as thieves.
“Fine, I dare you to drink Sasha’s blood. Directly from the neck.”
A series of “ooohs” and “ahhhs” erupted from the assembled group.
Sasha ducked her head sheepishly, a tiny smile playing at her lips. I knew she
had a crush on me, and though I would prefer Maggie as my girlfriend,
Sasha was a solid second choice. She always carried homemade cookies.
“Fine,” I agreed as Lupe released a whoop, running in the direction of
the Capital building.
The sun was bright today, illuminating the carefully planted perennials
and roses lining the garden’s walkway. The sky was a canvas of brilliant
light blue speckled intermittently with swaths of gold. One would think that
the sky would be black with heavy storm clouds. It was only fitting—the worst
day of my life deserved fucking storm clouds.
Smirking, I rolled up my shirtsleeves and crawled over to Sasha.
“Are you okay with this?” I questioned, tilting my head to the side. I
hadn’t ever drunk directly from the source before. My dad had been trying to
convince me, but I’d always refused.
Sasha smiled again, nodding her head. “Yeah. I’ve never been bitten by a
Vampire before.” She tilted her head to the side, revealing her milky white
neck.
“It shouldn’t hurt,” I murmured, eyeing the throbbing vein with a wanton
need.
“Just do it already!” another girl, Talia or something, screamed before
breaking into giggles.
My fangs extended as Sasha’s pulse thumped wildly beneath her skin. I
was so, so thirsty...
Without giving myself a second chance to think, to change my mind, I bit
down. Blood immediately filled my mouth as I sucked deeply. Our venom was
designed to ensure our victims felt no pain. No fear. When we were older, I
heard we could release endorphins (whatever that meant) into the person’s
bloodstream.
Sasha released a gasp as I fed off of her. She tasted so damn good, her
blood significantly sweeter than the blood I got from bags and animals. It
was almost syrupy in texture, warm and inviting and soothing my throat. All
of my pain diminished, replaced by this insatiable need to consume, consume,
consume.
I wanted more.
I was dimly aware of someone screaming my name and telling me to stop.
My brothers, more than likely. Atta was crying. A fireball from Bash
penetrated my skin, but still, I drank. The blood refueled my depleted
reserves. I didn’t feel pain with her sweet, sweet blood coursing through my
system.
I was positively gluttonous.
Someone grabbed my shoulder and attempted to pull me off of her, but I
shoved him away with an enraged snarl, momentarily taking my lips off her
neck. But no, that wouldn’t do. I was still hungry.
I dropped my face back to her bloody neck and resumed with renewed
vigor.
So, so thirsty.
More bodies joined the first, pulling me away from my meal. I snarled
and thrashed, a wild animal unleashed, before noticing the vacant-eyed body
staring up at the sky.
Her neck had been ripped out, blood staining her clothes and the pebble
walkway. Her mouth was slightly open as if she had been in the midst of a
scream before death claimed her with the finality it did everything.
No. No. No. No.
I killed her. I killed her. I killed her.
As I watched, horrified, her face began to change and contort. Auburn
hair turned into golden locks. Her freckles disappeared until her face was
smooth and unblemished.
Now, it was Z looking up at the cloudless sky. Dead.
Because of me.
Because of me.
Because of me.
I vowed to myself, right then and there, that I would never have blood
again. Madness was the least I deserved after what I’d done to an innocent.
I was pulled out of the memory by someone slapping me across the face.
“How the hell did you get down?” Aaliyah questioned curiously as she
glanced from the chains on the wooden X to my crumbled form. She shook
her head once before kneeling down before me. “No matter.” Her hand
touched my naked stomach, and I winced away from her. I didn’t want her
touch. No, no, no. Her touch didn’t make my blood sing like my mate’s. And
I needed my blood to sing.
Sing. Sing. Sing.
Her smile grew at my instinctive retreat, but she removed her hand. “I see
that you’re healing… but you’re still refusing blood. Why?”
Blood. Blood cascading down the walls. Staining my hands.
So much blood.
“I can change that, you know,” she added almost conversationally. She
snapped her fingers, and my cell door was pushed open. An unfamiliar man
was dragged inside. He was covered in dirt and soot with dark hair that hung
to his shoulders. He trembled, staring wide-eyed at the two men who held
each of his arms. “I have... a special power, I suppose you could say.”
Aaliyah giggled, the sound deceptively childlike. “I was trying to give you
time to join me on your own, but...” She shook her head forlornly. “You’re
stubborn, Jax. I’ll give you that.”
She leaned over me, teeth glimmering in the flickering candlelight. Her
eyes ensnared mine, white wisps of smoking encircling my body like chains.
I could feel her presence prodding at my mind, demanding entrance. I had to
resist, I had to be stronger, I had to—
“Give in,” she whispered, her smile growing. “Give in to your sin. Be
gluttonous.”
