Offline
Kealan Patrick Burke
"What follows is the transcript from a series of screenshots emailed to the Columbus City Police on June 7th, 2011, and subsequently distributed to the media."
Everyone has a page…
In the last few years, social networking has exploded as one of the best and easiest means of keeping in touch with people. It increases your visibility, allows the creation of a profile that shows you to the world and lets them know everything about you.
Allows anyone to find you.
Written mostly as a series of Facebook instant messages and presented as a true-crime case, this short story by Bram Stoker Award-winning author Kealan Patrick Burke illustrates the ease with which innocent associations on the Internet can lead to tragedy…OFFLINE.
Kealan Patrick Burke
Offline
Copyright 2011 by Kealan Patrick Burke
What follows is the transcript from a series of screenshots emailed to the Columbus City Police on June 7th, 2011, and subsequently distributed to the media. In the wake of the investigation and as a result of the extensive media coverage, countless falsified copies and revised versions of the document were later posted to various social media platforms via a "meme" which later proved to be a virus.
This is the official authorized version of the document
# # #
May 2 nd , 2010
Josh: Hey
Mandy: hi
Josh: Thanks for accepting my request
Mandy: np. Why did you add me?
Josh: thought we had a lot in common
Mandy: cool
Josh: plus, you're hot, lol!
Mandy: thx
Josh: so how r you?
Mandy: good. Gotta go.
Josh: ok
Mandy is offline
May 3 rd , 2010
Josh: Hi Mandy
Mandy: hey
Josh: What's going on?
Mandy: nt much. u?
Josh: cooking
Mandy: that's cool
Mandy is offline
May 4 th , 2010
Josh: Hey.
Mandy: Hey.
Josh: What are you up to?
Mandy: Txtng my friend
Josh: Cool. How is she?
Mandy: Not so good. Her online 'boyfriend' just dumped her…lol.
Josh: that sucks.
Mandy: Yeah. I better go.
Josh: Oh, ok. Sorry I bothered you.
Mandy: You didn't. ttyl.
Josh: Ok.
Mandy is offline
May 5 th , 2010
Josh: Hey
Mandy: Hey.
Josh: How are you?
Mandy: Ok. u?
Josh: bored
Mandy: sorry to hear that.
Josh: I like your new profile pic.
Mandy: thx!
Josh: you should be a model
Mandy: lol. Yeah, right.
Josh: I'm serious. You look a bit like Celine Dion, only hotter…!
Mandy: Ugh, Celine Dion is gross, lol.
Josh: lol, sorry! Well you're not gross.
Mandy: thx
Josh: so do you have a boyfriend?
Mandy is offline
May 7 th , 2010
Josh: Hey
Mandy: Hi. Jeez, do you ever sleep?
Josh: what do you mean?
Mandy: you're always on here.
Josh: not always. But a lot, I guess. Nothing better to do, lol.
Josh: what are you up to?
Mandy: not much. Just responding to email
Josh: sweet.
Josh: do you get much email?
Mandy: lol
Josh: what?
Mandy: nothing. Just an odd question
Josh: oh, lol. Sorry. Just really bored. Not many people to talk to on here
Mandy: aww
Josh: I don't have many friends
Mandy: on FB?
Josh: anywhere
Mandy: that's sad. Sorry:-(
Josh: s'okay. Where I live it's hard to be popular
Mandy: where do you live?
Josh: did you look at my profile?
Mandy: no, sorry. I will now.
Josh: cool
Mandy: You're in Urbana?
Josh: yep
Mandy: cool. I used to live there a few years ago
Josh: I know
Mandy: ummm…how do u know, lol?
Josh: says you went to school there on your profile, silly, lol.
Mandy: lol. Blonde moment. Sorry.
Josh: yeah, but you're not blonde:-)
Mandy: I am actually;-)
Josh: in your picture you are, but you're originally a brunette, right?
Mandy: how do you know that?
Josh is offline
May 10 th , 2010
Mandy: Hi!
Josh: Hey
Mandy: Quick question…
Josh: sure
Mandy: when I talked to you before, you said I wasn't a real blonde
Josh: yes. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to upset you
Mandy: Nah, it's cool. Just wondering how you knew that?
Josh: so it's true?
Mandy: Yeah, but I've been a blonde for a long time
Josh: why?
Mandy:???
Mandy: Why what?
Josh: why are you blonde?
Mandy: Uh…I dunno. I just prefer it. I like how it looks, I guess.
Josh: makes sense
Mandy: So, how did you know? Is it obvious or something, lol!
Josh: Nah, you just look like you used to be a brunette
Mandy: Oh. In a bad way?
Josh: No
Mandy: Ok, phew, lol. So whatchoo doing?
Josh: Not much. Bad day
Mandy: what happened?
Josh is offline
May 11 th , 2010
Josh: Hi Mandy
Mandy: Hey
Josh: Sorry about yesterday
Mandy: S'ok.
Josh: I've been going through some stuff. Makes me cranky, lol.
