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    The Unusual Life of Tristan Smith

    Page 49
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      EFICAN ENGLISH

      angels to see the angels, to have an orgasm

      ASM Assistant Stage Manager (standard English)

      awert newspaper advertisement, particularly a small or ‘classified’ advertisement

      bandock nappy or diaper. From Voorstand English banddoek

      ballot idiot, jerk. From French ballotter, ‘to shake up’ – thus, one who has had his brain shaken up

      baton penis

      bazooley 1. that which you are passionate about. 2. a prize, jackpot, winning bet. Also: bazoohley

      Benny bouftou From French colloq. beni-bouflou, lit: ‘a blessed eater of everything’

      biche-la-mar sea cucumbers or trepang. Also: bicho do mur. Corruption of French bèche-de-mer

      Bride pint of beer, so named for its foaming white ‘train’

      brique bleu unusually large molluscs (of the Gastropod class) harvested by first century EC Efican dyeworks. A source of ‘Efican Blue’. Lit: ‘blue bricks’

      cambruce a hick, farmer, an inhabitant of Nez Noir. Probably a corruption of French cambroussard

      cancerette cigarette

      case-latrine poor quality red wine. From French caisse poitrine, lit: ‘chest-breaker’

      cash parole automatic teller machine card

      casserole a spotlight

      couchette a small bed or crib, sometimes a small bedroom

      Croco cristi untranslatable expletive with origins in first century EC cant. Christi possibly from Sacristi or Holy Cow, Croco from Crocodile

      croix cakes round poppy-seed cakes. The croix (French ‘cross’) may have its origins in the cross-hatched pattern of icing

      dab father, dad

      demi-botte gumboot, Wellington. Also: demi, demon

      dos-sack back-pack

      dreck shit. From Yiddish

      Enteralis any tree of the predominantly Efican genus Enteralis

      facheur thief. Corruption of French faucher, ‘to steal’

      frere comrade

      frippes trousers, threads. From French frippes, ‘wrinkles’. Also: thrippes

      ganja dried leaves of the Indian hemp plant Cannabis sativa. From Hindi gaja, from Sanskrit grnja

      Gardiacivil police

      gazetted to be married. From first and second centuries EC, when civil marriages were published in the Government gazette

      gen a man, a gent

      governor to work for the governor is to work for the ruling class, to be a stool pigeon, to be untrustworthy

      illico presto immediately; hurry it up. From Italian presto

      jon-kay money. From French colloq. jonc, joncaille. Also: John Kay

      Jules man in general

      Lasto-net synthetic bandage developed in Efica 370 EC. Lasto-net is the registered copyright of Hellas Enterprises

      Leko an ellipsoidal reflective spotlight

      lever man a burglar specializing in forced entry

      lolo breast. Most likely from French child’s cry for milk, ‘lait, lait’

      loup mad, rabid

      meccano equestrian rig invented by Spencer Q. Stokes to train bare-back riders. A central post supports an arm like the jib of a crane from which the student is suspended

      mo-ami my friend. Corruption of French mon ami

      mobile-amor sedan chair

      mo-chou common endearment. Corruption of French mon chou-fleur, ‘my cauliflower’

      mollo mollo relax, take it easy

      Mongrel Day a warm, overcast, windy day

      mo-poulet common endearment, lit: ‘my chicken’

      Moosone the wet season

      mouette a gull-like bird indigenous to the southern islands of Efica

      Muddy Member of the Efican Democratic Party

      mug-wallop untranslatable abusive term. Probably cant, from first century EC

      musico a flatterer, a crook. Also: a musician

      parsley pubic hair. To put the asparagus in the parsley, to have sexual intercourse

      patapoof a fat person

      pea and thimble man a fairground con-man

      penguin policeman

      perroquet a green drink made from crushed ice, green lime cordial, seltzer. From French perroqet, ‘parrot’

      petite tente small tent used by family circuses in islands of Efica

      petticon little cunt (esp. vulg.). Corruption of French petite con

      pissmarie a nurse (vulg.). From santamarie

      playing card small fish, usually silver bream

      porpoise penis

      rak-rok block three-dimensional jigsaw invented in Efica, now manufactured under licence in Europe and Voorstand

      rikiki the little finger, an under-sized person, a 4 fl.oz. glass of beer. Corruption of French riquiqui

      ringhard a bad actor. From colloq. French ringard, ‘a real zero’

      riveter a homosexual (vulg.)

