someone chimes in.
“You’ll make a big splash
tonight!” another kid laughs.
They’re getting me down in
the dumps. I have fair-weather
friends.
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I’m not ready for this!
I need six more years of
swimming lessons.
“And besides, Hubie, you’re
the original hunk!” a bunch of
kids yell.
That’s funny because I feel
more like the original junk.
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CHAPTER 9
IN THE HOT SEAT
I have a sinking feeling as
the carnival draws near. Mom
drives me to school in the van.
I’m taking 42 towels. I bought a
fluorescent bathing suit so the
rescue helicopter can spot me in
the water. And I have three sets
of water wings.
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We pull right up to the carnival.
I step out of the van and into a
row of lights. It’s like Academy
Award night. I slowly walk down
the aisle. All eyes are on me. I
come to our booth, which we
finally named, “The Big Dipper.”
I take off my bathrobe, put on
my three sets of water wings,
flex, and climb the ladder to the
chair. It’s high up here. I’m fair-
in-height.
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I can see over most of the
carnival.
Penny’s selling tickets like
crazy. Freddy’s eating pie. And
Randy’s counting jelly beans.
There are a lot of people in a
long line, looking up to see me
drown.
All my friends are at the front
of the line. Eric is the first to
try. He misses the mousetrap
completely.
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Derek and Doris get closer, but
I am still high and dry. Freddy
tries with blueberry pie all over
his face. He misses, too.
Then the rest of the third grade
takes a shot. I was smart to use
ping-pong balls.
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The tension mounts as ball
after ball bounces off the trap,
but each is too light to spring it.
I make it through the fourth and
fifth graders.
We’re making a fortune and
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CHAPTER 10
THE SLAM DUNK
Now the teachers start trying
to sink me. Miss La Note, my
music teacher, sings and misses.
Then Miss Swamp, my art
teacher, draws a blank when she
throws.
Even, Ms. Pluggins, the new
computer teacher, takes a shot
and short-circuits.
Finally, Mr. Bender buys a
chance. I think he remembered
that I was the guy who hit him
with the pie at the County Fair!
He misses, too. PHEW!
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I’m feeling really good. I’ve
beat the system. No one is in
line anymore. I do a little victory
dance on my chair.
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I have a big, dry smile. Just as I
am getting ready to climb down,
I see something moving by the
mousetrap.
Oh, no! A mouse!
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The little rodent puts one foot
on the trap and —WHAM! I’m in
the water, and so is the mouse!
He’s a pretty good swimmer.
The water is not so cold. In
applauds as the mouse and I swim
around.
We’re the hit of the school
carnival and even get our picture
taken for the paper. I hope we’re
on the front page. The headline
will probably read: big and little
dippers.
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Well, I continue with my
swimming lessons. Last Friday,
I did a cannonball off the diving
board. I haven’t seen the mouse
at the pool, though. I think he
went to the Mouse Olympics in
Mouse-cow. Hey, maybe one day
I’ll win a gold medal, too.
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As it turns out, Randy’s guess
was the closest to the number
of jelly beans and he won the
Rollerblades. Freddy won the
eating contest. He said it was as
easy as pie. And we ended up
raising enough money to get a
fairly well-known author to come
and visit our school.
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