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    Runaway Dreams

    Page 6
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      that’s crustacean wisdom

      the mother of pearl shimmer of truth

      that lives on our shelves now

      alongside the rocks and wood and nets

      and floats and curios

      adrift to adorn our world

      I don’t know what it is about this place

      that makes such perfect sense

      only that geographies sometimes

      need our hearts to fill them

      as though this delicate joining of spirit to sky

      were the underpinning of everything

      you fit here

      you fill space

      as easily as this ragged seam

      of coastline fills the eye

      rendering distance and forgetting

      to timelessness as simple, as pure and perfect

      as the line a seagull makes

      sailing across the sky

      when I think of this continent’s edge now

      this surrendering to ocean

      I will think of myself as coastline

      eased, affirmed and recreated

      by virtue of you washing over me

      the surf of you

      filled with stories and bearing news

      of other worlds beyond my own

      adding to me

      this beach of my being

      you adorn with treasures

      Dreamwoman

      For the longest time I believed

      that Dreamwoman would be the one

      who cared that the starting infield

      for the 1965 Boston Red Sox

      was Thomas, Mantilla, Petrocelli and Malzone

      or that Bob Mosley was

      the bass player for Moby Grape

      or that the banjo harkened back

      to a gourd strung with strings

      from Africa’s Gambra River

      or that the word carousel comes

      from the French word carrousel

      meaning a playful tournament of knights

      or that the thirteen central poles

      on a tipi each stand for a specific principle

      to guide the lives of those who

      lived there

      I thought Dreamwoman

      would care deeply

      about all of that

      and take it as important

      but it turns out instead

      that she simply cares

      that I do

      Elder 2

      to the memory of Jack Kakakaway

      sometimes he’d just walk away

      from the car and head out

      across Kananaskis through the trees

      and up the slope of a mountain

      or along the ragged seam of a creek

      where whitefish finned in pools

      and the smell of cedar wafted

      over everything and I would

      follow waiting

      for the words to fall

      he’d stop now and then

      and just look at things

      or reach out a hand

      to touch moss or stone

      and nod and offer up

      a half smile or close

      his eyes and lift his face

      to the frail breeze

      and breathe

      he put his hand in a bear print once

      and knelt there praying

      silently

      and when he laid tobacco down

      beside a mountain spring

      I did it too

      wordlessly

      and he smiled

      and I remember how after

      one long afternoon of quiet

      rambling through the hills

      he stood beside the car

      and looked back across the land

      raised his hands and bowed

      his head then looked up

      square at me and asked

      “did you hear all that?”

      and the funny thing is

      I did

      Grandfather Talking 3 — On Time Passing

      Fifty years ago now there wasn’t nothing like this nowhere.

      Me I’m lying in a bed in a room in a brick building they call a

      retirement home but me I never had nothin’ to retire from.

      The bush an’ the river an’ the land don’t ask the Anishinabeg

      to punch no time card and there was never no boss man

      there when I done things to put no cash in my hand. So me

      I figger retirement means to be put away somewhere like

      they put me here on accounta my hands don’t work so good

      no more with the arthritis and me I know I couldn’t walk

      the bush now even if I wanted to — and I do, my boy. I do.

      But they bring me a beer every now and then I keep under

      my mattress so the nurse can’t see, drink it long and slow,

      hold it in my mouth and taste it good. Ever good them beer

      sometimes. Make me remember. Like that time me and old

      Stan Jack standin’ on the dock at the Gun Lake Lodge watchin’

      that sun go down, both of us noddin’ and not speakin’ on

      accounta us we see things like that us Ojibway and there’s no

      words big enough to say. We drunk beer slow there him and

      me. One each. Just happy watchin’ the land and feelin’ all

      easy with each other like you come to when you know a man

      long time. Him he’s gone now old Stan but us we used to

      walk together outta Whitedog into the bush an’ out onto the

      land to places where they never had no names for them on

      accounta us we never needed no names. You hold a place in

      your memory for what it gives to you. Call it somethin’ you

      change it and us we never wanted to change nothing out

      there. Us we knew our way around by feel like. Where the

      wind comes through a gap, how rapids sound, how the voice

      of them is diff’rent comin’ from the east than from the west,

      the cool you feel on your face steppin’ into the shadow a

      ridge throws all on you. Yes, that land it’s a feeling, my boy.

