DEDICATION
For Jay, BJ, Jesse, Angele, and Brianna—my Windsor crew
CONTENTS
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
Chapter 96
Chapter 97
Chapter 98
Chapter 99
Chapter 100
Chapter 101
Chapter 102
Chapter 103
Chapter 104
Chapter 105
Chapter 106
Chapter 107
Chapter 108
Chapter 109
Chapter 110
Chapter 111
Chapter 112
Chapter 113
Chapter 114
Chapter 115
Chapter 116
Chapter 117
Chapter 118
Chapter 120
Chapter 121
Chapter 122
Chapter 123
Chapter 124
Chapter 125
Chapter 126
Chapter 127
Chapter 128
Chapter 129
Chapter 130
Chapter 131
Chapter 132
Chapter 133
Chapter 134
Chapter 135
Chapter 136
Chapter 137
Chapter 138
Chapter 139
Chapter 140
Chapter 141
Chapter 142
Chapter 143
Chapter 144
Chapter 145
Chapter 146
Chapter 147
Chapter 148
Chapter 149
Chapter 150
Chapter 151
Chapter 152
Chapter 153
Chapter 154
Chapter 155
Chapter 156
Chapter 157
Chapter 158
Chapter 159
Chapter 160
Chapter 161
Chapter 162
Chapter 163
Chapter 164
Chapter 165
Chapter 166
Chapter 167
Chapter 168
Chapter 169
Chapter 170
Chapter 171
Chapter 172
Chapter 173
Chapter 174
Chapter 175
Chapter 176
Chapter 177
Chapter 178
Chapter 179
Chapter 180
Chapter 181
Chapter 182
Chapter 183
Chapter 184
Chapter 185
Chapter 186
Chapter 187
Chapter 188
Chapter 189
Chapter 190
Chapter 191
Chapter 192
Chapter 193
Chapter 194
Chapter 195
Chapter 196
Chapter 197
Chapter 198
Chapter 199
Chapter 200
Chapter 201
Chapter 202
Chapter 203
Chapter 204
Chapter 205
Chapter 206
Chapter 207
Chapter 208
Chapter 209
Chapter 210
Chapter 211
Chapter 212
Chapter 213
Chapter 214
Chapter 215
Chapter 216
Chapter 217
Chapter 218
Chapter 219
Chapter 220
Chapter 221
Chapter 222
Chapter 223
Chapter 224
Chapter 225
Chapter 226
Chapter 227
Chapter 228
Chapter 229
Chapter 230
Chapter 231
Chapter 232
Chapter 233
Chapter 234
Chapter 235
Chapter 236
Chapter 237
Chapter 238
Chapter 239
Chapter 240
Chapter 241
Chapter 242
Chapter 243
Chapter 244
Chapter 245
Chapter 246
Chapter 247
Chapter 248
Chapter 249
Chapter 250
Chapter 251
Chapter 252
Chapter 253
Chapter 254
Chapter 255
Chapter 256
Chapter 257
Chapter 258
Chapter 259
Chapter 260
Chapter 261
Chapter 262
Chapter 263
Chapter 264
Chapter 265
Chapter 266
Chapter 267
Chapter 268
Chapter 269
Chapter 270
Chapter 271
Chapter 272
Chapter 273
Chapter 274
Chapter 275
Chapter 276
Chapter 277
Chapter 278
C
hapter 279
Chapter 280
Chapter 281
Chapter 282
Chapter 283
Chapter 284
Chapter 285
Chapter 286
Chapter 287
Chapter 288
Chapter 289
Chapter 290
Chapter 291
Chapter 292
Chapter 293
Chapter 294
Chapter 295
Chapter 296
Chapter 297
Chapter 298
Chapter 299
Chapter 300
Chapter 301
Chapter 302
Chapter 303
Chapter 304
Chapter 305
Chapter 306
Chapter 307
Chapter 308
Chapter 309
Chapter 310
Chapter 311
Chapter 312
Chapter 313
Chapter 314
Chapter 315
Chapter 316
Chapter 317
Chapter 318
Chapter 319
Chapter 320
Chapter 321
Chapter 322
Chapter 323
Chapter 324
Chapter 325
Chapter 326
Chapter 327
Chapter 328
Chapter 329
Chapter 330
Chapter 331
Chapter 332
Chapter 333
Chapter 334
Chapter 335
Chapter 336
Chapter 337
Chapter 338
Chapter 339
Chapter 340
Chapter 341
Chapter 342
Chapter 343
Chapter 344
Chapter 345
Chapter 346
Chapter 347
Chapter 348
Chapter 349
Chapter 350
Chapter 351
Chapter 352
Chapter 353
Chapter 354
Chapter 355
Chapter 356
Chapter 357
Chapter 358
Chapter 359
Chapter 360
Chapter 361
Chapter 362
Chapter 363
Chapter 364
Chapter 365
Chapter 366
Chapter 367
Chapter 368
Chapter 369
Chapter 370
Chapter 371
Acknowledgments
Back Ad
About the Author
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
1.
