to village.
We are a family of wanderers.
Every meal is a picnic of fresh bread,
apples, yogurt, and cheese.
I no longer feel sullen and sad.
On the road, I am free to be
child-hearted again, filled with wonder,
a daring explorer, unafraid of seeing
new places, unusual people,
strange customs,
odd ways. . . .
CAVE PAINTINGS
In Spain, we venture underground,
into the mystery of prehistoric art.
Bison, horses, human handprints.
Herds of wild feelings
long extinct.
The cavern walls are cool stone,
covered with earthy pigments
of red, brown, and yellow clay.
Shapes in the ancient stone
become the swollen bellies
and curved horns
of painted animals.
The herds seem to move,
rippling through time.
I begin to understand
that each time I scribble
a poem on my wall
at home, I am not really
alone.
Certain longings
are shared
by all.
Even cavemen.
Cavewomen.
Children.
Teens.
IMAGINARY HORSES
When we reach the wheat fields
of La Mancha—the part of Spain
where a storybook dreamer
imagined that he was a brave knight—
Dad becomes unusually playful,
bursting with delight
at the chance to experience
the land of Don Quixote,
the subject of so many
of his own wistful paintings.
Dad seizes a stick to use as a lance,
and places a bowl upside down
on his head to create a helmet
that gives him the courage
to attack a windmill, as he pretends
that the slowly spinning blades
are the enormous arms
of a monstrous
giant.
Watching an artist who believes
in the power of stories,
I find it easy
to see
the puffing breath
of a brave knight’s
invisible horse.
SECRET LANGUAGES
All over Spain, strangers speak to us
in Spanish, then whisper to one another
in forbidden dialects—Basque, Catalán,
and Gallego, all the banned tongues
of local provinces.
The words are illegal,
outlawed
by a dictator.
I notice the fearful way
Spaniards glance
at uniformed officers
Could they actually be arrested
just for whispering ordinary words?
I’ve never had to live in a place
where I would not be allowed to speak
all my opinions
openly.
Now I imagine how it must feel
to really need poetic metaphors,
instead of just enjoying
their simple beauty.
No wonder Abuelita always finds
such flowery ways of saying ugly things
in her carefully censored
airmail letters.
By now, I am old enough to understand
that the island’s revolution merely replaced
one tyranny with another.
Right wing or left wing, tyrants always
try to control communication.
They always
fail.
VILLAGE LIFE
After we visit many cities and see
each amazing art museum, we settle
for a month in a rented house
on a sunny hill, above a rocky beach.
When the village celebrates a festival,
young men let cows chase them
off the end of a pier.
Even though the cows
make the strong young men look silly,
laughter helps everyone feel
united.
When nomadic gitano/Gypsy caravans
pass across the land in horse-drawn wagons,
I feel like every creature on earth
just might be mysteriously linked,
as we wander from one place
to another, constantly learning
about one another’s ways.
UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS
Unable to swim skillfully, I watch Mad
and Dad as they have fun in the waves.
Why have they always been so brave
in daily life, while Mom is only courageous
in strange ways, and I am only bold
with words?
The villagers are friendly and talkative,
even though they complain to me
about the United States, asking why we
support their dictator, and why we
build US Air Force bases in Spain.
I don’t know how to answer questions
about governments.
Not mine.
Not theirs.
Certainly not Cuba’s.
All I know is that I’m grateful
for my two languages,
so that I can explain
that I can’t explain.
Speaking almost feels
like having
wings.
FINAL FLAMES
When a heat wave
brings a wildfire,
sweeping swiftly
down a hillside,
all the villagers
line up to pass
buckets of water
from hand to hand,
working together
to prevent
devastation.
It’s a sight I plan to remember,
this spontaneous unity
when faced
with disaster.
MY SECOND WING
Poetry feels like one wing
of my mind’s ability to travel
away from gloom.
Now, Spain has reminded me
that other journeys
are magical too.
I can love
many countries,
not just two.
Moving on after a month
in the village, we visit the houses
of famous artists in France and Italy,
where we see marble statues
and magnificent paintings.
But mixed with those adventures,
there is one stark moment
that stays with me—ghostly—
after we’re turned away
from the Swiss border
simply because
Mom’s passport is Cuban.
By the time we leave Europe,
I’m fourteen, with gold loops
in my ears, like the Gypsies,
and exotic stamps
all over my passport.
My passport.
The disturbing document
that specifically states
it cannot be used for travel
to Cuba.
HOPE
All I know about the future
is that it will be beautiful.
An almost-war
can’t last
forever.
Someday, surely I’ll be free
to return to the island of all my childhood
dreams.
Normal diplomatic relations.
An ordinary family—united.
Magical travel, back and forth.
It will happen.
When?
COLD WAR TIME LINE
The following list shows only a few of the
most easily understood events of a complex and perilous era when much of the world was divided into hostile regions.
1945
The United States destroys the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki with the world’s first military use of nuclear weapons.
After World War II, the Allies divide Germany into US and Russian–influenced zones of occupation.
1948
Communist takeover of Czechoslovakia launches a long series of Soviet military actions in Eastern European nations.
1949
Soviet Russia detonates its first nuclear weapons.
Communist revolution in China.
1950–1953
Korean War; Korea is divided into Communist and capitalist zones.
1954
US-armed overthrow of the democratically elected government in Guatemala launches a long series of American military actions in Latin American nations.
1956–1959
Revolution in Cuba.
1960
Cuba nationalizes oil refineries and many other American-owned businesses on the island; the United States restricts trade with Cuba; Cuba increases trade with the Soviet Union.
