campaign is posted. It has a ticker which reads "USD EQUIVALENT GLOBAL DONATIONS: $0.00."
The total displayed on the ticker rapidly and continuously increases. When it reaches $17,487,527,643.23 we--
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL LIVING ROOM--NIGHT
This is a Caribbean five star luxury hotel, with an ocean-side themed and colored decor, a kitchen, a master suite, a kids' bedroom, a game room, and a living room with an entertainment center and large bay windows that overlook a shore. Vicki sits in a love seat in the living room, with a laptop PC, upon which she watches the donation ticker at the crowd-funding web site. She is mesmerized.
INT. HOTEL KIDS' BEDROOM--NIGHT
Heidi and Dominick are asleep in different beds. Jake kisses Dominick good-night on the cheek, then Heidi.
INT. HOTEL LIVING ROOM--NIGHT
Jake exits the kids' room to the living room, quietly closes the kids' door, and crosses and sits with Vicki in the love seat. She watches the crowd-funding web site ticker on a laptop PC. She is mesmerized. He examines the web site, shakes his head in disbelief, and laughs.
His cell phone rings. He stands up and gets it out of his pocket, looks at the caller ID, and goes bug-eyed. He answers.
JAKE
Mr. Thoreau, glad to hear from you again! What can I do for you?
Jake listens, his jaw drops, and he stammers, turns pale and weak, almost faints, and sits down in an armchair to recover.
Vicki leans forward and tries to listen to Mr. Thoreau.
JAKE
Well, I, I am as surprised as when you yourself showed such amazing charity...yes, only as amazing as--right, yes. I, uh, thank you! I, how do I thank them? What?...Oh, right, their email.
He laughs.
JAKE
Seriously, you think they'll be happy with just an email? Wouldn't it be more polite to--
He is cut off by Mr. Thoreau. He laughs.
JAKE
(to Vicki)
He says they don't care what I do, they'd be happy if I sent them a lump of coal. The ESA. They had a meeting and deliberated, and authorized a one-time thank-you donation to me of three percent of the gifts to date.
Vicki's eyes roll in her head, and she faints and collapses onto the couch.
He rushes to her, and checks her breath and pulse.
JAKE
Whoops! Funny thing, my wife just fainted. Her signs are fine, and I'm sure she will be...yes, thank you, I also think I'd better. Thank you so much. Okay. Bye-bye.
He hangs up, fills a glass of water from the kitchen tap, and splashes it in her face. She wakes with a start.
VICKI
I had an, I, where am I? Oh! I had a, was that a--
JAKE
They gave me three percent of everything.
He points to the laptop PC.
JAKE
VICKI
Oh my--
JAKE
Not again--
EXT. BEACH--DAY
A tidal wave crashes ashore. Dominick and Heidi, in swimwear, chase its wake as it recedes down the shore. They stand and wait as another wave approaches. It nears, and they run up the shore from it. It crashes ashore, the wake lunges them forward, and they laugh and run up-shore in the shallow wake.
Jake and Vicki sit on a beach towel further up shore, both in modest swimwear, and watch their kids.
JAKE
Keep looking at the waves crashing on the shore right in front of us--
VICKI
Oh no. Somoene's following us.
JAKE
Correct. Look ahead like that, and don't look anywhere else. They are not paying the man enough who is following us.
He glances down at his cell phone, which rests conspicuously face-up on the towel, in front of him.
JAKE
Okay, they just texted me the signal that he's out of the way.
VICKI
Huh? Who texted you?
JAKE
The new spy friends I bought with the new-found superpowers inherent to my new-found wealth.
She laughs. He glances at his cell phone.
JAKE
Oh, crud.
VICKI
What?
JAKE
They have to take out his backup guy, too--the backup guy made a false trail to somewhere else, but he's here too. Wow, duh, why didn't I think of that?
He conspicuously taps a text out on the cell phone and sends it.
JAKE
They brought backup just in case, and told me that's their standard procedure--
VICKI
Wow, they are good!
JAKE
And they just told me it'll cost double. I told them okay. It'll be a minute.
They watch the kids chase another receded wave and dodge another newly crashed wave. Jake glances at his cell phone.
JAKE
Okay, his backup is also neutralized.
