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    Life Without Hope

    Page 21
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      In the background I heard Tomica suck her teeth, hatin’ on a

      nigga. Bitch! I retrieved the chunky iced out chain I took from

      Suge Knight’s cockeyed twin back at the hotel. Putting it around

      my neck, I walked over to the table and began placing the dope

      into Ziplock bags. I would just have to get someone to cut up the

      rest later.

      “What are you doing?” Trina asked.

      “What it look like I’m doing? I’m getting out of this joint.”

      Trina and Tomica exchanged glances. Actually what I was really

      doing was following the number one code of the game: never shit

      at where you got to eat. Meaning, never keep dope where you got

      to lay your head. Never!

      “Gimme the keys to the car,” I said to Trina. She hesitated

      with a look of despair the way a woman does when she wants to

      ask a question, but is unsure of her boundaries. She reached into

      her purse and gave me the keys. I placed half of the powdered

      cocaine that was at the sink into a bag, and left some. I walked to

      the door. I could feel their eyes boring through by back.

      “Come here,” I turned, talking to Trina. She walked toward

      me. If her brown eyes could talk, hers would have plainly begged

      me to stay. I spoke a whisper against her ear lobe palming her ass

      through the soft material of the dress. “Dig, Shouty, I’ll be back in

      a second.”

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      “It’s going to take some hours for the stuff to dry,” Trina said

      in her attempt to get me to stay. I could hear the somber plea in

      the tone of her voice.

      “If you like, you can give the rest of the powder on the sink to

      your homegirl.”

      I bent down and pecked her on the lips. She reached up, las-

      soing my neck with her arms and kissed me like I was a soldier

      about to go off to war.

      “Baby, don’t go. I bought a nice sexy Victoria’s Secret outfit I

      wanted to wear for you.” As Trina whispered I looked at Tomica.

      She was watching us closely. That reminded me of something. I

      peeled Trina’s arms off of me, reached into my pocket removing

      the diamond bracelet, and gave it to her. Tomica damn near fell

      out of the chair when she saw that.

      “Ohmigod! Ohmigod! It’s beauuuutiful!” Trina exclaimed

      after she saw the price tag and began to do the two-step like I used

      to see women do at my father’s church when they claimed to have

      the Holy Ghost. As I walked out of the door, I thought I heard

      Tomica call my name.

      *****

      153

      Chapter Eleven

      Chapter Eleven

      “The Jump-Off ”

      – Life –

      Trina’s Lexus Coupe was nice, real nice. The inside was hand-

      somely designed with expensive oak wood and plush butter soft

      leather interior. The seats felt like I was riding in the cockpit of a

      jet. Yeah, I could tell her daddy was deep in the game. He spoiled

      her rotten. I placed the shopping bag of cocaine on the seat next

      to me, with Jesus on my lap, my hand resting on it in case there

      was any drama, and my mind on my money.

      As I drove, the air felt crisp and cool. I was on a mission to

      stack some chips. While driving I counted out twenty ounces, my

      mind str uggling with the mental transition of being a jackman, to

      not get jacked. Easier said than done.

      *****

      I parked down the street from the house that I rented for

      Blazack and the crew. I walked in the shadows of semi-darkness

      and hid the dope underneath a tree in a hole I dug. After ward, I

      got back into the car and drove the short distance to the house.

      There were so many cars parked in the yard and driveway, I had

      to park in the middle of the street. As I walked up, people were

      hanging out everywhere. Females lounged out front on the porch.

      It’s hard to believe that only a few hours ago this place was for

      rent. Mad Ball and Gucci looked up to see me. They could tell by

      the expression on my face my mood was not good. I walked inside

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      L i f e

      and saw that the place was jam packed. In the kitchen, I saw Dirty

      throwing dice. They were gambling, playing Low. He looked at

      me and said something slick out the side of his mouth, something

      about how much money did I have, and then he threw the dice. I

      shot him a look that said,

      don’t fuck with me

      . Twine walked up and

      grabbed my hand. He was smoking a blunt, eyes red, pants hang-

      ing off his ass.

      “Nigga, you been killing ‘em huh?” he said checking out my

      gear and running his fingers over my necklace.

      “Listen man,” I talked between clinched teeth fighting to con-

      trol my temper. This was becoming a habit dealing with these nig-

      gas. I was trying to stop it before it started. “Ya’ll didn’t come

      down here to party, this is strictly business. Clear these mutha-

      fuckas out the house!”

      I knew that there was no way that Twine was going to take

      orders from me, at least not at this stage of the game, but now was

      the time to employ my will for the sake of building a team and

      bleeding this town out of its riches. “Where’s Blazack at?” I asked.

      Twine pointed at the back room giving me a look like he was try-

      ing to read where I was coming from with the attitude.

      I knocked on the door. Heard a voice say come in. I walked

      into what looked like a gun show. “Damn it man!” I intoned.

