developing new, 29
Koestler, Arthur, 124
uprooting old, 112–113
harassment, reporting, 159–160
learned information, retention of, 4
help, from coworkers, 22
legal issues, 124, 216–223
Hemingway, Ernest, 108
bully as liability, 191
American Management Association • www.amanet.org
INDEX ❚ 241
bully boss and employee rights,
mental martial arts, 56–58
169–170
mental multitasking, 57
criminal assault, 220–221
mentoring, 203–204
employee attack for exercising
Mercieca v. Rummel, and Microsoft, 220
protected right, 218–219
Microsoft, 220
illegal discrimination, 217–218
mileposts for goal achievement, 186
intentional infliction of emotional
mind, reprogramming, 88–89
distress, 221
mind power, 55–56
retaliation for exercising legal
morale, 176, 206
right, 220
violation of state law, 222–223
Namie, Gary, 205, 206
lies, 15
Namie, Ruth, ix
limits, setting, 63–66
narcissist manipulator, 40–41,
LinkedIn, 136, 152
142–147
loyalty, 167
National Labor Relations Act
Luke, Lucinda, 161
(NLRA), 219
negative comments to supervisors, 10
managers
negative emotions, 52
bullying information for, 202–208
negativity, 121
creating bully-free environment,
negotiation, 192–195
205–208
niceness, 174
reasons bullies are avoided by,
bully perception of, 21–22
204–205
Nin, Anaïs, 224
support from, 189–196
no as response, 18–19, 100
Mandela, Nelson, 60
Nogg, Russell, 221, 222
manipulation
no-win situation, 95–96
aggressive, 11
by narcissists, 144
Occupational Safety and Health Act,
psychological, 98–99
219
Marden, Orison Swett, 148
Occupational Safety and Health
mediation, 214
Administration, 219
memory, 4
office pecking order, 40
mental barriers, managing, 111–112
office politics, 135
mental energy, 183–184
opinions
mental kelvar, 87–88
disapproval of, 36
mental manipulation, confronting,
vs. facts, 137
89–90
organization internal culture, 213
American Management Association • www.amanet.org
242 ❚ INDEX
Parks, Rosa, 209
retaliation, 132
passivity trap, 77–78
for exercising legal right, 220
Payne, Robert, 142
retention of learned information, 4
personal bill of rights, 64–66
revenge, 74
physical bullying, 11
rhino, wounded, 41–43, 148–151
physical processing of information,
risk/reward ratio, 119–120
56
Rodin, Auguste, 173
Plato, 9
Roosevelt, Eleanor, 103
police, reporting cyberbullies to,
Roosevelt, Theodore, 92, 164
160
rumors, 80
posture, 61–63
rush assignments, 28
power
stepping into, 110–111
sabotage, 41
taking away, 120–121
protection against, 175
taking back, 53–54
saying no, 18–19, 100
preemptive strikes, 149–150
scorched-earth fighter, 36–38,
privacy, 65
124–130
problem solving, ix
self-confidence, bully boss impact,
psychological manipulation, 98–99
165–166
psychological violence, 11
self-esteem, 53, 71
public policy, violation of, 222
bully’s impact, 86
Publilius Syrus, 189
of narcissists, 144
pushover, way to stop being, 109–110
preventing bully from impacting,
87
questions, response to, 104–105
sexual harassment, response to,
74–76
Raess v. Doescher, 221
shame, 21
realistic goals, 184–185
shape-shifter, 38–40, 97–98, 189
reference checks, 146
seeing through, 135–141
relationships, 153, 175
silence, 63–66
reputation, 15, 44
bully interpretation of, 118–122
social media and, 156–163
of employees, 13
undoing wounds from assassin,
silencing angry, aggressive jerk,
152–155
117–123
requests, unreasonable, 19
silent grenade, 38, 73–74, 200
respect, 34, 65–66
defusing, 131–134
response to bullying, controlling, 50
silent witnesses, 234
American Management Association • www.amanet.org
INDEX ❚ 243
situation assessment, 50–51
time-out, 100–101
situational bullying, 11
toe-to-toe head-on approach, 233
skills, putting into practice, 4
training employees, 213
social media, 15, 108, 153, 156–163
truth, 44
absence of constraints, 157–158
tweets, 15
reporting harassment, 159–160
Society for Human Resource
U.S. Department of Labor, 218
Management, survey 2011, 212
University of Haifa, 158
standing up for self, 26, 29
Utah, Health Workplace Bill, 222
state law, violation of, 222–223
strategies, 150, 182–188
verbal abuse, 11, 93–94
designing, 185
The Verbally Abusive Relationship
“stop, freeze, do anything else
(Evans), 93
but, ” 113
victim of bullying, 23, see also target
submission trap, 76–77
video recording, 121
Sulak, Tim, 220
violence, 101
Sun Tzu, The Art of War, 161
Viscott, David, 1
supervisors, negative comments to,
visualization, 56
10
of goal, 184
support
