“I’m glad to see you are thinking like a soldier,” he said softly.
“Yes, that’s me. The good little soldier nobody wants.”
“Alisha, you know that’s not true.”
“The facts say differently!” she snapped.
“What facts?”
“The fact that you’d rather have Ben than me as your flyer. The fact that the battle has a higher probability of success if I don’t fly a mission. The fact that you took the entire Broadtown squad with you to the East Coast except for a psychotic killer, a brain-concussioned videographer, and me!”
“Alisha, I explained why I can’t take you,” he reminded her.
“But you didn’t tell me you were going to take everybody I care about away from me!”
Logan pulled her tightly against his chest, ignoring the pain it caused him. “I know, and I’m sorry about that. I need good Ryders I can position throughout the East Coast that will be loyal to me, Alisha.” Logan almost told her the other reason, that General Powell planned to allow their field promotions to expire next week, sending them back down into the ranks. He refrained from telling her that because he knew it was important not to make her think less of Powell than she naturally did.
“Even to their own detriment? I was going to pass Tucker on the wind tunnel. I would have done it yesterday, but I needed to get the first batch passed so I could focus on his training.”
“I wish you would have told me that.”
“Well, if I had known you were planning on taking him away, I would have.”
He cupped his hands around her face. “Alisha. There’s no doubt I could have handled this better. And I won’t lie to you. I knew taking your old squad and Ben would be hard on you. But you aren’t alone! You have your grandfather, and you have Jack. They’ll get you through this!”
“Jack should probably go with you as well,” she admitted, tears welling up in her eyes from even suggesting such a thing. “General Powell is horrible to him now…”
“Jack can take care of himself,” Logan assured her. And you, he added silently.
“I’m not so sure, but together we’ll probably survive.”
“Probably?” Logan teased gently.
Alisha gave him a lopsided smile. “Seventy-eight percent on MAC’s scale.”
“Then I need you to throw in that pure determination to live that you used during the Broadtown mission,” he replied.
“To rally that level of determination, I’m going to need that kiss you promised me.”
Logan was about to point out he had promised a kiss when he was leaving, but he realized this was probably the last time he would ever see her. Soon she’d be called to the captains’ review and he’d be briefing his own troops. He leaned down and kissed her, at first gently, but as the passion enflamed within him, he pulled her up into his arms and devoured her with hunger.
He knew he had erred. A kiss could not extinguish the hardening passion within him—it could only flame the fire. There was only one way this could end, only one way to quench the aching, unending, hungry need that drove him beyond rational thoughts. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to his bed, pushing his cases onto the floor.
Even as he laid her on the bed, he could feel her small hands running over the smooth surface of his flight suit. He tried to reach back and unzip the suit, but in his agitated state, he could not pull the zipper down. Finally, he broke apart from her kiss. “You’re going to have to help me out of this,” he admitted, his voice husky with need. He turned his back to her so she could reach the zipper and saw Jack standing at the door.
“Sorry,” Jack said. “My timing sucks, I know. But you’ve only got two minutes to get those bags on the truck,” Jack explained as he reached down and picked them up, handing them to Gunny who stood outside the door. “Your troops are assembled and waiting for you, General,” he added.
“I’ll be right there,” Logan sighed and stood up, waiting for the driving need within him to subside.
He walked to the door and stared out into the hall, afraid to look at her, afraid if he did, he’d chuck it all and return to her side. Logan knew he had to say something. He couldn’t just walk out of the room. A thousand things came to his mind, but they all seemed pointless, for he had said everything he could to make her understand why he had to go. There was simply nothing more to say except the hardest words of all. But they had to be said.
“Goodbye, Alisha,” he said, not daring to turn and look at her, not daring to see the misery in her sweet face. He just stated those two words and walked out the door.
As he quickly marched across the sunburned prairie grass crackling beneath his feet, with the harsh fierce winds sucking away any tear that might have dared to gather in his eyes, he became aware of a growing lump in his stomach and a sense of disaster.
He wondered if the general who had pressed the button to launch the first of the many nuclear bombs that were released during the Terror wars had felt such a prescience of doom. He felt as if he had just entered a path that should never have been taken and nothing, absolutely nothing, would ever be right again. A horrible, unthinkable path of misery, set up by the two simple words: goodbye, Alisha.
Chapter 45
Alisha could not believe Logan had said goodbye and simply walked out the door. How could he have done it? If he’d felt half the need, half the passion she was feeling, how could he have possibly walked away?
Because he didn’t feel it, she realized. He could walk away because, despite his words of love, in his heart, she hadn’t touched him. Alisha didn’t fight as the pain of realization chilled her passion and replaced its heat with cold, empty loss.
She wasn’t sure how much time she had remained lying on Logan’s bed, unable to find the energy to leave his room. She lost track of time, of consciousness even, for living was too horrible to contemplate just now.
