to the couch and took my seat next to Amy.
The conversation continued to flow, but I couldn’t resist
glancing back at this new mystery girl. I waited a few seconds then
pretended to fix my ponytail. When I peeked back over my shoulder,
she was gone.
“We should get going,” Amy suddenly announced. I was a little
shocked. We were having such a good time. I had to agree though. I
looked at the clock and saw that it was almost midnight. Danni and
Cleo walked us to the door and hugged us good-bye.
“Do you guys need a ride? We can get the boys to take you.”
Cleo pointed across the street to the Omega Beta Alpha house. I
hadn’t noticed, but the house where their brother fraternity lived
was just as big and breathtaking.
“No. We’re right over in Cramer. We’ll be fine,” Amy said. I
wasn’t sure I’d heard her right. I didn’t need “the boys” to drive
us anywhere, but Amy seemed like she’d been waiting her whole
teenage life to get into a car with a fraternity boy.
“Okay. Well, come back tomorrow around nine,” Danni said.
We happily agreed.
❖
• 23 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
On the way back to the dorm, Amy explained to me how the rest
of rush would go. Every night we would narrow down our options
and skip the places we decided to drop off our list. Come Friday, Bid
Day, we would get invitations to join whichever sorority wanted us
for the next round of initiation, a round that Amy would go through
solo. I agreed to keep her company through the rest of the week on
the grounds she would actually back off after Bid Day and we would
never set foot near the Xi O house ever again. She was more than
okay with those terms.
So every night, we went to one less house, mingling with
Jessicas and Kaitlins. I went through my colorful collection of low-
cut, v-neck tees. Amy was smart and kept her mouth shut about my
wardrobe choices.
We crossed the Betas off the list when one of the girls referred
to my favorite talk show host as “a nasty fucking dyke.” The
Kappas counted us out when I actually yawned out loud during their
philanthropy presentation. The rest of the time, I nodded and smiled,
just counting down the minutes until we could hang out with the
girls of Alpha Beta Omega. Somehow, they actually made the idea
of joining a sorority, well, at least their sorority, sound appealing.
I actually listened during their more informal info sessions and
bothered to retain a few bits of history.
The sorority had been formed in 1863 as a literary club for
ladies in Washington, DC. It was one of the oldest sororities around,
but only counted twelve chapters at various universities across the
country. Maryland University was home to the Alpha chapters of
both ABO and OBA. Alpha Beta Omega had the biggest house
on the Row, but the least amount of members. Danni told me they
capped membership at thirty-six. This year they had room for only
twelve new girls. Xi O boasted a roster of one hundred and seventy-
four sisters. How did you get to know one hundred and seventy-four
girls well enough to call them sisters?
Aside from the added bonus of small numbers, Alpha Beta
Omega didn’t charge for membership. That included the semester
dues the other sororities and fraternities required. ABO had a
collection of financially successful alumnae, and the families of the
• 24 •
Better Off red
founding members had invested millions in every chapter to ensure
the sorority attracted girls who truly wanted to belong and not just
girls who could afford to.
Their charitable hours were spent supporting Types of Hope,
a foundation that catered specifically to women and children with
HIV/AIDS. The teardrop ruby necklaces represented not only their
bonds of sisterhood, but their support for those they pledged to help.
It was hard to hate girls like that. You couldn’t make fun of people
who actually cared and actually managed to be themselves.
I started noticing the girls of ABO around campus more and
more. By Wednesday, Amy and I were joining Cleo and Danni for
lunch and hanging around the quad with them between classes.
I knew people thought we were trying to kiss up to the chapter’s
recruitment chairs, but I sure wasn’t. I genuinely liked them. And I
still didn’t want to be in a sorority.
Even though joining Alpha Beta Omega would cost me nothing
but time, time wasn’t something I had a lot to give. I was determined
to get a 4.0 my first semester, and joining any sort of organization that
would demand so much of my nights and weekends was something
I couldn’t swing. Still, I found myself wanting to be around Danni,
Cleo, and the rest of the girls. They made us feel welcome, and they
made me feel more open to being myself.
During the hours we spent with the girls, they seemed to become
more and more comfortable being physically affectionate with one
another in front of me and Amy. In some cases, like with Heather
and Cleo, it seemed like they were just close friends. Things were
different with Danni. By the time Thursday night rolled around, I was
convinced she was sleeping with Paige, if not Layna and Barb too.
