Ghana
access to education in, 205, 209
arm test for school admission, 208
Ghana Educational Collaborative (GEC), 205, 209–210
“gifted and talented” label, 190
Gilligan, Carol, 148
Ginott, Haim G., 216
goat, raising money for, 203–204
Goldman, Linda, 100–102
Good to Great (Collins), 216
Government Accountability Office (GAO), 18, 20
Great Answers to Difficult Questions about Death (Goldman), 102
grief and mourning
developmental stages and grief responses, 92–93, 98–99
grief and loss inventory, 116–119
grief rituals, 107–110
incidence of in childhood, 96–97
signs of, 94–95
sources of, 91, 97
Grieving Children, National Alliance for, 105
Griffith, Emily, 67
grit, 178–180
Grove, Jodi, 126, 141
growth mindset, 174–176
Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act, 65
Heifer International, 203
Hemmelgarn, Alyssa, 115
Hemmelgarn, Joe and Carole, 115–116
Henderson, Anne T., 75
Henry, James, 126
high five goodbye, 180–181
holidays, 86–87
Homeless Education, National Center for, 21
homelessness, 21–22
Hope Academy, Denver Street School, 132
Hopkins, Andrea Ruth, 100
housing security, 39
Huffington Post, on divorce rate, 72
hunger, 44–47, 65
Huntington Bank, 62
“I wish my teacher knew . . .”
anonymity, importance of, 224–225
author’s sharing with other teachers, 3–4
building community, 225–226
#IWishMyTeacherKnew hashtag on social media, 229
IWishMyTeacherKnew.info website, 229
news and social media reaction to, 4–5
options for students, 222
sharing among students, 223–224
student response to, 3
teacher’s guide, 221–227
teacher’s willingness to read something terrible, 128
immigration, 21, 97
incarceration of family member, 91, 96
Injury Prevention, National Center for, 153
Institute for Research and Reform in Education, 199
Institute of Education Sciences, 153, 163
Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children, 25
involuntary moves, 19–20
JAMA Pediatrics, on child abuse, 125
Jamie, 157–158
Jennilyn, 36–37
Jiro, 158–159
job security, 39
Joe, 186–187
Kaleb, 10
Kara, 184
Kerbow, David, 26
kindness, value of, 165–166
Kohlberg, Lawrence, 147–148
Kretzmann, John P., 54
labeling students, 187–191
Ladies’ Lunch program, 57
language, shared, 165–166
languages other than English, 2, 19
learning
as a choice, 185–187
effect of trauma on, 125, 145
family involvement in, 74–76, 85–87, 211–213
hunger and, 44–47, 65
influence of cultural and socioeconomic diversity, 43–45, 76–77
life experiences and, 2
mobility and, 25–26
nutrition and, 45–48, 52, 65
poverty and, 43–45, 52
purposeful, 204, 210
self-efficacy and, 173
student engagement, importance of, 200
legacy projects, 110–116
letters
goodbye, 16–17, 36–37
official acknowledgments, 33–34
welcoming, 33
Levin, David, 161
Licia, 20
Little People, Big Changes, 207
lunches in classroom, 57
Lyon, Amy, 178
Malisani, Janessa, 140
mandatory reporters, 129–134
Mapp, Karen L., 75
marriage rates, 72
Martinez, Tiffany, 211
Mateo, 56
Matthew, 185
Mayo Clinic, list of signs of abuse, 130–131
McKay, Linda, 153, 163
McKnight, John L., 54
measurement, lesson on, 197–198
memory books, 105–107
mentors, college attendance and, 132–133
migratory families, 21
Mile High Ministries, Christmas Store, 60
military-connected students, 23–25
mindsets, 174–176
minimum wage, 49, 52
Mirrana, 30–31
mobility, student
demographic of, 18
military-connected, 23–25
poverty, 19, 21
socioeconomic issues and, 19
Moening, Susana, 37
Moore, London, 205
moral development
aspects of, 164–165
care-based, 148
levels of, 148–149
productive rebellion, 149
See also character education; empathy
Morlin, Luke, 156
Mother’s Day, 86–87
mourning. See grief and mourning
moving
causes, 19–25
student reaction to, 15–17
transition mementos, 38–39
voluntary/involuntary, 19–20
music, as regulation activity, 140
National Alliance for Grieving Children, 105
National Association of Secondary School Principals, 53
National Center for Educational Statistics, 43
National Center for Homeless Education, 21
National Center for Injury Prevention, 153
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 123
National School Lunch Program, 43, 45, 48–49, 65
National Youth Leadership Counsel, 202
NEA Today, on relationship of PISA scores and poverty, 53
New York Times
on children living in poverty, 43
on divorce rate, 72
on family diversity, 72
New York Times Magazine, on character development program, 161
Nichols, Erica, 86
nutrition, relationship to learning, 45–48, 52, 65
Opportunity School, 67
optimism, 176–177
The Optimistic Child (Seligman), 177
Osefo, Wendy O., 132
The Other Side of Sadness (Bonanno), 92
Palacio, R. J., 157
Perseverance Walk, 179
pessimism, 177
Pew Charitable Trust, 96
Pew Research Center, 97
Piaget, Jean, 148
Pickhardt, Carl. E., 97–98
PISA (Programme for International Student Assessment), 52–53
play cousins, 72
Portland State University, research on relationships and engagement, 201
positive self-talk, 140, 174–175
poverty
humiliation of, 50–51
hunger, 44–47, 65
mobility and, 19, 21
National School Lunch Program, 43, 45, 48–49, 65
relationship to academic success, 43–45, 52
statistics on, 2, 43
power reading, 186
problem solving, students as partners in, 215, 224
productive rebellion, 149
Psychology Today, 98
public education, Stockdale paradox and, 217–219
Randolph, Dominic, 161
reading comprehension and character education, 160
regulation activities, 139–142
