Tick. Tick. Tick.
Thirsty.
I needed to go. I needed to find her. The voices always stopped when she
was near, as if her mere presence calmed them. They were unruly beasts, and
she was their skilled trainer. They obeyed her as if she was innately able to
dive inside my mind and command their respect.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
I scratched erratically at my arm, barely caring when skin fell to the
ground. I hadn’t even realized I had scrubbed my skin raw. Blood ran in
rivulets down my arm.
Blood.
My blood.
Still, I picked at the skin as if that could somehow lessen the persistent
itch.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Itch. Itch. Itch.
My life was a strange combination of all three. I didn’t glide through life
like some - I stomped. My mind? A ticking time bomb. My body? An itchy,
painful-
I lost my train of thought. That wasn’t necessarily surprising.
Where was she?
I had to find her. I couldn’t bear another moment away from her and her
calming presence.
Turning down yet another hallway, I paused in mid-step. There, at the end
of the hallway, was a familiar figure. Her caramel hair was cut short, just
above her shoulders. Her emerald green eyes shone behind wire-framed
glasses. Skin ghastly pale, she took a tentative step towards me. I
instinctively moved away. From her. From myself.
I wanted to run away from myself.
Stupid Jax, and his stupid decisions.
So stupid. See? I was even speaking in third-person now. Lupe told me it
was a way to remove myself, to detach myself, from the situation. I didn’t
deserve to be an “I” when she wasn’t even a “she” anymore. Could dead
people still be a “she”, or was she now an “it”? I didn’t deserve to live. It
would be better for everyone if I were to become lost in the abyss of my own
mind.
Stupid.
So stupid.
“Sasha?” I breathed, unable to tear my gaze away from the twelve year-
old girl.
“Why did you do this to me?” she asked softly. Her feet shuffled across
the cranberry red carpeting. The dark color nearly obscured the blood
dripping from an opened wound in her neck.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Itch. Itch. Itch.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
“You're not here.” I squeezed my eyes shut, automatically counting
backwards from ten. It was a trick that Lupe taught me to do whenever I saw
her.
Ten. Nine. Eight.
“Look at me.” Her voice came from directly in front of me. A voice that
had haunted both my waking moments and my nightmares. “Look at me.”
Seven. Six.
I snapped my eyelids open.
Five. Four.
Her face was contorting, transforming, before my very eyes. The pale
skin melted from her face like ice on a warm, summer day. She coughed, and
something fell into her hand. It was only as she moved to hold the strange
object in the light did I see that it was a tooth.
Three. Two.
Cough. Cough. Cough.
Tooth. Tooth. Tooth.
Blood continued to cascade down her body, staining the white of her
gown. All I could do was look at her in mesmerized horror, helpless to save
her. Always helpless.
One.
“Stop!” I screamed as her bones caved in on itself like old, yellowing
paper. “Stop!”
My itching intensified, and I rubbed at the sensitive skin with a new
My legs were unable to support my body, and I collapsed on the ground.
There was only one thing that could help me, one person, but she
wouldn’t come. Nobody ever came for me.
Alone. All alone.
Unloved. Unwanted.
As I stared at the spot where Sasha had been, I realized that I deserved it.
The clock in the hallway continued to tick away.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
TWENTY-TWO
Z
There were only two things that pissed me off. The first was not being
able to finish a delicious orgasm by the hands - or mouth - of a very
skilled Incubus (obviously). The second was being shot at moments
before said orgasm would’ve happened. That was just pushing my limits.
Grabbing my purse, I pulled out two throwing knives.
“Fucking hell,” I mumbled beneath my breath. Still naked, I ambled to
my feet and faced the intruder. From this distance, I couldn’t tell what
Nightmare he was. My guess would’ve been a Vampire, for he moved with
an agility and speed that surpassed an average person. That would make
things difficult. Not impossible. Just difficult.
Lifting my arm, I prepared to throw the knife at the shadowed figure. The
second I would’ve released it, he ducked behind a pillar.
“Damn,” I cursed.
He moved too fast for my eye to follow, a mere blur highlighted against
the pale blue sky. His body moved from his hiding place to a window sill one
level below. And then another. And then another.
It took me a moment to realize he was coming down here. I glanced at
Killian, who was currently gaping up at the figure, and that momentary lapse
in concentration cost me. The Vampire lunged at me with his fangs extended,
and we both fell to the ground in a tangle of legs and arms. Killian scrambled
to his feet, running forward as if he was going to take on the Vampire
himself. That thought only made me angrier. Killian was too kind, too pure,
to deal with the violence in this world. I yearned to spare him from anymore
of it.