A gentle touch brought her back to reality, and she looked up at Jack’s worried face. “Alisha, I’m going to take you to the medic ward.” Jack lifted her up into his arms and carried her from the room.
“There’s nothing a medic can do for me,” she said, her voice flat and dull.
“I know. But if I can’t get Sandy to declare you critically ill, you are going to have to fly this battle, and I don’t think you are in any condition to do that.”
“The general should be thrilled I won’t be there, since the probability increased when I wasn’t flying a mission.”
“Alisha. The probability increased because you were assisting me in field command. What that says is you are even more valuable as a strategist than you are as a flyer, and you are clearly the most valuable flyer the Corps has ever had.”
“Really?” she asked, desperately needing to hear that she had some use and value in the world.
“How can you even doubt it?” he asked in amazement.
“I’m doubting a lot of things at the moment. I thought the colonel loved me, and you see how wrong I was on that,” she admitted, feeling the tears welling in her eyes.
“I’ve never seen a man more in love than Logan is with you,” Jack insisted as he stopped and placed her gently on her feet so he could look her straight in the eye. “Logan loves you! How can you not believe that?”
“Because he left me. If he had felt half the passion that I feel, he couldn’t have left me,” she cried.
“Alisha, I interrupted you two, remember. Trust me when I tell you he was as impassioned as any man I’ve ever seen.”
“Then how could he leave me?” she demanded. “I couldn’t have left! Not even if the battle had been right on top of us. I was completely and utterly lost in him.”
“Logan’s too strong to become lost, although he was certainly dazed at the point I interrupted you two.” Jack gave her a wry grin.
“Then you think he does love me?” she asked, disgusted by the pitiful sound of her voice.
“I know he does! There is not a doubt in my mind,” Jack assured
her.
Alisha glanced at the west field, but it was empty and barren. “He’s already gone then?”
“General Logan and his troops left about twenty minutes ago. We’re to deploy in…” Jack looked at his watch. “Five minutes, so I’ve got to get you to Sandy now or you’ll be flying this battle fit or not.”
“No. I want to fly the battle,” she said.
“Alisha, you’re in no condition…” Jack protested.
“I’m okay now,” she assured him. “I thought his leaving meant he couldn’t have loved me, but you’ve convinced me that’s not what it meant. Logan has always been stronger than me. And his dedication to the Corps is a major part of him. If I didn’t fight this battle, he would think it was his fault.” She looked up at Jack. “I can’t let that happen, Jack. I’m flying the mission.”
“Glad to hear it,” Jack admitted. “I want those extra four points of probable success.”
Alisha steeled herself with determination. She trusted Jack’s assessment. If Logan really did love her, then there was still hope. All she needed was this damned war between the Corps and the Cartel to be over so Logan’s priorities could shift in her favor. And the best way to end the war was to help fight it.
As she walked across the dry, crackling grass, double stepping to keep up with Jack’s long stride, she felt hope take seed in her heart. This wasn’t an ending. There was just this distraction of war she needed to get out of the way before their paths could join. Then she could bring him back to her, with two words of her own: Marry me.
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Don’t miss the conclusion of the SkyRyder’s Scavenger Series: Scavenger Vanishes.
Other Books by Liza O’Connor
SCIENCE FICTION
The Multiverse Series
Sci-Fi Soap Opera with humor, romance, and science
The Gods of Probabilities
Surviving Outbound
Surviving Terranue
Surviving Sojourn
Artificial Intelligence Series
Sci-Fi/Romance
Public Secrets
Birth of Adam
The SkyRyders Series
Sci-Fi Romance
Scavenger’s Mission
Scavenger Falters-Dec 30, 2016
Scavenger Vanishes-coming April 3, 2017
CONTEMPORARY
A Long Road to Love Series
Humorous Contemporary Disaster Romance
Worst Week Ever
Oh Stupid Heart
Coming to Reason
Climbing Out of Hell
The Hardest Love
CONTEMPORARY SUSPENSE
White Oak Mafia Series
Snarky, Romantic, Suspense Thriller
A Fortune to Die For
Dance or Die
Requires Rescue Series
Often Humorous, Contemporary, Romance/Suspense
Standalone books with a special twist
Even the strong can use a helping hand when life gets hard.
Saving Casey
Saving Molly
SINGLE CONTEMPORARY BOOKS
Ghost Lover
Humorous, Contemporary Romance with Ghost & Ghost cat
HISTORICAL
The Adventures of Xavier & Vic
Humorous, Late Victorian Sleuth Series
The Troublesome Apprentice
The Missing Partner
A Right to Love (a romantic spinoff)
The Mesmerist
Well Kept Secrets
Pack of Trouble
The Darkest Days
The CrimeLords’ War
SINGLE HISTORICAL NOVELS
Untamed & Unabashed
Spinoff from Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice