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    Life Without Hope


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      Life

      Life

      By Leo L. Sullivan

      This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places, and incidents

      are a product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to real

      events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

      Published by Sullivan Productions, LLC

      Copyright

      ©

      2008 by Leo Sullivan

      978

      0

      9762345

      9

      9

      ISBN-13:

      -

      -

      -

      -

      Library of Congress Control Number:

      2005930724

      Sullivan Productions, LLC

      P.O. Box 1342

      Decatur, GA 30031-1342

      Tel.: 404-433-7174

      osiris_scribe@yahoo.com

      ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

      First, I would like to thank God. To my loving mother, I am your

      only child – I know that I have taken you through hell and back.

      One day you’re going to answer the door bell and I’m going to be

      standing there with open arms. I promise I’ll never leave you

      again. I love ya Ma!

      Taya Baker, my confidant. You held me down. Ever y Black

      man is given one ebony angel in his life time, you are mine. You

      showed me that every real brotha has to have a strong sista in his

      life, that balance like some rite of passage to manhood. First you

      must learn how to love a "Black Woman". Love ya Booboo.

      To my nigga Lateef Varo, trapped behind enemy lines on Fed.

      We will continue to engage the enemy for our freedom. Keep yo

      head up!

      To my sista Assata Shakur, Sundiata Acoli, Marilyn Buck and

      all the other comrades who dedicated their lives to our struggle,

      peace and blessing with God’s speed. Afeni Shakur, thanks for

      keeping Tupac’s legacy alive. Not to forget about dem Chi-Town

      47th street G.D.’s my ole stumping grounds. Sarasota, Florida, the

      home team. Big props go out to dem niggaz in that ‘trape’ in Opa-

      Locka, Florida. Twon, wuz up!

      Hellema publications, girl you ass in just too busy, thanks for

      being there. Tajuacla & Jack Parker and their book club. I would

      be remiss if I forgot to give mad love to my nigga Marvin Johnson,

      aka Blazack. May we never have to take a trip up that road again

      for dem ‘chips’. Iras in Hot Atlanta FM 89.3 get at me. To my

      partner Wayne Stone and his family and his son Jr.

      Communications is the key to winning any war. S. Lindsay, exhale

      and let it go. To my daughter Desire Monae Har vey that I have

      never had a chance to hold, I love baby girl. Ashley McMillion and

      Dwight Williams II thanks for your support.

      iii

      To my dude Clifford Senter a.k.a. "Fateem" and his sis

      Laurita, also Professor Akinyele at Georgia State University

      African studies – y’all missing in action. To my dude Gucci out the

      bottom in Miami. To Phyllis Murphy, my baby mama, it ain’t over

      yet!

      Fo-real fo-real, Vickie Stringer and her side kick Tammy are

      the real Gangstaz in this industry. To my editor, Cynthia Parker

      and to Mia McPherson and the entire TCP family, thanks for let-

      ting me shine. I came so close to signing with another company

      that I just found out that did not have my best interest at heart.

      Leon Blue, it was you that sparked the flame for this joint. Good

      luck with your company, "InfraRead". Also, to Victor Martin and

      Jason Poole, thank you for paving the way.

      Most importantly to my readers: Thank you! In this book I am

      giving you my very best. This was the closest I could take you into

      "that world" and keep it gangsta without catching another feder-

      al indictment. Also, it was important for me to make a statement

      in my writing, to be conscious and with a message. To those I for-

      got to mention on paper, don’t worr y, you’re in my heart.

      Visit my website at: WWW.LEOSULLIVAN.COM. Tell me

      what you think, or you can write me directly at: P.O.Box 725

      Edgefield S.C. 29824.

      iv

      Dedication

      This book is dedicated to my mentor and best friend in memory

      of his son Tupac Shakur (God bless his soul). Mutulu, there aren’t

      enough words in any language to express my love for you, my

      teacher, my mentor, the father that I never had. You treated me

      like I was your own son. For me it was a blessing to have spent

      nearly ten years of my life under your diligent guidance. You

      forced my mind to go to another level, to a plateau outside the

      mundane box of limitations that unconsciously some Blacks have

      been trained to place on our minds. You embraced my writing,

      nur tured it. Had me writing lengthy essays and treatise. You had

      me on the radio doing poetry, speaking in front of packed audi-

      ences. I was scared to death! Remember? You told me that they

      had to let me in the door. We would argue, people would walk by

      and see us yelling at each other. I’ll never forget the day they

      moved me to another plantation (prison) after all those years of

      being around you, I was crushed! One day I set down to write you

      a letter and I just cried…and cried…well, finally, I’m here at the

      door just like you said, "Knock! Knock!"

      Dr. Mutulu Shakur, I love you my nigga. I hope we meet

      again!

      v

      The author regrets the vulgar and degrading language used to

      depict the characters in this book. Especially those made in refer-

      ence to Black women; however, he feels that it is a true and accu-

      rate account of the plight of Black life in terms of the vernacular

      and how urban impoverished Black Americans view themselves.