      Or least it was one time. But them they come and put in

      roads. Pretty soon there’s houses. Big cut lines through the

      trees. There’s diff’rent kind of memories for the people then.

      For me too. Gotta remember which road takes you to which

      lake ’steada followin’ the trees. Me I went from that dock in

      the sunset to the truck the old man got and drivin’ to Kenora

      that one time in ’59 and seein’ a girl looking for a ride to

      town an’ pullin’ over and her climbing up into the cab of that

      old truck and grinnin’ at me with a face like sunshine an’ us

      talkin’ like old friends and when we made the curve at Minaki

      how she touched my leg an’ we both smiled, me showin’

      more gum than Safeway. Stayed in town four days that time.

      First time I ever forgot the bush me. First time I ever knew I

      could. Funny huh, how fast something like a truck and a girl

      an’ town can change you? Change everything?

      For Generations Lost

      Against the sky the trees poke crooked fingers

      upwards in praise

      and even the rocks lie lodged like hymns

      on the breast of Earth

      way hi ya hey way hi

      I sing for you

      even though my language feels foreign on my tongue

      and the idea of myself

      scraped raw and aching from years of absence

      has only now begun to form itself into a shape I recognize

      I watch you wander across the skin of this planet

      bearing wounds that seep poison into your blood

      your faces drawn into masks like the spirit dancers wear

      to chase away the night

      way hi ya hey way hi


      when I returned to you I never thought of this

      a people like me who had to fight

      to reclaim themselves

      but I’ve come to like this even more

      love you for the pain you bear like saints

      the history of your displacement

      tattooed upon your faces

      in lines and wrinkles etched like songs

      in a lower register

      sung from the gut

      and yet you dance

      you walk the Red Road of the spirit

      and become more of who you were created to be

      despite the incursions and the invasions

      of your minds and bodies and souls

      it’s a struggle perhaps

      but I’ve watched you reclaim yourselves

      one ravaged piece at a time, mend and succeed

      despite all odds to remain warriors

      who dance the sun across the sky

      and sing the rain down upon the land

      way hi ya hey way hi

      there is so much strength in you

      and I want to tell you that if you break

      do it moving forward not away

      risk everything

      for the real victory is the journey itself

      and the only thing we take away or leave behind

      is the story of that trek

      to be told and retold forever

      on the tongues of those we love

      you taught me that

      in your lodges and your teachings you showed me

      that the world remains a wild place

      and our only choice is harmony

      way hi ya hey way hi

      I can’t replace the years they took away from you

      salve the bruises and the scars they left upon your skin

      heal the seeping wounds you carry after all these years

      or return the disappeared ones to your arms

      I can’t erase that past

      but I can learn to dance and I can learn to sing

      in the language that has always been my own

      I can celebrate in the ceremony and the ritual

      they could never take away

      become in my own way

      the expression of you

      before the darkness fell

      and after the light returned

      as it does now

      where warriors dance the sun across the sky

      and sing the rain down upon the land

      way hi ya hey way hi

      Ojibway Graveyard

      Beyond here is the residential school where

      hundreds of our kids were sent sprawling

      face first against the hard-packed ground

      of a religion and an ethic that said “surrender”

