chosen the gray silk for it complemented her coloring, displayed her figure to
its best, but at the same time indulged masculine interest.
That she had chosen this dress with a man in mind, when a month ago she
would have refused to wear it on principle of its low bust, told her how much
she had changed. For the second time that night, she felt nauseous! She had
never considered herself to be a paragon of virtue, but… this was just
ridiculous.
She had simply answered the gentleman with a slight nod and had then
allowed herself to be whisked away by another man and to another dance.
Her reputation was such that a large percentage of the eyes in the crowd
were continuously upon her as she danced. In that regard, Lily could
understand why Anna believed her to be untouchable. But she wasn't. To be
the constant sinecure of all eyes provided her with relative security but as
the evening progressed, and she had failed to meet with her blackmailer,
rather than feel relieved, she felt worried to the bone. But, at the same time,
neither did she wish to seek him out. Au contraire!
Perhaps, it was fate that ultimately decided for her. Having imbibed far too
much punch, just before the clocks struck twelve, Lily found herself hurrying
to the ladies area. A footman guided her along a tucked away corridor and
left her at its door. Moments later, when she exited it and once more
traversed its length, she heard the sibilant whisper and knew that she had
been caught. That the moment she had been avoiding for the entire night
had arrived.
Lily did not welcome it. As soon as her ears processed that spitting hiss, she
shuddered with distaste.
“You have danced me along a merry chase this evening, ma'am, for that I
must commend you, and now to business. It does not do to avoid me, my
lady. I shall always find you. It would do you well to always remember that.”
Nerves assailed her, as did the shakes. She felt almost as though she could
collapse upon the gleaming parquet floor! "Why are you doing this? Why?
What have I ever done to you? In fact, do not answer that. I have done
naught to hurt you. Naught!" she spat, her voice coming out strong at first
and then petering out weakly as emotion rushed through her.
The man snorted under his breath and his impatience was quite evident as
he laughed harshly. “My reasons are my own, and none of your business,
my lady.” This was said with great scorn. “All that you need to know is that
your mother's life is in danger if you do not do as you are told. But then,
that is something of which you are fully aware. And I have to once more
commend you on your talents. At the last ball, you certainly managed to get
under the Earl's skin, did you not?”
“I did nothing of the sort!” she retorted indignantly. “I merely danced with
him! He discarded me like an unwanted present as soon as the music came
to an end!”
“I think you'll find that you did, my dear. Or is that a touch of a bruised ego
I hear? Does the lady dislike the fact that her charms failed upon so
handsome a fellow?”
“I am not your dear!” Lily spat.
“I see that the pretty butterfly has a sting!”
“I do, indeed. Perhaps, it would do you well to remember that! And no, my
ego does not come into this. If it did, then I should inform my uncle of this
sorry escapade!”
“Now, that, I do not believe, my lady.”
“What do you want of me?” she spat, her voice filled with frustration and
almost as soon as the question had escaped her mouth, she wished she
could withhold it!
Fate, however, was never so kind.
“From your talents at Lady Rutherford's ball, I would say that you have
learnt what a seduction entails . . . ?”
“Yes, I have had to abase myself before my Abigail. How dare you do this to
me.”
There was a low chuckling sound, and Lily wished at that moment that she
were a man and that she had attended Gentleman Jackson's boxing club as
had her brother, Devlin. How she wished she could pummel him into the
ground and terrify him as he had her. How she wished that that were
possible!
“I dare, because I have the power. You have realized, and I want an answer,
what a seduction entails?”
“I know that it entails the complete destruction and ruination of both my
reputation and my honor!”
Again that sound of laughter came from the shadows which he inhabited and
fury rattled through her. Her fear had dissipated now, as had her anxiety.
She merely wished that this interview between them were over and that she
was no longer in his toxic presence.
“Good, good. It seems your Abigail has been most informative. It is a good
thing, is it not, that you value your mother's life above your reputation?!”
She seethed inwardly at his retort and clenched her fists to physically
restrain herself from responding, for there was no need to respond. He
already knew her answer. And now that the time had come, Lily ceased to
worry about the future. The future could take care of itself. It was the
present that counted. Her life would not be over because of this misfortune,
she now realized. There were many girls out there who had been
compromised and who were no longer pure. She would simply have to . . .
explain to her future husband were she to decide to marry. Explain what . . .
she did not know.