They were always touching and kissing. Nothing so intense
that it made me feel like a sick voyeur, but just enough to make me
a little wet in the pants. Amy was as straight as could be. She was
back on the prowl as soon as she learned the Chi Nu in her econ
class had a girlfriend. I thought watching Paige feel Danni up would
have made her uncomfortable, but she barely seemed to notice.
I found all the girls of ABO very attractive, but that type of
intimacy always made me think of the girl with the spiky black hair.
• 25 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
I found myself thinking about her constantly. Constantly would
have been a lot if she and I were dating. What I was into was a tad
obsessive considering we had never said a word to each other. I
ended every night we spent at the ABO house disappointed because
she never made an appearance, as if she owed me the chance to just
look at her again. I never saw her around campus either, but her lips
and caramel-green eyes were always featured in my fantasies. And
every time I pictured those eyes and considered the possibilities of
those full red lips, my body reacted as if she were right there with
me, watching me the same intense way she had that first night of
rush. I did my best to spare Amy from the feelings this nameless
girl sparked in me. Okay, I masturbated like crazy whenever I had
the room to myself, and still every night after I was sure Amy was
asleep, snoring somewhat softly across our tiny room, I couldn’t
stop myself from conjuring up images of that gorgeous face, that
amazing body, and all things I wanted her to do to me. I tried to
fight it, but eventually my fingers would slip past whatever pajama
botto
ms I’d worn to bed, into my underwear, through my short curls.
The shock at just how wet she made me faded the second my fingers
passed over my clit, all sensitive and hard.
I had to swallow heavily to choke down my gasps and my sighs
as my body rocked eagerly against my hand, aching for so much
more than a warm-up, but dreading the cool, foolish thoughts that
snuck up on me as soon as I came.
Every time it started the same way, in the same place. I would
find her back in the ABO living room, but in my imagination, we
would have the place to ourselves. No other girls, no interruptions
or pointless conversations about majors and stupid boys. Mostly,
she was silent as she beckoned me across the room with her crooked
index finger. The one night I’d driven myself crazy, wanting more
than a fantasy, my imagination forced her to speak. She asked me
my name, and even though her voice sounded exactly like mine, it
was that one thing, her just wanting to know me, that keyed me up
even more.
I would walk to her, and every time, she would kiss me, deep
and slow, letting her warm hands gently trail along my sides, up
• 26 •
Better Off red
my back, and if I was feeling secure in my squeaky dorm mattress,
around to my breasts. She’d flick at my nipples, pinch them through
thin layers of cotton until an almost shrill moan from me made her
stop. I would tease my clit as I liked to do before my fingers moved
to my opening. One of her hands would follow the same path,
spreading my wetness around. Her other hand rested at the small of
my back, holding me in place as she pulled her lips away from mine
and kissed a hot, wet path down my neck.
That was always the best moment, when I could squeeze my
eyes shut and forget about all the sights and sounds and the stupidity
of how and where we’d first laid eyes on each other and just feel
what I was doing to myself, what she was doing to me.
I’d draw it out as long as I could. I had to be reasonable for
Amy’s sake, but I always made the best of the imaginary minutes
Hazel Eyes and I spent together. Something simple would push
me over the edge. A single intense stroke of her fingers against the
inner walls of my pussy or one forceful downward thrust of her
palm against my clit. Or like during the last time, the best time, the
way she whispered my name tripped me up in my covert pleasure
operation and had me coming in heavy, saturated pulses all around
my fingers.
I have no clue how I didn’t wake Amy up. I did moan out loud.
My bed did creak and groan under the grinding of my hips into the
shitty springs, but even if I’d come out of my hazel-eyed stupor and
seen Amy sitting straight up in her bed, staring at me like the sicko
I was, I still couldn’t get this girl out of my mind, and the fantasies I
had about her wouldn’t let me keep my hand away from my crotch.
And that was just back at the dorm. Out on campus, I started to
become a little desperate.
I wanted to see her. I wanted to know her, but short of stalking
the ABO house twenty-four hours a day, I didn’t know how to find
her. MU had a pretty big student body, so running into someone
who lived off campus and didn’t share your major or anything
resembling your schedule would have been a little much to expect.
Asking Danni or Cleo about her was an option, but I felt foolish
bringing her up, like a freshman asking a senior to prom.
• 27 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
I decided once they were through with their weeks of initiation,
my pruned fingers and I would find her. If she shot me down, I could
suffer the embarrassment of rejection without Danni or Cleo being
involved. I just had to get through this silly week of rush.
