wrong with her – what defect
drove her to me –
And when we walk the streets
of this city – forget and touch
or hold hands and the people
stare, glare, frown, & taunt
at those queers –
I remember –
Every word taught to me
Every word said to me
Every deed done to me
& then i hate –
i look at my lover
& for an instant – doubt –
Then/ i hold her hand tighter
And i can hear my mother cry.
Lord, what kind of child is this.
Cop-out
(To My Mother)
“i like your friends.
they’re real people.
not phony – like your
sisters’ friends.”
Marie Cooks
All of these
real people –
are real,
live in the
flesh
dykes –
& all the boyfriends
that they have
are a part of my creativity.
All of these real people
are real –
& i can only tell you
real live in the flesh –
lies –
For Willyce
When i make love to you
i try
with each stroke of my tongue
to say i love you
to tease i love you
to hammer i love you
to melt i love you
& your sounds drift down
oh god!
oh jesus!
and i think –
here it is, some dude’s
getting credit for what
a woman
has done,
again.
Best Friends
(for Whitey)
So how come
we can’t touch
when we hurt most?
Can only
sense &
hurl ourselves
against forces
& each other
& laugh away
our agony
tomorrow –
as drunk
yesterdays.
Pit Stop
A pit is a covered hole
used to trap wild animals.
a pit is an abyss.
a pit is the ground floor
of a theater,
especially the part
at the rear.
a pit is a coward’s suicide.
a hearty drink to anything –
Let us drink to your new lover
Let us drink to your lover – gone
Let us drink to my lover
Let us drink to my lover – gone
Hey let’s drink to the good people
Let’s drink to the nearest holiday
Let’s drink to our ability to drink.
A pit is a covered hole
used by wild animals.
it’s hard to withdraw the fangs, now
in public places
the anger spills over
to be mopped away, later
too much drink
slow fang withdrawal
our animalism is showing
a bad image –
Let’s drink to a bad image
Let’s drink to a covered pit
& happy animals
& withdrawn fangs.
a pit is an abyss.
Let’s drink to my shame
a hustle
a grand hustle
i love you, so
i won’t call you fool
Let’s have another drink
you love me
you won’t walk away from me.
Let’s have another drink
to our hustle
let’s hustle another drink
& drink
to our ability to hustle.
Let’s have a drink to our shame.
Let’s have a drink
to drink
a pit is the ground floor
of a theater,
especially the part
at the rear.
It was a good show last night
full of venom
i thought for sure she would hit her
& did you see that woman fall off her stool?
yes indeed a grand show
everybody was
& it ended safely –
How’s your head this morning dearie?
Let’s drink to a good show
Let’s drink to the rear of the theater.
It’s hard to get hit with a bottle here.
Just to watch the show.
Let’s drink to a ground floor.
Has anyone ever priced the
balcony?
a pit is a coward’s suicide.
what do you mean kill yourself?
that’s a bummer – makes me sad.
Let’s have another drink.
yes, i’ve gained weight –
it’s the beer you know.
cold – yes
caught a lot of colds –
just need to take more vitamin C
Let’s have a hot toddy for my cold.
Wow that’s too bad – overdose huh
won’t touch the stuff –
if anything kills me
it will be the booze, ha ha.
Let’s have a drink to her & her drug
she was a good kid
One of these days i’ll have a check-up
getting winded too easily – getting old.
Let’s have another drink.
i can’t imagine anyone committing suicide.
the mechanics are too slow here.
the tires should be on –
the gas in.
what’s the matter?
you want to cost us the race?
Oh – one more drink
Let’s drink to the race.
let’s drink to the pit crew.
Let’s drink,
let’s drink
let us drink
let us drink
drink
drink
excuse me friends,
i must go now
i cannot afford to lose
this race.
i cannot afford to die,
in this place
Give strong drink unto him that is ready to
perish, and wine unto those that be of
heavy hearts. Let him drink and forget his
poverty, and remember his misery no more.
Proverbs 31: 6-7
When i drink
i scream
i fight
i cry
i don’t
do these things
when i’m sober
so far,
my friends
think the
solution
to my being
a problem
is for me
to stop
drinking.
For the Straight Folks Who Don’t Mind Gays But Wish They Weren’t So BLATANT
you know some people
got a lot of nerve.
sometimes, i don’t believe
the things i see and hear.
Have you met the woman
who’s shocked by 2 women kissing
& in the same breath,
tells you that she’s pregnant?
BUT GAYS SHOULDN’T BE BLATANT.
Or this straight couple
sits next to you in a movie
& you can’t hear the dialogue
Cause of the sound effects.
BUT GAYS SHOULDN’T BE BLATANT.
And the woman in your office
Spends the entire lunch hour
talking about her new bikini drawers
& how much her husband likes them.