Lily tried not to think about it. She also tried to divert her thoughts from the
fact that this man, this pig, would forever have this information over her and
would forever be able to use it against her. She shuddered at the thought.
"It is indeed good fortune for you that I value my mother's life and that I
love her. God truthfully smiles upon you, for was her state of mind not so
frail, I would have ignored your ridiculous threats and simply confronted her
with this farce. But, she is not as strong as she ought to be since my father's
death. It would seem ergo that God does not smile on the righteous," she
murmured quietly.
He hissed and grabbed her by the upper arm. As his fingers tightened about
her and she felt the tips of the digits sink into her tender flesh, she cried out
with genuine pain. Her arm stung from those pressure points and shards of
agony sliced along her forearm and shoulder.
“How dare you!” she spat and tried to pull away but ceased any attempts,
when he refused to release her.
“I dare, because I am in control. Now listen to me and stop your backchat.”
He paused and sucked in an angry breath. “Tonight, when the clock strikes
at half past three, a shrouded carriage shall be waiting for you at the corner
of your street. Within it is a key. That key will gain you entrance into the
Earl's residence.”
"Who are you? How can you have a key to another man's home in your
possession?” she hissed, surprised at the blackmailer's audacity in
possessing something so private.
“That is for me to know and for you to never find out, my dear.”
“How on earth, am I supposed to slip out of my
aunt and uncle's house
without causing a stir?”
“That is your concern and not mine. I am sure they sleep heavily after such
a party as this one.”
“Perhaps, but they are not the problem. It’s the servants who will more than
likely capture me.”
He snorted. “Capture you? I should rephrase that were I you! What will they
do? You are their mistress. Not the other way around.”
Nervously, Lily lifted her free hand to her throat and tightened her fingers
about it. Her grasp caused her pain but it was pain that she needed to keep
her grounded, to remind her that this was not just some sordid nightmare,
but real life. She gulped and felt the ball of tears that had gathered at the
back of her mouth attempt to choke her. This entire situation seemed
completely surreal and how she wished it was. How she wished that it was
indeed a nightmare. That she would be able to wake up at this moment, and
realize that it was all make-believe.
"And once I have the key?” she whispered as she sucked in a deep breath.
If he heard her tear-laden voice, he made no mention of it. But then, she
expected no less of a heartless brute such as this man here.
“Must I spell it all out for you?” he asked impatiently.
“I'm afraid so, sir. Before I met you, I was naught but a well-reared lady.
You are the first to sully my good nature!”
“A prize indeed,” he retorted scornfully. “Anyhow, once you have opened the
door to the Earl's residence, there shall be a manservant waiting inside for
you. He will guide you to the room in which the Earl is . . . relaxing. And
thereafter, what you do is up to you. You can enjoy it. You can hate every
moment of it. The choice is yours. However, I have two requirements. He
must enjoy you and secondly, he must break your maidenhead.”
Lily felt most disturbed by his explicitness but, what more could one expect
from a barbarian such as this pig of a blackmailer? Lily closed her eyes at
the term, ' break your maidenhead.' How was any woman supposed to enjoy
a man's attentions, if he had to break something in the process? Feeling her
lip curl with distaste, she attempted to forcibly stop her train of thought. But
to no avail. His words had swiftly informed her that the little she knew of
seduction would be quite inadequate for the evening she had ahead of her.
"You swine!” she hissed.
Suddenly, his hand released its grip on her arm and as she was freed from
his hold, Lily swayed on her feet as she attempted to regain control of her
body. As she did, Lily heard his low toned laughter fade away as he too
blended into the darkness and left her alone in the shadowed corridor to
contemplate his orders and how she would go about obeying them.
****
With her heart pumping like a piston, Lily descended the darkened staircase
of her aunt and uncle's house and felt uncomfortably like a thief stealing
through the night. Each step that she took was hesitant for the hallway was
pitch black and she couldn't see a damned thing! The remaining staff on
duty when they had returned from the soiree had only just gone to bed, for
she had listened for their trudging steps as they had risen to their quarters.
This fact combined with her anxiety and nervousness had forced her to
decide against using a candle to aid her in her exploits and so the possibility
of falling down the steps was probable. Her hand shook as she gripped the
banister and her heart ceased to pump at all, instead it seemed to take
residence in her throat, as the clock struck at half past the hour.
She was late.
Instantly, terror flooded her nervous system. Would the carriage wait?
Would it simply ride off into the night without her?
