The Radleys

  unblood

  an unconverted ordinary human being, who believes the existence of vampires is a fiction.

  unpire

  an unblood who happens to drink VB, thereby inducing in themselves temporary effects such as enhanced physical desires, a sudden recklessness of behavior, and a disproportionate sense of joy in being alive.

  UP Unnamed Predator

  police euphemism for blood-addict.

  UPU Unnamed Predator Unit

  although its headquarters are based in Manchester, this is a police unit operating nationwide and kept beyond the knowledge of the wider unblood population. Its noble aim is to limit the social y and moral y destructive activities of the vampire population.

  vampire/vampyre

  a romanticized standard term for a blood addict, whether practicing or not.

  VB

  vampire blood; as desirable to the vampire as human blood, although it preserves better, which is why human blood is never bottled for drinking purposes, but vampire blood is; abstainers must resist VB at al times, to keep living a safe life ful of decent and moral pursuits.

  VIB Room

  designated section of a nightclub where only known, practicing vampires are granted access.

  VIB stands for very important blood and is thought to refer either to the guests or their chosen victims. These zones of debauchery witness sickening amounts of blood drinking, from both unblood and VB sources.

  The Abstainer’s Handbook (second edition), pp. 230–33

  Acknowledgments

  There are no solo artists. Only bands.

  Infinite thanks to:

  Amber Qureshi, my bril iant American editor, and everyone at Free Press.

  Caradoc King and al at A P Watt.

  Francis Bickmore, Jamie Byng, Alfonso Cuarón, Tanya Seghatchian and the UK Film Council.

  And, on drums, Andrea Semple.

  About the Author

  Matt Haig was born in Sheffield in 1975 and grew up in Nottinghamshire. He has lived in London and Spain and now lives in North Yorkshire. His writing has frequently appeared in the UK

  press. He is the author of The Last Family in England, a UK best sel er narrated by a Labrador; The Dead Fathers Club, an update of Hamlet featuring an eleven-year-old boy; and The Possession of Mr. Cave, a horror story about an overprotective father. Al three are being developed for film, by Heyday/Film Four, Brad Pitt/Plan B, and Paral el Productions, respectively.

  He has also written two children’s novels, both critical y and commercial y successful. His website is www.matthaig.com.