relationship-building, 2, 12, 26–30, 201–202, 215–216, 218
resources and barriers chart, 54–58
Rihanna, 121
Roldan, Julian, 34–35
Ronaldo, 15–17, 36, 38
rubrics, for evaluation, 166–168, 191, 194
Rumberger, Russell W., 18–19, 26
Rusnak, Timothy, 161
SACD (social and character development), 153
Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes (Coerr), 112
Safe Horizon, 129
Safe Place, 126–127, 141
Schlechty, Phil, 200
School Lunch Program, National, 43
school nurses, identification of hungry students by, 46–47
School Superintendents Association, 24
schools
family involvement in, 74–76, 85–87, 211–213
high mobility, 18–19
Stockdale paradox and, 218–219
Schwartz, Kyle
AmeriCorps, work with, 10
awareness of advantages, 9–10
childhood struggles in school, 7–9
in Chile, 11
in Denver Teacher Residency program, 11–12
grief for absent sister, 109
Scientific American magazine, on divorce, 97
Secondary School Principals, National Association of, 53
Seekins, Tara, 112–114
self-chosen ethical principles, 148
self-efficacy
defined, 173
development of, 173, 195
focus on ability to improve, 172
self-regulation, 139, 140
self-talk, 140, 174–175
Seligman, Martin, 161, 177
service learning, 202–204, 207
shared experience, 215, 223–224
Signs of Suicide program, 134
Sigrid, 29–30
Simon, 89–91
single mothers, 72
socioeconomic issues
divisiveness of, 217
learning and, 43–45, 76–77
student mobility and, 19
Sonny, 123–124
Sophia, 136–138
special education services, 2, 19
Stanford Center for the Study of Families, Children, and Youth, 75
Stanton Elementary School, Washington, DC, 140
Stockdale, James, 216–217
Stockdale paradox, 216–217
students
abuse, experiences with, 121–124
desire to learn, 214
diverse experiences of, 1–2, 43–45, 76–77
family involvement, 74–76, 85–87, 211–213
grief and mourning, 91–95
labeling of, 187–191
meeting needs of, 61
military-connected, 23–25
mobility, 17–19, 25–26
parting from classmates, 17
as partners in learning, 215–216
taking responsibility for own learning, 185–187, 191, 194–195
teacher-student connections, 12, 26–30, 201–202
Suglia, Rob, 189
suicide, 109, 134, 225
Teacher and Child (Ginott), 216
teacher tools
answering questions about grief and loss, 101–105
Breakfast in the Classroom, 64–66
character rubrics, 166–168
coach and response, 181–183
coat closets, 60
College Fridays, 183–185
community supplies, 61–63
CQC: celebrations, questions, concerns, 83–85
creating common values, 162–163
empathetic questions, individualized interventions, 66–68
family learning projects, 211–213
formation of common character development language, 164–166
grief and loss inventory, 116–119
grief rituals, 107–110
high five goodbye, 180–181
identification of allies, 134–136, 138
inclusive family language, 78–81
labels, consideration of, 187–191
learning as a choice, 185–187
legacy projects, 110–116
maintaining one’s own mental health, 141–143
making hellos and farewells official, 33–37
memory books, 105–107
reassuring students in crisis, 139, 141
regulation activities, 139–142
reimagining the family project, 85–87
relationship-building, 26–30
resources and barriers charts, 54–58
service learning, 202–204
students choosing own level, 191, 194–195
transition mementos, 38–39
understanding family groups, 81–83
welcome kits, 30–33
teachers
as advocates for abused children, 134
as allies, 132–133, 138, 143
belief in ability to meet educational goals, 218–219
bias awareness, 44
class reaction to new or departing student, 38–39
equality and collaboration of, 189
family involvement, 42, 74–76, 85–87, 211–213
grieving students, 92–101, 107–110, 116–117
helping students develop growth mindsets, 174–176
honoring students’ diverse experiences, 2, 34–35
honoring students’ resources, 55
“I wish my teacher knew . . .” teacher’s guide, 221–227
as mandatory reporters, 129–134, 225
meeting students’ needs, 61
military-connected students, 24–25
as models for positive character traits, 153
as models of optimism, 177
poverty issues and, 43–45, 69
real job of, 147
sharing own experiences, 222
student-teacher connections, 2, 12, 26–30, 201–202, 215–216, 218, 221
trauma-informed, 125–128, 145
welcoming students, 26–33
Temple, Sandra (fictitious name), 23–24
tías, or aunties, 72
Totes of Hope, 58
transition mementos, 38–39
trauma
defined, 126
effect of on learning, 125, 145
trauma-informed practices, 126–128
Trauma-Informed Care Project, 125
Truman, Harry S., 48
Truth for Teachers podcast, 183
University of Delaware, School of Education, on using inclusive family language, 78
unmarried parents, 72
US Department of Education
on character education, 149
on homelessness, 22
US Department of Health and Human Services, report on foster children, 73
US Department of State, report on adoption, 73
USDA (US Department of Agriculture) on food insecurity, 49, 52
values, creation of list by school community, 162–164
video games, as regulation activity, 141
voluntary kin, 72
voluntary moves, 19–20
Watson, Angela, 183
websites
Character.org, 149
DonorsChoose.org, 60
iwishmyteacherknew.info, 229
Welcome Award, 35–36
welcome kits, 30–33
William (William Yakah), 205–206, 208–210
Willow Creek Academy, 112
Wintler, Valerie, 46–47
Wonder (Palacio), 157
Yakah, William, 205–206, 208–210
Youth Leadership Counsel, National, 202
About the Author
Credit: Photo by Chris Williams
Kyle Schwartz is a third-grade teacher. She lives in Denver, Colorado.