Logic told her to stop being foolish. However, she was not feeling rational or
logical. The clarity of mind that had been her companion when talking to the
blackmailer had disappeared. She felt very young at that moment. Almost
like a child and she wished that she could run to her mother and beg for
help. But, she could not. It was her turn to be the protector, and protect her
mother Lily would.
The thought fired her courage and she managed to reach the entrance hall
of the London mansion without damage to herself or the property. Gripping
the banister all the while, Lily closed her eyes and sought help from her
memory. In the dark, the entrance hall appeared to be completely different,
almost alien. It was only as she traversed the path to the kitchens in her
mind that she was able to physically walk that same route.
The first ten steps were quite simple, however, by the next ten she had
almost walked into a console table and only by the grace of God, had she
managed to resettle the overflowing vase of flowers that sat upon its
surface! Finally she reached the door that led downstairs and another set of
stairs lay before her. Only this time, Lily had no idea of how they twisted
and turned.
As soon as her foot was resting upon the first tread, she knew that this
would be more difficult than earlier. The steps were narrow and rickety and
as she moved, and her weight was displaced upon the wooden tread, they
squeaked loudly. By the second step, she had ceased to fear the seduction
that rested before her, Lily felt quite certain that a tumble down these steps
It was then that the idea came to her.
She could recall a younger cousin descending the stairs on his bottom, when
he had been naught but a toddler. Deciding to do the same, she awkwardly
rested her behind on the narrow planks and managed to enter the depths of
the servants' quarters.
This area was an easy part of the house in which to travel. She stood at the
foot of the stairs and as she looked down, there were four doorless jambs.
The part in which she stood at this moment in time, was obviously a scullery
for a faint light shone through the mullioned window which was close to the
ceiling and above a large sink. About which, were myriad plates and dishes.
She walked through the first doorway and realized it was the kitchen. The
next heralded the dining room, which contained a large table, odd sets of
chairs- this she could ascertain from their shadows, and a fireplace, whose
hearth still glowed from the dying embers of a fire. The last room was quite
obviously a salon. Again, there were a number of chairs and pride of place,
beside another gently glowing fireplace, was an armchair and a rocking
chair. Cook and Rodgers, the butler would take their rest in those particular
seats!
The kitchen and salon had very little natural light for there were no windows.
But the dining room had a relatively large one and she stole to that opening
and as quietly as possible, and damning each loud squeak that escaped from
the hinges, Lily managed to lift it to an adequate height.
Huffing for her breath, Lily pushed her way out of the house and almost fell
to the ground with a bump! She had been too hasty and only instinct had
had her throwing out her hands to catch her fall. While her
palms might be
grazed, at least she wasn't lying comatose upon the cellar ground!
Rolling her eyes at the thought, Lily jumped up and run up the ten or so
stairs that led to the street. It was mostly dark and quite difficult to see, but
at the end of the street, she could see a shadowed box and she knew that
that was the carriage meant for her.
Swiftly, Lily ran to it and so suddenly that she almost shrieked, a footman
appeared out of nowhere and opened the door. With his help, she entered
the carriage and as soon as the doors were once more closed, the driver set
off and drove her into the London night and an uncertain future.
Chapter Five
Battling her nerves, Lily forced herself to relax. It would do no good were
she to expire of apoplexy before she even reached the Earl's home!
Where once, her wry humor would have found amusement in that thought,
now she felt merely glum. And more panic.
Never in her life had she felt so torn. So torn between what was right and
what was wrong. For in these circumstances, was the delineating line not
blurry? Was it not impossible to differentiate between what was right and
wrong?
She closed her eyes at the thought and sat back with a faint jolt against the
seat. Lily gulped as her mind began to wander down paths she did not wish
to traverse and she opened her eyes to dispel the imagery that overcame
her. A small candle provided faint relief from the overwhelming darkness of
the carriage but she could easily have done without it at all. Instead, she
ignored the faint light and sank into the enveloping darkness that cushioned
her in its welcoming bosom and provided her with escape. Her papa had
once told her when she was a little girl, to close her eyes and count to ten if
she was ever frightened and that when she reopened her eyes, the world
would be a much better place.
Even now, knowing that those trite words had been solely to comfort a small
girl, she took solace in her father's dictate and counted slowly to ten.
When she reopened her eyes, while the world was still as cruel as ever, her
franticness had dissipated some and she no longer felt as though she were
about to swoon! Which, Lily thought, was something at least!
Knowing that she had to be strong, that she was doing this for her mother's