To Joslyn & Marlene & Kevin & Matthew & Ampi & Meela & Will for lasting love and friendship that taught me the magic of platonic intimacy. The Alston, Rivas & Martinez families, y’all have been here from the beginning and you’re still here.
Eddie, my first boyfriend, you are now, and forever will be, a true love of my life.
Melody, we started out as close friends and are now family forever. #FreeNene ’til we say it backward!
To Isabel & the Rodriguez family, for your constant love and support. Thank you for LJ, he’s the purest and warmest love.
Noel, my brother and business partner, we’re basically married.
Saquayah, I’ve never felt more supported than when I’m on your couch with a warm meal and some iced TP.
Tay, you are always ready to love and super eager to learn. Thank you for showing up.
Charlie Poems! You’ve been a rock even when you weren’t sturdy.
Mel, in the last moments of this, you swooped in and gave the most necessary push. Shout out to G*D for the kind of love few think is possible.
My endless love to the legendary artists and activists of Urban Word NYC. Sofia, Adam, Shanelle, Marissa, Sergio, Jose, MJ, Michael & ALL MY CHILDREN (Slam Dad loves you). Y’all have supported me and contributed to my growth as an artist and human in immeasurable ways.
To the poets and writers who have pushed my pen: Amyra Leon, Katherine George, Steven Willis, Crystal Valentine, Christopher Shawn, Michael Lilley, Anthony McPherson, Paul Tran, Eboni Hogan, Imani Davis, Chelsea Alison, Zubaida Bello, Aaliyah Daniels, Nathaniel Swanson, Demetria Mack, Camryn Bruno, William Lohier, Danez Smith, sam sax, Paragraph, Jamie Lewis, Ebony Stewart (Dear Heart), Jon Sands, Amir Safi, Saraciea Fennell (you trusted my mouth and my heart), Venessa Marco, Edwin Bodney (& Myko), Tre G., Shihan Van Clief, Barbara Fant, Team Feels (Tariq Luthun, Jose Soto, RJ Walker), J.David Ockunzzi (you have the purest heart), Rebecca Gonzales (trampoline), Tongo Eisen-Martin, Joseph Sun Hernandez, Charlie Poems, Danny Matos, Thomas Fucaloro, Rob V., Chulisi, AR Garcia, Angy Abreu, Deria Matthews, Aarushi Agni, Caelan Nardone, Sharifa Rhodes-Pitts, and the countless others who have lifted, soothed, and endured me as I am, through morality and flaws.
Dear reader: I am grateful for you & your attention. Because of you this book lives another day.
A Note About the Author
Roya Marsh, Roya Marsh, a Bronx, New York, native, is a nationally recognized poet, performer, educator, and activist. She is the Poet in Residence at Urban Word NYC, and she works feverishly toward LGBTQIA justice and dismantling white supremacy. Marsh’s work has been featured on NBC, BET, Button Poetry, Write About Now Poetry, Def Jam’s All Def Digital, and Lexus Verses and Flow, and in Poetry magazine, Flypaper Magazine, Frontier Poetry, The Village Voice, Nylon, HuffPost, and The BreakBeat Poets Volume 2: Black Girl Magic (2018). You can sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
DEDICATION
A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: ON BLACK BUTCH REPRESENTATION IN DAYLIGHT
in broad dayliGht black girls look ghost
in broad dayliGht black descendants look gall
in broad dayliGht bruised black girls look goals
in broad dayliGht black girls look gat
in broad dayliGht black activists look gunshot
in broad dayliGht black girls look gat II
in broad dayliGht black moms look grieving
in broad dayliGht black aunties with no man look damn good
in broad dayliGht black saviors look grandma
in broad dayliGht black daughters look gossip
in broad dayliGht suicidal black girls look guilty
in broad dayliGht black girls look grave
in broad dayliGht battered black women look grazed
in broad dayliGht black girls look grim
in broad dayliGht kinky black girls look g-spot
in broad dayliGht black daughters look greedy
in broad dayliGht black girls look gleeful
in broad dayliGht black dykes look good enough to fuck
in broad dayliGht black dykes look glow
in broad dayliGht black catcalled dykes look grumpy
in broad dayliGht black women look grouchy
in broad dayliGht black bipolar girls look grimy
in broad dayliGht black victims looked gagged
homage to dyke girls with gap-tooth smiles
in broad dayliGht black mfa candidates look glamorous
in broad dayliGht black dykes look go
in broad dayliGht black sisters look glass
in broad dayliGht black dykes look gomorrah
in broad dayliGht black queer femmes look gala
in broad dayliGht black stars look like gyrochronology
in broad dayliGht black dykes look grilled
in broad dayliGht black abuse victims look gone
in broad dayliGht black thrivers look growth
in broad dayliGht black moms look swollen gland
in broad dayliGht black lovers look guest
what are the conditions of your freedom?
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
A NOTE ABOUT THE AUTHOR
COPYRIGHT
MCD × FSG Originals
Farrar, Straus and Giroux
120 Broadway, New York 10271
Copyright © 2020 by Roya Marsh
All rights reserved
First edition, 2020
E-book ISBN: 978-0-374-72211-1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
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