Adam Higgs is a loser. That’s the first thing you need to know.
2.
It’s junior year.
The first day of school. Our boy Adam, five foot—I dunno—six? A hundred and forty pounds. Messy brown hair and a zit on his chin.
First day at Nixon Collegiate, doesn’t know a soul.
3.
That pretty girl standing beside Adam? The blonde in the tight shirt?
That’s Steph, Adam’s sister. She’s a freshman. By the end of the day, she’ll have about a hundred new Facebook friends.
By the end of the day, Rob Thigpen will offer her a ride home in his daddy’s mint twin-turbocharged BMW 335i.
Rob’s a junior. He’s in Adam’s English class. He won’t be offering Adam a ride home anytime in this lifetime.
4.
Nixon Collegiate.
You don’t know it, but you know it.
You’ve never been there, but you know exactly the kind of school I’m talking about. Sunny. Clean. Kind of looks like a country club, with a big green lawn in front. Parking lot’s so full of late-model imports, they should valet park.
And the girls, man.
Our boy Adam Higgs dawdles as he crosses the front lawn toward Nixon’s doors. Takes in the view like a starving man at a Vegas buffet. It’s still summertime pretty much, even this far north. That means it’s still halter-top season.
Girls everywhere.
Blondes, brunettes, redheads. Tall and small. Short skirts and long legs and tight designer T-shirts. They’re camped out on the lawn with their noses in their iPhones; they’re pulling into the parking lot in convertible Benzes; they’re watching a group of tanned, muscular boys throw a football around.
Steph’s watching the boys too.
One of those boys is Rob Thigpen. He’s surfer-preppy cool, shaggy blond hair and a pastel polo shirt. He pauses the football game to watch Steph cross the lawn.
Adam’s too busy taking in the girls to notice. But the girls aren’t returning the favor.
Adam’s small. He’s unremarkable. His clothes are off-brand, Walmart.
Girls can smell “loser” a mile away.
Adam’s a loser.
He’s also a virgin.
Neither is likely to change anytime soon, not here at Nixon.
5.
The second thing you need to know is: Adam Higgs has a history.
This is his first day at Nixon. Freshman year, sophomore year, he went to Riverside, across town. Kind of an average school. Bricks and mortar. Not so many iPhones. No BMWs.
He was a loser at Riverside, too—nearly flunked out.
(Not so much because he’s stupid. It’s more, you know, who cares?)
Adam’s dad is a decent guy. He worked at the Chrysler plant until the Chrysler plant shut down. Now he sits at home and cashes his measly settlement checks. He has a bad back anyway. Most days, he doesn’t get off the couch.
Some days, he doesn’t bother with pants.
Adam’s mom is an administrative assistant. She works three times harder than her boss and makes about 10 percent of his pay. She doesn’t complain. Adam’s dad does. Adam’s dad has time to complain. It’s his luxury. Adam’s mom needs the job, though. It’s not like her husband’s settlement is paying the rent.
6.
Third thing: Adam has an older brother too.
