Tom houses shouldn’t have names – it’s stupid
Gerry ofmdfm
Rosemary just call it the assembly
Gerry i like that
Rosemary ard-oifig
Maggie stops Tom repeating Rosemary with a look.
Gerry where do you live – the assembly
Tom nice ring to it
Maggie cherry hill – i’m going to pretend it’s called that anyway
Gerry the assembly on the hill – couldn’t do any worse than the one we have
Tom no – houses down in the estate would have good names i’d say
Gerry orange grove
Maggie very good
Gerry orange parade
Tom that would be a street
Maggie i don’t think that estate was meant to be like that
Tom be like what – a kip
Rosemary it’s not a kip
Tom it’s a kip
Maggie it wasn’t meant to be just all the one side
Gerry somebody must’ve decided something
Maggie if it was being built at the time of the good friday agreement i don’t see how they thought it was a good idea not to make it mixed
Tom that’s what’s wrong with the working class – they don’t like mixed areas – that’s what’s ruined this place – wasn’t like that before
Rosemary i agree with that – we were sitting on our patio looking at the building site – we were saying – how brilliant it would be to live overlooking a truly mixed estate – how that in itself promotes mixed education and eventually that spreads throughout society
Maggie priests – there’ll be no mixed education system while they’re around – men
Gerry nuns Rosemary nuns might as well be men
Maggie priests didn’t have anything to do with that estate – all it takes is for someone to say – i don’t want to live beside that family – i don’t want to do that – i don’t want to do this – so instead of forcing people together – forcing people to live together – the politicians take the easy way out – right live with your own – there you go
Gerry we should’ve protested – placards on the patio
Maggie that’s what’s wrong – we don’t protest enough – don’t shout enough
Tom what were we going to do – put a big banner across the back of the house – only people who think like us – we don’t mind if they have slightly less money and drink cider instead of wine
Maggie you know i’m right
Rosemary you are right
Gerry you are right
Tom you are right – if right was a person it would be you
Maggie oh piss off – hope they burn your outhouse to the ground
Gerry so do i – could we build a house on that – a proper house
Tom i enquired about that years ago – they won’t give you planning permission
Maggie something to do with living on the bend of a main road
Tom access – easy access or safe access – something like that
Gerry you enquired about building a house in my garden
Tom yes – we were thinking of going back to the good old days when you could burn catholics out and take their houses – i was thinking about a house at the bottom of our garden
Gerry so just a patio then
Maggie protestants were burnt out as well
Rosemary shut up
A moment.
we’re just fixing the roof
Silence.
Tom the wine’s nice
Rosemary shipping direct
Maggie i use them
Rosemary there was a deal – fifty-seven pounds a case
Maggie it’s lovely – shipping direct are very knowledgeable – they really know what they’re doing – i’m going to use them all the time now
Tom we’re on wine every night now
Maggie just a glass or two
Tom a bottle and a half
Rosemary he’d drink that on his own
Gerry you need a nightcap
Rosemary you’d drink it out of a nightcap
Gerry why is it women can drink what they want and it’s fine but men are all pissheads
Maggie because men are all pissheads
Rosemary you see – everyone knows – it’s a fact
Tom this is the raw material we have to work with
Maggie best thing ever happened to you – only for me you’d be more of a pisshead then you already are
Tom i count my blessings dearest
Gerry young love – there’s nothing like it
Tom go on say it – say it – and – this – is
Gerry nothing like it
A cheer.
there’s some activity down there – the matches are at the ready – the officials are in place and we’re just waiting on the referee’s whistle
Tom something fascinating about fire
Gerry false alarm – barbecue
Maggie any word from maeve
Rosemary she’s in bolivia now
Maggie i’d be worried sick
Rosemary i am but what can you do
Gerry i don’t want the kids here – better off elsewhere – different life – where’s your keith – leeds doing law – better off for it – what would he want to be back here for
Tom exactly – say hello now and again on the phone – make sure they’re alright – see if they need a few quid – no need to be hanging round here
Maggie you miss them though
Rosemary i talk to maive on skype
Maggie it’s brilliant
Gerry another thing too – i don’t want them to be made feel guilty for not coming back here and trying to make this a better place – i want them to make somewhere else a better place – or better still go to a place where they don’t have to make it better because it’s already good enough
Tom if you’re in belfast for a weekend it’s meant to be good
Gerry let them come home for a weekend then
Rosemary i’d love to have gone away travelling
Gerry we’ve been on holiday in spain or thereabouts every year for the last twenty years
Rosemary i mean when i was young – on my own
Maggie where would you have gone
Rosemary don’t know – a few places – vietnam – russia – nepal – i always liked the idea of cuba
Gerry all poor places
Rosemary for the experience of it
Gerry aye – for the experience of it – couldn’t see you in a tent in nepal somehow
Rosemary not now – then – not now
Maggie i’ve always wanted to go to israel
Gerry israel
Maggie for the history of it – see it for myself
Tom any type of travelling is good – that’s what’s wrong with people here they don’t travel enough – even if you’re on a package holiday or something – take a walk down to the local shops
Gerry is that why you speak irish
Tom i’m making an effort
Gerry you are tom – you’re making an effort
Tom mhuin do bhean a lán dom
Gerry is that right – very good – i’ll have to think about that and decide what action to take
Tom what
Gerry what – i’ve been taking irish classes – did rosemary not tell you
Rosemary níor inis – amadán
A tiny moment.
