the people I imagine
waiting for me
are fast asleep
Marianne on Aylmer Street
enduring my hatred
until it rusted
and naming me higher and higher
until my view was wide
enough to love her
The master of lakes
made a haze of waterfalls
over your shoulders
and you come to me
breasts soft as sand
and hard as snail shells
The master of traffic
has you followed ceaselessly
by crystal headlights
and you come to me
with beads of sap
in your small quick kisses
The master of farmyards
tethers newborn animals
beside your long legs
and we lie apart centuries
on fields of salt
***
She brought the telephone book
yellow against her green sleeves
and white shirted bosom
She stood in the doorway
talking to the engineer
whom she favoured of us all
After she left he leaned back
and relit a mexican cigar
and spoke about mixing vodka
with milk
Now my song is in the great speakers
and it is true as anything
that makes you dream
Have you suffered
for the sake of a bigger office
Have you betrayed your pain
which was meant
to bring you here
to this altar this sacrifice
these shackles of charity
Find your way to be among us
waiting for the bus
with the children gone
and no hope but in the sweetness of each other
***
I’m sitting here alone
on Christmas day
I know, I know
it shouldn’t be this way
I been calling up some people
but everybody’s out
& I been praying to the one
it’s all about
I don’t know how I got this far
from everyone I love
or why I closed so many doors
what I was thinking of
***
Don’t come to me
with your bright ideas
Don’t talk to me
about the flowers
of this
or any other city
Your bright ideas
hurt my eyes
nor do I love
your rubber hose
the handcuffs
or the kitchen chair
***
because there was never anything better
I did in the human world
than to lie down in the fields of frankincense
with you
***
Monday March 4[?], 2012 Tremaine Front Lawn
baby, don’t remind me what it’s like
the only thing I ever cared about
wasn’t money
wasn’t fame
wasn’t family
wasn’t art
baby, don’t remind me what I miss
baby, don’t remind me what I miss
I drove a thousand miles away from this
***
April 8th 2012 Front Lawn Tremaine
C’mon brother Trouble
when you gonna quit
you stole a bunch of money
I thought that was it
***
May 22, 2012 Tremaine Tuesday afternoon
the troubles followed me
from bed to bed
i pitched my tent
wher’ere love led
no matter where
I slept and fed
the troubles followed me & {tailed me}
from bed to bed
I pitched my tent
wher’ere love led
the troubles followed
bed to bed
I moved away
when beauty fled
with beauty gone
the rest was dead
I knew too well
what Moses said
I must not touch
the body dead
with beauty gone
what’s left is dead
I tried to do
what’s hard to do
from showing up
to loving you
and loving you
that was a bitch
my self-defense
was getting rich
and buy off
your ugly greed
with every fucking thing
you need
the only news that isn’t boring is the truth
but baby you ain’t telling it
the only item you don’t want to buy is love
but everybody selling it
the sleek silver pen
it’s supposed to write upside down
in space
where I’m really going to have
nothing to write about
***
July 10, 2002
all the leaves are shining
all the birds are singing
all the wind is blowing
all the bells are ringing
please don’t make me say it anymore
I thought I’d go alone but
I’m glad I came with you
That’s a rose
and that’s a cactus
They’re the same
but they’re different too
***
I’ll try to come home
once I’ve done what I must
which is what, please tell me
please tell me what
I forgot to mention
the moon and the trees
and the murderous blood
that runs through our veins
I forgot to mention
the pillars of gold
and the screams from the dungeon
the fingernails pulled
I forgot to mention
the blank space on my heart
where nothing is written
and the plan falls apart
I forgot to mention
the unmade bed
and the card on the doorknob
says Do Not Disturb
I forgot to mention
the skin on my head
hanging in folds disheveling my face
like an unmade bed
you climb up your ladder
of rumor and lies
you {slave} work for the master
you claim to despise
and you wave at the master
you never polished
your talent enough
content to remain
a diamond rough
I’m a weakling a failure
ashamed of myself / the cards I was dealt
my balls are so big
I can’t buckle my belt
I {swear} strive to complete
before it’s too late
some mission from G-d
I can’t even locate
I can’t seem to locate
get down on your knees
this ain’t gonna pass
and pray there’s no god
to punish your ass
I moan {boast} and I bitch
at the cards I was dealt
and my balls are so big
I can’t buckle my belt
can’t look in the mirror
I’m burning with shame
but I still like to boast
I’m ahead of the game
I’m tired of women
I don’t trust the men
I’ll try to come home
as soon as it’s done
the mighty task
I can’t even locate
I’ll try to complete it
if it’s not too late
the mission the sanctified mission
I can’t even locate
that I can’t locate
you gave away the factory
and you gave away my job
you said it’s for the future {better}
and you said So help me God
you said one day I’d thank you
never gave nobody trouble
but I’m afraid it’s gonna start
You gave away the future
you said I’d have to wait
It’s for a better future
but the future’s kind of late
I see you don’t believe me
no matter what
I do
my hand upon
my mother’s grave
but that ain’t good
enough for you
I tried
I don’t know why
I didn’t care why
flying a kite
no wind & no string
worse than “nothing to lose”
no juice to be hopeless
no heart to be sad
I tried in the wind
I tried in the sand
People turning into snakes
before my very eyes
I tried to hate
I tried to forgive
I tried baby
I tried to live
I tried to die
I tried to live
***
O
Copenhagen
Copenhagen
August 24
2012
Room 510
First Hotel
The red roofs
darkened by the rain
and the eternal
beginning of a cold
***
Field Commander Cohen is wounded
call it age or love
the turret of his Sherman tank
all slippery with blood
He who was a hundred lovers
in a monk’s disguise
is asking for a cup of water
from a swarm of flies
I am the song & not the singer
take his body
take his spirit
Not the boundary
but the centre
Save your anger, angels
the days are coming soon
when the earth will be
a mirror
the sun will be a cobweb
the moon will be a
spider
coming near
call him Dylan
call him Jesus
call him Mister Rockefeller
I want to reach the people
that the master did not reach
***
maybe tomorrow will be better
and the banner raised again
for the sisterhood of women
& the brotherhood of men
***
just to breathe the air
and sip the rare
nectar of us together
to give you something
you might read
down the road or never
***
All of the lights
All of the sea broken lights
of the river
All of the rhymeless thoughts of the hungry
***
Look at me I’m all alone
I’m nobody’s fool
I’m Nobody’s Fool
and deeper than experience
I felt a woman presence
not like anyone I’d left
or anyone imagined.
