The phone rings four times before there’s an answer.
“Hello?” Her voice sounds groggy. Did I dial the right number?
“Freya?” I ask.
“Yes? Is this a telemarketer? Because I don’t have any money to buy crap,” she croaks.
“No, this is Lucy. We spoke last night. And we also spoke on Wednesday at approximately 1:35 p.m. in the peer counseling clinic.”
“Yeah, sure I remember. What’s up Luce?”
“I was wondering if I could ask for your advice.”
“From your file at the clinic.”
“Oh.” Pause. “You went through my file?”
“It was necessary before your session. I have a very good memory.”
Another pause and then, “Okay, shoot.”
“You mentioned last night that I should form a friendly relationship with Jensen before propositioning him. I’ve thought over your advice and I think it’s reasonable. What is the most expeditious way to accomplish this?”
“Um. Well, you could do something neighborly, like invite him to a party.”
A party. I grimace before answering. “What if that’s not an option? What else?”
“Let’s see,” she says. There’s more rustling and movement on the line and then, “You could ask him for a cup of sugar or something. Don’t neighbors do that?”
“What would I use the sugar for?”
“Why does that matter? I dunno, to make cookies?”
I consider this. “I could make cookies. Then after I make them, I could bring him some. That’s neighborly, correct?”
“Sure.”
“Right,” she agrees.
“Thank you for your time,” I say, and hang up the phone.
***