William’s parents had lived long enough to enjoy his success, and they’d finally become proud of him; his father would tell his Carolina students, at great length, all about his sons’ careers in the theater. After the Longs died, within months of each other, they were buried in separate states, “so they can finally calm down,” William said. William then assumed the Long family tradition of good works; he was using his now substantial income to revitalize a crumbling North Carolina town, where he’s already built a school and a clinic. And every year, near the farm where his father was raised, William now hosts a birthday celebration in his father’s honor, with picnics and hayrides and fireworks. And much like his mother, William pursues the preservation of his ancestors’ various homesteads. “For better or for worse,” he’s admitted, “I am my parents.”
Mr. James had died a few years back, and Michael Neighbor had vanished; I’d wondered if a missing hustler’s face should appear on the side of a carton of cigarettes. Then he phoned from a Kentucky jail, looking for bail money. William was sympathetic but strict, and asked why Michael had been arrested. Michael explained that “I only shot that dude because he stabbed me first,” a story with a certain logic, so William wired him some cash, and we’re all still waiting for Michael to turn up, either back in town or on Court TV.
William had moved out of the Chelsea Hotel and he was now living in a brownstone. I asked him if he ever missed the Chelsea, and he said, “Oh, yes, of course. Although maybe not the cockroaches. But I got to meet Mr. James and so many wonderful people, and we had all those parties. I mean, I wasn’t even sure if I belonged in New York, or if I belonged anywhere, but I knew that I belonged at the Chelsea. It was just what I needed.”
Selah.
About the Author
PAUL RUDNICK is a celebrated playwright, screenwriter, and novelist. His plays include I Hate Hamlet, Jeffrey, The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told, and Valhalla, and he wrote the screenplays for the movies In & Out and Addams Family Values. He is also a frequent contributor to the New Yorker. Born in Piscataway, New Jersey, he now lives in New York City.
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Also by Paul Rudnick
NOVELS
Social Disease
I’ll Take It
PLAYS
I Hate Hamlet
The New Century
Valhalla
The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told
Jeffrey
ESSAYS
If You Ask Me (as Libby Gelman-Waxner)
Credits
Jacket design by Chip Kidd
Jacket art by Geoff Spear
Copyright
I SHUDDER. Copyright © 2009 by Paul Rudnick. The essay “I Hit Hamlet” is reproduced with permission of The New Yorker. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Adobe Digital Edition August 2009 ISBN 978-0-06-195957-8
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Table of Contents
Author’s Note
The Sisters
Lordy
I Shudder:
Hewen and Schifty
Sixty Seconds
Good Enough to Eat
Enter Trembling
In Pieces
I Hit Hamlet
Life and Death and New Jersey
At the Chelsea Hotel
About the Author
Other Books by Paul Rudnick
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
Also by Paul Rudnick
Table of Contents
Author’s Note
The Sisters
Lordy
I Shudder:
Hewen and Schifty
Sixty Seconds
Good Enough to Eat
Enter Trembling
In Pieces
I Hit Hamlet
Life and Death and New Jersey
At the Chelsea Hotel
About the Author
Other Books by Paul Rudnick
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
Also by Paul Rudnick