“Heyguys,don’tmindme.Keep
doingwhatyou’redoing.”
Isitdownonthecouchandlistentothem playandcreate.
Ilefttheroomaboutanhourago whenIgothungry.Knowingthattheyhave beenatitforawhileandprobablyare hungrytoo,Ihadpizzadelivered,andI’m makingplatesforeveryonewhenthey suddenlyappearinthekitchen.
“CanIhelp?”Kel anasks.
“No,Igotit.Thanksthough.”
Ihandeachoneaplate.BeforeKellantakes his,hepullsmeintohimandkissesme.
“Whatwasthatfor?”Iask.
“That’saproperhel o.”
“Um….ok.”
WhenIturnaround,therestoftheguysare staringatus,mouthsagape.Everyone exceptMaddoxwhoasasmirkonhisface.
“What?”
“Menext.”Kanesays.
Icanfeelmyfaceturningred.
“Yeah.So,sincewhendoyouallow ustokissyoulikethat?”Jaspersays.
“Sincenever!”Kel ansays.‘We”and hepointstomeandhim,“havedecidedto givearelationshipatry.”
“Aboutdamntime!”Maddoxsays.
Ijuststareatthem.
“Congratsguys.”Kanesays.
Ilookaround,takinginalloftheguysfaces.
Kanewinksatme,Maddoxhasadumb-ass smileonhisface.Danegivesmeanodand Jasper,wellJasperlooksthesameas always.
Istillcan’tsayanything.Howlonghavethey wantedmeandKel antogettogether?AmI thattransparent?Hell,IthoughtIkeptit hiddenwel .Apparentlynot!
Chapter13
Kellan
IwatchKatyasalltheguys
congratulateusonournewrelationship.
I’mnotsureofallthethoughtsrunning throughherhead,butfromthelookonher face,shockisdefinitelyone.Iplaceakisson thesideofherneck,beforegrabbingmy plateandfollowingtheguysintothedining room.
Oncetheguysfinishtheirpizza,theysay theirgoodbyesandheadout.Iturnandfind Katysittingonthecouch,onherphone.
“Hey,youok?”
“Yeah,why?”
“Imeantwiththeguysknowing
aboutus?”
Iwatchasshegetsupandwalkstoward me.Leaninguponhertoes,shewrapsher
armsaroundmyneck,andsays,“Yeah.I’m gladtheyknow.”
“Good,becausehidingour
relationshipwouldhavesucked.”
“Idon’twanttohideanything.”
Ipullbackandlookdownather.“Goget readyforbed.IwanttotalktoyouandI wantyoucomfortablewhenIdo.”
Iswatherontheassanddirecthertoward thebedroom.OnceIheartheshower,I quicklycleanupthepizzamess,before headingtothebedroom.Ineedtotel her aboutthelastthreemonths.Ialsoneedto letherknow,Iwenttodayandgottested.
Eventhough,Iusedprotectionwithevery girlIwaswith,Istil wantedtomakesureI wascleanbeforewehavesex.
Onceinsidethebedroom,Istandin thedoorwayforaminute,justtotakeher in.Sheissitting,legscrossedinthemiddle ofthebed,brushingoutherhair.Whenshe seesme,shegivesmeasmileandpatsthe
bed.Ismileback,beforewalkingoverand sittingdownbesideher.
“Katy,Ineedtotel yousomething.”
Shesetsherbrushdownandturnssowe arefacetoface.“Ok,tellme.”
Decidingtostartatthebeginning,Itel her,
“youknowwhenyoutoldmeaboutyou andColtgettingengaged,Ididn’texactly takeitwell.”
“Yeah,so…”
Icutheroffbeforeshecanfinish,“Well, there’snoeasywaytosaythisbutIkindof wentcrazy.Istarteddrinkingalotand startedhavingsexwithanygirlthatwanted to.”
“Didn’tyoudoanywil inggirl
before?”shesayslaughing.
“See,Ididn’treallyhook-upwiththe groupiesalot.I’mnotsayingIneverdid, justnotalot.It’shardtohookupwith
randomgirls,whennoneofthemarethe oneyouwant.”
“Ok,soyoudidmoreofthem,then younormallywould.”
“Wel ….itwasmorelike,twoorthree anight.”
