“Well...” I draw my knees into my chest. “The sea is never the same. Each time the tide comes in, it’s different. And when the tide changes, the plants and animals adjust.” Neshama raises her eyebrows. “Like seaweed. It retains water and stays damp.”
“That interests you? Dampness?”
I sigh. “No, I like the way it...fluctuates.”
“So you’re just interested in the change?” Neshama looks at me skeptically.
“Well, yeah, and that it finds a new equilibrium. Balance.”
“It changes and it’s the same?”
“Exactly.”
Neshama groans.
“Look at this.” I pull out the canister of shells Ima brought from Israel and pour them into my hand.
“What about them?”
“Ima found them in the middle of the desert.”
“Yeah, so?”
“Well, that means the ocean was there once.”
“And?”
“Well, it’s like the stamp of Hashem.”
“Oh, don’t start with the God crap.”
“No, this is huge. Forget the Bible and Abba’s rules. There are shells in the desert. Don’t you get it? The ocean and land came before all that.”
“Didn’t you already know that, dinosaur girl?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t matter who owns it or puts up buildings. Hashem is first in nature, not in the temples or laws done in his honor.”
“And that’s why you want to see the ocean?”
“Partly, and ‘cause it’s beautiful.”
Neshama flicks her hair over her shoulder. “If you say so.”
We’re silent a moment. “I think I’ll climb the tree.” I put my mug down on the porch.
Neshama watches me swing myself up into the arch of branches, settle in the crook of the tree.
“You know what I want?” I say.
“What’s that?”
“I want everything Ima says about how to get married.”
“You do?”
“Yep.”
“El, you don’t want to marry some yeshiva bucher Abba chooses for you.”
“That’s not what I mean. I want someone to say, ‘I think I know someone who’d be perfect for you.’ I’d like to meet that person and talk to them until I know if they are my b’shert.”
“And if they are?”
“Then I’d hold their hand.”
“You’re a nut.”
“No, I’m not.” I pull a chestnut leaf off the tree, carefully tear it along its threads.
Neshama tips her head. “What Ima said is about men.”
“Not necessarily.”
“Ellie, gimme a break.”
“So it’s a little unconventional. You never know.”
“You’re practical and yet such a dreamer.” Neshama stands up.
“I want everything.”
“And you think you can have it?”
“I think I can.”
I want a nice girl in a long purple dress, who likes trees and who knows all the Shabbos blessings. I want a girl with hair and legs like Lindsay, someone as smart as Neshama and with as wicked a tongue as Bubbie. And we’ll live by the sea.
THE LAST DAY of school dawns sticky and hot. “I’m never wearing this uniform again!” Neshama twirls across the kitchen, her skirt fanning out. She rolls it over at the waist until her knees show.
“I have a surprise for you,” I say.
“Uh-huh.” Neshama digs into a grapefruit.
“Just you wait.”
“Sure.” Neshama bounces in her chair.
“I have a question you’re going to like for Q and A.”
“Really?” She puts down her spoon. “You’re not going to ask—”
“Maybe.”
“Tell me.”
I smile and turn away.
“Ellie.” She stands up and grabs my waist, starts tickling me.
“Okay, okay, stop. It’s about the land, the land.”
“You mean why it’s only for us?”
“No.”
“What then?”
“You’ll have to wait.” I stick out my tongue.
We file into the beit hamidrash after lunch, our voices louder than usual. Since we don’t have classes during the summer, Rabbi Lowenstein always tries to talk about T’sha B’Av, the day of mourning for the fall of the Temple on the last day of the school. No one can muster the proper mourning attitude because of the holidays.
