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    With a Star in My Hand

    Page 2
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      Feathers, ribbons, and strands of colorful paper,

      cut into all sorts of complicated, lacy shapes.

      The street in front of our house looks like a toy store

      imagined, and then brought to life by a magician.

      On the ground, there are carpets of pictures

      made by artists who work with sawdust—

      red cedar, mahogany, yellow mora, black ebony,

      and on top of those fragments of tumbled forest,

      a rainbow of flower petals, wheat grains,

      corn, beans, and other seeds, as if to praise

      this generous earth

      for a wealth

      of delicious growth.

      I stand outdoors

      dazzled by brilliant designs,

      especially the one that dangles right in front of my

      astonished eyes, a golden pomegranate

      instead of a natural, ruby-red fruit.

      Has a clever artist coated this granada

      with some sort of glittering metallic dust?

      Is it real gold?

      When I reach up to touch

      the shimmering sculpture,

      it cracks open, and a shower of paper

      rains down—verses, poems, all written

      by me, the ones I traded for candy!

      Are my scraps of rhyme

      really so valuable

      that the bishop’s sisters

      want to share them

      with everyone?

      Maybe all I’ll ever need

      for the rest of my life

      is this thunderous comfort,

      my own wild storm

      of explosive

      poetry!

      READING, READING, READING

      There is only one way to improve my chime of verses.

      So I read, read, read, all the carefully rhymed words

      written long before

      I ever existed.

      PRACTICING TRADITIONAL POETIC FORMS

      I am determined to write a perfect redondilla

      of four eight-syllable lines, with the rhyme pattern

      a b b a.

      I try all sorts of formal rhymes,

      a

      first a four-line redondilla,

      b

      then a brave five-line quintilla,

      b

      until I’m rhyming all the time.

      a

      CHALLENGING MYSELF

      Next, I scribble an old-fashioned octavilla

      of two redondillas, using the familiar

      rhyme pattern

      a b b a a c c a.

      Poetry keeps flooding my mind.

      a

      Soon I try long octavillas

      b

      of two attached redondillas

      b

      with rhymes that can be hard to find.

      a

      Once all the words have been entwined

      a

      I see the pleasure of knowing

      c

      that a poem can change, growing

      c

      beyond old forms with counted lines.

      a

      WHY I BEGIN TO CRAVE IMPROVISATION

      Décimas are sets of two redondillas

      linked by a two-line bridge of eight syllables each

      with a rhyme pattern

      a b b a a c a c c a,

      and espinelas are the same

      only ending with

      c d d c.

      Seguidillas have alternating lines of five

      and seven syllables, with vowel rhymes

      anywhere in the even lines (2, 4, 6), instead of

      always appearing at the ends,

      perfectly aligned . . .

      so I start to experiment with changing everything

      and just letting verses flow, finding their way

      into musical rhythms that dance on natural air

      tempest-tossed,

      wind-driven!

      Why obey such strict rhyming rules

      when poems have minds, hearts, and souls

      of their own, always loving

      freedom?

      VOWEL RHYMES

      I love

      to rhyme

      just the insides

      of syllables

      sometimes.

      This is still a verse

      even though the words

      seem to hold internal mysteries,

      these assonantal vowel rhymes that can be found

      anywhere in a line, not just at the end

      so rigidly

      final.

      EVERY SADNESS

      Lost mother.

      Dead father.

      Even the smallest

      stormy poem

      offers enough

      nearly rhymed

      room

      for all

      human

      sorrows.

      Yes, I’m angry.

      So I fill my verses with beautiful swans

      and peacocks, hoping the reader will understand

      that this contrast with hideous ugliness

      lies at the heart of my rage, because

      I feel cheated

      by abandonment

      and other human

      cruelties.

      SHARED SORROWS

      With so much fury

      disguised inside glorious verses,

      I become the object of adult attention.

      Families ask me to write poems for them to read

      at the funerals of loved ones.

      My windstorm of rhythms, both rhymed

      and nearly rhymed, turns into a strange

      sort of musical wealth, that I must spend

      to help others, even when each furious

      burst

      of verses

      hurts

      my wounded heart

      and suffering

      mind.

