‘Sadly not. I have read the written observations you provided to explain the context of why you said what you said but I now think it’s best we don’t use those. Just in case we aggravate the original offence.’
I nodded. ‘You’re probably right.’
‘So,’ she said. ‘What do you want me to say?’
‘Plead guilty. Offer some mitigation. You know the kind of thing. Take the fine.’ I shrugged. ‘They’ve got to raise the money for English football somehow. Sure as hell no one’s going to be interested in a friendly against the Republic of Ireland. The moth-eaten blazers at the FA don’t seem to understand that there’s no such thing as a friendly in football these days. Not at over a hundred quid a pop. There’s nothing friendly about England ticket prices. And no one gives a shit about an under-23s match between England and China. Or a disability eleven versus the Russian Blind.’
Miss Shields frowned.
‘You think I’m joking, don’t you?’ I said.
‘Yes,’ she said, flatly.
‘Well, I’m not.’
She nodded. ‘You know, I think it’s probably best that you leave all of the talking to me.’
‘I agree.’
They called us into a room and you could have cut the atmosphere with a pair of plastic scissors. The four-man hearing was actually three men and a woman. I guess the dog couldn’t make it. The chairperson was a man but it was the woman who did the talking and she seemed a little disappointed that I’d decided to plead guilty. The pencil she was holding in her tiny fist looked as if she’d sharpened it especially to stab my cock with it.
Miss Shields did her best but in spite of her eloquent arguments to the effect that most normal women wouldn’t take offence at the tweet I’d made, the FA still felt inclined to fine me twenty-five thousand quid. Which is a nice round sum and the same fine they gave Mario Balotelli for his infamous Instagram post about Super Mario and the Jews. It will probably keep them in expense-account lunches and dinners for about a month. FA independent regulatory commission hearings are like speed cameras; if you drive in London, you’re bound to get a fine and three points eventually. It’s the same with being in English football. The pain in the arse is the lecture you get, especially when it was obvious the chairman thought the whole thing had been whipped up by the media. But of course the FA is terrified of the media and is more likely to pay attention to some idiot’s tweets – and that includes me – than the fact that we can’t seem to win international matches against anyone who matters, when it matters most. Scoring goals and winning trophies used to be the proper province of the FA; now it’s all about adjudicating petty grievances on social media, or punishing managers who say what everyone in the game knows: that referees are making too many mistakes.
Ignoring the press who were waiting in the car park like a pack of scavenging dogs, I drove back to my flat in Chelsea and made a cup of Bonifieur coffee and watched my ugly mug on Sky Sports News. Always good for a laugh. There was a famous sportswoman in the studio who called me a dinosaur and said she hoped I would not be welcomed back into sports management any time soon. Which seemed to be a fairly safe expectation. To my relief she was cut short by the news that London City’s manager, Stepan Kolchak, had resigned with immediate effect, ahead of the big game with Arsenal. A minute later my landline started ringing. I was going to ignore it until I noticed that the number identified the caller as Viktor Sokolnikov. Momentarily unnerved by this call from the dead, I picked up the handset and found myself speaking to Viktor’s Russian-American daughter, Yevgeniya. I’d met her once before; ferociously smart, and famously beautiful, she was studying for an MBA at Harvard. Or so I had thought.
‘I was very sorry to hear about your father,’ I said. ‘In spite of all our differences I always liked him.’
‘Thank you, Scott.’
‘Is there any news about his killer?’
‘No. And there won’t be. But everyone knows who ordered his death. He wouldn’t pay the Kremlin the protection money they were demanding. And so they killed him. That’s how it works, these days. Since Berezovsky. Since Khodorkovsky. You pay up or you find yourself dead or in prison. This is something I’m going to have to get used to myself, since I inherited the bulk of my father’s fortune. Not to mention his football team.’
She sounded more American than Russian.
‘I take it that Stepan Kolchak’s resignation had something to do with you.’
‘That’s right. He was useless, of course. Couldn’t manage a team of painters and decorators. I asked him to resign. To give him a little dignity. But I was much more inclined to sack him.’
‘It sounds like you’re going to be taking an active role in the club, Yevgeniya.’
‘Very active. I’m given up Harvard and I’m back here permanently. To manage all my father’s affairs. Including London City. My father always liked you, Scott. Admired you very much. I believe that he would have asked you to come back to manage the club at the end of the season. Of course by then it will be too late. We’ll have been relegated and we can kiss goodbye to a hundred million pounds’ worth of television money.’
‘I wouldn’t be too sure that he would have asked me back. And I’m not so sure I’d have wanted to go back to City.’
‘I’m not my father. So. Mr Dinosaur. Mr Sexist Pig. What do you say? I will pay you what Arsenal pay Arsène Wenger: £7.5 million a year, plus a five million pound bonus if you keep us up. A three-year contract. And here’s your chance to prove all those women wrong who were calling for your head today. I think it would actually do you good to have a woman boss. Come and work for me, Scott. Come and work for a woman. Only please, come soon. As I’m sure you know we have a very important game against Arsenal on Sunday. Perhaps the most important game in our season. So, just don’t keep me waiting, okay? I have the curse right now and I become very irritable when I don’t get what I want.’
