zoegirl:
you’d be a fabulous roller derby queen, Mads. you’d rock those high sports socks, and you look awesome in pigtails.
SnowAngel:
that was from “Whip It,” right? about the girl who felt like a freak in her small town but made new freak friends in a roller derby league?
zoegirl:
and then you almost went surfing, but there was a shark alert. “Soul Surfer”? about the girl who got her arm bitten off?
SnowAngel:
I that movie, btw.
zoegirl:
and then right around the time Doug broke up with me, you magically became a character in “The Hangover,” from the scene when the guys woke up in a hotel room and found a tiger in the bathroom.
SnowAngel:
a tiger that they had to return to that scary dude, which is what you claimed that you and Zara and the Esbees were doing.
SnowAngel:
jesus, Zoe. we really *were* stupid, weren’t we?
zoegirl:
yep. except . . . she’s Maddie. she made it all sound possible.
zoegirl:
you ARE a good liar, Mads, though I’m not sure that’s a skill to be proud of.
zoegirl:
and then the ghost hunting night. “Ghostbusters”? “listen, I smell something”??? Ian told us that you two can shoot quotes back and forth from that movie forever.
SnowAngel:
and then back to Vegas, sans tiger, only you didn’t really get on the plane because—surprise!—the guy you were with was scared of flying and needed anxiety meds.
zoegirl:
the three of us saw “Bridesmaids” together. God.
SnowAngel:
and you laughed so hard when everyone got food poisoning from that sketchy Brazilian restaurant.
SnowAngel:
I’m surprised u didn’t claim u had to take a dump in the middle of the road.
zoegirl:
and then, last but not least, Halloween. I did the zombie crawl, Angela went to a party, and you? you—supposedly—went to a lecture given by the son of a mad scientist WHO THOUGHT HE COULD REANIMATE DEAD PEOPLE.
zoegirl:
omigosh.
zoegirl:
Ian figured that one out, too. he said the two of you watched “Young Frankenstein” over the summer and loved it.
SnowAngel:
which is awesome. yay, movies.
SnowAngel:
but Maddie, your life *isn’t* like a movie, is it? your life is stolen from a bunch of different movies.
zoegirl:
it’s you sitting around watching Netflix all the time.
zoegirl:
AND it’s you totally reneging on the yolo oath.
SnowAngel:
but we’re not here to yell at u. right, Zo?
zoegirl:
no. but we are upset.
SnowAngel:
VERY upset.
zoegirl:
mainly we just want u to be ok.
SnowAngel:
so be ok. please?
SnowAngel:
and we ARE going to get u to Atlanta over Thanksgiving. we haven’t worked out every last detail yet, but we will. tell her, Zoe.
zoegirl:
we will. Angela’s stubborn, if you haven’t noticed. she’s forcing me to be gutsy and not give up (normally YOUR job!), so that’s what I’m going to do.
SnowAngel:
Zoe, Maddie’s still not saying anything.
zoegirl:
no, she’s not.
SnowAngel:
Maddie?
SnowAngel:
just one little dot? plz plz pretty plz?
SnowAngel:
. . .
SnowAngel:
. . .
zoegirl:
. . . . . . . . .
SnowAngel:
le sigh.
zoegirl:
we’re here for you, Maddie. just know that.
SnowAngel:
Sun, Nov 17, 2:00 AM P.S.T.
mad maddie:
.
Sun, Nov 17, 11:26 AM E.S.T.
zoegirl:
oh, Maddie, thank you for your middle-of-the-night text!!!
zoegirl:
I’ll take your dots anytime. are you doing any better?
mad maddie:
not really. I keep listening to Mumford and Sons and feeling depressed.
zoegirl:
I love Mumford and Sons.
mad maddie:
that line about dying alone? yep, that’s me.
mad maddie:
I know I’m being melodramatic, but I can’t help it. everything sucks.
zoegirl:
oh, Maddie.
zoegirl:
but the song isn’t about dying alone. the song’s about refusing to die alone.
mad maddie:
it is?
mad maddie:
no it’s not.
zoegirl:
go check. look up the lyrics.
mad maddie:
oh
mad maddie:
huh
zoegirl:
and then later there’s the part about no more tears and no more fears, and how everything will be ok.
mad maddie:
whoa. it’s an amazing song—it’s gorgeous—but how weird that I heard it so differently than you.
zoegirl:
well . . . you’re depressed, like you said. even though you denied it two seconds later.