      ANY HAPPINESS

      Every Sunday, my family

      celebrates a children’s dance, with aunts,

      uncles, cousins, and other festive relatives.

      Some of my tías seem a bit crazy,

      all wrapped up in ruffles and wearing

      shiny red shoes, as if they think they

      are still little girls

      like their pretty daughters.

      These dressed-up aunts claim to be impressed

      with my elaborate, rhythmic sonnets

      written for funerals, so now I’m invited

      to recite completely new rhymes

      for female cousins, las primas,

      generous girls who are eager to praise

      my poetic talent, as long as their names

      are included in the titles of verses.

      I scribble on fans and in autograph albums,

      my hurricane of words always inspiring

      a whirl of smiles.

      FAMILY ADVENTURES

      Sometimes all my uncles decide

      to explore the countryside, so we ride,

      bumping and swaying in an old oxcart,

      with rough cowhides forming a cover

      to protect all my many cousins

      from the fiery blaze of sun.

      When I remember the cattle that guarded me

      after I was stranded by my mother, I think I’d rather

      be burnt by light than continue to hide

      beneath a slaughtered animal-friend’s skin . . .

      but los primos sing as we go,

      thrilled to be on our way, no matter

      how gruesome

      our shelter.

      As soon as we reach a river,

      I rush to swim and daydream,

      washing unwanted memories

      away.

      A FAMILY MYSTERY

      Tío Manuel is the only uncle

      who makes me feel uncomfortable.

      There’s something about his stare,

      as if he finds my timid gaze fascinating.

      When we’re hiking in high mountains

      on the slopes of a smoky volcano,

      I have plenty of chances


      to escape from him.

      I can’t stand the way he always asks

      so many questions about my mother’s

      disappearance.

      In the rainy green jungle, I try to stay far away

      from his booming rifle, and at the seashore

      I’d rather listen to my older cousins’ horrifying

      ghost stories.

      Why does this one particular uncle

      always make me feel so vulnerable?

      FAMILY CAMPING

      We sleep in huts

      made of leafy green branches,

      all the children sneaking out

      at midnight

      to chase red crabs,

      watch enormous turtles,

      and dream beneath

      glowing stars

      as they glide

      across dark sky

      forming the ancient shapes

      of magnificent constellations—

      a winged horse, a dolphin,

      a dragon, the Milky Way.

      Does that hunter made of stars

      use his arrows to shoot ordinary deer,

      or is he seeking treasures that no one on Earth

      has ever imagined?

      Maybe all he wants to chase is the glow

      of his own heavenly surroundings.

      Stories come easily

      as I combine old fairy tales

      with my own curious rush

      of new visions.

      While stargazing in the wilderness,

      I remember the tales of A Thousand and One Nights,

      and then I change them.

      Don Quixote.

      Spain’s Golden Age poets.

      Native Miskito legends.

      All are fair game when it comes to hunting

      for unwritten star wishes.

      WITNESS

      One night, I decide to leave the crowd

      of noisy cousins behind, so that I can stargaze

      alone, turning my view of the wild sky’s

      radiance

      into new rhymes.

      At the edge of a swamp, I stumble upon a scene

      so shocking that I wonder if I’m dreaming.

      Beside an oxcart, two men battle with machetes,

      until the hand of one is sent flying into the dark air,

      chopped off.

      Should I tell anyone what I’ve seen,

      or will sensible grown-ups refuse to listen

      to this tale of a violent crime witnessed by a child?

      Isn’t the role of poets to pass along truths,

      both gruesome and beautiful?

      Yes, I’ll have to tell, and maybe someday

      I’ll put the terrifying memory in writing as well.

      SUFFERING

      Those men who fought turn out to be friends,

      but they drank so much rum that they forgot

      about affection, and now the one

      who maimed the other

      must live with guilt

      for the rest of his life.

      Of all my rowdy uncles, Manuel is the only one

      who drinks so wildly that it’s easy to imagine

      violence leading to horrible crimes

      like severed hands.

      Is that why he looks at me so strangely,

      because he suspects I’ve decided to become

      the emotional sort of poet who never ignores

      injustice, but writes it into a truthful

      music of wishes?