Gerry got ya – had you worried there – cracked your wee code
Tom no code to crack gerry – just speaking another language that’s all
Gerry what you say the last time – what was it
Tom that i was making an effort and sometimes it was difficult
Maggie they say the older you get the harder it is to learn a language
Gerry fuck other languages – although in saying that i think if you live in another country it should be compulsory to learn the language of that country – there’s nothing worse than foreigners speak
ing english that you can’t understand – you have to keep saying i don’t understand – they think you’re being shitty with them – you can’t say that though because it’s racist – even though it’s common sense
Tom there’s no common sense any more
Rosemary people should always be respectful of where they live and abide by the rules of that country – if you don’t want to do that you shouldn’t go there
Tom is that not common sense – but no – this is going to sound racist – but that doesn’t mean it is racist – in some city in england – birmingham maybe – there was a big billboard advertising women’s thongs
Rosemary as you do
Gerry you have to advertise them to sell them
Rosemary thongs – i can tell you one thing for sure it wasn’t a woman that invented them
Maggie when they were in i liked them – they’re not in now
Tom can’t remember you wearing them
Maggie either you’ve a bad memory or you weren’t there when i had them on
Rosemary now you’re talking
Tom they were on the billboard – so there was a picture of four women – you couldn’t see their faces – wearing different coloured thongs – and underneath it said thongs for the memories – so – it’s meant to be funny – the billboard was beside a mosque – there were complaints made that it was offensive to those attending the mosque – both men and women – so it had to be taken down – it wasn’t meant to be offensive it was just there to sell something – we are a western capitalist country – that’s what we do and whoever lives here needs to understand that
Gerry we don’t live in england by the way
Tom aye but it’s the same – a few glasses of wine and he’s all we don’t live in england – western capitalist country – it could happen here just as easy – there’s muslims popping up everywhere
Maggie that’s true
Gerry i see smoke
Tom smoke
Gerry this needs to be marked – we’ll hum and dance
Tom hum to what
Gerry if you leave me now by chicago
Tom in the spirit of the good friday agreement we’ll swap partners
Gerry girls
Maggie right right
Gerry starts humming the tune. They stand up and move towards their dancing partners – slowly dancing all the while. They dance – it is a mixture of humming and a few lines of the song. They are all out of tune. They dance for as long as they imagine the song lasts.
Rosemary will i change the music – get the dancing going
Tom yes
Maggie later
Rosemary it’s not the right bonfire
Gerry what way not right
Rosemary i think that’s just one for the kids
Tom the kids
Rosemary it’s just a wee one – look – it must be a new thing
They look.
Gerry i was ready to go there – fuck that
They sit. Silence.