“Atthesametime?”sheaskswith hermouthgapedopen.
Irunmyhandthroughmyhair,
“sometimes.”
“Wel shit!”
“Yeah,andifIdidn’thaveagirlIwas drinkingmyselfintooblivion.Theother nightwhenyoushoweduphere,wel that wasthefirstnightIhavebeensoberin threemonths.”
Katydoesn’tsayanything,juststaresatme.
“Iwantedtotel youandletyou know,Iwanttostartourrelationshipwitha cleanslate.Iwentandwastestedtoday.I alwaysusedprotectionbutbeforeour
relationshipgoesthatfar,Iwantedtomake sureIwasclean.”
“Ok,whileI’mgladyoudidthat,I’m stil stuckonthemorethanonegirlata time.Youdorealizethatthatwillnever happenwithme.Idon’tshare,notwith anothergirloranotherman.So,ifthat’s somethingyouwant,thenI’mnottheright girlforyou.”
Placingmythumbunderherchin,Ilifther headsooureyesmeet.“It’snot,youral I want.Iwasdoingthosegirls,totryandget thethoughtofyouandColtoutofmyhead.
Itdidn’twork.ThemoreIgotintomyhead themoreIfeltlikeIhadalreadylostmy bestfriend.”
“Ok,I’mkindofupsetthatyouwere drinkinginsteadoftalkingtomeabouthow youfelt.First,youneedtoknowthatno matterwhoIamwith,youwil neverlose measyourbestfriend.Noguywil ever makemechoosebecauseitwil alwaysbe you,nomatterwhat.Second,ifweare
goingtobeinarelationship,thenwehave totalktoeachother,andbehonest.”
“Ipromise.Iwil alwaysbehonest withyou.”
“Good,nowisthatallyouneededto tellme?”
“Yes,that’sall.”
“Ok,myturn.”
Damn,Idon’twanttoknowaboutwhoshe hasfucked.
“Coltcameintotheshoptoday.”
What?That’snotwhatIexpectedherto say.
“Whatdidhewant?”
“Hetriedtoexplainandliehisway outofthemess.Ididn’tfal foritandkicked himout.”
“Good.”
“Yeah,butIdon’tthinkhewil give upthateasily.”
“We’l handleit,ifhedecidesto comeback.”
“Wewil ?”
“Yes, we.Weareinthistogether.”
Shethrowsherarmsaroundmyneck.
“Thankyou.”
“Youneverhavetoask.YouknowI haveyourback.”Iplaceakissonherneck, beforepullingback.
“Iguesswebettergetreadyforbed.”
Chapter14
Kellan
IwakewithKatyinmyarms.Ithas beenthatwayforthemonthIhavebeen homeandnothinghaseverfeltsogood.I hatethethoughtthatintwodays,Iwil be backontourandshewil behere.Iknow withhershop,shecan’tjustupandleaveit foralongperiodoftimebutthatdoesn’t meanIdon’twanthertodoitandbewith me.Iwil justhavetotalktoheraboutit andmaybewecanfindawayforhertojoin mesome.
Idon’twanttothinkaboutusbeing apartrightnow,soIshakethosethoughts away,andpullhercloser,kissingthetopof herhead.Whenshestartstostir,Ismile.
Beforewhenshesleptover,wewerenever inthesamebed.So,wakingtoher,thislast monthhasbeenawesome.Iknowsheisa
lightsleeperandtheslightestmovementor noisewil wakeher,soI’mnotreal ysorryI wokeher,Ikissherheadagain.
“Morningbabe.”
“MorningKel.”
“Whattimedoyouhavetoopenthe shoptoday?”
“Idon’t.I’mclosedtoday.
”Shesays asshesnugglesdeeperintome.
“Whatdoyouwanttodotoday
then?”
“Idon’tknow.Stayrighthereinbed.”
Ilaugh,“thatsoundsnice,butIthinkwewill needtomoveeventual y.”
“Maybe.Idon’tusual ydoanything, justchillathome.”
Iprettysurethefairisthisweek.IthinkI mightjusttakeherthere.Ithinkweboth coulduseabitoffun.
“Whatkindofclothesdidyoubring?”
“Whatkindofquestionisthat?”