zoegirl:
but Angela and Ian and I *are* going to figure out a way to get you to Atlanta.
mad maddie:
don’t say that. it’s not going to happen, and it just makes me feel bad, like I’m this deadweight you have to carry.
zoegirl:
oh, hush
zoegirl:
anyway, you don’t get a vote. we don’t have quite enough money yet, but we’re going to raise it somehow. I give you my word.
mad maddie:
hmmm. dubious. but sweet gesture, Zo.
zoegirl:
don’t give up on us, and don’t give up on you. promise?
mad maddie:
can’t promise. but I’ll try.
zoegirl:
that’s my girl.
zoegirl:
Sun, Nov 17, 12:41 PM E.S.T.
zoegirl:
I texted Maddie this morning, and she RESPONDED! miracle of miracles! I gave her my word that we’d raise the money for her ticket, so now we have to.
SnowAngel:
we always had to.
zoegirl:
how are we going to raise the remaining $280???
SnowAngel:
by . . . doing something!
zoegirl:
yes, that’s helpful. what sort of something?
SnowAngel:
a fundraiser? a Georgia/Ohio fundraiser for an excellent cause?
SnowAngel:
I can sell cupcakes on the quad. I’m sure Anna will help me, and I bet Lucy will too. altho I bet her cupcakes will be gross and filled with hemp seeds.
SnowAngel:
cld u do something like that too?
zoegirl:
I guess
zoegirl:
but $280 worth of cupcakes? in four days??? Maddie’s last day of classes before break is this Friday, just like ours.
SnowAngel:
well, then snap to it!
SnowAngel:
call in all the troops u can think of: Holly, Gannon, whoever.
SnowAngel:
GO!
Tues, Nov 19, 3:50 PM E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
hi, Maddie!
SnowAngel:
just txting to give u a status report. all ships ahoy, matey!
SnowAngel:
SnowAngel:
but in this case, just know that we’re going
to make sure Project Save Maddie is a total winner!
Tues, Nov 19, 3:54 PM E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
Zoe, Project Save Maddie is a total failure. I sold TWO DOZEN FRICKIN CUPCAKES this morning, and guess how much that made?
SnowAngel:
a whopping $9.25. yes, u heard me. nine dollars and twenty-five measly cents!
zoegirl:
but . . . that’s less than a dollar per cupcake!
SnowAngel:
I made a sign that said “Cupcakes for the Cause! Pay What You Can, All Contributions Welcome!”
SnowAngel:
which, in retrospect, was possibly not the best strategy with a bunch of poor college students.
zoegirl:
well, Gannon, Holly, and I sat at a table in the student center and sold poems for five bucks apiece. only we didn’t sell a single one, so you did better than we did.
SnowAngel:
not a high demand for on-the-spot poems?
zoegirl:
unfathomable. I know.
zoegirl:
but guess who I saw? MY CREATIVE WRITING PROFESSOR.
SnowAngel:
the horrible professor?
SnowAngel:
the one who said, “hey, you! you don’t get to be a creative writing major!” that one?
zoegirl:
yep. she saw Holly and Gannon and me, and I know she did because I SAW her see us. and then she spun around and headed the opposite way.
SnowAngel:
wow. great role model for being an adult.
zoegirl:
yep. and then a crazy urge came over me, cuz I was with Holly, who is fearless, and cuz I was thinking about Mads, who is fearless (or who is when she’s in her natural state).
zoegirl:
I stood up and waved and said, “Professor Crawford! Professor Crawford!”
SnowAngel:
um . . . why?
zoegirl:
because you were right when you told me that my prof could tell me I couldn’t take the next writing class but that she couldn’t keep me from writing.
SnowAngel:
I told you that?
SnowAngel:
huh. that was so smart of me! and IT IS TRUE!
zoegirl:
so I decided to tell HER that, only when she got to our booth, I totally froze.
SnowAngel:
holy shitsnacks. eeeee! nervous!
zoegirl:
I know! and if Holly and Gannon hadn’t been there, I’m sure I would have totally chickened out.
zoegirl:
they’ve been great, by the way. it could have been weird between us, since they get to take the next class and I don’t. but it isn’t, because we’re not letting it be.
SnowAngel:
yay! happy! but I need to know WHAT HAPPENED.
SnowAngel:
she came to your booth. you froze. and . . . ?
zoegirl:
and she stared at me like, “Can you talk?”
zoegirl:
I couldn’t, it seemed, and she started to walk away. then Holly elbowed me HARD, and I said, all shakily, “I just want you to know that I won’t stop writing.”
SnowAngel:
Zoe!!! so proud!
SnowAngel:
what did your professor say????
zoegirl:
she got flustered. it was incredibly uncomfortable. finally she lifted her eyebrows and said, “Good.”
SnowAngel:
that’s all? just “good”?
zoegirl:
and *then* she walked away.
zoegirl:
it’s not as if Professor Crawford is ever going to be a big part of my life, and I know I don’t need her approval, but I’m glad I did it.
SnowAngel:
hell yeah! you stood up for yourself!
zoegirl:
and saying it out loud—that I’m going to keep writing no matter what—made it so that I *have* to. I said I will, so I will.
SnowAngel:
like Maddie’s yolo promise . . .
zoegirl:
exactly. but no sad face, because it’s not over till it’s over, right?
zoegirl:
and I do have another $50 for the fund. Gannon and Holly gave me $25 each.
awww, so sweet!
zoegirl:
I felt a little wrong accepting their money, but then I didn’t.
SnowAngel:
Reid’s going to chip in too.
SnowAngel:
we have good friends, don’t we?
zoegirl:
we do. we’re very lucky.
SnowAngel:
but our best friend is still in Santa Cruz in a closet somewhere. so back to it!
Wed, Nov 20, 1:03 PM P.S.T.
mad maddie:
hey, Zoe and Angela. stop beating yrselves up, cuz I know u are. u think it’s somehow your fault that I’m going to be stuck here in California with the dorm rats and the homeless ppl, but it’s not.
mad maddie:
huh
mad maddie:
I just reread that text and am now realizing that I prolly sounded . . . well, not overly convincing.
mad maddie:
just trying for gallows humor, I guess.
mad maddie:
it means SO MUCH to me that y’all even tried.
mad maddie:
and, thx to Angela, I now know that homeless ppl can make excellent friends!
mad maddie:
I will be thankful for that, and thankful that I will not be sleeping behind a dumpster like Jermaine.
mad maddie:
it’s all good. really.
Thu, Nov 21, 4:00 PM E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
Zoe . . . something is happening. something big and . . . strange and wonderful, and—
SnowAngel:
do you believe in miracles?
zoegirl:
sometimes. in theory.
zoegirl:
what’s going on?
SnowAngel:
I know that ppl usually talk about Christmas miracles, but I’m in the middle of a Thanksgiving miracle. remember my business class and how I had to make a fake business? and so I made up Fashion Rescue: For the Girl on the Run!
zoegirl:
yes . . .
SnowAngel:
WELL, Lucy and Anna made up fliers and wrote testimonials and stuff. they posted them all over campus, and Anna passed them out to everyone in the Zeta house.
SnowAngel:
they know how worried I’ve been about Maddie, and they wanted to do something too, just like Holly and Gannon did.
SnowAngel:
and now I’m tearing up. ACK.
zoegirl:
wait wait wait! why are you tearing up? WHAT’S GOING ON?
SnowAngel:
also, I told Anna I was taking a VERY QUICK break—she’s being, like, my set-up-appointments person—so I’ve gotta make this fast and get back to the next person.
SnowAngel:
we’re $85 closer, Zo! I’m giving fashion advice and helping ppl reinvent themselves AND THEY’RE PAYING ME FOR IT!
zoegirl:
no way!
SnowAngel:
way!
SnowAngel:
thank you, Business 101! thank you, Professor Business Lady! I might even take Business 202 if there is such a thing, and grow up to be a Business Lady myself one day!!!!
zoegirl:
you’re making money and you have appointments and you’re a fashion consultant? I kind of think you already ARE a business lady, Angela!!!
SnowAngel:
ooo, really? cool!
SnowAngel:
lots of my clients are Zetas, which I’m somewhat blown away by. Anna wrote “Sisters for Sisters” on the flyers she handed out at the Zeta house, and even tho I depledged, they’re still helping out.
zoegirl:
&nb
sp; all of them? even the jerky ones?
SnowAngel:
well, no. just the nice ones. but there are enough nice ones to make a difference.
SnowAngel:
they’re lined up outside my room just waiting to give me money!
zoegirl:
to help Maddie?
SnowAngel:
no, to pay for the service I’m offering. (and I AM good at this stuff. every one of my clients has left happy.)
SnowAngel:
but also for Maddie, since that’s what the money’s for.