epidurals 37
extracurricular activities 174
Ferrari, Laurence 236
Fischler, Claude 256
food cravings, pregnancy 34
foreign, being 200–3
framework (cadre) 86, 106–7, 262, 279–82, 287, 290–1
France and America (differences)
child development 100
children 75, 85
children’s health 149
‘Croissant’ story 38–40
eating 3, 242–4
women 231
French language 186
French mothers
appearance/behaviour 145, 176
guilt 178–9
housework issues 233–6
independent identities 158–61
work 164–5, 166–7
French parents
attitudes of 6, 8
basic principles 7
child development 101
concern for children 4
fathers 235
self-control for children 76
see also authority; French mothers
friends 18, 143–4, 318
frustration, coping with 66, 77, 89–94
fun 76
gâteau au yaourt (yogurt cake) 80, 96–7
Génération Dolto 111
glossary 325–8
Goutard, Audrey 192, 306
goûter (afternoon snack) 80–1
Le Grand Journal 162–4
gratification, delaying 72–4
greeting 188–93
les gros yeux (big eyes) 284–5
Guiliano, Mireille 35, 156
guilt 177–9
happiness 90, 94
healthcare systems 36
helicopter parenting 4
holiday camps 299
hot chocolate 266–7
housework 233
hyper-parenting 4
infant mortality 32
kindergarchy 4
la Fressange, Inès de 180–1
Lareau, Annette 170
Leersynder, Hélène de 53, 61, 66–7, 228
let-him-be principle 175
limits 85, 86, 88
see also authority
‘magic’ words 188
Marbeau, Jean-Baptiste-Firmin 122
Marcelli, Daniel 289–91, 292
marital satisfaction 221–2
‘marshmallow test’ 73–4
Masson, Estelle 256
maternelle see école maternelle
meals 81–2, 248, 255–7, 263–5, 281
see also eating
Merle, Sandra 248, 249, 250, 251
Merryman, Ashley 312
Message 35–6, 146
Mischel, Walter 72–4, 84
Mogel, Wendy 300
Mother and Infant Protection service (PMI) 125, 150–1
mothers see Anglophone parents; French mothers; French parents
narrated play 168–9, 170
natural childbirth 37
naughtiness, small acts of (bêtises) 197, 287
nights see sleep
n’importe quoi (whatever) 85, 86, 87
no, saying 270–1, 295
nurseries, America 140
nurseries, France see crèches
nursery schools (école maternelle) 183–7
Ollivier, Debra 234
overweight children 244
Pailhas, Géraldine 160
parents see Anglophone parents; French parents
parisienne 17
patience 76–7, 84, 134–5
pausing 56–9, 61, 68
perineal re-education 224–6
physical aggression 288
Piaget, Jean 100
playing
alone 83
narrated 168–9, 170
pleasure 29, 105
Pleux, Didier 90
PMI (Protection Maternelle et Infantile) 125, 150–1
praise 309–14
pregnancy 25, 28–35
privacy 66–7
Protection Maternelle et Infantile (PMI) 125, 150–1
public services 8
pushy-parent syndrome 4
rational beings, children 111–19
rhythm 52, 56, 61, 71, 94
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques 101, 106, 295
sage (wise and calm) 76, 109, 315
saying no 270–1, 295
self-control 76, 109
self-reliance 66
self-soothing 56
sensitivity 84, 140–1
sex, during pregnancy 25, 30
sleep
Anglophone parents 45–6, 47, 54, 61
bedtime 288–9
disturbed 45–8
French children 3, 49–52
pausing 56–9, 61, 68
rhythm 52, 56, 61
sleep cycles 57–8, 60
sleep studies 62–4
sleep deprivation 46
sleep training 48
social codes 187–93
spanking 294–5
Spock, Benjamin 114
Steingarten, Jeffrey 252–3
strictness 286–7
sweets 259–61
swimming 98
tantrums 290
telling on someone 306
Thompson, Caroline 93
vegetables 245–6
waiting 77–8
calm attitude 75
eating 72
frustration 66, 77, 89–94
patience 76–7, 84, 134–5
pausing 56–9, 61, 68
practising 78–83
Warner, Judith 4
weight
after pregnancy 152–7
during pregnancy 32–4
overweight children 244
whatever (n’importe quoi) 85, 86, 87
whims (caprices) 91
words, ‘magic’ 188
work 164–5, 166–7
work–life balance 179
yogurt cake (gâteau au yaourt) 96–7
About the Author
Pamela Druckerman is a freelance journalist commenting on lifestyle issues married to English football writer. They live in Paris and have three young children. Apart from using her own first-hand observation of her French friends and neighbours for this new book, she has interviewed scores of French mothers, teachers and child experts.
TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS
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First published in Great Britain
in 2012 by Doubleday
an imprint of Transworld Publishers
Copyright © Pamela Druckerman 2012
Pamela Druckerman has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
This book is a work of non-fiction based on the experiences and recollections of the author. In some cases names of people and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of others. The author has stated to the publishers that, except in such minor respects, the contents of this book are true.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Version 1.0 Epub ISBN 9781448127153
ISBN 9780385617611
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