      Unfortunately, this book may be viewed as socially incorrect by

      today’s standards, thus tarnishing the rose colored glasses that

      most of today’s Black writers write from. The reality is men abuse

      women, and like it or not, Black America is caught up in the yoke

      of a severe AIDS epidemic.

      How can America be the richest, industrious nation in the

      world, but yet choose to spend more money incarcerating young

      Black men than on the entire educational budget? Only by exam-

      ining ourselves realistically within, will we be able to find a viable

      solution to help ourselves. Since time immemorial, someone has

      been determined to destroy us! Humanity.

      "…I’m speaking as a victim of this American system. I see

      America through the eyes of the victim. I don’t see any American

      dream; I see an American nightmare…"

      - Malcom X, April 3, 1964

      Chapter One

      Chapter One

      “The Set-up”

      1992

      I watched her as she slept. The rise and fall of her brown succu-

      lent breasts beckoned me. A beacon of light shined through the

      worn out curtains, illuminating the pellucid cur ves of her beauti-

      ful body. Nubile femininity captured o
    n the cinematic screen of

      my mind. Once again I thought about rolling off into her, bury-

      ing myself in her moist womanhood. The mounds of her sensuous

      flesh I could molest as from a mental escapism, she could be my

      sanctuar y, at least for that infinite moment in time.

      I was 26 years old, not even four months out of the joint and

      was back to throwing bricks at the chain gang as the old folks used

      to say–meaning, I was hustling with little regard for the law.

      As I lay in bed, in a fleabag hotel room, with a broken air con-

      ditioner and no immediate plans for the future, I dreamed as all

      hustlers do. If I could just hit that one big lick, I would get out of

      the game.

      On the dresser was my best friend–my gun. A big ole .44

      Magnum named Jesus. Actually, it wasn’t me that named it Jesus,

      its victims did when they were forced to look down its long intim-

      idating barrel. Next to it laid eighteen cocaine rocks and about

      three hundred dollars–my entire life savings–and the keys to Lil

      Cal’s tricked out Chevy, along with a pack of condoms. Cal was

      out of town and I was responsible for his ride.

      1

      L i f e

      Lying next to me in bed was Kim, a bonafide freak. I reached

      over and caressed her nipples. She stirred in her sleep lassoing a

      long leg on top of me. Her elbow came to rest on my morning

      erection. She crooned groggily.

      “You asleep?”

      “Naw, I was just lying here thinking.”

      “Thinking ‘bout what?”

      I felt her fingers walking across my thigh toward my morning

      glory. It was hot, stuffy and we were nude. The bed sheets stuck to

      our bodies. Her hand found its destination, stroking me with a

      determination, trying to rekindle an ember of passion from the

      night before. The gold bangles on her wrist jangled, signaling in

      chimes, her urgency. In one quick motion she climbed on top of

      me positioning herself to take me in. Her sultry breath a whisper

      against my cheek.

      “Want me to serve you?” she flirted–meaning oral sex.

      A hot, salivating tongue trailed my chest as she lowered her

      head. You see, at 30, Kim could do things with her mouth that

      made men curse God in ecstasy. She had a gorgeous body with

      generous curves, a small waist and a plump behind. She was light

      skinned, with a smooth complexion and a slight Bugs Bunny over-

      bite that somehow gave her beauty an alluring sexual appeal.

      However, she was the kind of broad that made a brotha appreci-

      ate tinted windows, cheap hotels and late night creeps. Kim had

      one major flaw–she was a powder head. Over the years it looked

      like the more cocaine she snorted the finer she would get. What

      made her so interesting to hustlers was the fact that she had a col-

      lege degree, a good job and she knew how to talk proper like white

      folks with all them big words. She ran through all the dope boys

      like water. She had two vacuums that could suck you dry, the one

      in her mouth, and the other one in her nose. Both were lethal.

      So I guess by now you have figured it out, I was in this sleazy

      ass hotel room tricking with Kim. She was about to gobble me up,

      her vacuum was on my stomach. There was a knock at the door. I

      had to wrestle her off of me as I got up, grabbing my gun while

      2

      L i f e

      putting on my pants. I padded over to the door and looked over

      my shoulder placing my finger over my lips to quiet Kim. No one

      was supposed to know I was here. A large cockroach labored across

      the door as I looked through the peephole. Dre’ and some other

      dude were standing outside the door. I removed the chair from

      underneath the doorknob, and then I remembered to put on my

      shoes and shirt. Placing the gun in the spine of my back, I opened

      the door. I had not seen Dre’ since I went to the joint, and from

      the look on his face, he was not happy to see me. He owed me a

      few grand.

      “Wha …What …What’s up L?” he stuttered. “I saw Lil Cal’s

      car out front. The lady at the desk said he was in here.”