❖
On Friday morning, Danni told us to be in our room between
four and seven p.m. to receive our invitations to initiation. I wanted
to get ahead in my English reading, so I stayed in with Amy while
she waited. By six o’clock, she’d already received three floral-
covered envelopes, life-changing offers, sealed and delivered, but
for some reason she didn’t seem all that excited.
“What’s the problem?” I asked. “Three is pretty good.”
“Yeah. I know. I was kinda hoping ABO would ask me and not
‘cause I’m so cute. I really like them,” she said.
“You know, so do I.” I looked at the clock. “You want to go get
some dinner?” It was almost seven, and these chicks all seemed so
anxious when they came to the door, I doubted any of them would
wait this long.
“Yeah. Let me put my shoes on.”
“Don’t worry. Something tells me the ABO girls would hang
out with us even if we didn’t join.”
I pulled the door open and walked smack into Cleo.
“Oh! Hey.”
“Ladies,” she said with a calm smile.
I was going to invite Cleo in, when I glanced at her hands. She
was holding two bright red envelopes. One for Amy. And one for
me.
• 28 •
Better Off red
Chapter tWO
Amy and I dropped onto her bed and stared at our envelopes.
I turned mine over and gazed at the circle of thick black
wax pressed with the Greek symbols for Alpha Beta Omega. It was
the most beautiful presentation of stationary I’d ever seen.
“Are you going to open it?” Amy peered up at me. She was so
excited I thought she would bounce off the bed.
“Are you?”
wax, and inside the envelope was a small square of black paper.
Below the crest, the day’s date, and my first, middle, and last names,
it read:
We invite you to join us in our eternal sisterhood.
Interesting word choice, but I wasn’t surprised. Amy told me
her mother still met with her Xi O sisters twice a month, and she was
almost fifty. Joining a sorority meant you were in it for the long
haul. I read the words over again, running my finger across the
indentations the print made in the thick paper. The red script looked
gorgeous against the ebony background. Something else was off,
though.
“Do you remember filling out anything with your middle
name?” I asked.
“No, but they could get them from the housing department or
the chancellor’s office,” Amy said. “This is weird though.”
• 29 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
“What? Let me see.” I grabbed the small piece of paper from
Amy’s hand. The words were exactly the same, only this invitation
had Amy’s name instead of mine. “What’s the problem?”
“It’s a bid card. There’s supposed to be a check box or a blank
line or something, like a yes or no option so if we decide we don’t
want to go through initiation, we can check no and send it back.”
“You think what, they aren’t giving us a choice?”
“Or they are assuming we’re going to say yes?”
&nbs
p; “Are we?” I asked.
“I don’t know, Ginger. Are we?” I didn’t like it, but she had
every right to give me crap about accepting the bid. Going through
initiation with the sisters of Alpha Beta Omega was not something I
wanted at all. I was glad that Amy and I had made some new friends,
but my priorities hadn’t changed. School came first.
I should have told Amy that, right then and there, and I would
have, if it weren’t for one small problem. I thought of the dark-
haired girl with the hazel eyes and her perfect red lips almost every
time I closed my eyes. I didn’t know what role she played in ABO,
but I had a feeling it was something important. If I went through
initiation, maybe I could see her again.
I also had to consider Amy. She had a big mouth. Having a
big mouth didn’t mean she knew when, or even how to stick up
for herself. Cleo, Danni, and the rest of the girls seemed perfectly
normal, but any girl who had survived high school knew a thing or
two about mob mentality. Greek culture carried with it the unshakable
stigma of hazing. There was no way I would put up with that kind of
crap. Amy would, if she knew it meant she could belong. Stalking
Hazel Eyes and keeping tabs on my roommate were perfectly valid
reasons to at least go through initiation. I reminded myself again, I
could always quit.
“Okay,” I said confidently.
“Are you sure? You’re really going to do it?” Amy gasped. I
could hear that horrible squeal of hers aching to get escape.
“I’m going with you, but only for two reasons. One, I don’t
want you going into this alone. We barely know these girls and I
don’t want you getting hazed.”
• 30 •
Better Off red
“Aw, Ginge.”
“And I can always quit. Which I will if this takes up too much
time. I’m serious, Amy. I need to keep my grades up this semester.
I’m not going to let any parties or canine diabetes fun runs mess up
my GPA.”
“Oh, Ginger. Thank you. Thank you. I swear this will be fun.
Thank you,” she squealed.
“Yeah, great. So what do we do now?” I flipped the card over
as if instructions had magically appeared on the back.
“Um, we could call Danni or we could wait—” Amy was cut
off by a knock on the door. We glanced at each other then I jumped
up to answer it. Danni was standing in the hallway.