      I’m only eleven years old,

      but that’s plenty of time

      to grow, learn, and know

      my own soul.

      HURRICANE

      Back at home, when an explosive tropical storm

      strikes the town of León, courageous Bernarda

      meets the attack of howling wind

      and torrential rain

      with peaceful palm fronds.

      All my aunts gather to arrange green leaves

      as decorations intended to protect walls and ceilings.

      Then they weave leafy crowns to be worn

      by singing children.

      Feeling like a hero in an ancient story,

      I wear my glorious leaf crown proudly,

      while chanting prayers we’ve all memorized

      precisely for these fights against the power

      of a rebellious sky.

      Words, my brave aunts insist,

      are weapons more effective

      than swords.

      SCANDAL

      Once the air is finally calm,

      people at church grow angry.

      In this city, we’ve always had a tradition

      of writing notes to God, revealing secrets

      which will be burned just as soon as the priests

      finish praying about all our private letters

      without reading a single word.

      When I see Bernarda carefully folding

      the paper that holds our family’s confessions,

      I wonder if her letter might include anything

      about my mother’s disappearance, or the identity

      of my dead father.

      We trust the priests.

      They’re kind men who give chocolates to children.

      Nevertheless, in this case they turn out to be dishonest.

      Someone catches them reading the whole town’s

      basket of notes, laughing and whispering

      about our secret lives.

      It’s an offense so serious

      that they are sent away,

      leaving the children of our town

      without chocolates

      or trust.

      I don’t know which is worse,

      my sudden awareness that grown-ups

      know all sorts of devious secrets,

      or my imagination,

      which runs wild,

      creating stories that might be

      even more horrible

      than those folded letters

      filled with hidden truths.

      When all the confessions are finally burned,

      I gaze at the basket of ashes, still wondering

      if the papery dust contains any tales

      about my parents.

      REBELLIOUS RHYMES

      If priests can break rules, so can I.

      Eleven syllables

      followed by three.

      Seven lines

      or twenty.

      I can write a poem

      in any form, just by inventing

      my own new lengths, shapes,

      and styles.

      No one can tell me how to think

      or what to believe, now that I’m

      finally

      twelve.

      ACROBATICS OF THE HEART

      I fall in love!

      Yes, I’m still just twelve, but maybe she’s

      not much older. . . .

      Her name is Hortensia, and she’s a performer

      in a traveling circus, una saltimbanqui,

      a high-wire trapeze artist

      from North America.

      I’ve always been told by teachers

      that the United States is a huge place

      filled with brutish politicians

      who want to invade all the smaller nations

      of Latin America, but Hortensia

      has conquered me

      with aerial somersaults

      instead of bullets.

      The entire circus is magnificent—magicians, musicians,

      jugglers, galloping trick riders, strange sideshows,

      bizarre animals, and Hortensia’s

      astonishing

      acrobatic flips,

      cartwheels,

      and impossible leaps,

      the high-rising flight

      of a human

      bird girl!

      WHEN YOU’RE IN LOVE, EVERY WORD IS MAGICAL

      If I don’t see my beloved’s

      acrobatic performance

      and hear her voice

      every day

      for the rest of my lif
    e,

      I feel certain

      that my heart

      will crack open

      like that golden pomegranate

      during Easter week,

      and all my stormy verses

      will shower down,

      sinking into the depths

      of dry earth,

      broken,

      buried.

      TRICKSTER

      I don’t have enough money

      to go to the circus every day,

      so I have to dream up many

      sneaky ways

      to enter.

      One evening, I carry a violin,

      pretending to be one of the musicians.

      The next afternoon, I haul a stack of papers

      to make myself look like an official.

      Finally, after much trial and error,

      I discover that the clown loves poetry,

      so now I simply trade

      rhythmic verses

      for tickets.

      His favorites are the romantic rhymes,

      which I imagine he will recite as if they

      are his own heartfelt poems, whenever he

      falls as deeply in love

      as this hopeful

      twelve-year-old

      trickster.

      Unable to imagine

      life without the circus,

      I audition, but my poet’s body

      fails to pass all the tests

      for athletic talent,

      and I end up facing

      Hortensia’s unbearable

      departure.

     


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