Something...cracked inside of me. That was the only word I could think
of to use. The last shred of my humanity flitted away, carried by a gust of
wind. I was a shell of the man I remembered.
Be.
Gluttonous.
Need roared within me as I focused on the new man’s throat.
So, so thirsty.
No! Don’t! Stop! Don’t do this, Jax.
“Give in!” Aaliyah roared, clawing at my fragile mind.
The next thing I knew, I was lunging forward and tearing out the man’s
throat.
SIXTEEN
Z
I sat straight up with a gasp, heart splintering as I rapidly
inventoried the room. Killian was directly beside me, eyes closed
and breathing even. He looked different in sleep. Younger, almost,
and softer. His red hair, interwoven with darker garnet streaks, fluttered
around his sharp cheekbones.
“He’s going to be okay,” a soft voice whispered. I spun, heart lodged in
my throat, only to relax when I spotted Bash sitting rigidly on the chair
beside me. “Lupe went to get some food for you guys for whenever you woke
up,” he continued in that same calming voice. “Devlin is in his room, and
Ryland is...somewhere.” He gestured vaguely around the room as if the
Shadow could be hiding underneath the bed. Honestly? I wouldn’t be
surprised.
“Bash—”
Placing his hands on his knees, Bash pushed himself up. His sculpted
body flexed and dilated as he stretched his arms above his head. I was
momentarily struck dumb. Bash was...sexy. All my
mates were, honestly, but
Bash embodied the boy-next-door stereotype wrapped in a deliciously dark
package. With his blond hair rumpled and shirt creased with wrinkles, he
looked nothing like the guy I had first met.
The guy who was...snort...in the midst of an orgy with a flaccid dick.
Long story.
“I’ll leave,” he murmured, averting his eyes. I reached for him
immediately, my fingers grazing his shirt sleeve.
“Stay.” Did I plead? Fuck, I never pleaded. But the thought of Bash
leaving—of him walking out that door—was a physical pain. It felt like
dozens of tiny knives jabbing at my heart, bleeding the organ dry.
Bash hesitated, only briefly, before sitting once more in the plush
armchair. He still looked tense, his muscles locked and rigid. He was a
loaded gun seconds from going off.
And I just happened to be in the pathway of the bullet.
“I assumed you would want me to leave,” he said, tone deceptively light
and casual. His fingers thrummed on the armrest as he stared intently at a
hole in the chair, the sheet on the bed, anywhere besides my probing eyes. I
half wondered if he was a coward...or the smartest man alive.
“Why?” I sat up slightly, testing my sore muscles. I felt drained and tired,
but other than that, I was perfectly fine. I wondered if this was what Sleeping
Beauty felt like when she woke up.
On second thought, ew. The original story had the princess waking up
after being raped and her twin babies kicking in her stomach.
Ignoring my question, Bash released a heavy breath. It wasn’t technically
a sigh—it was almost as if he needed to make a conscious effort to breathe.
“I checked you over extensively. You’ll be sore, but...” He scrubbed a
hand down his haggard face.
“Sore but fine?” I finished for him, and his eyes snapped up to me. Bright
and wide and knowing. I had the distinct feeling he saw me more clearly than
I ever saw myself. “Bash?”
His jaw clenched as he ripped his gaze away from me, focusing instead
on his shortened nails.
“You don’t like me very much, do you?” he pointed out grimly. At my
stunned silence, he released another pent-up breath. “I don’t blame you. I was
a bit of an asshole.”
“A bit?” I interrupted, snorting. His lips twitched slightly in amusement.
“Anyway, if you don’t want me as your mate, I’ll go. I’ll leave. Just say
the fucking word and I’m gone.”
My breath caught as I stared at the man before me. The broken man. God,
why hadn’t I noticed how badly he was hurting? Why hadn’t I seen his pain?
Was that why he pushed me away?
“I don’t want you to go,” I answered vehemently. And I didn’t. Bash
might’ve annoyed the shit out of me—he might’ve been a condescending
asshole—but he was still my mate.
And for better or for worse, I cared about him.
Bash’s eyes tightened briefly with emotion—raw, undiluted emotion—
before his face turned serious. He leaned forward until his lips were a hair’s
breadth away from mine.
“I know,” he whispered, voice cold. Apathetic.
I veered back as if I’d been slapped. “What?”
“I know about the poison.”
I imagined his words were similar to sticking your finger into an
electrical socket. Or, hell, even a blazing inferno.
My mouth slackened in shock as panic coursed through my veins. I stared
at him numbly, and he stared back, neither of us giving anything away. His
eyes were icy, lips pursed, but I could see a multitude of emotions hovering
just beneath the surface.
“I—” My feeble excuse was gratefully staved off by a muffled groan
from beside me. I spun towards my Incubus mate as he lifted himself onto his
elbows, his blankets pooling around him.
“Z? What’s going on?” he murmured drowsily. “Bash, what the turd
nugget are you doing in our room?”
