So to this. The photo of their football, the last thing left from the memory box. Curling on its bit of toothpaste and Mouse wants it with him, wherever they’re off to next, so much. He hovers his fingers over it, can hardly bear to touch, hovers, can’t quite abandon it.
No. I’ll leave it. For you. For us.
These things are happening. CAN ANYONE HEAR US?
Love does not dominate; it cultivates.
152
The Last
Reality now, this irreversibility. You know what is wanted, you have made your choice; you have to open your heart, surrender, to move from this limbo into the light. And so this. Your final testament, your conclusion, for you are the last one left with the key to unlock Project Indigo. You understand what is required of you now. You will see your children again if you do what is best for the research, you will see your husband again if you do what is best for the research, you will leave this room if you do what is best for the research. They have given you a sheaf of paper and a pen, and this testimony you have sewn them and sewn them in response is what is needed, required, now. They will get nothing else. You have learned the rightful resonances of the word sacrifice. You have learned a lot. All their roaring words, yes, in all their books; but now your roaring words. This manuscript, this final testament, will find its way to a good place, you are sure of that. You have made your choice and you are strong with it. It is time to go. You are not afraid. Your family will be alright, your children are in safe hands. This room is lumen now. What you believe in is all you have left.
Nothing evolves us like love.
Chapter Lessons: Sources
Lesson 1: Hafiz (fourteenth-century Persian poet)
2: The Bible
3: The Koran
4: The Bible
5: Robert Burton
6: Samuel Johnson
7: The Bible
8: The Koran
9: Gotama Buddha
10: The Bible
11: Hafiz
12: The Koran
13: The Koran
14: The Koran
15: Hafiz
16: Fiona Omeenyo (Australian Aboriginal artist)
17: The Bible
18: Buddha
19: Confucianist Scriptures: The Shih King
20: Buddha
21: Hafiz
22: Aristotle
23: The Bible
24: The Koran
25: Buddha
26: Dalai Lama
27: Buddha
28: Confucianist Scriptures: Lamentation
29: Buddha
30: The Koran
31: The Bible
32: Hafiz
33: Hafiz
34: The Bible
35: The Bible
36: The Bible
37: The Bible
38: Oliver Cromwell
39: The Koran
40: Buddha
41: The Bible
42: The Bible
43: The Koran
44: The Bible
46: Buddha
47: Hafiz
48: Hafiz
49: Dalai Lama
50: The Rig Veda Samhita
51: Hafiz
52: The Bible
53: Hafiz
54: Hafiz
55: Iris Murdoch
56: Hafiz
57: The Koran
58: Buddha
59: Hafiz
60: The Bible
61: Hafiz
62: The Bible
63: Buddha
64: The Bible
65: Buddha
66: Buddha
67: C.S. Lewis
68: Confucianist Scriptures: The Li Ki
69: The Bible
70: Buddha
71: The Koran
72: The Bible
73: Hafiz
74: Buddha
75: The Bible
76: The Bible
77: The Bible
78: Hafiz
79: Buddha
80: The Koran
81: The Bible
82: Buddha
83: Hafiz
84: The Koran
85: Patrick White
86: The Bible
87: Dalai Lama
88: Ella Wheeler Wilcox
89: Buddha
90: The Koran
91: The Koran
92: Hafiz
93: The Bible
94: The Bible
95: The Bible
96: Cicero
97: The Bible
99: The Bible
100: Benjamin Disraeli
101: Hafiz
102: Matthew Arnold
103: The Bible
104: The Bible
105: The Bible
106: Sri Ramakrishna
107: The Bible
108: The Koran
109: The Bible
110: The Bible
111: Robert Browning
112: Buddha
113: Buddha
114: The Bible
115: The Bible
116: The Koran
117: Dalai Lama
118: The Bible
119: The Koran
120: Oscar Wilde
121: Buddha
122: Hafiz
123: R.S. Thomas
124: The Bible
125: The Bible
126: The Bible
127: The Bible
128: Hafiz
129: The Koran
130: The Bible
131: The Bible
132: The Bible
133: The Koran
134: Buddha
135: Buddha
136: The Bible
137: The Bible
138: The Bible
139: The Bible
140: The Bible
141: Buddha
142: The Bible
143: Peter De Vries
144: Hafiz
145: Buddha
146: Dalai Lama
147: Buddha
148: The Bible
149: The Bible
150: Philip Larkin
152: Hafiz
Also by Nikki Gemmell
Shiver
Cleave
Lovesong
The Bride Stripped Bare
Pleasure: An Almanac for the Heart
Copyright
First published in Great Britain in 2009 by
Fourth Estate
An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers
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London W6 8JB
www.4thestate.co.uk
Copyright © Nikki Gemmell 2009
1
The right of Nikki Gemmell to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
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EPub Edition © 2009 ISBN: 9780007335718
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