I was alone at home one night. Peggy was on an outing by herself. Paul was on an outing by himself. I had noticed that this happened more and more; the two of them were busy at something, and I suspected it was with each other. I only hoped they would not get angry and disrupt my life when they realized I did not care. I did all sorts of little things: I washed my underwear, scrubbed the stove, washed the bathroom floor, trimmed my nails, arranged my dresser, made sure I had enough sanitary napkins. When I got into bed, I lay there with the light on for a long time doing nothing. Then I saw the book Mariah had given me. It was on the night table next to my bed. Beside it lay my fountain pen full of beautiful blue ink. I picked up both, and I opened the book. At the top of the page I wrote my full name: Lucy Josephine Potter. At the sight of it, many thoughts rushed through me, but I could write down only this: “I wish I could love someone so much that I would die from it.” And then as I looked at this sentence a great wave of shame came over me and I wept and wept so much that the tears fell on the page and caused all the words to become one great big blur.
Also by Jamaica Kincaid
At the Bottom of the River
Annie John
A Small Place
The Autobiography of My Mother
My Brother
My Favorite Plant [editor]
My Garden (Book):
Talk Stories
Mr. Potter
LUCY
Jamaica Kincaid was born in St. John’s, Antigua. Her books include At the Bottom of the River; Annie John; The Autobiography of My Mother; My Brother; My Garden (Book):; My Favorite Plant, a collection of writing on gardens that she edited; Talk Stories, a collection of her New Yorker writings; and, most recently, Mr. Potter, all of which were published by FSG. In 2000 she was awarded the Prix Fémina Étranger for My Brother. She lives with her family in Vermont.
Farrar, Straus and Giroux
18 West 18th Street, New York 10010
Copyright © 1990 by Jamaica Kincaid
All rights reserved
Published in 1990 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux
First Farrar, Straus and Giroux paperback edition, 2002
Each of the chapters in this book originally appeared, in an earlier form, in The New Yorker.
“Put Yourself in My Place,” by John Thornton / Brian Holland / Edward Holland Jr. and Lamont Dozier.
Used by permission.
The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition as follows:
Kincaid, Jamaica.
Lucy / Jamaica Kincaid.— 1st edition.
p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-0-374-19434-5
ISBN-10: 0-374-19434-3
1. West Indian Americans—Fiction. 2. Women Domestics—Fiction. 3. New York (N.Y.)—Fiction. I. Title.
PR9275.A583 K5638 1990
813—dc20
Paperback ISBN-13: 978-0-374-52735-8
Paperback ISBN-10: 0-374-52735-0
www.fsgbooks.com
eISBN 9781466828858
First eBook edition: September 2012