Anneliese, Amy, and Jane. For real life.
And a special gratitude salute for my nonfictional hometown of “Nobbern,” always and forever framing my narrative.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
MICHAEL PERRY is a humorist, radio host, songwriter, and the New York Times bestselling author of several nonfiction books, including Visiting Tom and Population: 485. He lives in rural Wisconsin with his family and can be found online at www.sneezingcow.com.
Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.
ALSO BY MICHAEL PERRY
BOOKS
The Scavengers
From the Top: Brief Transmissions from “Tent Show Radio”
Visiting Tom: A Man, a Highway, and the Road to Roughneck Grace
Coop: A Year of Poultry, Pigs, and Parenting
Truck: A Love Story
Population: 485—Meeting Your Neighbors One Siren at a Time
Off Main Street: Barnstormers, Prophets & Gatemouth’s Gator
AUDIO
Never Stand Behind a Sneezing Cow
I Got It from the Cows
The Clodhopper Monologues
MUSIC
Headwinded
Tiny Pilot
Bootlegged at the Big Top
CREDITS
Cover design and illustration by Jarrod Taylor
COPYRIGHT
This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
THE JESUS COW. Copyright © 2015 by Michael Perry. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Lyrical quotation in chapter 29 excerpted from the poem “On Listening to the Two-Headed Lady Blow Her Horn,” from The Gospel of Barbecue by Honorée Fanonne Jeffers, the Kent State University Press. Copyright © 2000 by Honorée Fanonne Jeffers. Reprinted with permission.
“After the Fall” lyrics by Ray Wylie Hubbard (Snake Farm Publishing Administered by BMG/Chrysalis). Used with permission.
“There Are Some Days” (paraphrased) lyrics by Ray Wylie Hubbard (Snake Farm Publishing Administered by BMG/Chrysalis). Used with permission.
FIRST EDITION
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
EPub Edition May 2015 ISBN 9780062289995
15 16 17 18 19 OV/RRD 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
ABOUT THE PUBLISHER
Australia
HarperCollins Publishers Australia Pty. Ltd.
Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street
Sydney, NSW 2000, Australia
www.harpercollins.com.au
Canada
HarperCollins Canada
2 Bloor Street East - 20th Floor
Toronto, ON M4W 1A8, Canada
www.harpercollins.ca
New Zealand
HarperCollins Publishers New Zealand
Unit D1, 63 Apollo Drive
Rosedale 0632
Auckland, New Zealand
www.harpercollins.co.nz
United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF, UK
www.harpercollins.co.uk
United States
HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
195 Broadway
New York, NY 10007
www.harpercollins.com