      “Where did ya get all dem shits from?” There were about a half

      dozen AK47s lined up on the wall, a Mac-10, Mac-11, various

      handguns, a Thomson submachine gun with a special shoulder

      holster to hold three thousand rounds of ammunition. On the bed

      next to Blazack was his trusty double barrel 12 gauge sawed off

      shotgun, the same one that he pointed at my nuts earlier that day.

      On the bed was a book titled

      The Art of War

      . Blazack just lay

      there, looking up at the ceiling. He was the most reclusive man

      that I had ever known. His quiet could be disturbing at times. It

      gave you the feeling that he was always plotting. I hoped he was

      not plotting about me.

      Slowly he rose from the bed ignoring my disapproval of his

      arsenal of guns.

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      L i f e

      “I had to use my hands,” Blazack said, flexing his fingers. His

      hands were huge. He now examined them as if it were his first

      time really seeing them, their power and strength.

      “What?” I asked, confused as to what he was talking about.

      “He wouldn’t die.” Blazack continued. The scowl on his face

      was that of a man reliving a bad memory.

      “I strangled dat nigga for damn near ten minutes. He would-

      n’t die.”

      “Who?” I asked aggravated.

      “Dre’,” Blazack said clinching his fist.

      “Oh.” The sounds left my lips, with it the grimy reality of who

      he was talking about. I stared, mesmerized. Once again I won-

      dered about the mystic of life’s greatest myster y–death, and if the

    &nbs
    p; people who kill are haunted by the very souls they stole. There was

      a glassy look of a madman possessed by demons on Blazack’s face

      as he examined his hands like they were murder weapons he

      wished he could discard. I think that to some degree, the dead are

      still alive, they live vividly in the minds of the people that killed

      them. At least with Blazack that was the case.

      “Yo, I let the cracka in the van go and tied him to a tree.

      Someone’ll find him in a few days, maybe. But Dre’… dat nigga

      ain’t never comin’ back,” Blazack said with malice as his eyes nar-

      rowed, giving me the full intent of what he meant. The moment

      lingered. I was lost for words. I noticed in the corner of the room

      there was a stick of dynamite and some other kind of explosives.

      Just when I was about to ask about that rat muthafucka, his state-

      ment completely caught me off guard. I knew what he was hint-

      ing at.

      “My nigga, on ever ything I love, when the shit went down in

      the hotel with the nigga trying to set me up, I had to out-run hel-

      icopters and some mo shit. Hooked up with this broad, if she did-

      n’t help me, I’d be fucked up right now, that’s how I ended up

      here.”

      “Uh huh,” Blazack said with all the interest of a man watch-

      ing paint dry. “I talked with Lil Cal’s mom this morning. Told her

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      L i f e

      to ask about you, since you da one that introduced us to Dre’ in

      the first place.” Blazack left no doubt in my mind his suspicion of

      me, as well as his loyalty to Lil Cal, death before dishonor. He

      would kill me in a heartbeat. The feelings were mutual. Our real

      common bond was only Lil Cal. I knew I would have to accept

      the dark cloud of treason that loomed over my head. For some rea-

      son the dope game is like that. It permeates on paranoia and fear

      for the lack of trust. Trust is like a good woman forced to go bad,

      she will always be needed and unfortunately used and abused to

      serve like hell in the dope game. If there were no trust, there

      would be no lies.

      I ignored Blazack’s acid remarks. The reality was, I needed him

      as much as he needed me.

      I retrieved five ounces from the bag. His eyes lit up like novas

      as I passed them to him. Maybe he was thinking about searching

      me to see if I was I wearing a wire. He hesitated. Through the dark

      pools of his eyes I read his suspicion of me.

      “What you want me to do wit dis?” he asked, still not touch-

      ing the dope.

      “Keep ‘em,” I replied, tossing the five cookies to him.

      “Getting paper?” His faced cracked into a sinister grin.

      “Jus a lil sumpin’ sumpin’,” I drawled slyly, as my mind deftly

      tried to search for the holes in his mental armor, an avenue for my

      sales pitch in recruiting him and the rest of them Oplica niggas.

      “Dig, playa. I’m tryna build a team right here in Tally. Open

      up shop, drop some weight, boom dis muthafuckin town and get

      ghost ‘fo the spot get hot. Nawaimsayin’?” As I talked, in the

      background I heard JT Money rapping,

      Bitch shake what yo

      momma gave ya

      .

      “I want you to be my lieutenant. I’ll pay you five G’s a week

      once we get on our feet.”

      I waited for his response. Blazack was a natural born leader.

      Since his man Lil Cal was gone, he might rather rob than work for

      another nigga. I was aware that he could take what I said as being

      disrespectful on the strength of the caliber of nigga he thought he

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      L i f e

      was. He stood all five feet seven, two hundred thirty pounds of

      brute force.

      “Nigga you got me fucked up!” All that platinum and dia-

      monds in his mouth sparkled for emphasis. I braced myself, felt

      my hand with a mind of its own inching toward Jesus in my draw-

      ers.