Mandy: no probs. Happens to me all the time. Everything ok?
Josh: I like your new profile pic
Mandy: awesome, thanks so much! Do you like it better than the Celine Dion one, lol!
Josh: Yes. Looks like you didn't crop it enough though on the right side.
Mandy: I was kind of in a hurry. Does it look bad?
Josh: No, but you can see your boyfriend's arm in it.
Mandy: Yeah, I like how I look in that picture so I wanted to put it up.
Mandy: If I cropped it anymore tho, I'd have had to cut myself in half, lol.
Josh: So who's the guy?
Mandy: An ex. A jerk.
Josh: why'd u break up?
Mandy: He cheated on me.
Josh: Ouch
Mandy: Yeah.
Josh: He'll get what's coming to him tho. Everybody does
Mandy: I guess. So what kind of music do you like?
Josh: It's on my profile
Mandy: K, will check it out
Josh: K
Mandy is offline
May 13 th , 2010
Mandy: Hi
Josh: Sup?
Mandy: nothing. Just saw that you were on.
Mandy: you still there?
Josh: yes
Mandy: you're not very chatty tonight, lol.
Josh: bad day
Mandy: me too
Josh: seems to be going around
Mandy: yeah. My friend might be pregnant
Josh: that's too bad
Mandy: yeah, she asked me for advice and I didn't know what to tell her
Josh: how old is she?
Mandy: 17. Same as me
J
osh: she should probably get rid of it
Mandy: she doesn't want to
Josh: then it's on her
Mandy: that's not nice. She's really freaked out
Josh: she should be. Maybe in the future she'll keep her legs closed
Mandy is offline
May 14 th , 2010
Josh: hi
Mandy is offline
May 15 th , 2010
Josh: hey
Mandy is offline
May 16 th , 2010
Josh: Did you get my email?
Mandy: Yes. Thanks
Josh: I meant what I said
Mandy: I know, thank you
Josh: I am sorry
Mandy: I believe you
Josh: Was having another shitty day. Shouldn't have said what I said.
Mandy: It's ok. I didn't like hearing it, but you're not really wrong.
Josh: what do you mean?
Mandy: She sleeps around
Josh: Ah. Not good
Mandy: lol, yeah right. You're a guy. I'll bet you do it too.
Mandy: It's okay when guys do it though. If we do it, we're sluts
Josh: I don't do that. Do you?
Mandy: sure you don't. liar:-)
Josh: I've never had sex
Mandy: yeah, right
Josh: I'm serious
Mandy: really?
Josh: swear
Mandy: wow
Mandy: r u religious?
Josh: not really
Mandy: i c
Josh: so do you?
Mandy: what?
Josh: sleep around?
Mandy: that's a bit personal, isn't it?
Josh: well, I was honest about it
Mandy: still not sure I believe that
Josh: why not?
Mandy: dunno. You're pretty good lookin
Josh: I'm blushing here
Mandy: lol.
Josh: so…
Josh: do you?
Mandy: aaargh!
Josh: what?
Mandy: my little sister is being a pain in the ass. brb
Josh: k
Josh: hello?
Josh: u there?
Josh: talk to you soon
Mandy is offline
May 18 th , 2010
Josh: Hi Mandy
Mandy: hey there
Mandy: sorry I had to go the other night.
Mandy: Ended up watching a movie with my sister and fell asleep on the couch
Josh: no sweat. What was the movie?
Mandy: eh, just some Jennifer Garner flick. Fell asleep about 20 mins in, lol
Josh: I don't know who Jennifer Garner is
Mandy: wow, you need to get out more, lol
Josh: probably
Mandy: so what you up to?
Josh: looking at your pictures
Mandy: oh yeah? I'm a hottie! lol, j/k
Josh: You are
Mandy: aw thx. ur sweet
Josh: if I was closer, I'd totally take you out
Mandy: yeah?
Josh: yeah
Mandy: my sister says you're cute
Josh: cool
Mandy: says you look a bit like Toby Maguire
Josh: I don't know who that is either
Mandy: Jeez, do you ever watch movies? He was in Spider-Man
Josh: I prefer to read
Mandy: Google Toby Maguire. I'll wait, lol
Josh: ok
Mandy: well?
Mandy: hello?
Josh: I don't look anything like him
Mandy: well, my sis thinks you do
Josh: tell her I said thanks
Mandy: she says you're welcome. She asks if you have a girlfriend
Josh: tell her to ask me herself
Mandy: she is! This is her typing
Josh: no, it isn't
Mandy: now it is! HI! This is Sarah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Josh: hi Sarah.
Mandy: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Josh: Are you retarded?
Mandy: ur being a dick again
Mandy: what's ur problem? That was my sister talking to you
Josh: Sure
Mandy:???
Mandy: have a good night.
Mandy is offline
May 20 th , 2010
Josh: you there, Mandy?
Mandy: what do u want?
Josh: to apologize
Mandy: you could save yourself a lot of apologies by not being an asshole in the first place
Josh: I didn't mean to be
Mandy: then why did you?
