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    TBH, You Know What I Mean

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      Mwah

      SAGE

      Mwah

      Prianka, Cecily

      PRIANKA

      Hey

      CECILY

      Hiiiii

      PRIANKA

      Can u meet w/ Sage & me to discuss poetry month and help us

      CECILY

      Pri, u totally got this

      U can do it & I don’t think u need my help

      PRIANKA

      Ummmmm

      CECILY

      For real

      CECILY

      I have faith in you

      PRIANKA

      Ok

      CECILY

      Not doing it to be mean, just have a lot going on and I truly think you’ll be great

      PRIANKA

      K love you

      CECILY

      Love you, too

      Dear Journal,

      We have to do an entry during English today and even though this is really something I’d write in my journal at home I’ll write it here since Mr. Cental says he doesn’t read our journal entries. I believe him. He’s very honest. You can tell by his eyes. Anyway, onto my entry. I am so upset about this Hannah bat mitzvah thing but I am trying to play it cool. I don’t want Victoria to get all worked up and then go crying to her mom and cause some crazy drama. Pri’s right that it’s a fact of life that not every person is invited to every event. It’s just how it is. But even when something is a fact of life it still feels really painful. I want to go to that party, too, and get dressed up and enjoy all the fancy stuff. It just sounds like so much fun. Ugh, I am getting upset now just writing this. I feel like I could cry and I really don’t want to cry in class. I guess I’ll just cut this off. I’m so proud of all I accomplished with IWD and bringing up the broboom thing but then I’m so sad about this bat mitzvah drama. It feels uneven. I really really hope you’re not reading this, Mr. Cental.

      Bye. XOXOXO

      Cece

      Omg, Pri, what if each day of poetry month we had a different poetry-related thing?

      YESSSS! Love that, Sage. In love with it. OMG YES YESSSSSSS

      Can we think of thirty poetry-related activities, though?

      YES, of course we can. First of all, the pick a poem thing, from the bowls. Then we can also have a poetry wall one day where people just scribble up short poems. Maybe a dry erase? Or a chalkboard? One day we’ll have people bring in their favorite poem and hang it up. One day we’ll have an open mic poetry slam thing. Um, how many is that? Okay, so we’ll need more. Maybe a day where we focus on all the national poet laureate (did I spell that right?) people? And then also a day for books in verse? Songs that are poems one day? SO MANY IDEAS. I am on fiiireeeeee, baby. I am so inspired by what Cece did with IWD and making it happen & I want to start things & make things happen, too! POETRY PALS for LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Okay, got it. I love you, Pri. You’re so awesome.

      Duh. I know I am. Okay, you are, too.

      LOL K.

      :) :) :)

      VC Crew!!!!

      MAE

      Hiiii

      VICTORIA

      Hiii

      MAE

      So excited for summer volunteer corps

      VICTORIA

      Me tooo

      MAE

      Did we all agree to do the same project

      MARA

      I am still deciding

      CECILY

      Hi same

      MAE

      Ok

      Am kinda scared bc I only know u guys

      And we are going far away

      Kids from all over the country

      VICTORIA

      It’ll be totes fine

      CECILY

      Def

      MAE

      K but I kinda want to stay together if pos

      VICTORIA

      K we’ll do best we can

      MARA

      Mae u gotta chill

      It’s gonna be fine, dude

      MAE

      Dude

      Who r u rn

      MARA

      LOL IDK

      But u r acting looney tuneeeesssss

      MAE

      I’m fine

      K bye

      Cecily, Ingrid

      CECILY

      Ing?

      R u home

      I could get up from my bed and see but I am too lazy

      INGRID

      Almost home

      Went for a run

      CECILY

      U r running & texting @ the same time

      INGRID

      NO LOL

      Cool-down walk

      INGRID

      You ok?

      CECILY

      Yes come by my room when u get home

      Wanna talk 2 u

      INGRID

      Sure you’re ok?

      CECILY

      Yes

      3:31 PM

      INGRID

      Wait why are you texting me when we are standing right next to each other

      CECILY

      Bc Mom is def eavesdropping

      But she’ll prob see these texts

      She has that app where she can see all my texts

      CECILY

      That’s why I delete them all right away

      Not that I have so many secrets but YKWIM

      We can’t hide from our all-knowing, snooping mama . . .

      INGRID

      K hold

      So what’s going on?

      OK, writing is slower than texting but prob safer. Be patient. So all of this stuff feels like no big deal but then when I add it all up it really starts to upset me and stress me out. I think Mom is on this weird concerned-about-me stretch so I am trying to not make her more concerned which is why I didn’t want to talk out loud.

      Okay . . . So talk to me. Or I mean write to me. Ha!

      Well, first of all, it was just supposed to be Mara and me going to the volunteer summer corps thing but now Victoria is coming, too, and so is Mae, and it feels like too many people going to something together. I like to branch out and meet new people and Mae is already stressing that she doesn’t know anyone and can we do everything together and blah blah blah.

      Okay. Got that. Tell me everything at once and then I can address each issue.