1961
US-trained Cuban exiles attack the island in the failed Bay of Pigs Invasion; Cuba’s government aligns with the Soviet Union; the United States breaks diplomatic relations with Cuba and restricts travel by American citizens.
The German Democractic Republic (Communist East Germany) government builds the Berlin Wall to stop its citizens from fleeing to US influenced West Germany.
1962
The “Cuban” Missile Crisis (known in Cuba as the October Crisis, and in Russia as the Caribbean Crisis) results when Russian nuclear weapons on the island are detected by US spy planes; the entire world hovers on the brink of all-out atomic war until the crisis is resolved through secret negotiations between US president Kennedy and Soviet premier Khrushchev; Russian missiles are withdrawn from Cuba in exchange for the withdrawal of US missiles from Turkey; US travel restrictions are tightened.
1965–1975
Vietnam War—the United States is defeated.
1979–1989
Soviet war in Afghanistan—Russia is defeated.
The Berlin Wall is deactivated and pulled down.
The Soviet Union crumbles after Eastern European nations declare independence.
1991
Worldwide end of the Cold War, with the exception of ongoing tensions between North and South Korea, and continued US travel and trade restrictions against Cuba.
2014
Simultaneous announcements by US president Barack Obama and Cuban leader Raúl Castro, declaring that a gradual process of normalizing diplomatic relations, trade, and travel will begin in January 2015.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
Enchanted Air is the true story of my first fourteen years. Since early memories tend to swirl through time, certain events are undoubtedly out of order, while others probably entered my mind through stories told by older relatives, or even by looking at photographs.
I never thought I would be brave enough to write about my life as a Cuban American child growing up in the United States during the hostilities of the Cold War. I thought it would be too excruciating. That is why I have chosen to focus on travel memories. Travel is a magical experience. Travel opens the heart and challenges the mind. Travel gives us an opportunity to see how others live, whether they are relatives or strangers. Travel teaches compassion.
Soon after my last childhood visit to Cuba in 1960, a devastating travel ban was imposed by the United States Treasury Department, under the Trading with the Enemies Act. While I was still a teenager, I began applying for permission to return to Cuba. With visas denied by both countries, I pushed the island to the back of my mind. Eventually, my grandmother became a refugee. Both she and my mother became US citizens.
As an adult, I studied agriculture, botany, and creative writing, became the first woman agronomy professor at one of California’s polytechnic universities, and traveled all over Latin America, eager to learn about other countries. I married, raised a family, and enjoyed an ordinary North American life, but that sense of loss left by the Cold War—an almost-war—never passed.
In 1991, thirty-one years after my last childhood visit to my mother’s homeland, I was finally blessed with a chance to visit relatives, who began calling me the family’s ambassador. More than half a century after the Missile Crisis, the two countries I love had not yet renewed diplomatic relations. I have returned to Cuba many times with humanitarian-aid programs and for legal family visits, but as I write this, one of the closest neighbors of the United States is just beginning to be accessible to other American citizens.
While I was writing Enchanted Air, my hope was that normalization would begin before it went to press. That prayer has been answered. May this little book of childhood memories serve as one of José Martí’s white roses—a poetic plea for the chance to treat neighbors like friends.
Margarita Engle
January 2015
Cultivo una rosa blanca,
en julio como en enero,
para el amigo sincero
que me da su mano franca.
Y para el cruel que me arranca
el corazón con que vivo,
cardo ni oruga cultivo;
cultivo la rosa blanca.
I grow a white rose,
in July, as in January,
for the sincere friend
who gives me his honest hand.
And for the cruel one who rips out
the heart with which I live,
I don’t grow thistles or weeds;
I grow the white rose.
—José Martí
from Versos Sencillos (Simple Verses)
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I thank God for the magic of travel and the miracle of hope.
I am profoundly grateful to my parents, sister, and extended family for childhood travel experiences, and to my husband and children for later journeys.
Abrazos a los primos.
For suggesting that I write a childhood memoir, I am eternally grateful to Oralia Garza de Cortes.
Hugs to the following friends who listened as I moaned about the difficulty of writing a childhood memoir: Sandra Ríos Balderrama, Angelica Carpenter, and Joan Schoettler.
Special thanks to my wonderful agent, Michelle Humphrey, my amazing editor, Reka Simonsen, and the entire fantastic publishing team at Atheneum. For the stunning jacket art, I am grateful to Edel Rodriguez, and for a beautiful design, I am thankful to Debra Sfetsios-Conover.
MARGARITA ENGLE is a Cuban-American poet and novelist whose books include The Surrender Tree, a Newbery Honor Book and winner of the Jane Addams Children’s Book Award, the Pura Belpré Author Award, the Américas Award, and the Claudia Lewis Poetry Award; The Poet Slave of Cuba, winner of the Pura Belpré Author Award and the Américas Award; Tropical Secrets; The Firefly Letters; Hurricane Dancers; The Wild Book; The Lightning Dreamer, winner of the PEN Literary Award for Young Adult Literature; and Silver People. She lives with her husband in Northern California. Visit her at margaritaengle.com.
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Text copyright © 2015 by Margarita Engle
Jacket illustrations, interior illustrations, and hand-lettering copyright © 2015 by Edel Rodriguez
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Engle, Margarita.
Enchanted air : Two cultures, two wings: a memoir / Margarita Engle. — First edition.
pages cm
ISBN 978-1-4814-3522-2
ISBN 978-1-4814-3524-6 (eBook)
1. Engle, Margarita. 2. Cuban Americans—Biography. 3. Women authors, American—20th century—Biography. I. Title.
PS3555.N4254Z46 2015
811’.54—dc23
[B] 2014017408