“I got this!” I yelled beneath the heavy bastard’s body. His teeth snapped
inches from my neck, but I was able to hold him away. Damn him. Stupid,
orgasm-ruining, bloodsucking Vamp.
The Vampire’s eyes suddenly glazed over, flashing white in the second it
took them to close.
What the fuck?
He let out a blissful moan, rolling off of my body until he was lying on
his back. As I looked on in terror, his hand unzipped his pants and he began
to fondle himself.
What. The. Fuck?
I glanced at Killian who had somehow snuck up behind me. His worried
eyes trailed over my still naked body, checking me for any injuries.
“Are you okay?” he asked, slightly panicked. Before I could assure him I
was fine, he reached for my shirt and gently helped me get it back on. The
tenderness he displayed was astonishing. I’ve never had anyone care for me
before, let alone help me get dressed.
Even Lin and S knew better than to treat me like fine glass. But Killian?
He looked at me as if I was precious, as if he wanted to give me the world.
“I’m sorry I didn’t do anything earlier. I promise I’ll do better next time. I
won’t let you down again.”
I didn’t know why I felt the need to comfort him. I didn’t do cuddles and
shit. My arms moved of their own accord until they wound themselves
around his neck, my fingers playing w
ith the silky hair at the nape of his
neck. He froze, stunned by my initiation of contact, before he moved to
engulf my tiny waist in his strong arms. It was immensely soothing to be in
his arms. I didn’t feel like an assassin just then, but a girl. A girl and a boy,
each desperate to hold onto something, onto someone.
“It’s okay,” I whispered into his ear. “I’m okay. Let me be strong for
you.”
I held him for a second longer before releasing him, somewhat
reluctantly. I couldn’t forget about the Vampire that had attempted to kill me.
Or was he going after Killian?
It occurred to me that I was acting as Zara, not Z. Either this man knew of
my true identity, or the target had been the Incubus prince.
Crouching down beside the Vampire, I watched his hand touch the pre-
cum at the tip of his dick. His breathing was heavy as he jerked himself off.
“What’s your name?” I asked the Vampire, offering a seductive smile. He
glared at me, but that glare morphed into unadulterated lust as Killian’s
magic consumes him.
“Ted,” he gasped.
“Ted.” I rolled the name over my tongue, an almost husky sound, and the
Vampire let out another moan. “Ted...why were you going after my friend
over there?” I jerked my head in Killian’s direction, who was watching the
entire scene unfold without comment. I could feel his power, however,
emitting from his body in soft waves. Fortunately, it wasn’t directed at me.
With how sexually frustrated I was, I would probably explode in only a
second. Not the most intimidating interrogation method. “Why did you go
after Prince Killian?”
The Vampire - Ted - noticeably bit his lip to keep from talking. I began to
walk my fingers up his stomach, and my touch only seemed to intensify his
pleasure. His grunts escaped erratically now and sweat beaded on his
forehead. Fortunately, I knew that he would only be able to come when the
Incubus allowed him to. Until then, it would be nothing but painful pleasure.
“Do you want to come?” I whispered into his ear. He let out an
inarticulate gasp in response. “All you have to do is tell me who you work for
and why.”
He stubbornly shook his head, but I could see the considerable strain that
diminutive movement caused him. Behind me, I could hear skin slapping skin
as he worked himself into a frenzy. I was glad I was looking the other way - I
really wasn’t in the mood to vomit.
“Tell me.
The next noise he made was a painful cry. I almost felt bad for him.
Almost. If he hadn’t done the same thing to me, I might’ve told Killian to end
his torment.
You know what they say: karma's a bitch.
“Tell me.”
A groan.
“Tell me.”
This time, he let out a pathetic whimper.
“Tell me.”
“Aaliyah,” he gasped.
I frowned, remembering that name from before when the Shadow had
attacked me and Killian in the hallway.
“Who’s Aaliyah?” I questioned. “And what does she want with Killian?”
Ted opened his mouth, but just as quickly snapped it closed. White foam
formed on his lips, dripping down his chin. His eyes rolled back into his
head, and his body convulsed on the grass.
“Shit,” I cursed, recognizing a spell when I saw one. Whoever this
Aaliyah person was, she had obviously been prepared. I didn’t know what
had triggered the spell, but I had a pretty good guess it had something to do
with my line of questioning.
The Vampire was dying.
Without another thought, I lifted the dagger still gripped tightly in my
hand and thrusted it into his heart. I didn’t know if it was an act of pity to end
his suffering or selfishness to take credit for the kill. Perhaps it was a morbid
combination of both.
The second his body went slack, Killian pulled me into his arms and
buried his face in my hair.
“You still okay?” he asked softly. His large hand cupped my cheek
tenderly.
