“So . . . my concubine Greta?”
“A descended royal princess of The Eld.”
“Oh. Shit.”
“Exactly, Baron. So, here’s the new plan. You keep the Amulet of the Ember Soul in your castle. You keep it on you at all times. If someone comes for it, they will need to infiltrate your keep and confront you directly. If you leave your keep, you will take a regiment of armed guards with you, everywhere. You will now create a new squad of soldiers whose sole purpose is protecting you and that amulet. These soldier will be well paid and given benefits above all others. You will ensure that being one of your elite guard is something all within your domain should seek to become.”
“Well . . . paid?”
“Yes, well paid. As with the rest of your staff.”
“I have indentured servants,” Grimskull sniffed, “not staff.”
“Not anymore,” I said, shaking my head and pointing at the baron. “Now, you have a paid workforce. You will do everything in your power to make your staff love you and never betray you.”
“Is all this . . . necessary?”
“How many times have you had an assassination attempt against you? A direct attack? Someone poisoning your food?”
“Hmm.” The baron considered the question. “It does seem to happen a lot.”
Of course it does. Fantasy worlds are nothing if not predictable. “Yes, Baron, they do. Because your people hate you and wish to see you dead. That is why we are going to change your image.”
“But I am Baron Viktor Grimskull! All serve me! All bend their knee to my will! Those who oppose me die!”
“Which is why everyone is trying to kill you. You will still be Baron Grimskull, ruler of the Eastern Empire. But with a few modifications.”
“Modifications?”
“Yes.”
“Such as?”
“Other than a staff of well paid and fairly treated employed servants? Well, off the top of my head, you will also need an armed and trained standing army made up of loyal soldiers.”
“What about my recruitment drives?”
“Are you referring to the purging of the villages wherein you abscond with formidable fighting men and child soldiers?” I asked.
“Naturally.”
“Gone,” I stated flatly.
“What?!”
“Next come your taxes and tariffs.”
“What are those?”
“What you should be doing to the people of the Eastern Empire. Instead of taking what you want, you will impose a fair tax to generate revenue.”
“Your words confuse and anger me,” Grimskull said, narrowing his eyes.
Ignoring him, I continued. “You will use a portion of the revenue you receive to put back in to the empire’s infrastructure for road maintenance, houses for healing the sick, and schools for educating the masses.”
“OK, that is enough of that!” the baron declared, standing and pointing his finger at me. “You claim to be the master villain? The darkest of us all? Yet you advise benevolence, education, and . . . fair taxation? This audience is ended. I demand to be returned to my realm, immediately!”
About the Author
C.T. Phipps is a lifelong student of horror, science fiction, and fantasy. An avid tabletop gamer, he discovered this passion led him to write and turned him into a lifelong geek. He is the author of The Rules of Supervillainy, the Red Room series, the forthcoming Wraith Knight, as well as the soon to be released Agent G series. C.T. lives in Ashland, Ky with his wife and their four dogs. You can find out more about him and his work by reading his blog, The United Federation of Charles, (http://unitedfederationofcharles.blogspot.com//)
Table of Contents
Foreword
Chapter One
WHERE I TRY TO TAKE DOWN THE EVIL PRESIDENT
Chapter Two
WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FINAL BOSS FIGHT
Chapter Three
WHERE WE SKIP OVER MY IMPRISONMENT
Chapter Four
WHERE WE ESCAPE FROM SURBURBAN HELL
Chapter Five
OUR BRILLIANT PLAN TO ATTACK OTHER GARY DIRECTLY
Chapter Six
WHERE THINGS GO PEAR-SHAPED (OF COURSE)
Chapter Seven
WHERE THE GANG REUNITES LIKE IN RETURN OF THE JEDI
WHERE MY BRAIN SHUTS DOWN FOR A BIT
Chapter Nine
WHERE I MEET MY DAUGHTER FOR THE FIRST TIME
Chapter Ten
BEING A FATHER IS MY GREATEST CHANCE FOR VILLAINY YET
Chapter Eleven
WHERE I REALIZE OTHER PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS TOO
Chapter Twelve
WHERE I HAVE A NICE CHAT WITH MY DOPPELGÄNGER
Chapter Thirteen
MUSINGS ON THE LOSS OF FRIENDS AND LOVE
Chapter Fourteen
WHERE WE HEAD TO CLUB INFERNO
Chapter Fifteen
THE STATE OF THE SUPERVILLAIN UNION
Chapter Sixteen
WHERE I TRY TO SELL THE BLACK WITCH ON MY NOT-PLAN
Chapter Seventeen
DRAMATIC ENTRANCES MAKE FOR GOOD FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Chapter Eighteen
WHERE OTHER GARY CROSSES THE MORAL EVENT HORIZON
Chapter Nineteen
A QUIET MOMENT BEFORE WE GO TO WAR
Chapter Twenty
WHERE EVERYTHING GOES TO HELL (AGAIN)
Chapter Twenty-One
WHERE I FACE THE ONE DECENT PERSON IN THE MERCIFUL REGIME
Chapter Twenty-Two
THE FINAL SHOWDOWN BETWEEN ME, MYSELF, AND I
Epilogue
An Excerpt from Agent G: Infiltrator by C. T. Phipps – On Sale Now
Chapter One
Agent G: Infiltrator
Chapter Two
An Excerpt from Villains Rule by M. K. Gibson - On Sale Now
Prologue
Prologue pt. 2 - Electric Boogaloo
Chapter One
Where I Introduce Myself
Chapter Two
Where I Discuss Fantastical Beasts and How to Feed Them
About the Author