      roteuse any effervescent wine, sometimes champagne. Possibly from French roter, ‘to burp’

      santamarie a nurse

      shapoh the boss, the person in charge. From first century EC, most likely from French chapeau

      shooting star prostitute

      skipjack fish of the genus Pomatomus common in Efican waters

      sorcier (as in Pin-ball sorcier) a share trader who uses computers to make buying and selling decisions

      sock car tyre

      soup server an actor who plays small roles

      spanker backside

      Sparrowgrass common name for a tall thin person

      spin drier a woman who extracts money from men. Very strong connotation of ‘drying’ as relating to male ejaculation

      Starbuck first two rows in the Efican circus, traditionally marked with stencilled stars. These seats have backs, hence also: starback

      tarboof nose

      Teuf-teuf onomatopoeia for sound an old car makes

      tin-tin a dyer. First century EC, from French teinturier

      toubib a doctor. From Arabic

      tringler penis

      valsir backside. From French valseur, lit: ‘waltzer’

      vedette a celebrity

      vert-walk narrow band of mown grass between footpath and kerb-side in Efican coastal towns

      violin prison

      violiniste an ex-con

      walloper see gardiacivil

      zine any printed journal or news sheet. From English magazine

      VOORSTAND ENGLISH

      air-kool air-conditioning

      Beanbredie bean stew, a dish much beloved of Bruder Mouse in the Badberg Tales. See recipe in Bruder Mouse and the English gjent

      bhalam a string banjo favoured by many Pow-pow musicians, but not known in Voorstand until last century

      bhurger a citizen (Voorstand spelling of the standard English burgher)

      Bhurger-court one of the two courts of Voorstand; the other, higher, court is the Guildcourt

      blikk 1. a car (colloq.) 2. a tin can

      bottelier wine waiter

      bullschtool bullshit

      Cyborg see Simulacrum

      deskmajoor the concierge in a hotel or apartment building, a role often taken by retired soldiers of the Voorstand Armed Forces – hence majoor (‘major’) from Dutch. See also wheelmajoor, sparkmajoor

      Dome a specially constructed theatre for the presentation of the Voorstand Sirkus

      facilitator someone who earns their living by ‘facilitating’ the illegal entry of aliens into Voorstand

      filtreeder a water filtration tower designed to cleanse the polluted water table of Saarlim City

      Folkghost spirits in the Badberg tales who often appear in times of crisis to impart wisdom to the Bruders

      footsack to go away; (trans.) to kick away, dismiss. Originally voertsek from Dutch voert, ‘a foot’

      gaaf as in gaaf-morning, ‘good morning’, a usage of gaaf that does not seem to have existed in old Dutch

      Geloof faith

      geld-band a gold belt or band which marked the magical characters in the Badberg tales. A popular fashion accessory at the time of this history

    &nbs
    p; Ghostdorp a theme park devoted to historical re-enactments, often located on actual historical sights. From Dutch dorp, ‘a town’

      gjent a man. Also: business-gjent

      gjil a woman

      gondel a water taxi. From Dutch gondel, ‘a gondola’

      hearth home, family. Hearth folk are those, whether related or not, who are considered kin. Also: heart folk

      Hollandse Maagd Dutch Maid

      hunning common endearment, lit: ‘honey’

      kak shit

      Kakdorp lit: shit-town

      kanal canal

      karakter a not easily translatable code of behaviour that encompasses both table manners and moral fibre

      klootsac a disaster. From Dutch, lit: ‘testicle’ (kloot), ‘bag’ (sac). (esp. vulg.)