Turd nugget?
Before I could comment on his questionable choice of curse words,
Killian wrapped an arm around my stomach and cuddled me against his
muscular, tattooed chest.
“My girl and I are sleeping. Go away,” he murmured. Bash snorted,
getting to his feet once more and crossing to the opposite side of the bed.
With a malicious smile dancing on his lips, he grabbed a glass of water off
the bedside table. Then, he poured the water onto Killian’s head.
“What the hell, man?” Killian sputtered, wiping at the water droplets
cascading down his cheeks. The cold water finally seemed to penetrate his
sleepy brain. He glanced at me, then at Bash, and then back at me.
“What...whattt happened?” His stutter made another appearance as he finally
seemed to realize the magnitude of the situation. He scrubbed at his smooth-
shaven chin absent-mindedly. “I remember going to check on Z...”
“We were attacked,” I filled in, smoothing down his disheveled red hair.
“A Basilisk. He poisoned you, and I accidentally got some of the poison on
me as well.”
Killian’s eyes widened in remembrance—hell, it might’ve been plain old
constipation—before he pulled me into his arms.
I stroked his bare back soothingly. The old me would’ve laughed at his
over-protectiveness. The new me simply wanted to bask in it.
“I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about. You were fucking stabbed, Kill.” I
pulled away to stare at him, lowering my gaze to his chest and stomach. His
skin had been cleaned of blood, and when I touched his back, I felt nothing
but a puckered scar. I knew that it, too, would disappear with time. It was a
part of an Incubus’s allure—physical blemishes never lasted long.
“Bash must’ve saved my ass again,” Killian said fondly, throwing a smile
at his brother. The Mage’s face was unreadable, hewn from stone, but he
managed a brisk nod.
“Of course,” he murmured. His eyes pierced me, bled me, and then
haphazardly stitched me up.
I couldn’t get over the fact that Bash knew—he knew my dirty little
secret. Had he told the others? Would he? There was a reason I had been
keeping it quiet. I knew my mates would be devastated if they knew the truth.
Life was fleeting. There and gone in seconds. It was a corn stalk sitting in
an empty field, the wind rippling through the open expanse. One strong gust
could completely blow it away.
I knew my entire life that I was going to die young. Knew and even
accepted it. How could I not? I saw people die every damn day in my line of
duty. Friends, family members, acquaintances. My own parents were
murdered before my very eyes. As was S, one of my first loves. Something
fundamental inside of me died with them—a piece of me I knew I would
never get back.
I didn’t want my mates to experience the same pain that I had. I didn’t
want them to fret over the inevitable. Was it selfish? Maybe.
I just knew a part of me would die if they ever learned the truth. At least,
die before my expiration date.
Killian
intertwined his fingers with mine and offered me a shy smile.
“I’m really glad you’re okay,” he whispered, low enough so the words stayed
between the two of us. I gave his hand a squeeze in response.
“And I’m really glad you’re okay.”
Because a world without Killian wasn’t one I wanted to live in.
The door to my room was pushed open, and the first thing I saw was a
chiseled ass. And, yes, I was openly ogling said ass. No, I wasn’t going to
apologize.
Using his ass to push open the door, Lupe wheeled in a cart of delicious
smelling food. I spotted glazed strawberries, chicken fillets, and even a bowl
of ice cream. The large man looked positively domestic.
My body filled with warmth as he spun around, finally noticing me and
Killian sitting up in bed.
“You’re awake!” he exclaimed, running forward. He looked as if he was
seconds from tackling me, but he managed to stop himself just before he
touched me. Instead, his hands hovered over my arms and shoulders as if he
was desperate to hold me but didn’t dare. “I was so fucking worried.” His
voice lowered to a primal growl. “Don’t do that to me again.”
“I’ll try not to get poisoned, don’t worry,” I drawled sarcastically, but
inside, I was floating. Yeah, these men were starting to wear me down.
Chipping away the hard exterior to reveal the malleable, gooey center. If B
could see me now...
My good mood rapidly faded, as it always did when I thought about the
leader of the Alphabet Resistance. According to HH and T, the compound
that housed over one hundred members had been emptied. No one knew
where they went.
Or if they were even alive.
I shook my head to clear my cluttered thoughts, smiling up at the massive
man above me. He didn’t have his glasses on, so his face looked even more
masculine. With his brown scruff, piercing eyes, and slightly crooked nose,
he was beautiful. Sexy.
Almost hesitantly, I reached up to touch his face. Yeah, he was my mate
and I knew he cared about me (shower sexy times, anyone?), but I was still
unsure of how to act around him. Around any of them, actually.
“I’m okay,” I whispered, leaning forward to kiss first one cheek and then
the other. Lupe’s eyes flared with heat and something else, something I didn’t
want to name. Changing the subject, I asked, “What’s the plan? For