      and when they couldn’t or wouldn’t

      they wound up here just beyond the gaze

      of the building that condemned them to

      this untended stretch of earth

      everywhere

      the unmarked graves of a people

      whose very idea of god sprang from

      the ground in which they’re laid

      there is no fence here no hedgerow

      to proclaim this as a sanctuary or even

      as a resting place only bitter twirls

      of barbed wire canted wildly on posts

      rotted and broken and snapped by neglect

      unlike the marble and granite headstones

      that proclaim the resting places of nuns

      and priests devoted to the earthly toil

      of saving lost and ravaged souls

      for a god and a book that says

      to suffer the children to come

      unto the light that never really

      shone for them

      ever

      even the wind is lonely here

      clouds skim low and the chill

      becomes a living thing that invades

      the mind and there is nothing

      not even prayer in any human tongue

      that can lift the pall of dispiritedness

      created here for them to sleep in

      a brother’s grave somewhere in the rough

      and tangle of the grasses can’t be seen

      only felt like a cold spot between the ribs

      and a caught breath sharp with tears

      bitterness

      what they slipped onto the tongues

      of generations removed from us

      like a wafer

      soaked in vinegar

      they say we Indians never say goodbye

      but I doubt that’s true

      no people in their right minds or hearts

      would cling to these sad effigies

      the knowledge that someone once thought

      that they were less than human

      deserving nothing in the end

      but an unmarked plot of earth

      beneath a sullen sky the weeds and grasses

      stoked by wind to sing their only benediction

      we bid goodbye

      to nuns and priests

      and schools

      that only ever taught us pain

      keep your blessing for yourselves

      in the end you’re the ones

      who need them

      Ojibway Dream

      There’s nothing like a can of Spam mixed

      with eggs, canned potatoes and a mug of

      campfire coffee with the grounds still in

      cooked over an open flame

      and even if there was it wouldn’t measure

      up to the crucial test of how it tastes

      on bannock made on a stick

      that’s just the plain truth of things

      well, a pickerel packed in clay and tossed

      into the fire comes awful close

      as long as there’s greens and wild mushrooms

      tossed over flame and then blueberries

      all washed down with Ojibway tea

      then a smoke to share

      with the Spirits might

      just come close

      but then again a nice moose rubaboo

      properly done with flour, water and maple

      syrup with bannock for dipping is hard

      to resist at the best of times provided

      there’s a cob of corn roasted on the fire

      with the husk still on and water from

      the river cold and rich with the mineral taste

      that reminds you of rocks and lakes upstream

      and time and the fact that the way

      to an Ojibway man’s heart

      isn’t through his stomach

      but through his recollections

      while seated on a cheap red stool

      in a plastic diner looking out

      over a freeway choked with cars

      and people hungering

      for something better tasting

      than success

      Copper Thunderbird

      in memory of Norval Morrisseau

      Diogenes you said went walking

      with a lamp in the broadest daylight

      in a search for one good man

      as though that would explain how

      they came to find you lurking

      in the bushes beyond Hastings & Main drunk

      that early summer of ’87

      raving and talking in ebullient colours

      as though the air were a canvas

      and legends are born on the dire breath

      of rot-gut sherry and the twisting snake

      of dreams bred in the bruise of hangover mornings

      where Diogenes wakes to crawl

      on hands and knees into the light himself

      you chuckled then

      said they’d never get you

      and the truth is they never did

      in the belly of legends lives

      the truth of us

      where shape-shifters walk and flying skeletons

      cruise the long nights of our souls

      and the tricksters inhabit the dark


      where the light of the lamp

      you shone there bleeds fantastic colour

      into the crevices we’ve learned

      to be afraid to look into for fear

      we’d see ourselves peering outward

      and know we needed you or your like

      to paint us home

      you talked to me of birch bark scrolls

      and your grandfather’s cabin in the trees

      where the map of our being laid out in pictographs

      was translated in the talk you said

      was the original talk of our people

      that’s rarely spoken anymore

      then chuckled again and held me fast

      with obsidian eyes that gleamed

      with teachings and spoke softly of the stories

      that came to fill the canvas of you

      resplendent in the harmony and sheen

      of colours you said were meant to heal

      mystic tones and the hue of shaman songs

      the river of black becoming the contrast

      that teaches us everything about ourselves

      if we’re willing to bob in its current

      so you set them there in the weft and weave

      of canvases despite those Ojibway who claimed

      that you gave too much away

      even though they could only ever guess

      at what you meant to say

      because they’d closed their ears and hearts

      and minds to stories alive

      in the belly of legends

      you said to me then

      “they’ll never get me”

      and the truth is they never did

      all through that long day ensconced

      in the feigned rusticity of the Jasper Lodge

      you made me tea and told me

      the migration story of my people falling

      into the old talk every now and then

      but I never minded because it was authentic

      and the dip and roll of Ojibway became

      another way to enter it together

      keep it

      close to me like the migis shell

      you pressed into my palm

      when I made it to the ocean eventually

     


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