~
We hope you enjoyed this book.
The next Scott Manson book is coming in autumn 2016.
For more information, click one of the links below:
About Philip Kerr
About the Scott Manson series
Also by Philip Kerr
An invitation from the publisher
About False Nine
JUST BECAUSE FOOTBALL’S A GAME, DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO PLAY FAIR.
Scott Manson needs to leave England. His career managing London City football team is over, and it cuts deep to watch them play on without him.
But finding a job in the star-studded world of international football is harder than it looks. A new position in Shanghai turns out to be part of an elaborate sting operation. And in Barcelona, he’s hired not as a football manager, but as a detective. Barca’s star player is missing, and they need to find him fast.
Scott has a month to track him down. As he follows the trail from Paris to Antigua, he encounters corrupt men, wicked women, and the rotten core of the beautiful game...
Reviews
‘The most gripping whodunit in the world of football since Pizzagate.’
Sport
‘An entertaining football thriller… Kerr knows his stuff.’
The Times
‘Highly entertaining and deliciously gossipy.’
Irish Independent
‘He writes… he scores!’
Mail on Sunday
‘A very readable romp… an enjoyable window through which to view the excesses of the Premier League.’
Scotland on Sunday
‘Pacy… explores the club and its characters with relish.’
The List
“One of the great achievements of contemporary crime fiction”
Observer
“Kerr’s novels are modern classics”
Simon Sebag Montefiore
“Utterly convincing”
Independent
About Philip Kerr
PHILIP KERR is the bestselling author of the Bernie Gunther se
ries, for which he received a CWA Ellis Peters Award. He was born in Edinburgh and now lives in London. He is a life-long supporter of Arsenal.
About the Scott Manson series
1 – January Window
EVERYONE KNOWS FOOTBALL IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.
BUT THIS TIME, IT’S MURDER.
Scott Manson is team coach for London City football club. He’s also their all-round fixer – he gets the lads into training and out of trouble, keeps the Wags at bay and the press in his pocket. The players love him, the bosses trust him. But now the manager of London City is dead, killed at his team’s beloved stadium at Silvertown Docks. Even Scott Manson can’t smooth over murder... but can he catch the killer before he strikes again?
Set in the glamorous, corrupt world of Premier League football, this is the first in a gripping new series from a bestselling crimewriter.
January Window I available here.
2 – Hand of God
THE BEAUTIFUL GAME JUST GOT UGLY.
In Athens, where London City is set to play Olympiacos in the Champion’s League, the temperature is high, and tempers even higher. Greece is rioting and manager Scott Manson is keeping his team on a tight leash. There must be no drinking, no nightlife and no women. After the game, they are to get back to London refreshed and ready for a crucial match at home stadium Silvertown Docks.
But Scott didn’t plan for death on the pitch. When City’s star striker collapses mid-match, it shocks the nation. Is it a heart attack? Or something more sinister? As the Greek authorities mount a murder investigation, Scott Manson must find the truth – and fast – to get his team home in time.
The second Scott Manson thriller from bestselling crimewriter Philip Kerr.
Hand of God is available here.
3 – False Nine
JUST BECAUSE FOOTBALL’S A GAME, DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO PLAY FAIR.
Scott Manson needs to leave England. His career managing London City football team is over, and it cuts deep to watch them play on without him.
But finding a job in the star-studded world of international football is harder than it looks. A new position in Shanghai turns out to be part of an elaborate sting operation. And in Barcelona, he’s hired not as a football manager, but as a detective. Barca’s star player is missing, and they need to find him fast.
Scott has a month to track him down. As he follows the trail from Paris to Antigua, he encounters corrupt men, wicked women, and the rotten core of the beautiful game...
Also by Philip Kerr
Bernie Gunther
March Violets
The Pale Criminal
A German Requiem
The One from the Other
A Quiet Flame
If the Dead Rise Not
Field Grey
Prague Fatale
A Man Without Breath
Standalone novels
A Philosophical Investigation
Dead Meat
Gridiron
Esau
A Five Year Plan
The Second Angel
The Shot
Dark Matter: The Private Life of Sir Isaac Newton
Hitler’s Peace
Prayer
Research
For Children
One Small Step
Children of the Lamp
The Akhenaten Adventure
The Blue Djinn of Babylon
The Cobra King of Kathmandu
The Day of the Djinn Warriors
The Eye of the Forest
The Five Fakirs of Faizabad
The Grave Robbers of Genghis Khan
An Invitation from the Publisher
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HeadofZeusBooks
The story starts here.
First published in Great Britain in 2015 by Head of Zeus Ltd
Copyright © Philip Kerr, 2015
The moral right of Philip Kerr to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
9 7 5 3 1 2 4 6 8
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN (E) 9781784971717
ISBN (HB) 9781784971724
ISBN (XTPB) 9781784971731
ISBN (PB) 9781784971748
Jacket design: www.mavrodesign.com
Cover image: © JohnzyJay
Author photo: © Joanna Miller Betts
Head of Zeus Ltd
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Contents
Cover
Welcome Page
Display Options Notice
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
About False Nine
Reviews
About Philip Kerr
About the Scott Manson series
Also by Philip Kerr
An Invitation from the Publisher
Copyright