Josh: I get angry a lot
Mandy: at me? Why?
Josh: at everything. I don't like where I am or what I am and it gets to me. Makes me crazy
Mandy: what are you?
Josh: angry and miserable
Mandy: maybe you should talk to somebody
Josh: I am. You.
Mandy: maybe somebody who could help u with your issues
Josh: you could help me with them
Mandy: not sure I'm qualified
Josh: do you have issues?
Mandy: sure. Everybody does.
Josh: what are yours?
Mandy: I hate my nose, lol
Josh: you have a lovely nose.
Josh: for an anteater
Josh: that was a joke
Mandy: better be. You're on strike two, buddy
Josh: lol
Josh: seriously though, you're beautiful. I've always thought so
Mandy: always? You added me about three weeks ago, lol.
Josh: I knew you before I added you.
Mandy: explain pls
Josh: I remember you from middle school back in Urbana
Josh: yeah, we were in the same grade for a year
Mandy: wow
Mandy: that's cool!
Josh: you don't remember me, do you?
Mandy: I think so
Josh: no you don't. lol. That's okay though. not many people do.
Josh: my family only moved there in time for me to take the last grade.
Mandy: wow
Josh: yeah
Josh: I think I was in love with you
Mandy: awww, that's so sweet. Why didn't you ever say anything?
Josh: I did
Mandy: what did you say? I don't remember?
Josh: better if we don't go there
Mandy: uh-oh…was I mean?
Josh: a little bit, lol. It's okay though.
Josh: I was awkward as hell in those days. Had a stammer. Probably spat all over you
Mandy: lol. That's cute
Mandy: I'm sorry if I did anything mean. I was a bit spoiled in those days
Josh: no worries
Mandy: so I've gotta get ready
Josh: where u going?
Mandy: staying over at Sue's. not looking forward to it. She's still a mess
Josh: cool. I'll be here for a while, so if you can get online later, I'll chat at ya then.
Mandy: okee dokee. l8r!
Mandy is offline
May 20 th , 2010
Josh: hi
Mandy: SUP
Josh: how is the sleepover going?
Mandy: UD
Mandy: GUD
Josh: what are you all up to?
Mandy: IGNOREING U
Josh:?
Josh: why?
Mandy: BC UR A FAGET SHIT 4 BRANES
Josh: uh…what?
Mandy: MANDY TOLE ME WAT U SD ABT ME
Josh: is this Sue?
Mandy: WHO D FUCK U THNK U R? U DNT EVN NO ME!!
Josh: Yes I do
Mandy: HOW?
Josh: I know you from school
Mandy: U DNT GO 2 MY SKOOL DICKHEAD
Josh: And you don't go enough, apparently.
Mandy: MY FREIDNS WLL FUCK U UP U MESS W THIS!!!.
Mandy: DNT U DARE TLK SHIT ABT ME!!!
Mandy: U DONT ME OR WAT IM GIONG THRU.
Josh: You're right. I got you confused.
Josh: I only know you from your picture on Mandy's FB.
Josh: You're the one who looks like a diseased crack whore, right?
Mandy: FUCK URSELF PEACE OF SHIT
Josh: maybe if you'd done that, you wouldn't be in the trouble you're in now.
Mandy: CANDY ASS BITCH. ILL BRAKE UR FACE
Josh: Where's Mandy? Can you get her for me? At least she speaks English.
Mandy is offline
May 21 st , 2010
Mandy: nice job dude
Josh: what?
Mandy: Sue is pissed at u. big time.
Josh: So what? I don't even know her. Or as she would say: U DNT EVN NO ME!!!!!
Mandy: LOL
Mandy: yeah, well I know her
Josh: my condolences
Mandy: she said you were on her friend list
Josh: For a little while, until I started reading her status messages.
Josh: They made me a little queasy. The ones I could understand anyway.
Josh: So I unfriended her.
Mandy: ic
Josh: you probably shouldn't have told her what I said about her
Mandy: I didn't tell her your name. just said a guy on FB I was talking to.
Josh: is that what I am?
Mandy: what?
Josh: a guy on FB you're talking to?
Mandy: what else would u be?
Josh: dunno. Thought we were friends
Mandy: we are, kinda. But I think to be friends you have to have met in real life
Josh: we have met in person, remember?
Mandy: years ago
Josh: so those 1,355 people on your FB are all people you've met in real life?
Mandy: you're giving me a headache. I'm not in the mood for this.
Josh: I could have told Sue what you said about her
Mandy: what did I say?
Josh: You agreed with me about her being a slut
Mandy: No I didn't
Josh: I could email a screenshot to her. How mad would she be then?
Mandy: don't
Josh: why not?
Mandy: fine. Do whatever you want.
Mandy: if you do, I'm unfriending you bc a friend wouldn't do something like that
Josh: I'm kidding
Mandy: u better be. I have enough trouble
Josh: so do you want to meet?
Mandy: I'm tired. Need to sleep. night
Josh: just answer me before you go.