Spaghetti and Salad • Lisa
Holiday FOMO • Francesca
Game of Thrones • Lisa
Facets of a Stone • Francesca
This Call Is Being Monitored for Quality Assurance Purposes • Lisa
A Thing of Beauty • Francesca
Over Troubled Waters • Lisa
Party Hearty • Lisa
Rings of Love • Francesca
Thanks for Asking! • Lisa
Looking at My Garden • Lisa
Pop Goes the Pill • Lisa
Those Who Can’t Date, Set Up • Francesca
Empty Nesting for Experts • Lisa
Empty Nesting for Experts, Part Two • Lisa
Undefined • Francesca
Everything Old Is Nude Again • Lisa
The Unofficial Wedding Party • Francesca
My Brain Hurts • Lisa
Mother Time • Lisa
God Gave You Two • Francesca
In the Soup • Lisa
Look Out! There’s a Feminist Behind You. • Francesca
Muted • Lisa
AARP, or American Association of Retired Pets • Lisa
They’re Playing My Song • Francesca
To Error Is Human • Lisa
Conditional • Lisa
Dog Must Love • Francesca
Friendship on the Flip Side • Lisa
You Aren’t What You Eat • Lisa
Acknowledgments
Other Nonfiction by Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella
About the Authors
Copyright
I’VE GOT SAND IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES. Copyright © 2016 by Smart Blonde, LLC, and Francesca Scottoline Serritella. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.stmartins.com
All photographs courtesy of the authors.
Cover design by Michael Storrings
Cover photographs: beach © mariakraynova Shutterstock; bikini © Sandra Cunningham Dreamstine.com
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Names: Scottoline, Lisa, author.|Serritella, Francesca Scottoline, author.
Title: I’ve got sand in all the wrong places / by Lisa Scottoline & Francesca Serritella.
Other titles: I have got sand in all the wrong places
Description: First edition.|New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2016.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016003973|ISBN 9781250059956 (hardcover)|ISBN 9781466865259 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Mothers and daughters—Humor.|Women—Humor.|Scottoline, Lisa.|Serritella, Francesca Scottoline.|BISAC: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting Parent & Adult Child.|HUMOR Form / Essays.
Classification: LCC PN6231.M68 S374 2016|DDC 818/ .5402—dc23
LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2016003973
e-ISBN 9781466865259
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First Edition: July 2016