Aren’t you happy?
O just shut up”
Pain
This night
The hue, the dark
I do believe that I am the lowest
Of this race
Augment this body
With this face
I myself hate
Awaiting some vicious demise
Some awful fate
I live
I hate
To die
I wait
Apathy, yes
Hope?
Surely you jest.
“Isn’t it fascinating how we find ourselves falling back into old habits”
Distress
I feel myself sinking
This quicksand
I can feel it
Flowing into my esophagus
It is overpowering
What dire consequences!
I’m rescued
I’m grateful
But I feel myself going back.
It beckons to me
This quicksand
What dire consequences!
But yet
I jump right back in!
Rescue me
Please.
“As humans it seems we need to go through adversities, frustrations, etc.
To get better, to get stronger
Keyword: Through”
Within
When shall I give in
To thou, creature within?
To partake in thy thievery, thy lies
To meddle in thy sin?
To thou all my troubles tie
Hopes, joys, dreams gone awry.
What shall incur with innocence’s last breath?
Separate from me this bed, in which I lie.
I shall fight thee, creature within, to the death!
Finally justifying all the tears I have wept
O no! Easily thou will not win,
Forever I will sustain this struggle I have kept.
Die! Die! Creature within!
Remove thyself from beneath my skin
My history is now the past
Allow me my life, my freedom begin.
“It would be good if most people realize that
We don’t have a choice of the shell we are given at birth
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful
Don’t hate me because I’m not!”
Race
I peer into the black
It has nothing to offer me,
I am of no color, so I close my eyes
But it’s only the black I see.
I peer into the black
Scarred by years of intense envy
Scars, although shrouded by
Unnecessary shadows
Cry out “Heal me, Heal me’”
“Do not, under mask of bigotry
Attack me, conceal me!”
In the black I see me
And I lick my wounds.
I peer into the black and
Sharing its struggle against self-esteem
Sharing the burden
The pain
Not knowing whether to feel proud
Or ashamed.
I stare and
I feel
I laugh in its joy
I lament in its sorrow.
Its shade begins to envelope me
It’s marvelous tone, hue so right
But then
I stumble into the light . . .
. . . Don’t step on me because I’m not white!
“What do you do about that one that got away?
Ok, that’s enough about spilt milk . . .”
The Only One
You are
The only one left
Who can stir what emotion
Lies inside me.
You are
The only one who
Captivates the imagination
That my mind’s eyes see.
What am I
Supposed to do?
To impose my feelings on you!
I’ll just stay here
In my own private hell
Slowly becoming a cold
Emotionless shell
Everything heals with time?
I guess only time will tell.
Introspection
I see the real me sometimes when I look inside,
I have a problem when it and these other imposters collide.
Inside, deep inside . . .
“What kind of man was he?
Did he love his family?
Did he care for his friends?
Did he give his all in all his endeavors?
This will probably be the only time
What others think will matter to me”
Advent
In the advent of my possible death
And we are all bound to die,
I wound like to dispense of a terrible lie
I lacked strength
I was weak.
I’m so tired
Tired of trying
Slowly dying
Inside.
The failure
The deceitful demeanor
The lies I have to tell.
I can no longer distinguish what is true
Oh well!
We only live once
But what a way to live!
Aren’t you supposed to give of yourself
Until there’s nothing left to give?
And then receive your reward
Come on, take it like a man
But you won’t, will you
Coward!
“How can you love someone else
If you don’t love yourself?”
Esteem
Tell me again
Tell me you love me.
You sit back and judge me
Then you come close and indulge me.
This only serves to confuse me
You do not hesitate to abuse me.
With your words and your tortuous lies
You demon in your angel disguise!
Tell me again
Tell me you love me.
Say it once more, it might convince me
Which lost soul have you managed to fool since me?
Am I the one you’re trying to persuade?
Pretending to be savior, to be my aide?
Sometime soon I will be better and know what to do
I’ll develop the courage to stop listening to you.
“Be yourself”
Me
I am
Grateful
Thoughtful
Sensitive
Humorous
Encouraging
All because of
“Do unto others as you
Would have them do
Unto you”
“Regret: A terrible thing
I should have . . .
I could have . . .
Why didn’t I?”
CAT
It’s now over
I am certain
Now sure
Hell awaits me.
I have to do it
Not for me anymore
For them?
For the games I play?
No
For my cat that went astray.
“To develop friendship, you must first show your
self friendly
But not too friendly”
Eventually
I’m devious
Sometimes mischievous!
I do not dare
You’re unaware.
Sneaky was once used to describe
Silence was often prescribed.
With a smile, with a compliment—let it begin!
I wait patiently. I get under your skin.
Days, weeks, months or even years then
Finally getting to the end,
You get me as a good friend.
“I have forgiven
I just wish I could forget”
The Person I Knew
I want you to know my name
Know you’re not the one to blame
I forgive you anyway
Because my father would do the same.
For your narrow mindedness and bigotry
For the terrible way you treated me
For the thoughts in my head, may God forgive me!
After all, you’re blind, these things you don’t see.
I forgive you Mark Anthony McDonald
It’s all I can do
I will be praying too.
Praying for your salvation, may God have mercy on you.
“Life has an uncanny way of rewarding us in the present
From seeds we had sown in the past
Good or bad”
My Fire
Innocence denied from a soul lost
Still above the waves though thrown and tossed.
A heart more cold than winter’s coldest frost
The fire awaits, the fire awaits.
The truth in the eyes of the beholder is seldom true
The skeletons in your closet are speaking to you.
Eat this drink that, telling you what to do
The fire awaits!
The fire awaits, your flesh to burn.
Do not deny it, soon it will be your turn!
This life of yours is no longer your concern
The fire awaits.
But what’s that over the horizon I see?
A second, no, a third chance beckoning to me!
What do I do now, what will become of me?
“I want to be
All I was created to be
Better, smarter, wiser
Isn’t there a pill I can buy for that?
No? Oh well”
Average
What makes a person average?
Is it a lack of ambition?
Lack of a clear cut mission?
No real commitment to anything
No conviction?
I think not giving your all, in whichever endeavor
Reinforces a certain behavior.
Then one becomes average
Then begins the irreparable damage
But we don’t know, so we
Don’t care!
But I know too much already I fear.
Et Al
And elsewhere . . .
“Each of us deserves a second chance
Sometimes even a third”
Left, Right, Wrong?
A man left
With nothing to lose.
Left with no choices
From which to choose
A man right
After a life of knowing only wrong.
Right about the only thing
That might allow him to belong
He’s dead!
Inside, may as well be without!
He has nothing left
To care about.
Has nothing right
To be faithfully devout.
A prisoner in his own life,
All because of a wife
The source of his strife?
Should that man be left up
To his own ingenuity?
Would it be right to
Let him loose upon society?
How Can You, Mozart?
How can you, Mozart
With works worthy of praise
Be so childish in all your ways ?
Your passions, dedication
Towards music I see
But at what cost: your commerce
Your health, your humanity ?
O, how early you started
Indeed all too well
Of your life, young Mozart
There are wondrous stories to tell!
Concerto at age four
First opera at age twelve
Was not pride instilled within yourself?
So what about the quality of your life, Mozart
The nature, the principle, the mere essence?
But what IS quality?
Distinguishing characteristics, degree of excellence
The quality of your life, if one should ask
Is one of quite a low middle class
You could have lived better!
No avail
Only composing, writing
Your work must entail
You’re not even concerned
With bare necessities
Yet you drink much wine, frolic with women
Attend many parties
You love your work
Yes this I can see
But I think you should
Review your priorities!
How can you, Mozart
Make this clear to me
Your name is renowned
Yet a pauper you be?
Where is the love?
Where is the care?
Do you think this
To your family is fair?
O Mozart!
You work and you slave
All your life to music you gave!
For what?
To be buried in an unmarked grave!
But from all this at least one thing can be found
Your work, your music, is known the world around
So the quality of your life, Mozart?
Your life is sheer genius
Your life is art!
“Me, me, me!
Always look out for number one!
Right?
Wrong!”
What Would You Say
Tell me what you’d say
If on a particular day
I said I hated you.
Jump to a conclusion? You’d probably delay
Because you’d know I wasn’t that way
And what I said was not true.
ANYWAY . . .
Tell me what you’d say
If free drugs they gave away
COCAINE, crack, heroin even
On what foundation would society’s conscience lay
BUT THERE’S NO MORE CRIME MAN, hurray?
What new label would moral be given?
LABEL: IDIOCY
Solve society’s problems, I won’t even try
I have problems of my own to get me by
And this might seem cruel, thoughtless I know
But not lend a hand to someone who might even die!
Believing it’s their problem, none of my business—A LIE
I DON’T THINK SO!
BUT . . .
A lot of us this way we behave
For ourselves we work, we slave
And why not? Who’s gonna take care of No. 1 if not me?
But if just for a moment you stopped pursuing what you crave
And to someone less fortunate a gift of love, even life
you gave
You might enjoy that feeling—to know that YOU made a change—you’ll see
SO . . .
Tell me what you’d say
If from that selfish mentality I stay
And said I was willing to make a change?
I’m going to start right now, today
This voice deep inside me I’ll obey
In these acts of fulfillment, unselfishness I’ll engage
I don’t know what you’d say, but I’d say Good for you!
“Good friends are hard to find
Fight to keep them”
Ode
Imagine the way life is
With its twists and turns:
This road of life one must take
Some things stand fast—the ones you love
The friends you make.
You never know what’s around the next corner
Each bad experience you try to endure
All the good ones, like treasure
You secure.
Imagine the way life is
How intricate, how profound:
Just like a piece of fine china
Crashing to the ground.
The nature of life
Is so fragile, I’ve found
Snuffed out here
Created there
For those who take it for granted
Please beware!
Imagine the way life is
With its twists and turns
With all its losses
And happy returns.
It exists, we humans, to confound
Imagine the way life is
How intricate, how profound.
“A relationship is an exercise in give and take
Perfection is nonexistent
Love at first sight?—I wish”
Doubt
Love sometimes leaves a distaste,
In your mouth
In your heart.
It often seems like such a waste