juggle. A wave of panic washed over him.
Time slowed to a crawl as SpongeBob braced
himself for another failure. Then, out of the
corner of his eye, SpongeBob noticed a familiar
object sailing toward him.
“My spatula!” he said wonderingly. “How did
you get here?” And then, in a flash, SpongeBob
knew what to do. “Just imagine that each ball is
a delicious Krabby Patty,”
he told himself. “You can do it, SpongeBob!”
With lightning speed,
SpongeBob caught the spatula
and began to flip the balls,
one after the other.
“I’m doing it! I’m juggling!”
he thought proudly.
It was a beautiful sight!
The crowd went wild.
When the circus was over, the clownfish
gathered around SpongeBob.
“You’re a great clown, SpongeBob,” Al said.
“But he’s an even better fry cook,” said a
familiar voice.
Mr. Krabs ran up. “I couldn’t leave
without talking to you, SpongeBob. I need
you at the Krusty Krab,” he said. “Nobody makes
Krabby Patties like you do. Please come back to
me, laddy!”
SpongeBob looked at his spatula. Then
he looked at his new friends. “You’re
right, Mr. Krabs,” he finally said. “Let’s all
go to the Krusty Krab!”
Chapter 7
Krabby Patties
for Everyone!
Pearl was very relieved to see SpongeBob
back in his place at the stove. “Thank
goodness,” she said. “This greasy kitchen is no
place for a delicate girl like me.”
SpongeBob got right to work and made
Krabby Patties for everyone.
“It’s good to be back, my mouth-watering
mounds of fabulous flavor,” SpongeBob
lovingly told a plate of patties. “I promise never
to leave you again!”
Then someone yelled out,
“There is something wrong
with my Krabby Patty!”
It was the same cranky customer who didn’t
like his Krabby Patty before. He had his ruler
out again.
“This bun is too small,” he said. “It should
be—”
SPLAT! Al hit him with a pie in the face.
SPLASH! Shorty squirted him with water.
“Thanks, guys!” SpongeBob said.
“We’re clowns,” Al said, shrugging.
“That’s what we do best.”
SpongeBob smiled. “And I make
Krabby Patties,” he said. “That’s what I
do best. Right, Mr. Krabs?”
“Right!” said Mr. Krabs. “Now stop
clowning around and get back to work!”
by Kitty Fross
Illustrated by Gregg Schigiel
The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie was written by
Derek Drymon, Tim Hill, Steve Hillenburg,
Kent Osborne, Aaron Springer & Paul Tibbitt
Chapters
Chapter 1
A Tale of Two Heroes
Chapter 2
Evil Doings A-Brewing
Chapter 3
You Don’t Need a License
to Drive a Sandwich
Chapter 4
And the Award for “Most
Pointless Award” Goes To
Chapter 5
From Boys to Men (and Back Again)
Chapter 6
A Hero’s Not Just a Sandwich
A Tale of Two Heroes
“It’s showtime!” SpongeBob SquarePants
declared, as he strode into the Krusty Krab.
“Yay! I can’t wait for my part!” Patrick Star,
SpongeBob’s best friend, cheered.
“Yep, it’s a big night, Pat,” said SpongeBob,
nodding gravely. “Tonight we tell the world
about our Epic Man Quest.”
He walked over to the order microphone
and turned up the volume full blast.
“We’re thrilled that so many of you showed up
for our little presentation.”
“Presentation?” a fish asked. “I’m here for
the free food. Where’s
my Krabby Patty sample?”
Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob’s boss, leaned into
the microphone. “Coming right up, just as soon
as the show is over.”
“Okay! If we start our program now,”
SpongeBob said, “we should be ready to take
your questions in six or seven hours, tops.”
As several customers ran for the door,
Squidward Tentacles groaned. “Mr. Krabs,” he
whispered. “Why are you encouraging this?”
“Well, Mr. Squidward, the boys did save
me life,” Mr. Krabs replied. “Besides, this
audience is going to need plenty of food and
coffee to stay awake. With me special
dinner-theater rates, I’ll make a fortune!”