      kraker a squatter

      kraal corral

      landloper itinerant

      liefling darling, from Dutch

      loop-de-loop an autograph or signature, particularly of a flamboyant nature

      Meneer mister

      minebroo brother

      misdaad boy a member of a gang, lit: ‘crime-boy’

      odeklonje any perfumed toilet water

      ootlander a foreigner. Corruption of Dutch buitenlander. Lit: ‘someone from outside our land’

      platz town square

      Pow-pow originally captured soldiers and their families (Prisoners of War) and later illegal immigrants who came to make up the low end of the labour pool. Pow-pow music is the distinctive music produced by a large and disparate group

      prikkeled irritated. From Dutch prikkelen

      produkter Sirkus entrepreneur

      raagbol pudding vegetable pudding in which the thin strips of carrot visible through the dough are suggestive of a mop or a mop of hair. Also: Pope’s head Pudding. From Dutch ragebol, ‘a mop of hair’

      rhyti a one-stringed fiddle, originally from Africa

      Simulacrum a computer-driven likeness of the mythic animals of the Franciscan Free Church. Abbrev: Simi

      Simulation Dome vid presentation of Sirkus on 360-degree screens, specially designed for export market

      Sirkus an entertainment born of the belief that animals should not be held captive by humans. Originally an ingenious morality tale without animals, finally a sophisticated presentation using laser characters, computer imagery and human performers who are distinguished by their skill and high mortality rate. From English Circus

      sparkmajoor any of the numerous technicians who operate the computers at a Sirkus. See deskmajoor

      Steeg alleyway

      Stempel visa, from Dutch Stempel, ‘a stamp’

      swartzer someone with black skin (esp. vulg.)

      Tentdorp the original entertainment area of Saarlim, lit: ‘tent-town’

      trannie a transsexual

      trothaus a penthouse, normally luxurious. From Dutch trots, ‘proud’

      Verteller the narrator of the early Sirkuses of Voorstand. From Dutch Verteiler, ‘story-teller’

      vid-glorie the type of fame that comes from having one’s image broadcast on the vid

      Voorwacker an admirer of Voorstandish popular culture

      vote-dokter originally a political adviser, but more recently a euphemism for someone involved in espionage, destabilization

      wheelmajoor chauffeur. See deskmajoor

      wheel-squirrel bicyclist, roller-skater, any wheeled human travelling rapidly along a pedestrian thoroughfare

      wolkegrabber lit: a cloud-grabber. From Dutch wolke, ‘a cloud’

      yardveeg a janitor in an apartment building. From English yard and Dutch vegen, ‘to sweep’. Orig. yardveeger

      zee a large body of water, not usually a sea; a lake

      Peter Carey is the author of eleven novels and has twice received the Booker Prize. His other honors include the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize and the Miles Franklin Literary Award. Born in Australia, he has lived in New York City for twenty years.

      www.petercareybooks.com

      BOOKS BY PETER CAREY

      PARROT AND OLIVER IN AMERICA

      HIS ILLEGAL SELF

      THEFT

      WRONG ABOUT JAPAN

      MY LIFE AS A FAKE

      30 DAYS IN SYDNEY: A WILDLY DISTORTED ACCOUNT

      TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANG

      JACK MAGGS

      THE UNUSUAL LIFE OF TRISTAN SMITH

      THE BIG BAZOOHLEY

      THE TAX INSPECTOR

      OSCAR AND LUCINDA

      BLISS

      ILLYWHACKER

      THE FAT MAN IN HISTORY

      ALSO BY PETER CAREY

      BLISS

      For thirty-nine years Harry Joy has been the quintessential good guy. But one morning Harry has a heart attack on his suburban front lawn, and, for the space of nine minutes, he becomes a dead guy. And although he is resuscitated, he will never be the same. For, as Peter Carey makes abundantly clear in this darkly funny novel, death is sometimes a necessary prelude to real life. Part The Wizard of Oz, part Dante’s Inferno, and part Australian Book of the Dead, Bliss is a triumph of uninhibited storytelling from a writer of extravagant gifts.

      Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-76719-0

      HIS ILLEGAL SELF

      Seven-year-old Che Selkirk was raised in isolated privilege by his New York grandmother. The son of radical student activists at Harvard in the late sixties, Che has grown up with the hope that one day his parents will come back for him. So when a woman arrives at his front door and whisks him away to the jungles of Queensland, he is confronted with the most important questions of his life: Who is his real mother? Did he know his real father? And if all he suspects is true, what should he do? In this artful tale of a young boy’s journey, His Illegal Self lifts your spirit in the most unexpected way.

