And I can see him there, my little boy grown tall and lean, his wrists protruding a full three inches from his sleeves. I can feel his thrill at a solid hit, the sting of a little green ball in his side. And I see him take a small bite with his teeth. Then another. His stomach feels tight and hard as a fist. He drops down behind the wall and finishes the four in his pocket, spitting out the bits that won’t chew, then reaches for two more lying by his legs. A young man drops down beside him, soaked in sweat, laughing. “I pasted Wiley,” he says, grinning, his chest rising and falling, gulping air. “If he was a squirrel he’d be in a pot by now.”
Somewhere, once again, Longstreet nods. Pickett scribbles his note to his wife, then gives the order. It’s a little after three. The Union guns have fallen silent. The men stop, rise. Ranks form. The mile of open field is still with heat, the air almost white. The world pauses, holds. The order comes. The men step into the light.
• • •
All but one, pants around his ankles, shitting himself raw in the cornfield. All but one, retching little bits of apple like a demon, holding to the stalks that barely reach his head—unable to stand, much less walk—as the air explodes with the sound of eleven cannon and seventeen hundred rifles going off at one time and who, soiled and shamed, believing in his fifteen-year-old heart that he’ll be shot for a coward and a deserter, wipes himself as best he can, and then, not knowing what else to do, weeping with rage and frustration, crawls through the corn and into the woods and starts walking; walking until Gideon, saddling his mare one hot July morning, looks up the road and freezes, then slowly lays down the reins and begins to run in a way not fitting for a man of his age.
All but one, given back to me like a tidbit, like a bone, after all I’d lived and lost—“Here, take him, if you want him so badly, he’s yours …” And by God, I did.
Table of Contents
About the Author
Other Books by This Author
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Acknowledgments
Contents
Part One
Chapter I
Chapter II
Chapter IV
Chapter V
Chapter VI
Chapter VII
Chapter VIII
Chapter IX
Chapter X
Chapter XI
Chapter XII
Chapter XIII
Chapter XIV
Part Two
Chapter I
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter VI
Chapter VII
Part Three
Chapter I
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter V
Chapter VI
Chapter VII
Chapter VIII
Chapter IX
Chapter X
Chapter XI
Chapter XII
Part Four
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter V
Chapter VI
Chapter VII
Chapter VIII
Chapter IX
Chapter X
Chapter XI
Chapter XII
Chapter XIII