pile of soiled clothing at Lindsey's feet.
"My father said 'twas because you are a Highlander, and they are a
rough, strange breed."
Lindsey swallowed a laugh.
"Aye, it is a strange costume is it not?" She smiled and beckoned the
girl to help her into the delicate chemise and petticoats.
As the lass tied the ribbons, Lindsey said, "Though I am indeed a
Highlander, this is not my usual garment. I wanted to appear to be a
lad, so that I could enter a tavern unmolested."
"A tavern, my lady?" The girl's hands stilled as she stared at Lindsey
with a look of surprise.
"Aye. I wanted the freedom accorded a man. And so I dressed like
one."
"Oh, my lady." The girl's voice lowered to a whisper.
"What was it like?"
Lindsey thought of the way her heart had pounded, and the anger when
she had seen Jamie leave with a beautiful woman, and the fear when she
realized she was lost in a strange city.
"It was a passionate feeling, and a sense of freedom like no other,
Sabina. And though it turned out all wrong, I would do it again."
Lindsey realized she was telling more than she ought.
"But I must not tarry. Can you help me with my gown?"
The servant lifted the gown over Lindsey's head, then smoothed down the
skirt. While she buttoned it, Lindsey studied her reflection in the
looking glass.
The gown was midnight blue velvet, with a low, softly rounded neckline
and narrow waist. The sleeves were full at the shoulder, then narrow
from elbow to wrist and tied with lighter blue ribbons. The voluminous
skirt was gathered here and there with the same pale blue ribbons,
revealing an underskirt of matching midnight blue.
"Sit, my lady," Sabina said, "and I will dress your hair."
Lindsey sat in front of the looking glass and Sabina began to brush the
tangles from her hair. When it was brushed smooth, the servant caught
the sides with jeweled combs, allowing the rest of Lindsey' shair to
stream down her back in a cascade of silken waves.
"Oh, my lady," Sabina breathed.
"Without a single adornment of jewels, you look lovelier than any of
the titled ladies who have been guests here at Lochleven."
"Thank you, Sabina." Lindsey stood and walked to the door.
"Despite your tender age, you are a fine ladies' maid."
She pulled open the door, missing the smile of pleasure that touched
the girl's lips.
Below stairs Fergus greeted Lindsey warmly.
"Ah, my lady. How splendid you look."
She gave him a bright smile.
"Thank you, Fergus. Your wife has promised a fine meal."
lord MacDonald, Lord Darnley and the queen await you in the library."
"The queen? I thought she was too weary to eat."
"Aye, my lady. We thought so, too. But she and her husband descended
the stairs just minutes ago."
He led her along the hall past several darkened rooms. At the door to
the library, he paused, allowing her to enter first.
Bowing to the queen, Fergus said, "I will announce when all is in
readiness, Majesty."
"Thank you, Fergus."
With a lap robe tucked around her, the queen resided on a chaise
positioned near the fireplace. Her husband, Lord Darnley, stood beside
a table upon which rested a silver tray with a decanter and goblets.
Jamie stood to one side of the fireplace. His eyes narrowed as he
studied Lindsey.
For a moment she felt shy and awkward. Always before, she had had her
father and brothers around her to act as buffers. Now she was alone
with the queen and her dour husband, and with this stem man who always
seemed to cause her pulse to race.
"So," the queen said as Lindsey crossed the room, "this is our young
stable lad. You look much more fetching in a gown than you did in
those shabby breeches and tunic."
Seeing the flush upon her cheeks, Jamie took pity on her and poured her
a cup of tea. As he crossed the room to hand it to her, Lord Darnley
said loudly, "I thought the lady filled those breeches admirably."
At his coarse comment Lindsey's cheeks flamed. Al though it was early
morning, it was obvious that the queen's husband had already had much
to drink.
An awkward silence fell Over them. As Lindsey accepted the cup from
Jamie's hands, she glanced at the queen, who pretended to have heard
nothing. A quick glance at Jamie's face revealed a tiny muscle working
in his jaw as he turned toward Lord Darnley and watched him fill his
tankard again.
Eager to break the uncomfortable silence, Lindsey said softly, "I am
grateful that Mistress Macnab managed to find some clothes that fit
me."
"As she did for all of us," the queen remarked, glancing down at the
demure ivory gown and shawl that covered her swollen figure.
"I am pleased Your Majesty saw fit to join us to break our fast."
"I could not sleep. There was so much whirling around inside my head,
I could scarcely close my eyes." The queen fixed Lindsey with an
intense look.