***
I swear that I’ll be true
to the uniform I wore
to the flag that I salute
and the promises I swore
I’ll try to do my duty
just like I did before
but I can’t hold you, baby,
to my heart no more
I know it’s us or them
In the world that men call real
& a flower needs a stem
you can’t grow these golden flowers
if the stems be not of steel
tho’ the stem be made of steel
Can’t blame you for the cruelty
when the killer’s at the door
But I can’t hold you, baby,
to my heart no more.
and I’m here between your safety
and the killer at the door
***
I bow my head
in gratitude
to those who gave
who give so much
so I can write
my diary
I think, therefore I am
right up there with
Mary had a Little Lamb
***
and ankle deep in a pool of blood
your uncle cries at last
“I don’t care much for the movie
but the popcorn is unsurpassed”
& establish the terror
you long to command
***
When I saw
how easily
the hand became
a claw
I began to understand
the study of the law
***
Some people got the blues
Some people don’t
Some people don’t got food
That’s the truth
I didn’t say that it was news
I could not slip away
without telling you
that I died in Greece
was buried in that
place where the donkey
is tethered to the olive tree
I will always be there
To all of you
with whom I ate the fish
and clicked my glass
& never said a word
before I go
I want to say hello
from the stranger who
lived among you
***
out of the night
the trees step forward
a solitary bird
sharpens its song
on the stone-grey {mist} dawn
***
Her bread is very sweet
She baked it by herself
in an oven on a hill above the sea
an oven that I built
when I lived with her last year
when we weren’t doing much
but keeping warm and near
We watched the different sailboats
of the rich and of the poor
the travelers from the cove
and the [?] from Gibraltar
We watched them
then a smoke ring that came from Lebanon
and we weren’t doing much
so we waved at everyone
She phoned me from a long way off
just the other night
She’s working in a private club
and she doesn’t mind the life
She meant to talk 3 minutes
while they showed a silent movie
but we weren’t very busy
so we spoke till it was bright
She asked if I was busy {happy}
and what the weather’s like
we weren’t doing very much
so we spoke till it was light
so we whispered half the night
I wasn’t doing very much
& the weather’s right
& the weather’s been all right
She phoned me
from a long way off
just the other night
She’s working in a
Playboy club
She doesn’t mind the life
She asked if I was busy
& what the weather’s like
I told her that I loved her
& the weather was all right
She phoned me from a long way off
just the other night
She’s working in a private club
She doesn’t mind the life
She asked if I was busy {happy}
& what the weather’s like
I wasn’t doing much
She spent a whole week’s pay to learn
the weather’d been all right
& the weather’d been all right
I know that you can love me
if you’d only try
It’s true I killed your brother
& I’m aiming at your eye
but these are only droplets
on the water wheel
save me all your energy
& tell me how you feel
Your songs are very sad
I hope that you will sing them
your poems are very long
I hope that you will bring them
Just leave them on my desk
I’ll put your name in lights
& pick yourself a girl, may I
suggest the one in tights
***
first you were a clean-shaven fool
now you’re a fool with a beard
***
what the old laws mean
why they distinguish between
what is clean
and what is unclean
symbols in the flesh
have been given you
so that you may know
when you may approach
one another
I write this on the
borderline
who insist that the
full moon should be
new and the new moon
should be full
I do not speak of sin
but only readiness and
hospitality & the wisdom
of restraint
***
you’ll never understand
you don’t need to understand
you’re not supposed to understand
what it means to be a man
to feel this overwhelming love
to be so awkward
and so tough
and to know it’s not enough
to say I want you baby
I want you
with my dying breath
***
Aug 21, 1989 Mt. Baldy
I take the train
but I do not dare
to really look at anybody
riding with me there
some are poor some are rich
some are black some are white
but I don’t know which is which
in my secret life
& I’ll never be able
to bring a little baby
from my belly to the cradle
so what if there’s a war
so what if there’s a fight
there is no [finer?] sight
for ever & forever
nothing can be better
than the man and the
woman together
***
Beautiful are the nights in Canaan
How long will you live in my heart,
O homeland
Sleep my darling girl
A girl is expecting her lover
She lies in bed listening
to the train
Under a greenwood tree
two boys are sitting, talking
about a maid, and nothing
else matters to them.