      Then Blazack smiled like the sun coming from behind dark

      clouds. “You damn right I want to be down wit your team.” I felt

      a wave of relief wash over me. After ward we sat down and talked.

      I explained to him how we had to act like niggas on a mission, and

      to stop the dumb shit, as well as the partying. I didn’t tell him that

      I had a connection so large they could use the scales for elephants

      to weigh the dope. In time he would find that out for himself.

      Trina’s cousin was a major Colombian drug lord of both “Boy”

      and “Girl” meaning cocaine and heroin. Her cousin liked my hus-

      tle. I never looked back. My life would never be the same.

      *****

      That night I drove through Frenchtown. It was dark. Most of

      the streetlights were shot out by drug dealers for the protection of

      the night. A lone luminous light shined within the dense fog of

      smoke and air pollution. Throngs of people moved like cattle to

      the pulsating rhythm of the ghetto. Every Black section has one.

      A strip of town where everyone hangs out, flossing in their cars,

      clothes and jewelry, parlaying their hustle–get in where you fit in.

      A place where a man could lose his life over the throw of the dice.

      I’ve learned that the element of surprise, if used effectively, is

      a brilliant strategy in winning over your adversaries. It could also

      get you shot. I made up my mind days ago that I was going to

      make my move, boldly. Fuck ‘em! I felt like all hustlers feel when

      they’re hungr y. I needed eat!

      *****

      I finally spotted Nina Brown. She was in a crowd of about two

      or three hundred people. The scene was rowdy. I heard gunshots

      in the distance. I was having second thoughts about my plan.

      Stevey D and his henchmen were a few yards from Nina. They

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      were all sitting in front of the pool hall. He was leaning against a

      blue tricked out Caddy with a ragtop, sitting on dubs. Back in the

      day if you had a clean caddy on expensive wheels, you was the shit.

      Rubbing up against him was a thick redbone. She wore skin tight

      blue jeans with holes near her ass cheeks. She was fat-to-death, ass

      for days. I drove up with Trina’s system bumping Dr. Dre’ and

      Snoop’s joint talking ‘bout, “If your bitch talks shit you know I got

      to put the slap down.” I hopped out of the car, and boldly walked

      into the lion’s den. The element of surprise, I had Jesus tucked in

      my drawers, made sure they could see the bulge. Niggas jaws

      dropped like old folks with no teeth. Stevey D shoved the girl off

      his lap. I could tell he wanted to go for his strap. I walked up

      humbly, and never took my eyes off him. The expression on Nina

      Brown’s face was that of complete shock, like seeing a dead man

      walking.

      “Whuz up, yo?” I said to Stevey D. He had on a thick her-

      ringbone, a white shirt, a pair of starched Dickies and a pair of

      black Nikes. The redbone was eyeballing me. From the expression

      on her face I could tell she could sense something was about to go

      down. “I told you I was comin’ back ta break bread wit cha,” I

      said, smiling with more gaiet
    y than I was actually feeling. Stevey

      D bunched his face, crinkling his nose, the way people do when

      they smell something foul. He then looked to check both ends of

      the street like he was going to start blasting.

      “I don’t believe dis nigga,” he said tensely while shaking his

      head at me. The crowd was starting to circle us. The tension was

      tight as a fat lady climbing a rope. I felt a glaze of sweat on my

      forehead. “You got some’tin for me.”

      “Sho’ll do,” I drawled. He laughed and looked around at his

      crew. They followed his lead and laughed too. He walked up and

      placed his hand on my shoulder in a friendly gesture, like the spi-

      der introducing himself to the fly.

      “Let me holla at you for a sec,” I said, walking to the car. I

      needed to get out into the open.

      “Yo D, you aight?” one of his peeps asked. He threw up his

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      L i f e

      hand. “Yea, I’m aight.”

      I was parked in the middle of the street with the engine run-

      ning. We got in the car. “Nice ride,” Stevey D said, rubbing his

      hands on the oak wood dashboard. I ignored him and hollered out

      the window for Nina Brown, signaling for her to get in the car. As

      I pulled off I threw an ounce into Stevey D’s lap.

      “What you want for dis?” he asked, never taking his eyes off

      the dope.

      “That’s yours.”

      “Mine?”

      “I told you I was going to bless you when I came back.”

      “Tr ue, true, true,” he intoned, shaking his head.

      “Bet that up my nigga.” I could hear the delight in his voice.

      I also knew that my kindness could be taken for a sign of weak-

      ness but he had something that I wanted–this town. He extended

      his fist, I hit it with a mean dap.

      “Let me buy some of that off ya, it’s a drought in town.”

      Ain’t no way in hell I was going to sell this cat some dope. A

      hustler’s dream is to have a spot on lock down and be the only

      man holding. That’s like cornering the entire market of Wall

      Street, having the only commodity.

      “I’m fucked up right now, I can’t sell you nothing, but when I

      get on my feet, I gotcha.” He twisted his mouth the way people

      do when they want to say, “Don’t piss on me and tell me it’s rain-

     


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