"How did you come by the garb of a stable lad?"
"I paid for them."
Jamie and Darnley listened with interest.
"How much did you pay the lad for his clothes?"
"A gold sovereign." Lindsey lifted the cup to her lips and tasted.
"And did you simply approach him and ask him to're move his clothes?"
Across the room, Jamie chuckled.
At the queen's bold question, Lindsey nearly choked on the tea.
Swallowing, she lifted her head to glare at Jamie, then turned a more
composed face to the queen.
"His sister was a maidservant at the inn where we were spending the
night. I asked her to help me with a disguise, and she was happy to
oblige."
"You swore her to secrecy, I suppose."
"Of course, Majesty."
The queen became more animated.
"And all because you wanted to taste the freedom enjoyed by a man, you
said?"
Lindsey nodded.
"I followed Jamie MacDonald to a tavern." "Tell me, Lady Lindsey. Did
you enjoy yourself in the tavern Lindsey's eyes grew dreamy for a
moment.
"Except for my fear of being discovered, it was not altogether
unpleasant. A wench brought me a tankard of ale, and I sat in a corner
and watched the others." Lindsey thought about the man and woman who
had paraded their lust in front of the entire assembly before going off
to a room at the tavern There were some things, she realized, that she
could not mention.
"Alas, I could not join in the conversations or the laughter, or my
masquerade would have been uncovered."
Caught up in the tale Mary touched a hand to her heart.
"How exciting. Had I been in your place, I would have feared
detection."
"Nay. " It was not so frightening as it sounds. And if I had had the
good sense to return to the inn when my charade was over, no one would
have been the wiser. " She lowered her head, aware that Jamie was
watching her closely.
enjoy a tankard or two with the sailors and tradesmen again?"
Despite herself, Lindsey broke into a grin.
"Perhaps. But if truth be told, I now see no reason to envy men their
freedom to go to such places. The tavern was filled with smoke. And
the smell of ale was quite dreadful."
"Ah, my dear Lady Lindsey, I am so envious."
"Envious? How could you possibly envy others, Majesty
"It is laughable, is it not? But I have always been envious of the
freedom others take for granted." The queen gave a deep sigh.
"I
suppose it is true of all people. We want what we cannot have. We
despise that which we are forced to endure. And ofttimes, when we are
given choices, we choose that which we formerly rejected. "
She cast a meaningful glance at her husband, who drained his tankard
and pointedly ignored her.
They looked up when Fergus announced that their meal was ready in the
refectory.
The queen led the way, with her hand on her husband's sleeve. Lindsey
and Jamie followed.
The refectory was a bright, cheery room. Sunlight poured through the
windows, making patterns on the stone floor. The fragrance of freshly
baked bread mingled with the scent of spring flowers blooming in a
garden just beyond the doors.
The queen's mood seemed to lighten.
"Tell me," she said, accepting a seat at the head of the table and
glancing toward Lindsey, who sat beside Jamie "How did you happen to be
in the drawing room of Ho- lyroodhouse last night?"
Lindsey felt as trapped as she had last night, when her charade had
been uncovered.
"I---did not know my way back to the inn. When I saw my lord MacDonald
leave, I thought to follow him."
Jamie turned and fixed Lindsey with a strange, compel ling look that
made her throat go dry.
Their conversation was interrupted when Fergus Macnab carried in a
covered silver tray and knelt before the queen. Mistress Macnab
removed the domed cover, revealing a tiny plump pig roasted to
perfection and surrounded by glazed fruit.
When the queen had uttered the appropriate comments of praise, the tray
was carried to a nearby side board where the roast was carved and
prepared for serving. While Fergus held the tray, his wife served
their plates at the table Sabina entered with a basket of freshly baked
breads and a pitcher of cold water.
when their guests' plates were heaped, the women're tired to the
scullery while Fergus remained standing behind the queen to see to her
every need.
The queen tasted her food and gave a smile of pleasure.
"Mayhap I will not miss Holyroodhouse as much as I had feared. Mistress
Macnab is as good as she promised."
Behind her Fergus stared straight ahead. But the comment had not been
lost on him. His eyes were alight with pleasure.
Lindsey savored the meal as much for the excellence of the food as for
the fact that the queen had not addressed her since the meal began.
Suddenly, however, the food turned to ashes in her mouth when the queen
fixed her with a haughty look.
"You say you followed Jamie to Holyroodhouse?" Lindsey swallowed.
"Aye, Majesty."