BUT GAYS SHO
ULDN’T BE BLATANT.
Or the “hip” chick in your class,
rattling a mile a minute –
while you’re trying to get stoned
in the john
about the camping trip she took
with her musician boyfriend.
BUT GAYS SHOULDN’T BE BLATANT.
You go in a public bathroom
and all over the walls
there’s John loves Mary,
Janice digs Richard,
Pepe loves Delores, etc. etc.
BUT GAYS SHOULDN’T BE BLATANT.
Or you go to an amusement park
& there’s a tunnel of love
& pictures of straights
painted on the front
& grinning couples
coming in and out.
BUT GAYS SHOULDN’T BE BLATANT.
Fact is, blatant heterosexuals
are all over the place.
Supermarkets, movies, on your job,
in church, in books, on television
every day and night, every place –
even in gay bars.
& they want gay men & women
to go hide in the closets –
So to you straight folks
i say – Sure, i’ll go
if you go too,
but i’m polite
so – after you.
My Lady Ain’t No Lady
my lady ain’t no lady
she doesn’t flow into a room –
she enters & her presence is felt.
she doesn’t sit small –
she takes her space.
she doesn’t partake of meals –
she eats – replenishes herself
my lady ain’t no lady –
she has been known
to speak in a loud voice,
to pick her nose,
stumble on a sidewalk,
swear at her cats,
swear at me,
scream obscenities at men,
paint rooms,
repair houses,
tote garbage,
play basketball,
& numerous other
un ladylike things.
my lady is definitely no lady
which is fine with me,
cause i ain’t no gentleman.
Non-monogamy Is A Pain in the Butt
I have a lover
who has a lover
who has a lover
now, ain’t that hot.
So one day
i say, hey
why don’t you stay?
she said, tonight
i’d rather not.
My lover and me
decided to be
two, not four or three
surely you see,
but thanks a lot.
I have a lover
who has a lover
who has a lover
now that’s a dumb spot.
But it’s okay
tomorrow we’ll play
be loving and gay
maybe stroll by the bay
& take pictures of yachts.
So don’t laugh, he hee
at my lovers and me
what a strange place to be
For you can’t foresee
what’s to be your lot.
Maybe one day
you will say
with hair turning gray
and heart heavy as clay
lying alone on a cot.
I have a lover
who has a lover
who has a lover
now ain’t that hot.
LOVE POEMS
love
& friendship
are words of
people
telling
people
trust is
a word
for
bankers
me
& you
&
You
are
words
for
us.
Let me come to you naked
come without my masks
come dark
and lay beside you
Let me come to you old
come as a dying snail
come weak
and lay beside you
Let me come to you angry
come shaking with hate
come callused
and lay beside you
even more
Let me come to you strong
come sure and free
come powerful
and lay with you.
I have a solitary lover
she digs it
moves
alone well
moves alone
well
i have a solitary
lover
she digs it
she digs moving
digs
moving
alone
& when i barge
into her world
she
in spite of herself
graciously
comes
with me
calms with me
solitary
I Kumquat You
Some one said
to say
I love you –
is corny.
A Small Contradiction
It is politically incorrect
to demand monogamous
relationships –
It’s emotionally insecure
to seek
ownership of
another’s soul
or body &
damaging to one’s psyche
to restrict the giving and
taking of love.
Me, i am
totally opposed to
monogamous relationships
unless
I’m
in love.
i wish that i could hate you
when you brush against me in sleep
your breath slapping life in my innards
& i feel my body go soft in wanting you
i wish right then that i could hate you
i wish that i could hate you
when i sit not able to see you
cursing the something that came up
& know i will still come when you call –
i wish right then that i could hate you
i wish that i could hate you
when i hear you on the phone
planning time away from me
& wish it was me that you’re talking to
i wish right then i could hate you
I wish for enough anger to hate you
– My love for you keeps getting in my way.
Bitch!
i want to scream
I hate you
Fuck you for this pain
You used my guts
& now you stand here
Write my pain off
an unworkable experience
Bitch!
i want to scream –
& the words –
– unreal
from my mouth
i love you –
i hope you’ll be happy.
Sitting here,
listening to you
make music.
i realized
the many years
we
have known each other
is
one month.
so instead
of running upstairs
& sticking my tongue
in your ear
i’ll give you
this.
Both gestures
mean
the same.
Woman, i love you.
If it were possible
to place you in my brain,
to let you roam
around in and out
my thought waves –
you would never
ha
ve to ask –
why do you love me?
This morning as you slept,
I wanted to kiss you awake –
say “i love you” til your brain
smiled and nodded “yes”
this woman does love me.
Each day the list grows –
filled with the things that are you
things that make my heart jump –
Yet, words would sound strange;
become corny in utterance.
Now, each morning when i wake
i don’t look out my window