“Ihaveanidea,sogetupandputon comfyclothes.We’releavinginthirty minutes.”
Iplaceanotherkissonherheadbefore leavingthebed.
Sheletsoutalittlehuff,butshe’sreadyin twentyminutes.Shelooksfuckingstunning.
Shehasonawhitelacetank,lightwash denimshorts,silversandals,thatlaceup heranklesandherhairisupinamessybun.
Iwanttotakeherbackintotheroomand forgetaboutmyplansfortheday.Instead,I holdoutmyhand.
“Ready?”
“Yeap.Wanttotel mewhereweare going?”shesaysasshetakesmyhand.
“Nope.It’sasurprise.”
Ilaughasshepouts.Shehasneverliked surprises.That’swhythisissomuchfun.
Whenwepul intotheparkinglot, hereyesgohuge.“Youbroughtmetoa carnival?”
“Yeah,youreadytohavesomefun?”
Sheisbouncingaroundinherseat.Ican’t helpit,Ilaugh.
Shegrabsmyhandandstartstopullme.
“Comeon,let’sgo.Ihaven’tbeento oneoftheseinyears.”
Ihavebeengoneamonthnow.
Nothingreallyhaschangedbetweenus.We stil talkeverydayandtext.Sheisbusywith hershopandI’mbusywiththeband,but nomatterhowbusyIam,Istil wanther herewithme.
Weareinthedressingroom,
finishingupwithourmakeupandhair, whenwehearthelastbandexit.Standing, weal headtowardthestage.Theother groupsroadiesandstagecrewareworking toremovetheirstuff,whileourcrewis tryingtogetoursonstage.
Weareplayingtoasold-outstadium, whichisawesome.Maddoxsauntersover towardme.Icantellbeforeheeveropens hismouth,heishighonsomething.
“Howareyoudoingman?”
“I’mgood.WhataboutyouMad?”
“Fuckinggreat!Youready?”
“Yeahman.Let’sdothis.”
GrabbingmyguitarfromFrank,oneofour stagehands,Itakemyplace.Itakeadeep breathandcentermyselfandwaitforthe beat.Assoonasitstarts,I’mlosttothe music.
Chapter15
Katy
MeandKel anhavebeenacouplefor alittleoveramonthandwereallyhave onlyseeneachotherthemonthhewasnot ontour.Notmuchhaschangedintheway ofourrelationship,whichkindofsucks.
Iamfinishinguponadressthatmy clientiscomingtogettomorrow,whenmy phonegoesoff.Grabbingit,Iseeit’sa messagefromMaddox.
Mad:ifyoucanmakeit,Iwillhavea carreadyateighttopickyouup.
Me:I’llbeready.Iseverythingok?
Mad:EverythingisfineKaty-Kat, exceptKellanismopinglikealostpuppy.
Icrackupatthelasttext.Ijustcan’tsee Kellanmoping.
Racinghome,Ilookthroughmy
clothesandseewhatIhaveIcanwear.I grabmyblueskinnyjeansthatfitme perfectly,arippedwhiteteeandahotpink bratowearundertherippedtee.Then,I grabmyknee-highboots.Icurlmyhair,so itlaysinspiralcurlsdownmyback,Iputa skul hairpininoneside,pul ingitback awayfrommyface.Igivemyselfasmoky eyeandapplycherryredlipstickandIam readytogo.
Whenthecargetshere,Igrabmy clutch,favoriteleatherjacketandoutthe doorIgo.WhenIaminthecar,Ishoot Maddoxatext.
Me:DoesheknowI’mcoming?
Mad:No,canyoustayuntil
Tuesday?
Me:Letmesee.I’llletyouknow onceIgetthere.
Mad:K
Iquickly,mental ygothroughmylistof thingsIneedtodo,thiscomingupweek.I haveeverythingalreadyreadyforpickup.
Monicacanhandletheshopside,so,I shouldbegoodtostay.Hel ,Iactual ycould staythewholeweek.That’sifKellanwants meto.
IcallMonicaandletherknow,Iwillbeout therestoftheweekbutthatIwillhavemy phone,ifsheneedsme.Then,ItextMadto lethimknowI’mgoodforthewholeweek.