Rosemary it’s brilliant sitting here and looking over the entire city – few people get a chance to do that
Maggie i used to bring the kids out at night and make them stand there and look – i used to say to them – this is where you’re from – this is your city
Rosemary it’s beautiful
Gerry the lovely belfast
Tom it’s strange isn’t it – those kids down there thinking setting fire to something is fun
Rosemary all kids think setting fire to something is fun
Gerry true – any bonfire – it doesn’t matter what side or what it’s pretending to celebrate – you shouldn’t bring your kids like
Tom that’s right – you should always want something different for your kids – it’s like the travel thing – you want them here but they’re better off away
Maggie you can’t blame kids for standing round a bonfire
Gerry it’s a family thing – they’re all down there
Maggie if you were brought up like that you’d be down there
Gerry that’s the point – it’s the way kids are brought up – it’s the parents – it’s always the parents
Rosemary a friend of mine is a schoolteacher – different part of belfast – it’s the same though – nightmare – she says parent-teacher meetings are a joke – she’s sitting all dressed to the nines – the other side of the table two scrubbers in tracksuits – why’s our jimmy – or whatever – not doing well at school – she has to pretend that everyone’s trying – and wee jimmy this and wee jimmy that – the real truth is they sit in the house all day smoking joints – and then she puts toothpaste on his dick – because apparently everyone is doing these days – what chance has wee jimmy got
Tom toothpaste on the dick is it
Gerry how bored do you need to get – what’s going on in your head to think – you know that stuff we use to clean our teeth – what about you put some on my dick and then we’ll have a ride and see how that goes
Maggie i thought it was for blowjobs
Gerry right – hadn’t thought of that
Maggie why would you
Rosemary no i think it’s for intercourse
Gerry intercourse – intercourse – what’s that
Tom intercourse – never heard of it
Rosemary suirí – ag deanamh suirí
Rosemary it’s difficult enough to get you to put it on your teeth
Tom teeth – toothpaste – that’s the old way – the working class – all that shit – it is my right to put toothpaste on my dick – and if i want my child to spend his time dicking up the toothpaste that’s his right
Gerry would anyone like to partake in a massive spliff of skunk
Maggie a massive spliff of skunk
Gerry that’s what they’re at during the day – all they do is sit around and smoke blow
Tom that sounds like a good way to spend your day actually
Gerry that’s tomorrow sorted then
Tom we could go on the march – go to the field – make a picnic of it
Gerry march march march march march
Rosemary my dad’s friend – a catholic – used to go to the field
Maggie you could do things like that years ago
Rosemary he worked in the fruit market – sold flowers at it – why would people be buying flowers at the field
Tom don’t know – never been – flowers doesn’t seem right
Gerry orange lilies
Tom orange lilies
Rosemary made a fortune
Gerry we’re sitting here watching this and these pictures go out all over the world
Rosemary pictures of us – should’ve done my hair
Maggie imagine people were watching us doing this – if they didn’t hear what we were saying they wouldn’t know what we were doing
Gerry stupid – idiotic – pictures of people burning stuff – they go out all over the world – that’s who the rest of the world think we are – bloody third-world image
Maggie we need the spotlight – all got too used to it
Rosemary that’s the problem isn’t it – once the spotlight is on you it’s difficult to move away from it – politicians here still think we’re on the world stage
Gerry the one i hate is politicians from here going to the white house for saint patrick’s day – nonsense – i don’t care about saint patrick’s day right – but – if you’re going to celebrate saint patrick’s day you’d think you’d celebrate it in his country – but no – have to go to america to celebrate it – you know what that’s all about
Maggie saying you’ve been to the white house
Gerry correct – it’s also a working-class thing – it’s about getting to the white house – come from nothing now i’m in the white house – as if a black president cared about saint patrick’s day
Maggie that
’s right
Rosemary not high on his agenda
Tom irish vote in america – right – what do those shit-kickers eat and drink – bog water and turf
Rosemary before i did my law degree i went to america for a month – do you have tv in ireland – do you have fish in ireland – jesus christ – a civil war – this guy actually said to me – civil war – that must be great – and now we run over there because they dye the rivers green – useless bloody place
Gerry america – always makes me think that we can’t look after our own affairs
Maggie we can’t
Tom if it was solely left to business it would be sorted out – business people – like the mafia – know all this world terrorism stuff – get the mafia to sort that out – over and done within days
Gerry just sitting here talking and drinking things are sorted out within seconds – just like that – a click of the fingers – mafia – terrorism – over – education and alcohol – there isn’t a problem in the world that can’t be sorted out with those two things – terrorism – mafia – done – sorted
Maggie it’s a serious thing though
Gerry what is
Maggie terrorism
Tom that’s why the mob are the boys to sort it out
Maggie innocent people die – it’s not a joke
Tom what are you doing – we’re not – it’s just talk
Maggie i’m just saying
Tom is that right – were you in the middle of it all
Maggie because you’re not in the middle of something doesn’t mean you can’t have an opinion about it – or it doesn’t affect you
Gerry narrative – isn’t that the in word at the moment – narrative – any type of debate about anything – any moment in history – anything – what you have to do is control the narrative
Rosemary srian ar an scéal
Gerry what
Rosemary control the narrative
Tom it’s right though
Maggie it is right yes – i have a narrative tom – i have a story to be listened to
Rosemary we all do – but the working class has the narrative here – i know it’s treated like a crime to say that – but that doesn’t make it any less true
Tom narrative – narrative – narrative – we all have a narrative
Rosemary nach dóigh libh go bhfuil smacht againn
Tom yes – didn’t i just say so