      Fiction/Literature/978-0-307-27649-0

      ILLYWHACKER

      In Australian slang, an illywhacker is a country fair con man, an unprincipled seller of fake diamonds and dubious tonics. And Herbert Badgery, the 139-year-old narrator of Peter Carey’s uproarious novel, may be the king of them all. As Carey follows this charming scoundrel across a continent and a century, he creates a crazy quilt of outlandish encounters. Boldly inventive, irresistibly odd, Illywhacker is further proof that Peter Carey is one of the most enchanting writers at work in any hemisphere.

      Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-76790-9

      JACK MAGGS

      The year is 1837 and a stranger is prowling London. He is Jack Maggs, an illegal returnee from the prison island of Australia. He has the demeanor of a savage and the skills of a hardened criminal, and he is risking his life on seeking vengeance and reconciliation. Installing himself within the household of the genteel grocer Percy Buckle, Maggs soon attracts the attention of a cross section of London society. But Maggs is obsessed with a plan of his own. And as these schemes converge, Maggs rises to the center, a dark looming figure, at once frightening, mysterious, and compelling.

      Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-76037-5

      MY LIFE AS A FAKE

      Fiendishly devious and addictively readable, Peter Carey’s My Life as a Fake is a moral labyrinth constructed around the uneasy relationship between literature and lying. In steamy, fetid Kuala Lumpur in 1972, Sarah Wode-Douglass, the editor of a London poetry journal, meets a mysterious Australian named Christopher Chubb. Chubb is a despised literary hoaxer, carting around a manuscript likely filled with deceit. But in this dubious piece of literature Sarah recognizes a work of real genius. But whose genius? As Sarah tries to secure the manuscript, Chubb draws her into a fantastic story of imposture, murder, kidnapping, and exile—a story that couldn’t be true unless its teller were mad. My Life as a Fake is Carey at his most audacious and entertaining.

      Fiction/978-1-4000-3088-0

      OSCAR AND LUCINDA

      This sweeping, irrepressibly inventive novel is a romance, but a romance of the sort that could only take place in nineteenth-century Australia. For only on that sprawling continent—a haven for misfits of both the animal and human kingdoms—could a nervous Angl
    ican minister who gambles on the instructions from the Divine become allied with a teenaged heiress who buys a glassworks to help liberate her sex. And only Peter Carey could implicate Oscar and Lucinda in a narrative of love that culminates in a half-mad expedition to transport a glass church across the Outback.

      Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-77750-2

      THE TAX INSPECTOR

      Granny Catchprice runs her family business (and her family) with senility, cunning, and a handbagful of explosives. Her daughter Cathy would rather be singing Country & Western than selling cars, while Benny Catchprice, sixteen and seriously psychopathic, wants to transform a failing auto franchise into an empire—and himself into an angel. Out of the confrontation between the Catchprices and their unwitting nemesis, a beautiful and very pregnant agent of the Australian Taxation Office, Peter Carey, creates an endlessly surprising and fearfully convincing novel.

      Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-73598-4

      THEFT

      Michael “Butcher” Boone is an ex-“really famous” painter, now reduced to living in a remote country house and acting as a caretaker for his younger brother, Hugh. Alone together, they’ve forged a delicate equilibrium, a balance instantly destroyed when a mysterious young woman named Marlene walks out of a rainstorm and into their lives.

      Fiction/Literature/978-0-307-27648-3

      TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANG

      To his pursuers, Ned Kelly is nothing but a monstrous criminal, a thief, and a murderer. To his own people, the lowly class of ordinary Australians, the bushranger is a hero, defying the authority of the English to direct their lives. Indentured by his bootlegger mother to a famous horse thief, Ned saw his first prison cell at fifteen and by the age of twenty-six had become the most wanted man in the wild colony of Victoria. Here is a classic outlaw tale, made alive by the skill of a great novelist.

     


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