"Was he not accompanied by Mary Livingston, one of my ladies?" the
queen asked, studyhg her pointedly.
"I---did not know the lady's identity."
"Ah." The queen's lips curved slightly.
"Did it not occur to you that Jamie and the woman might not be
returning to the inn?"
Lindsey felt Jamie's aze on her and took a sip of water.
"I may have entertained such a thought, Majesty. But by then, it was
too late. I had no choice but to follow him, since I was thoroughly
lost in the city."
"You did not know you were at Holyroodhouse?"
"Nay, Majesty. I knew only that Jamie and the lady had entered, and so
I followed."
The queen arched a brow and shot a glance at Jamie.
"So, if my lord MacDonald had been entering into a--tryst with the
mysterious lady, perhaps in her own home or the home of a trusted
friend, you would have been a witness to it?"
Lindsey's cheeks flamed. There was no escaping the queen's razor wit
and sharp tongue.
"I ... have never before done such a thing, Majesty."
The queen's voice was warm with laughter.
"You are indeed a bold woman, Lindsey Gordon."
Lindsey could feel Jamie's gaze boring into her, but she avoided
meeting his look.
Abruptly the queen changed topics.
"How many brothers do you have?"
"Four, Majesty."
"Four brothers. Should that not give you an advantage over most other
women?"
"I do not understand."
"One would think that you, surrounded by so many men, would understand
the way a man's mind works."
Lindsey couldn't hide her wry smile.
"I regret, Majesty, that despite having a father and four brothers, I
have never understood the working of a man's mind. It is still a
pu
zzle to me."
"As it is to me," the queen said thoughtfully, glancing at the man who
sat at the other end of the table Though Darnley shared their meal, he
seemed to take little interest in their conversation.
"Perhaps, Jamie," the queen said with a laugh, "you will one day help
us with our dilemma."
"I am more than happy to accept your offer, providing Your Majesty will
teach me the way a woman's mind works in return."
"It does not work," came Darnley's voice from his place at the table
"A woman simply makes a judgment, and all the powers of persuasion in
the world will not change her mind."
Mary studied her husband's frowning face for a moment, then turned to
Fergus.
"We would take our sweets now."
"Aye, Majesty."
The old man hurried away and returned within minutes, followed by his
wife and daughter, who carried trays of puddings and tarts.
As the queen accepted a heaping portion she remarked, "The child I
carry will be very sweet indeed. For I have never craved sweets as
much as I have in these past months."
"My son," Darnley said with a sneer, "will not be sweet. He will be
strong. Strong enough to control the women he beds."
"You mean woman," Mary emphasized.
"I mean women." Lifting his goblet in the direction of the housekeeper
he snarled, "Fill this, wench. And be quick about it."
Mistress Macnab lifted a decanter and filled his goblet, then started
to walk away. He caught her by the wrist, pulling her back with a
vicious tug. His display of temper was distressing for all to
witness,
Jamie started to rise, but the queen laid her hand upon his sleeve to
stay his movements.
As the "three watched, Darnley snatched the decanter from the
housekeeper's hands and set it down with a clatter beside his plate.
"I need to fortify myself," he muttered to no one in particular, "lest
this meal should go on forever."
"You need not stay," the queen said with icy calm.
"You would suggest that I break with protocol, ma dame? Who would dare
to leave the room before the queen? Surely not her husband and loyal
servant," "You are neither."
His head came up sharply, and he got to his feet so quickly his chair
tumbled backward, making a terrible noise.
Mistress Macnab and her daughter came running from the scullery, then
stopped in their tracks.
"Are you suggesting that I am no longer your husband, madame?"
The queen said nothing as he weaved unsteadily.
"And as for loyal servant... There has never been a more loyal servant
than I," he shouted.
"I have given you what your first husband, your beloved Francis, could
not give you. A child, madame. A royal child, an heir to the throne."
His voice wavered.
"There is no more devoted servant in all of Scotland than I. And you
would be wise to remember that."
In the silence that followed the queen shocked the on lookers by
getting to her feet. In her most haughty tones she said, "I would take
your arm now, Damley, so that I might retire."
He blinked, then stood straighter as he came around the table and
offered her his arm. Placing her hand upon his sleeve she turned to
the bewildered housekeeper.
"My compliments, Mistress Macnab. The meal was every bit as fine as
any I have ever been served."
Mistress Macnab curtsied.
"Thank you, Majesty."
"Good day, Jamie.
The two stood and bowed until the queen and her husband exited the