“Are there any questions?” Rabbi Lowenstein scans the rows of girls. The back of my skirt sticks to my thighs, the vinyl seat hot and sweaty. The fans above swirl the humid air. Traffic noise wafts through the open windows. Rabbi Lowenstein’s eyes rest briefly on Neshama. I hesitate before raising my hand. All eyes turn to me. “Ellisheva, a question? Good.” He smiles and beckons for me to come up to the podium. I take out my Chumash and get my notes out of my skirt. I rest my shaking hands on the flat wooden surface. Neshama watches me, her hands tucked under her knees, her blue eyes intent. I smile at her, take a deep breath and spread my notes in front of me.
“I want to ask about what the Torah has to say,” I pause, clearing my throat, “about the land, about how we are polluting our air, water and land. I’ve been trying to find some answers in my Chumash. At first glance, I don’t think the Torah is very concerned with how we treat the land at all, just that as Jews we claim it as a people as our own. I know people weren’t worried about the environment back then, they were nomadic, but I did come up with some helpful passages.”
I glance at Reb Lowenstein. He nods for me to continue.
“For example, if you’ll turn to Shofetim 20:2, you’ll see it outlines rules for protecting trees during times of warfare.”
I look up at Neshama. She beams back at me.
IN THE EVENING, the fading sun slants across the folding chairs at Ima’s synagogue. A warm breeze blows through open windows. We stand for the prayers, Ima on my left and Neshama on my right. Ima sings, “Havou le donai.” Praise the Lord, and Neshama’s voice rises with hers. I turn to stare at her, listening to her voice low and sweet, climbing around the notes. I join in too. Ima’s smile stretches wide, her eyes sparkling. Neshama winks at me, and turns to show me her fingers tightly crossed behind her back. Abba’s head looms just over the screen, bearded and flushed with the heat. I hear his voice loud and gruff with ours, “Mizmor le David,” Sing the song of David.
Rows ahead I notice a girl, her brown shoulders exposed in a tank top. Springy black curls tumble down a lithe neck and brush against muscular arms. She turns around, catching my eye. She has sparkly brown eyes, dark skin and full cheeks. Heat climbs up my face, my arm hairs rising. I don’t look away.
Glossary
Abba—father
Amidah—set of eighteen prayers recited daily by observant Jews
Ba’al T’shuva—literally “one who has returned.” A formerly non-observant Jew who returns to the traditional ways of Judaism (also means reborn Jews).
Barchu—a Jewish prayer
Baruch Hashem—“Praised be God”
B’shert—a person destined to be your soul mate
Beit HaMidrash—a study hall
Benchers—a small book containing the Prayer After Meals and other songs sang on the Sabbath or other joyous occasions
Bochel—a fat tummy
Brucha—blessing
Chachkas—knickknacks
Challah (challot)—braided bread(s) eaten on the Sabbath
Cholent—a bean and meat stew traditionally eaten on the Sabbath. It is prepared before the Sabbath to avoid having to cook on the day of rest.
Chumash—the five books of the Pentateuch, often referred to as the five books of Moses. The word “chumash” is from the Hebrew word meaning “five.”
Chuppah—a wedding canopy under which a marriage ceremony is conducted
Chutzpadik—nerve or gall
daily regiment to study a page of Talmud. With this regimen the entire Talmud would be studied in seven and a half years.
Daven—to pray
Drash—an interpretation of a biblical text
D’var Torah—a talk on topics relating to a section of the Torah
Eishet Chayil—literally “A woman of valor.” This poem is frequently sung to a wife by her husband on the Friday night of the Sabbath.
Frum—religious or observant
Goyische—a derogatory word for a non-Jew
Gregors—noisemakers used on the Jewish festival of Purim
Halacha—Jewish law
Hamentaschen—a three-cornered cookie filled with prunes or poppy seeds that is traditionally eaten on the holiday of Purim
Hanukah—the annual Jewish festival, also known as the Festival of Lights, celebrated over eight successive days. Hanukah commemorates the rededication of the Temple of Jerusalem by Judas Maccabee in 165 BC.