      Okay. So there’s that. And also I wasn’t invited to Hannah Fletch’s bat mitzvah and I really wanted to be. It’s gonna be super fancy and fun and I am so so upset I wasn’t invited. Pri and Gabs were but Victoria wasn’t and I’m trying to stay chill but still so upset. So that’s another thing. Also I just feel like everyone is always leaning on me and saying how I know everything and can rule the world but it’s too much. I guess those are the main issues but I wanted to talk to you about them.

      Okay. Well, first of all, I get the thing with Mae and the trip. But this is always what happens. There’s tons of anxiety before you go and when you get there it’s totally fine. She’ll probably branch out a little and you obviously will and everyone will get settled and it will be fine. I don’t think she’ll hang on you for the entire time.

      As for the bat mitzvah, yeah, it sucks. That definitely happened to me a bunch and it was really upsetting. I remember when everyone in the grade got invited to Becca Emanuel’s. Well, I guess not everyone, but it felt like that and I was so bummed. I made Mom and Dad sit up with me until like 1 a.m. one night crying about it. Seriously! Do you remember this? It was a big deal at the time but then everyone got over it, including me. Maybe the kids at school wore the giveaway for one day and that was it. I mean, it’s not fun to not be included, but you’re right, it is something that will happen. Here’s the thing, Cece my love. You’re awesome. You did such a fab job with the International Women’s Day thing. And you’re def the smartest kid in the grade and you’re just amazing. Middle school isn’t the best and you’re still crushing it. Middle school is just this weird in-between little slice of life that’s awkward and messy and frankly kind of dumb. Everyone just wants to get through it, but you’re really making a difference! You’re doing more than just getting through it. And that’s why people loo
    k to you so much. You’re such a role model! Of course that’s hard.

      And yeah, it sucks about Hannah Fletch, but it’s not like you were ever really friends with her. And isn’t it kind of weird to have that fancy of a party for a thirteen-year-old? I mean, it is weird. And the whole thing that went down with her friend Sami—best to stay away from that group, if you want my honest opinion. So what else can I tell you?

      Yeah, I do kind of remember. Ingrid, my wise and amazing older sister, what would I ever do without you? I’m so glad we had this “chat.” I really should come and talk to you more often, LOL. Can we do a sister sleepover like we used to when we were little and camp out in one of our rooms in sleeping bags on the floor and try to stay up late?

      Sure, that would be fabulous. Name the time and I’m there.

      K, will do.

      Also I still need to watch the clip from the IWD thing on the Today show. I know they didn’t interview you and you’re still upset but YOU MADE THE WHOLE THING HAPPEN. And I am so proud. Viewing party tonight?

      YES FAB YES

      Ingrid, Cecily

      INGRID

      K, my hand is tired from writing. Going to get a snack. Also do I smell from my run? How have you been this close to me this whole time?

      CECILY

      You don’t smell. I promise.

      INGRID

      K, but I still need to shower

      CECILY

      Yes, good plan. Love you!

      INGRID

      Love you!

      Miss & Love U Guys

      VICTORIA

      Guys?

      I feel like we’ve barely texted recently

      Where is everyone

      PRIANKA

      Hi

      Very busy with poetry planning

      Gonna be soooo sooo awesome

      Cece, u and IWD were my inspiration

      I wanted to plan something, too, LOL

      VICTORIA

      Woo

      GABRIELLE

      I’m here

      Feeling overwhelmed with hw tho

      Why is this half of the year so much more work

      And all of it is sooooo hard

      VICTORIA

      CECILY

      I’m here

      Have been feeling a little blah

      PRIANKA

      For real, Cece?

      CECILY

      Ya

      PRIANKA

      Whyyyyyyyy

      CECILY

      IDK really

      GABRIELLE

      Cece, we are here for u

      CECILY

      Thanks

      VICTORIA

      Oh no, Cece, my summer buddy

      CECILY

      Ha

      VICTORIA

      U r my summer buddy right?

      CECILY

      Haha ya

      PRIANKA

      Back to poetry planning

      Talk later, peeps

      GABRIELLE

      Mwahhhhhhh

      VICTORIA

      Lates, peeeeps

      Can I make lates a thing

      GABRIELLE

      Lol IDK

      PRIANKA

      Bye 4 real now

      Hi, friends!!!!

      Hello, it’s meeeee!!!! YOUR BFF SINCE PRESCHOOL, VICTORIA MELFORD, and POSTCARD PAL!!!! I miss you soooooo much. I think I am doing this super awesome volunteer corps thing this summer with one of my new besties here, Cecily. You met her! Remember? So yeah. I’m not sure if I’ll be in Philly at all. Maybe for a weekend when we come to visit my grandma, but I think that’s it. How’s everything there? Fill me in. I really miss you guys.

      LOVE YOU FOREVS!

      Victoria Melford

      Nic and Kim

      c/o Landenor Family

      54 Clearview Circle

      Philadelphia, PA 19107

      OUTDOOR EXPLORERS

      HELLO!

      Outdoor Explorers REUNION IS SO SOON!! We’re planning a fun get-together! Please save the date! Saturday, April 25, at 11 a.m. in Central Park by the boathouse! Bring a picnic lunch and some fun stories to share. See you soon!