“Let us begin our story,” SpongeBob
said dramatically. “Patrick, please
distribute the handouts so that our
audience can follow along.”
SpongeBob peered intensely at the
audience, then shouted, “Lights! Cue
projector. Slide number one!”
Evil Doings A-Brewing
The room went dark. The projector
hummed to life. SpongeBob began to tell the
story of his great adventure:
Ever since I was a little spongelet,
I’ve known I was destined for glory. And then
one day, it seemed as if all my dreams were
coming true. After 374 consecutive Employee
of the Month awards, I was going to be made
manager of the brand-new Krusty Krab Two.
Or so I thought.
But
Mr. Krabs, in
his all-knowing
knowledgeness,
had other plans.
He wasn’t
looking for
childlike
enthusiasm, youthful energy, or
boyish good looks. He had his sights set on
maturity. And
so he gave the
promotion to
Squidward
instead.
Of course, I took the news with my usual grace.
SpongeBob flipped on the lights.
“While we were busy at the Goofy Goober, evil
doings were a-brewing at the Chum
Bucket. Please direct your attention to
the monitor now, for what I like to call Exhibit
A. Observe.”
A grainy image filled the TV screen and
Plankton’s voice boomed from the speakers:
“Time to put Plan Z into effect!”
SpongeBob nodded knowingly, “That’s right,
folks. Plankton was up to his old tricks. We
don’t know exactly what happened next, but we
have a pretty good idea. So we’ve created a little
reenactment to bring it all to life for you. Patrick,
if you will!”
Patrick stepped forward. “Hello. My name is
Plankton,” he read woodenly. “I have a plan to
rule the world. I will steal Neptune’s crown. I
will sell it to Shell City and frame Eugene Krabs.
Then the secret formula for the Krabby Patty
will be mine. I am an evil genius. Thank you.”
You Don’t Need a License
to Drive a Sandwich
“Oh my, folks! Didn’t that just give you goose
bumps?” SpongeBob squeaked into
the microphone.
Another group of fish hurried towards the
exit. Unaware, SpongeBob flipped the lights off
and continued:
King Neptune sure was mad when he discovered
his crown had been stolen. Truth is, King
Neptune is a little sensitive about his . . . ah . . .
thinning hair.
Neptune believed Plankton’s lie and thought
Mr. Krabs was the thief. So someone had to go to
Shell City and bring King Neptune’s crown back,
or Mr. Krabs was toast—burnt toast. Luckily, I
knew just the sponge for the job!
and back. Then my good buddy Pat offered to
join me, and he even bargained for time with
King Neptune. And wouldn’t you know, he got
old Neptune down from ten days to six!
King Neptune’s daughter, Mindy, warned us
about the crooks, killers, monsters, and the giant
Cyclops that stood between us and victory. She
told us about the poisonous gases in Shell City.
And she even gave us a magical bag of winds to
help us get back home with the crown.
It was going to be dangerous. It was going to
be scary. It was going to separate the men from
the boys. But Patrick and I were fearless. We
hopped in the Patty Wagon and headed for the
border.
Some people didn’t believe a couple of “kids”
like us would stand a chance in the big bad
world. But boy, did we prove
them wrong!
Sure, a big, tough dude stole our wheels.
And sure, Plankton sent a meanie hit man
guy named Dennis after us.
But luck was
still on our side.
We soon found
the Patty Wagon
parked outside
of this
picturesque
neighborhood
tavern.
Now all we had
to do was retrieve
our key. The
problem
was . . . how?
The locals
didn’t look
too friendly.
Well, you know how it is when you’ve got a
problem to solve, and a soap dispenser catches
your eye.
One bubble led to another, and before we
knew it, we had a full-blown bubble party on our
hands!
Turns out, the
locals didn’t really
care for bubbles.
There’s just no
pleasing some folks,
I guess.
It all worked out just fine, though. In all the
ruckus, Patrick managed to grab the key, and we
were back in business!
And the Award for
“Most Pointless Award”
Goes To . . .