Sittingbackintheseat,Ihopeeverything goesokwithoutme.Thisisthefirsttimein twoyearsI’vehadanytimeawayfrommy shopanditscaresme.
I’mnotsurewheretheguysare
playingtonight,soIjustsitbackandenjoy therideandtrytoclearmyheadof everything.
Aboutanhourlater,thecarstops andIamusheredintothebackofthe stadiumwheretheguysare.Makingmy waybackstageandtowardthedressing room,Ienjoyhearingthemusicplaying.I
knowtheguysareonstage.Decidingto staybackstageinsteadofgoingoutinfront, Icontinuetotryandfindtheirdressing room.OnceIfindtheroom,Iletmyselfin andplacemystuffwithKellan’s.Then,Igo backtowardthestage.IstopwhenIhear thesongtheyareplaying.Theyareplaying WithoutYou,whichisthesongtheywrote forRyker.I’minstantlythrownbackinto childhood.
Me,Kel anandRykeral runningaroundthe playground,thenusatteens.Gettinginto troubleandmelisteningtoRykerandKellan play.Then,tofindingoutoneofmybest friendswasdead.Thepaininsideme,the painthatisstillthere.Ireachupandwipea tearaway.IhatetocryandIdefinitely don’twanttheguystoseemecry.
I’mstandingthere,withmyhandsin mybackpocketswhentheyexitthestage.
KellanistalkingwithMaddoxanddoesn’t seemeatfirst.Then,Maddoxelbowshimin thesideandnodsinmydirection.Kellan followshisnodandwhenheseesme,his
eyesgohuge.Then,abigsmilespreads acrosshisface.
Hewalkstowardmeandoncehe
reachesme,hegrabsmearoundthewaist andliftsme.Iwrapmylegsaroundhiswaist andmyarmsaroundhisneck.
“HeyKel,missme?”
“Hel yeah,Imissedyou.”
Thenhislipsareonmine.He’sallsweaty butIdon’tcare.Ihavemissedhimtoo.I deepenthekiss,thenpullbackbeforeIcan getcarriedaway.
“Kel,wehaveanaudience.”
“Idon’tcare.”
“ButIdo.”Ismileathim.Unwrapmy legsandslidedown,untilmyfeethitthe floor.
“Let’sgetyoucleanedup.Then,we cantalk.”
“Fine”hesayswithapout.
Wewalktothedressingroom,handin hand.
WhenKel anisintheshower,
Maddoxcomesover.
“So,haveyoutoldhimyou’rehere fortheweek?”
“Notyet,butIwil .”
“What’swrong?”
“Nothing.Why?”
“ComeonKaty-Kat.Don’tlietome.I knowthatlookandthattone.”
Iswallow,“Whatifhedoesn’twantme here?”
“Girl,trustme,hehasbeennothing butmopeysinceweleft.Hewil wantyou here.”
BeforeIcanrespondKel ancomes saunteringovertous.Wrappinghisarm aroundmywaist,hesays,“ready?”
“Yeah.”
Iwrapmyarmaroundhiswaistandhe leadsmeout.Wewalkpastabunchof peopleandoncetheyspotKel an,theystart yellingathim.Helooksdownatme,“do youmind?”
“No,goahead.”
Wewalktowardthem,andIstepbackas KellandoeshisRockstarthing.
Onegirl,yel s“rememberme?”
Kellandoesn’tanswerher,butshe continues.“WeweretogetherinNewYork.
Wannagoforroundtwo?”
Kellanstil doesn’tanswerherquestion,and Ican�
��thelpbutfeeljealous.Hewrapsup andheadsbacktome.
“Um…youwanttoanswerthatgirl?”
“Nope.”
That’sallhesays,beforeleadingmeaway.
Weclimbontothebusandheleadsme towardtheback.Steppingintotheroom, heshutsthedoorbehindus.Iwalkoverand
sitontheedgeofthebed.Ireallyhopeit’s clean.
“Pleasetel methisbedisclean?”
“Yeah,it’sclean.Ihavebeensleeping inhere.”
“Oh.”
Iwatchashewalksovertothedresserand removedapieceofpaper.Turning,he handsittome.
“What’sthis?”
“Openit.”
Iopenandreadit.It’shistestresultsandhe isallclean.Isitthepaperdownandlookup athim.