Critical Failures IV

  Julian thought out loud. “The one you had here couldn’t have been one of the three in the wagon. That makes at least four Mordreds.”

  “How many dice are in the bag?” asked Tim.

  “Fuck you,” said Frank. “That’s how many.”

  “Then there are fuck you minus one Mordreds roaming around out there.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Tim laughed weakly. “That’s why his spirit split. When he fell out of the penthouse window, he threw all of his dice in desperation, hoping at least one of them would activate before he splattered all over the pavement.”

  Frank took the bag out from inside his vest, and dumped the dice onto the bar. “There are six dice. That makes five Mordreds left.”

  Tim grinned. “You’re welcome.”

  “You want some thanks?” said Frank. “I’ll give you some thanks. I’m going to let you walk out of this bar alive. But my gratitude ends there. I don’t want to see your stupid face or hear your whiny voice ever again. Are we clear?”

  “Come on, Tim,” said Katherine. “Let’s go.”

  A few people looked like they wanted to say “Goodbye”, or “Fuck you”, or something, as Katherine walked Tim out the front door of the Whore’s Head Inn, but no one actually said anything, except for the random black guy.

  “Katherine, wait. I’m coming with you.”

  “You don’t have to do that, Tanner,” said Katherine. “Stay if you want.”

  Tanner, the black half-elf, turned to look at the crowd, then back at Katherine. “I don’t actually know these people.”

  “Oh yeah. I guess that’s true. Come on then.”

  Tim wasn’t going to give the patrons of the Whore’s Head Inn the satisfaction of seeing him blubber like a little bitch, but he couldn’t hold out much more than a few yards after they were out the door. Tears and snot started to flow. “I fucked up, bigtime, didn’t I, Kat?”

  “Yeah you did, Tim.”

  Tim wiped his sleeve across his nose and sniffed. “I’m sorry, Kat.”

  “I know, Tim. You always are.”

  The End.

  Thank you for reading the fourth book in the Caverns and Creatures series. While you’re waiting for the fifth book, please take a look at these short stories. Tim, Julian, Dave, and Cooper’s continuing mini-adventures in the world of Caverns and Creatures.

  Cave of the Kobolds

  ZOMBIE ATTACK!!!

  Orcs, Bears, and Assholes

  Shipfaced

  Dungeon Crawl

  The Creep on the Borderlands

  Nymph-O-Maniacs

  Buzzkill

  Cooper’s Christmas Carol

  Sticky White Mess: A Love Story

  Clerical Error

  Cornholed

  House of Madness

  Naga Please

  Elf Inflicted

  The Land Before Tim

  A Fistful of Gold Pieces

  The Minotard

  Guts and Volts

  Djinngle Bells

  And one more short story, Cockfightin’, featuring Denise and Randy, is available in the anthology Fresh Cuts.

  For updates on what I’m currently working on, reviews, or just to come by and say hello, you can find me here on Facebook, and here at

  www.caverns-and-creatures.com.

  Thank you, Paul and Jeff Harper-Shirk, for your valuable advice.

  Thank you, No Hyun Jun, for your fantastic cover art.

  Thank you, Joan Reginaldo, for continuing to read through my dreadful first drafts.

  Thank you, No Young Sook, for your love and support.

  Thank you, fans and readers, for continuing to follow me on this journey.

  And finally, I’d like to send out one more thank you for DeadPixel Publications. Thank you for inviting me to be part of your group.

  If you enjoyed this story, please leave a review. It would mean so much to me.

  Thank you.

  You’ve been enjoying a DeadPixel Publications Book.

  DeadPixel Publications is a group of people with day jobs, writing for the pure love of the craft and hoping for a little success along the way. By joining forces we help promote each other and create a community of sharing and collaboration with one goal in mind: Helping the public find some kick ass books to read (if we do say so ourselves).

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