JAKE
We've got half an hour to leave the hotel and get good lead time on an escape. We won't even check out of the hotel.
VICKI
Okee-dokee! Do you want another baby?
He looks at her in surprise, as if to say: "But I thought you already knew."
He stands and walks to the kids. Vicki watches him talk to Dominick, take Heidi by the hand, and walk along the shore. He stops, turns, and looks up-shore at VALENTI LOMBARDO, male, Italian, thirty-five, cosmopolitan and thuggish, but bright-eyed and amiable, in a slick suit. Jake gives Vicki a hard glare that warns her, and slowly shakes his head. He makes a call on his cell phone. He talks to someone, then hangs up, walks the kids to Vicki, and sits with her.
JAKE
Please sit with us for a minute, kids.
They sit on the towel and look at the surf.
JAKE
(to Vicki)
Second backup, up the shore.
DOMINICK
Huh? Backup what? Oh! Sheesh. I third guy?
EXT. HOTEL--DAY
JAKE
How much does your boss pay you to follow me?
Behind a Caribbean beach-front hotel, Jake stands in front of Valenti. A hundred yards down the beach at the shore, Vicki sits on a beach towel and watches Dominick and Heidi play in the shallow surf and wake. Valenti replies with the accent of his native Italian.
VALENTI
The name is Valenti, and I accidentally noticed that the two others are following you. I'm just in town, on vacation, and it was too obvious to me that those hot ladies were sent to lure them away.
JAKE
You mean you don't work for anyone?
VALENTI
Correct, but I wanted to scare you into thinking I did. I'm a former spy. I could give you trouble.
He smiles mischievously.
JAKE
Ah, thanks for being candid with me, and I confess you did frighten me. But it's too bad for you that you can't actually give me trouble.
A shadow of regret and fear flashes across Valenti's face.
VALENTI
JAKE
How did I know? I didn't, but your face just told me.
Valenti laughs, and wheezes, short of breath.
VALENTI
Ah, you played my own trick on me. I used to do that all the time.
JAKE
Listen, I'm in a hurry, and I think even my life is in danger, and I am not going to buy you off to protect me. Unless you do exactly as I say, I will kill you right here, right now, with my bare hands. Believe me I can, and you can't outrun me, wheezy.
Valenti laughs.
VALENTI
Ah well it was worth a shot. Save your family. You charm me so much I will ensure your safe departure, free of charge. Go.
JAKE
If you're playing stupid to make me think you're not a spy--
Valenti goes volcanic, and raises an arm as if to aim something at Jake. Jake kicks him hard in the balls. Valenti doubles up, falls to his si
de on the ground, groans in agony, drops the small silenced pistol which he got from his vest pocket, and grabs his crotch. He is bug-eyed and red-faced, and cries. Jake picks up the gun. Valenti manages a pained, wheezy, breathless plea.
VALENTI
Please--
Jake kicks him full-force in the ribs, and the blow knocks his breath out with an involuntary, funny, short operatic shout, and the blow also throws him flat on his back. Jake switches off the gun safety, cocks it, and aims at Valenti's shoulder. Valenti regains his breath with a sharp, deep, loud breath, and Jake pulls the trigger: ZRT! He winces from the kickback and squeamish fear.
He looks around. Other than his family and Valenti, no one is on the beach or at the back of the hotel. Jake aims at Valenti's head. No, he doesn't, because Valenti isn't there on the ground where he was.
Valenti stands beside Jake, and cries and laughs through his pain, still red-faced.
Jake turns and steps back, and aims the gun at Valenti's heart. Valenti holds his hands up, defenseless.
VALENTI
Ah, my friend! Please forgive me! My old ways. I use to get in such an incredible rage, back when. I am afraid that you have just seen it. You insulted my honor, but how silly of me, how could I know what you are to think? I deserve no respect from you. I just tried to--
JACK
(angry whisper)
Get on with it!
VALENTI
I am utterly harmless. You have played my game better than I. I will not harm you. Take my gun. Go.
JAKE
I have no compelling reason to trust you.
VALENTI
True. Except that I have accidentally gotten the attention of one of my old friends, who will emerge from that door
(nods to the Hotel exit)
to trap you within moments. You must aim the gun up in the air toward the beach, and pretend to laugh with me. I am red-faced