Subject:
Little Eva!
Fuck – can you believe it?! A girl! It’s so weird! I went to see her last night for the first time – she was exactly twenty-four hours old! She’s a big girl, I tell you. Looks like she’s at least a week old! And she looks just like Millie (thank God). You should see Sean – it’s incredible – I can’t believe he’s the same bloke. He just sat there and stared and stared at this kid like it was some kind of miracle. I walked into Millie’s flat (God, Tone, you should see her flat – it’s amazing) and the three of them were all sitting on the sofa, log fire going in the fireplace, cats everywhere, like some kind of perfect family. Almost felt a bit broody for a minute – just for a minute, mind! Mum went gaga and even Dad got a bit misty-eyed. You’d think this kid was the new messiah or something, the way everyone was behaving!
Life’s good for me right now – things with Ness are just getting better and better and we’ve actually started talking about getting a place – together – fuck! What a year! Don’t tell Mum, though – not until we’ve decided for sure. Mum and Dad are great. The house still feels a bit weird, though, since Gervase went. I still go in to his room every now and then, you know, just to remember him. And of course, it’s really weird without Goldie. Poor old bugger. But he’s gone to a better place. And just you wait until you see this new puppy. He’s quite big now and he’s a total terror. He’s chewed half the furniture to pieces and all of Mum’s shoes. But he’s such a laugh and it’s nice for Mum and Dad to have something else to worry about now that I’m not living there any more.
Can’t wait to see you next week. I’ve got so much to tell you – mainly work stuff – but it’s just going to be so great having you back for a few days. I’ve really missed you, Tone. But I think you did the right thing going. I can already tell from your e-mails how much happier you are – maybe you can understand now why I left when I did. Sometimes the time’s just right for a change. You have to go with your gut feelings, don’t you? And there’s no point questioning why some things don’t work out – it’s all part of the journey and it’s where you end up that matters, not how you get there. You sound like you’re in a good place, and I certainly am – the best place ever.
Ta-ta for now Uncle Tony – see you next week. And can you bring a bit of that California sunshine with you?!
Love,
Your kid brother
Ned London
Fine Art Buyer
London Cards Ltd
Table of Contents
Cover
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Title Page
Copyright Page
Acknowledgements
A Friend of the Family
Gerry Gets Technical
Dear Mon
Unbridled Parental Joy at Prodigal Homecoming
Lose Weight Now – Ask Me How
Sean’s Older Woman
A Decent Breakfast
Dinner at Mickey’s
Death by Corkscrew
Skiving in the Park
Mon’s Hair and Bernie’s Soul
Romance in Catford
Just What He Always Wanted
The Loneliest Penguin
Millie’s Curveball
Charming Sentiments from Overseas
Pregnant?
There’s Good News and There’s Bad News
Sean’s Psychotic Parrot
Eating Cheese in the Moonlight
Duplicity City
Purple Sofas, Mojitos and Leopardskin Mobile Cases
www.morningsicknessremedies.com
Sean’s Diatribe
Millie’s Enchanted Kingdom
Big Quiffs and Little Cars
Horse Shit on Beulah Hill
A Terrifying Proposal
Passing the Baton
Typing Tests and Origami
Fifteen Stone and Three Pounds
Nachos with Ned
Rileys’ Response
Dinner at Tony’s
Brother Merging
A Love Story in Two Acts
Tony Has a Good Week
One Door Closes
Getting Dumped in the Rain
‘The Way You Look Tonight’
Tea and Empathy
A Very Important Appointment
Putting On the Ritz
Surprise
Big Brother Is Looking After You
Gerry Gets Sentimental
Something Missing
E-pilogue