      “Naw, Lil Cal gone out of town. I’m keeping the car,” I said,

      sensing something. I stepped to the side as I invited them in. Dre’

      was hesitant. I noticed the big dude nudge him in. He had on

      some jewelry, too much for this side of town. Dre’ read my mind

      as he fidgeted.

      “This is my cousin, Big Mike, from California.” The platinum

      chain on his neck must have cost a fortune. Mike looked like a

      dark skinned version of Suge Knight, only taller and with an ath-

      letic build like the kind of man that works out a lot. I couldn’t read

      his eyes because he was wearing dark shades. That disturbed me.

      One thing was for certain, dude had cheddar. He stroked my

      curiosity, Kim’s too. She could smell cocaine and money like a

      police K-9. From the look in her eyes she was on to his scent. Her

      greedy eyes flashed dollar signs as she got up from the bed wear-

      ing only the sheet like a sexy toga. Giving them an “I go good with

      coke and a smile” pose, she stood, standing back on her legs dis-

      playing a lot of peek-a-boo cleavage and the flaming red hair on

      her crotch left little doubt in anyone’s mind as to what was what.

      As she sashayed to the bathroom, there was a moment of silence,

      the way men give homage to a nice round ass.

      “Yo, wuz up,” I said, trying to get a feel for what was going on.

      “Nuttin’. I was lookin for Lil Cal,” Dre’ said. It looked like his

      eyes were trying to tell me something. The thought of money

      3

      L i f e

      made me ignore him. Big mistake.

      “Ya’ll trying to get some yae?” I questioned, meaning cocaine.

      “Yes,” the big man replied.

      “No,” Dre’ said simultaneously.

      The big dude took the lead with Dre’ looking as uncomfort-

      able as a nigga at a Clan demonstration. I was thinking of the five

      grand he owed me and now I got his ass trapped in a raggedy ass

      hotel room. Wasn’t it Tupac that said, “Revenge is sweet as pussy.”

      A lot of nights I used to lay up in my cell in the joint thinking

      about all the niggas that had crossed me. Dre’ did not even send

      me a dime. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. The

      Suge Knight-looking cat fired up a blunt. Between puffs he said,

      “We tr ying to cop a couple ounces of crack.”

      “Crack?” I repeated incredulously because real hustlers never

      refer to dope as crack. Dre’ just rolled his eyes up at the ceiling. I

      thought I had it figured out; Dre’ was about to take this lame for

      his scratch and did not want me in on it. Just then, as if on cue,

      Kim strutted out of the bathroom. Her hair and makeup were

      immaculately done as if she were ready to pose for one of those

      glamour magazines. She was scantily dressed in a black sequined

      miniskirt and high heels. She was the poison to the dope game.

      Money, whores, cars and clothes are all accentuates that lead a

      brotha to prison or worse. Kim’s perfume fumigated–all eyes we
    re

      on her as she sat on the bed, crossing her long legs seductively. In

      the back of my mind, I was plotting on how to relieve Dre’ and

      the big lame of their cash. Kim was working her charm on the

      lame like a boa constrictor charming a bird. His eyes were glued

      to the meaty exposure of her thighs as she gave him that “pussy for

      hire” smile. The whole time Dre’ was looking at me with some-

      thing in his eyes, something that later on, I would regret that I did

      not recognize.

      I walked to the door opening it wide. “Kim, I’ll holla at you

      later.”

      Her brow frowned at me as if to say,

      I know that you can’t pos-

      sibly be talking to me

      . She opened her mouth to speak, but thought

      4

      L i f e

      better of it. With hands poised on her hips, she just looked at me.

      “I’ll be down in a second, wait for me in the car.”

      Her nose was running, she needed a snort. She took one last

      look at the big dude, did her mental telepathy thing that whores

      do when they are trying to catch a trick. She turned to me, “L,

      don’t keep me waiting,” and spun on her heels. I shut the door.

      “How much money you got?” I asked, talking to no one in

      particular. The big man shifted his weight uncomfortably. Dre’

      knew what was about to go down. I had blood in my eyes.

      “Yo, L, man I stopped by your mama’s crib and wasn’t no one

      home. In fact, I did not even know you were out until just now.”

      He tried to smile, but all his face unveiled was a mask of fear.

      There was an adrenaline like raw energy, it started with the heart-

      beat, sweaty palms and it completely seized control of a man as

      well as his victims. The kind of power that only a gun can bring.

      Power, I was feeling it. I reached into the small of my back

      pulling out Jesus, the savior. For the first time, big man removed

      his shades. He was severely cockeyed. I couldn’t tell what the fuck

      he was looking at. Dre’ mumbled something about he thought we

      were tight. I star ted to smack his ass upside the head with the bar-

      rel of the gun.

      “Just let me get them chips you owe me, it should be about

      five grand with interest,” I said with a menacing scowl on my face.

     


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