Suddenly there came a
hoarse whisper from Patrick:
“SpongeBob, now? Is it time for
the award?”
“Well, OK, Pat,” SpongeBob
replied.
SpongeBob snapped on the lights, and
Patrick stepped up to the microphone. “Uhhhh,
I’m here to present a special award,” he said.
“The Coolest Future Monarch of the Sea
and Overall Hotty Award goes to—Princess
Mindy!”
There was a scattering of confused applause
as an image of King Neptune’s daughter
appeared on the monitor.
“Thank you, Patrick,” Mindy said. “I’m sorry
I can’t be there in person to accept this . . .
really unusual award, but thanks for saving the
world and everything. You guys are great!”
“Wooooh! You rock my world, Mindy!”
Patrick screamed at the top of his lungs.
But the monitor had already faded to static.
“Hey! What was the point of that?”
someone in the audience grumbled.
“I have no idea,” another fish replied,
“But if I don’t get my free Krabby Patty
soon, I’m out of here!”
Mr. Krabs bustled over to the microphone.
“I’ve got fresh coffee,” he announced. “Who’s
ready for a refill?”
A sea of hands shot up, and Mr. Krabs
eagerly began pouring. “That’ll be $9 each,” he
said cheerily.
From Boys to Men
(and Back Again)
SpongeBob stepped back up to the
microphone. “Now—back to our story. Hey,
you’re all following along in your handouts,
right?” A few fish riffled sullenly through their
paper packets. SpongeBob continued:
Mindy was right. The road to Shell City is
paved with dangers, like muscle-bound bar
bullies, sweet little old ice cream ladies who turn
into vicious predators, and some third, even
more dangerous thing that I can’t think of right
now.
We almost gave up hope when we got to
this deep, dark, dangerous, monster-infested trench.
But just when we were ready to turn around and
go back home like a couple of kids, Mindy showed
up and used her mermaid magic to give us the
courage of MEN!
With the power of our manly mustaches, we
were unstoppable. Giant crabs and hideous sea
monsters were no match for us!
Then on
the outskirts
of Shell City,
things got
really exciting.
First Dennis, the
hit man, found us
and ripped off our
mustaches.
And then just as
he was about
to stomp
us, he got
stomped
himself . . .
. . . by the
evil Cyclops!
Words can’t describe what happened then, which
is why I’ve asked Patrick to handle the next part
of the presentation.
Patrick stepped
forward. “OK, well,
this is us getting
snatched up by
the Cyclops,”
he explained.
“And this is us
waking up in a scary
poison-gas-filled
tank of death.”
Patrick flipped to a new page. “Now this is
the part where I defeat the Cyclops, and then
Mindy shows up and gives me her phone
number.”
“Patrick,” SpongeBob hissed. “That didn’t
happen!”
Patrick shrugged. “You tell your part your
way—I’ll tell my part mine.”
A Hero’s Not
Just a Sandwich
“Boys,” Mr. Krabs broke in. “Yer losing me
customers . . . I mean, yer audience. Maybe
you should skip to the end!”
“But this is the best part!” SpongeBob
gasped. “This is the part where we realized that
we’d actually made it to Shell City after all, and
then the sea creatures came back to life and
battled the evil Cyclops, and then we grabbed
Neptune’s crown and ran for the dock, where
we lost Mindy’s bag of winds . .
. ”
“I know, SpongeBob, but . . . ,” Mr. Krabs
interrupted.
“ . . . and then the friendly lifeguard gave
us a ride back to Bikini Bottom, and Dennis
reappeared but we fought him off and returned
the crown to Neptune only to
discover that Plankton had enslaved
everyone with his evil Chum Bucket helmets
and turned everyone against us . . . ,” the
unstoppable SpongeBob continued.
“ . . . And then we saved the sea with the
power of Rock ’n’ Roll, and Plankton went
to jail, and I got to be manager after all!”
SpongeBob concluded, finally stopping
to breathe.
“Yes, it’s a good story, laddy,” Mr. Krabs
said consolingly. “But sleeping customers are
bad for business. I think yer fans may be ready
for a little break.”