Has va’halila—“Heaven Forbid,” an expression of horror
Hashem—God
Havdalah—a ceremony marking the end of Sabbath using candles, wine and sweet spices
Ima—mother
Kallah v’chatan—bride and groom
Kippah—religious head covering worn traditionally only by men
Knishes—a pastry stuffed with potato or other savory filling
Kol Isha—literally “the voice of a woman.” This refers to the Jewish law that forbids a woman from leading prayers for men, or for a woman performing for men.
Kosher—Jewish dietary laws
Kotel—part of the massive remaining stone walls of the Second Temple. The Kotel is also called the Wailing or Western Wall and is the most sacred site in Judaism.
Kugel—a noodle casserole
Latkas—potato pancakes, traditionally eaten at Hanukah
Mazel Tov—“Congratulations”
Mezuzah—a parchment inscribed with a religious text and attached in a case to the door posts of Jewish homes as a sign of faith
Mincha—the afternoon prayers
Mishnah—the oral tradition of Jewish law. The Mishnah was the first important work of rabbinic Judaism.
Minyan—ten men (or in some synagogues, ten men or women) needed for public worship
Mikvah—a ritual bath used for purification
Mishigas—nonsense
Moschiach—the Messiah
Parsha—a portion of the Hebrew bible
Pogrom—an organized massacre directed against a particular group
Purim—a joyous Jewish holiday that commemorates the deliverance of Persian Jews from the plot of the evil Haman to exterminate them. This story is recorded in the biblical Book of Esther.
Rosh Hashanah—the Jewish New Year
Rugelach—a sweet pastry filled with chocolate, nuts or jam
Shabbat/Sabbath—the day of rest and worship. For Jews this is Saturday.
Shabbat Shalom—a greeting meaning happy or peaceful Sabbath
Shalom Aleichem—a song or greeting meaning “Peace Be Upon You”
Shiksa—derogatory term for a non-Jewish woman
Shivah—a period of seven days of mourning after the death of close relative. A family is said to be “sitting shivah.”
Shma—the most important prayer in Judaism. It contains a passage from Deuteronomy and proclaims there is only one God.
Shonda—a disgrace or shame
Shul—a Yiddish word for synagogue or temple
Shulchan Aruch—literally “The Set Table.” This is a book of Jewish law composed by Rabbi Yosef Karo in the sixteenth century.
Shvitz—to sweat
Siddur—a prayer book
Sitra Achra—literally the “other side”—refers to the forces of evil which underlie all of reality
Talmud—a record of rabbinic discussions pertaining to Jewish law, ethics, customs and history
T’sha B’Av—the ninth day of the Hebrew month of Av. This is a day of mourning for the fall of the temple and other atrocities in Jewish history. It is traditional to fast on this day.
T’fillah Ha’Derech—the prayer for safe travel
Toevah—an abomination
Torah—the law of God as revealed to Moses and recorded in the first five books of the Hebrew Scriptures. This is the first part of the Hebrew Bible.
Trafe—unkosher food
Tsur Mishelo—a song sung on the Sabbath thanking God for the food eaten on the Sabbath
Vayeshev—the ninth weekly Torah portion in the annual Jewish cycle of Torah reading
Yedid Nefesh—a psalm sung to welcome the Sabbath. It means “Beloved of the Soul.”
Yeshiva Bucher—a yeshiva or seminary student
Yom Kippur—the Day of Atonement. Jews fast and ask for forgiveness from God and other people.
Yontif—means good day or holiday
Zai Gazunt—literally “Go in health”—the Yiddish way of saying “be well.”
Zemirot—songs sung on the Sabbath
Leanne Lieberman grew up in Vancouver, British Columbia. Her work has previously been published in The Windsor Review, The New Quarterly, The Antigonish Review and other magazines. Gravity was Leanne’s master’s thesis at the University of Windsor. Leanne works as a teacher in Kingston, Ontario, where she lives with her husband and two sons.
Table of Contents
Cover Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication Page
Acknowledgement
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Glossary
About the Author