      Love and hugs,

      Your Outdoor Explorers Summer 2020 counselors

      Darren, Aviva, George, Marley, Everett, and Vee

      Ivy, Gabrielle

      IVY

      OMGGGG

      I am soooooo excited for this

      And in NYC aka my fave place in the world

      GABRIELLE

      I know! U love NYC!

      IVY

      Yeahhhhhhh

      GABRIELLE

      So fun

      I am so excited

      IVY

      Is this only for this summer people or last summer, too

      GABRIELLE

      I think only this summer

      IVY

      Eli is coming back btw

      GABRIELLE

      Oh cool

      IVY

      I am sooooooo excited

      GABRIELLE

      Me too

      Summer feels like so far away, though

      IVY

      Yeah IKWYM

      GABRIELLE

      I am having so much trouble in school

      GABRIELLE

      I am kinda hiding it

      I haven’t told my friends or my mom or dad

      I just keep thinking I will get through it

      IVY

      Oh noooo, Gabs

      What can I do to help

      GABRIELLE

      IDK

      I should prob talk to my mom

      But I hate to worry her

      IVY

      But she’s ur mom and that’s her job

      GABRIELLE

      I know but still

      GABRIELLE

      My teachers are prob gonna call her soon

      I just can’t keep up with the work

      And my friends are so smart

      So I feel so dumb

      IVY

      Gabs, don’t say that

      You’re awesome

      And people can help you

      GABRIELLE

      Ughhhhh

      I just don’t understand how it got so hard so fast

      Like out of nowhere

      IVY

      Maybe it’s just a lot all at once?

      GABRIELLE

      Maybe

      But I can’t even understand what we are doing in math

      And I feel like there are so many tests

      And we have been doing short stories in English and even they’re confusing

      And this poetry unit is gonna be impossibleeeeeee

      IVY

      Sounds super stressful

      Sorry you’re going thru this

      GABRIELLE

      Thx

      GABRIELLE

      I better study

      Ily

      IVY

      Ily2

      Prianka, Gabrielle

      PRIANKA

      Gabs

      R u still up

      GABRIELLE

      Yeah ughhh

      So much hw

      PRIANKA

      Really? I feel like it wasn’t that much

      GABRIELLE

      Oh IDK

      What’s up

      PRIANKA

      Do u want to go dress shopping together for Hannah F’s bat mitz

      Since it’s our first black tie one my mom said I could get a new dress

      Maybe ur mom wants to come, too

      GABRIELLE

      Oh maybe

      This sounds awesome

      PRIANKA

      I’ll have Mama Basak talk to ur mom

      GABRIELLE

      K

      Sounds great

      Back to hw

      Xoxo

      PRIANKA

      Nighty night

      From: Gabrielle Katz

      To: Evelyn Brickfeld

      Subject: Meeting

      Hi, Ms. Brickfeld,

      I wondered if I could meet with you during lunch today or tomorrow. Please let me know.

      Thanks, Gabby

      Hi, Pri—

      Tell everyone I’m meeting Ms. Brickfeld in guida
    nce at lunch. Remember no chatting about HF’s bat mitz. K? I feel like Cece’s feelings are hurt. Love you, Gabs

      Gabrielle, Ivy

      GABRIELLE

      Ivy, r u there

      Ik it’s the middle of school day

      But sometimes I sneak and check my phone

      K guess u r not

      Talk later

      Need to talk to u

      From: Cecily Anderson

      To: Summer in Maine Volunteer Corps Staff

      Subject: Question

      Hello,

      My name is Cecily Anderson and I signed up to be part of the Summer in Maine Volunteer Corps. I was so lucky to get a scholarship and I am so grateful. However, some scheduling glitches have come up and I may not be able to attend. I wondered also about your cancellation policy. I hope another student can get the scholarship and enjoy the opportunity. Please get back to me.

      Thank you,

      Cecily Anderson

      I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.

      —Louisa May Alcott

      Ing, are you asleep?

      No, come in

      From: Ingrid Anderson

      To: Cecily Anderson

      Subject: thoughts

      Cece,

      I’m emailing you because I’m in study hall and I finished all my work and I have been thinking about our talk last night. I’ll be home late because I have drama club and I wanted to make sure I got back to you.

      I totally see what you’re saying. I also see the dilemma. I get that you feel stuck and I get that you feel obligated to follow through with these plans. But in all fairness, you made them on your own and then others joined in. Sometimes I do think you need to go with your gut feeling. If you think you’re not going to enjoy the program, you should skip it. There are other options for the summer.

      I know you always feel a loyalty to friends and that’s what makes you so amazing, but sometimes you do have to look out for yourself, too. Also can I just say how happy I am that you’re coming to me with all of these things? I really feel like we’ve gotten closer in the past year and I am so, so happy about that. I’m so proud of you, Cece, and I love you so much.

      X Ingrid

      Gabs, hope all is okay with guidance and everything. I’m so, so sorry but I think I did talk about HF and the bat mitzvah too much. Victoria kept asking me questions! It’s like she wants to torture herself about it. And then Sage came over to our table talking about it and it all kind of unraveled. I’m really sorry. Text me later to discuss in more detail. Xox Pri

     


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