“Are you?” I countered. I knew this couldn’t be easy for him - seeing
death, being around death, taking part in it. I was surprised he was still
capable of touching me after what I kept doing in front of him. Whenever we
were together, I left behind a trail of bodies.
“You saved my life, Zara. Twice. I was being honest before when I said I
don’t care. I don’t see you as an assassin. I see you as you.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. A part of me wanted to collapse in
his arms and hug him to me. The other part of me wanted to run as fast as I
could in the opposite direction. I settled for awkwardly patting the hand still
cupping my cheek.
See? Compromise.
“I should probably inform the others of what happened,” Killian said. By
“others”, I assumed he meant the six princes.
“I’ll walk you to where you have to go,” I said immediately, reaching
down to pull on my underwear and pants. Killian watched me dressed with
heated eyes. Once again, the lust between us was almost palpable despite a
dead body lying only inches away. I really hoped this didn’t turn into a habit
of ours.
“I can walk by myself,” Killian said quietly. Defensively. His cheeks
turned red beneath his garnet hair. Realizing how my words had been
construed, as if he was incapable of protecting himself, I squeezed his hand.
“I know that. But obviously this Aaliyah chick has it out for you. Let me
just walk you to your room.”
“I can’t say I would mind spending more time with you,” Killian relented,
flashing me a dimpled smile. I instinctively smiled back. It was only as we
entered the Capital once again did all amusement get wiped from my face. I
was protecting a Nightmare. I was protecting a Nightmare when I should’ve
been killing him. The thought sent my heart into overdrive. Did it make me a
traitor to my race that I couldn’t imagine ever killing him? Even if he
murdered a human?
At that moment, I hated myself. I felt weak and vulnerable. Physically, I
held strength beyond my years, but mentally, I was a quivering mess of lost
love and endless sorrow. While before I felt indecision over what to do about
Killian, now, I only felt resolve. I would never hurt this strange Incubus
prince, and I would kill anyone that tried. The strength of my conviction
frightened me.
As I led Killian to his bedroom, I pondered over what this meant for me. I
was confused and frightened by my change in mentality. Had I been spelled?
But when Killian asked if he could see me again, and I said yes, there was
nothing but genuine happiness in his smile and eyes. He stared at me as if I
had offered him the world.
I’m afraid he was wrong about me though. I couldn’t give him the world.
Instead, I could only offer him dead bodies.
I HURRIED BACK to my room, slamming the door as if that could somehow
emphasize my anger.
How could I have been so stupid?
Developing a stupid crush on a prince?
And not just one prince.
My anger crested before receding deep into the recesses of my brain. I
had other things I needed to focus on, and an all-consuming self-hatred
wasn’t one of them.
Who was Aaliyah, and why did she want Killian dead? I would have to
find a way to communicate with B. Perhaps he had answers.
Was she a human resistance leader that happened to employ Nightmares
to do her bidding? A scorned lover? Someone else entirely? There were so
many questions that I knew wouldn’t get answered.
Rubbing a hand through my hair in frustration, I settled for taking a long
shower. The hot, steamy water calmed my tensed muscles. I still had to
restrain myself from running to Killian’s side, but I somehow managed. He
wouldn’t approve of a babysitter.
Yet.
In time, I would wear him down.
After my shower, I settled for practicing a few moves with my knife.
Ironically, a knife hadn’t been my preferred choice of weapon back at home.
I much preferred my bow and arrow or even my sword to such a small
device. It was almost comical that all of my kills had been with a knife.
Time sludged by slowly. I glanced periodically at the clock, willing the
hand to move a little faster. A wistful part of me wanted Killian to stop by my
room - Z’s room - but he never came. Soon, it was about time for me to get
ready for the dinner.
Mali had left a note stating that a dress had been delivered, and I opened
the closet expectantly. Glaring back at me was a beautiful purple dress.
Purple.
A damn purple dress.
Devlin’s color.
I didn’t have to be a genius to know that the Genie himself had sent it.
Grumbling, I slammed my closet door shut and stomped out of my
bedroom. After a few failed turns and numerous threats directed towards the
staff, I stopped outside a room that was indicated as Devlin’s.
Without preamble, I pounded my fist on the door. Admittedly, I imagined
that the wood was Devlin’s face. It was quite satisfying to imagine beating
the shit out of him.
It only took a moment for him to answer, and my tongue turned to cotton
in my mouth. He was so beautiful, so handsome, with his oval-shaped head,
tanned skin, and shock of dark hair. I was immediately bombarded by
memories of us together. Him spinning me around and kissing my nose. Us
lying in bed together. His stupid jokes. Being with him had felt like flying. It
was the greatest form of elation anyone could have. However, what went up