Adam’s brother’s name is Sam. Sam Higgs. He’s twenty-two years old and he works at the Tim Hortons doughnut shop across from city hall. He lives in an apartment a few blocks from the doughnut shop. Somebody from the hospital got Sam his job.
(Sam’s obsessed with being independent.)
7.
Fourth: Adam’s brother is in a wheelchair.
He wasn’t always.
Adam’s brother was a really good hockey player when he was a teenager, assistant captain of the Riverside school team. Some people thought he could maybe turn pro.
Then this asshole from Nixon hit him into the boards from behind. Sam fell face-first, fucked up his spine.
So much for hockey.
So much for walking.
Sam’s in a wheelchair now.
8.
Adam goes to visit Sam a couple times a week.
Sometimes they watch movies—Scarface is their favorite.
Sometimes, hockey games—
(You would think Sam would kind of have a hate-on for hockey, seeing as it pretty much ruined his life, but not so much. Sam’s still the biggest Red Wings fan Adam knows.)
—and sometimes Adam takes Sam down to the river and wheels him along the trail and they look at pretty girls and watch the freighters drift by,
but mostly,
Adam and Sam hang out in Sam’s room in Sam’s apartment, watching funny videos on YouTube and playing PlayStation, and Adam listens to Sam talk about his glory days in high school.
9.
See, Sam Higgs never had a problem in high school.
(Until the accident.)
He was taller than Adam.
Better-looking.
Athletic.
Sam got his looks from the same lottery-ticket gene pool as Steph, but Adam?
Adam, not so much.
Adam looks a lot like his dad.
&n
bsp; And these days, Adam’s dad looks a lot like,
well,
a loser.
10.
Sam Higgs could have been a god in high school.
He could have been the man.
He was well on his way to owning Riverside High.
Sam made the hockey team freshman year.
Sam had scouts watching him as a sophomore.
Sam was dating junior cheerleaders. Going to the right parties.
Sam Higgs was groomed for success.
(Until, well, you know.)
The thing is, if everything had gone the way it was supposed to, Adam is sure that not only would Sam’s life be different—his life would be different too, guaranteed. When your older brother’s a hockey star, you have it made. You don’t even have to try. You’re just a god by association.
But Adam’s not a god.
Sam was never the man.
Nothing turned out the way it was supposed to.
11.
Now Sam lives in a shitty little apartment. He’s still good-looking, and he’s funny, and he plays wheelchair basketball, but he’s not the man anymore. He’s just some guy in a wheelchair.
Sam doesn’t tell Adam how unhappy he is, how
cheated
robbed
frustrated
he feels. He doesn’t tell Adam how sad he gets when he thinks about the accident and everything that came after it, when he thinks about what a waste his life is, but Adam knows.
Adam can see it.
Adam feels pretty fucking sad about it himself.
12.
Anyway, that’s the home life. A mom who busts her ass and a dad who kinda sits there. An older brother who can’t walk anymore. And Steph.
Steph is pretty. She’s fun. She plays volleyball and served on the activities committee at her middle school. Steph has nearly seven hundred Facebook friends.
Adam has one real-life friend.
Not enough to justify a Facebook account.
Adam’s one friend is a guy named Brian O’Donnell. He’s a chubby stoner back at Riverside and even his friendship status, most days, is uncertain.
Mostly, Brian’s just a dude. He shares his joints with Adam when they cut class. Sometimes they shoot hoops after school. Maybe they eat lunch together. It’s not like they’re hanging out on weekends, though. No slumber parties. No Xbox. No chasing girls.
They’re not BFFs.
Anyway, Brian goes to Riverside, halfway across town. And Adam, by virtue of strange and unhappy circumstance, finds himself at Nixon.
Brian’s not around.
Adam’s alone.
Nobody at Nixon even knows who he is.
13.
Nixon is weird. Adam figures this out within a couple of days.
Mostly, it’s rich kids.
There’s Rob Thigpen and his daddy’s BMW. There’s Paul Nolan, whose parents are doctors. He anchors the swim team.
(Nixon Swim: pride of the school. Undefeated at Regionals the past twenty years. Paul Nolan: Nixon swim god.)