VitalSmarts survey, 2014, 11–12, 234
emotional component to buy-in,
190–191
warning signs, 13–14, 146, 206
recruiting, 137–140, 190–195
Wayne, John, 25
weak spots, of narcissists, 144
tactics, countering, 92–102
win/lose beliefs, 73
target
win/win approach, 117
being easy, 16
witness to bullying, 233–234
bully testing of, 53
work environment, creating bully-
factors leading to, 12–13, 51–52
free, 205–208
t
emper tantrums, 200
workplace bullying, 11
terminating bully employee, 179–
Workplace Bullying Institute, viii
180, 192, 204
2014 U.S. Workplace Bullying
impact, 173–174
Survey, vii, 12
testing, by bullies, 176
wounded rhino, 41–43, 148–151
threat, reaction to, 48–50
written reprimand meeting, 179
360° reviews, 137, 139–140, 169,
170–171, 206, 214
yelling, 104
American Management Association • www.amanet.org
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lynne Curry founded and runs Alaska’s largest management and
HR consulting firm, with 3,500 clients in fourteen states, as well
as Japan, Korea, England, and China. Armed with a doctorate in
social psychology and having earned a Senior Professional in Human
Resources certificate, she provides executive and life coaching; man-
ager, employee, and board training; HR on-call services; and medi-
ation, team-building, strategic planning, investigation, and other
management consulting services to individuals and organizations.
Her clients have included the U.S. Army, ConocoPhillips, the State of
Alaska, British Petroleum, Veterans Affairs, and Wells Fargo.
Lynne has authored three earlier books, Solutions, Won by One, and Managing Equally and Legally. Her weekly “Dear Abby of the workplace” column has run since 1983 and hundreds of media outlets from
Yahoo! News to CBS MoneyWatch have published her writing.
Lynne has three children, Ben, Jenny, and (angel) Joey, and one
granddaughter and divides her time between her home in Anchorage
and her cabin in Moose Pass.
Connect with Curry:
Her blog: www.workplacecoachblog.com
Her company: www.thegrowthcompany.com
Twitter: @lynnecurry10
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
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pages cm
Includes index.
ISBN 978-0-8144-3688-2 (pbk.) — ISBN 978-0-8144-3689-9 (ebook)
1. Bullying in the workplace. 2. Problem employees. 3. Personnel management. I. Title.
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© 2016 Lynne Curry
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Document Outline
COVER
TITLE
CONTENTS
FOREWORD
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
INTRODUCTION: Intimidated No More—You Can Do It
CHAPTER 1 Are You a Bully Magnet?
CHAPTER 2 You Can Run, but You Can't Hide: Bullies Don't Go Away on Their Own
CHAPTER 3 Doormats Can Change: Here's What It Takes
CHAPTER 4 Wounded Rhinos, Shape- Shifters, Character Assassins, and Other Bullies
CHAPTER 5 It's Your Choice: To Confront or Not to Confront
CHAPTER 6 Put on Your Game Face: Don't Play by the Bully's Rules
CHAPTER 7 The Eight Most Common Bully Traps and How to Avoid Them
CHAPTER 8 How to Overcome the Bully's Favorite Weapon—an Outpost in Your Mind
CHAPTER 9 Countering Bully Tactics and Bully Speak
CHAPTER 10 Turn the Tables on a Bully with One Easy Move
CHAPTER 11 Create the You Who Won't Knuckle Under
CHAPTER 12 How to Silence the Angry, Aggressive Jerk
CHAPTER 13 How to Handle a Scorched- Earth Fighter
CHAPTER 14 Defusing the Silent Grenade
CHAPTER 15 Seeing Through the Shape- Shifting Mr. Hyde
CHAPTER 16 Pierce the Facade; Topple the Narcissist
CHAPTER 17 Take Down the Rhino Before It Charges
CHAPTER 18 Undoing a Character Assassin's Wounds to Your Reputation
CHAPTER 19 The Newest Character Assassin: The Cyberbully
CHAPTER 20 How to Survive the Bully Boss
CHAPTER 21 Handling the Bully Employee Without Getting Burned
CHAPTER 22 Nine Essential Strategies for Creating Your Game Plan
CHAPTER 23 The Right Way to Ask Managers and Others for What You Need
CHAPTER 24 Anger, the Bully, and You
CHAPTER 25 What Every Leader Should Know About Bullying
CHAPTER 26 What Human Resources Can and Should Do
CHAPTER 27 Bullying Isn't Illegal—or Is It?
CHAPTER 28 The Times Are Changing: Have You?
INDEX A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
Y
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
FREE SAMPLE CHAPTER FROM TALKING TO CRAZY
COPYRIGHT
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