Every Minute I Love You
a Tomb of Ashen Tears Book 3
Kailee Reese Samuels
Every Minute I Love You (a Tomb of Ashen Tears Book 3)
Copyright © 2019 by Kailee Reese Samuels
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including, but not limited to, photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author, except in the case of author credited, brief quotations in reviews.
This is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons living or dead, actual events, locale, or organizations is entirely and purely coincidental.
All characters depicted in sexual acts in this work of fiction are 18 years of age or older.
E-Book Edition: October 1, 2019
ISBN 978-1-947362-76-5
Editing by The Red Pen Queen
W A R N I N G S
are like cups of tea.
This warning is here for a reason.
This book is a work of fiction containing explicit, graphic, and violent material.
If you’re not 18+, put it the fuck down.
Please practice safe sex.
Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC)
and
Risk-Awareness Consensual Kink (RACK)
practices in BDSM.
Communication is key and I do not believe anything should be swept under the rug - sexuality, gender orientation, race, age, or religion. If I help stir the cauldron of conversation and provide an escape for a few hours, I have done my job.
Play hard and have fun.
Be good and love one another.
Enjoy the ride!
Without further ado, here we go…
Every Minute I Love You
is the third book in
a Tomb of Ashen Tears.
This will be an intense piece for some.
Don’t be afraid to take an emotional breather.
Enjoy it!
xx
Kailee Books
A printable reading list is available:
Sal’s Reading List
22
A&E
Bad Girl
Juliet
Kinky Sex Magic
Madness
Poppy
She/He
a Tomb of Ashen Tears
Salt Kissed Love
Famous Last Words
Every Minute I Love You
SONS
Son of Saint
Son of Angel
Son of Cirque
Son of Master
Sal Raniero Thrillers
Unspoken (Prequel to Hey Pretty)
Hey Pretty
The Story of Salvatore
The Initiation
Tea for Two
Grunt
Hopechest
RIDE
Fluff
Bounce
Raw
Nocturne
A Shimmering Dream
The Red Shoes
Hop onboard the Kailee Train:
KaileeReeseSamuels.com
Every Minute I Love You Playlist
Listen to the music that inspired Every Minute I Love You on Spotify
Silence (feat. Sarah McLachlan) – Delerium
Dance Like You Fuckin’ – Too $hort
Famous Last Words – My Chemical Romance
girl from texas – Diveliner
Flaws – Daughter
Dirty Paws – Of Monsters And Men
Hate Me – Ellie Goulding, Juice WRLD
If There’s A Rocket Tie Me To It – Snow Patrol
Make a Shadow – Meg Myers
Rescue Me – Unions
Moments Passed – Dermot Kennedy
Leave – Post Malone
Lost Angels (From Swaecation) – Rae Sremmurd, Swae Lee, Slim Jxmmi
Madame Butterfly (Un Vel Di Vedremo) – Malcolm McLaren
Big Fish – Vince Staples
I Think I’m OKAY – Machine Gun Kelly, YUNGBLUD, Travis Barker
Give Her Some Money – Maliibu Miitch
Collapsed – Natalie Taylor
Safe & Sound (from The Hunger Games Soundtrack) – Taylor Swift, The Civil Wars
Coming Home (Part II / Bonus Track) – Skylar Grey
Fly Tonight (feat. Frankmusik) – RuPaul, Frankmusik
Take Care (Feat. Rihanna) – Drake, Rihanna
90 Days – P!nk, Wrabel
Just Wanna – Iggy Azalea
Holy Ground – Taylor Swift
I Hope – Gabby Barrett
Lullaby (Extended Mix)[Remastered] – The Cure
Sunspots – Nine Inch Nails
Break My Bones – John Taylor
Love It If We Made It – The 1975
Return to Innocence (Long & Alive Version) – Enigma
Smell Yo D*ck – Riskay, Aviance, Real, Aviance, Real
Gun – Mas Ysa
Sissy That Walk – RuPaul
Birthday Bitch – Trap Beckham
Candy – Machine Gun Kelly, Trippie Redd
Chasing Kites – iamamiwhoami
Rolie Polie Ravioli – Onlygotdope
Call Me Mother – RuPaul, KUMMERSPECK
The Red Shoes – Kate Bush
Boasty (feat. Idris Elba) – Wiley, Stefflon Don, Sean Paul
I’m Not Sorry – Meg Myers
The Bones – Maren Morris
Mt. Washington – Local Natives
Center Stage – Indigo Girls
Butterflies – Little Dragon
Two Black Cadillacs – Carrie Underwood
Crack The Shutters – Snow Patrol
Samurai (Tiësto Radio Edit) – R3hab
Never Really Over – Katy Perry
Revelation (From “Boy Erased”) – Troye Sivan, Jónsi
The End of Love – Florence + the Machine
You Should Be Dancing – Bee Gees
Rag Doll – Aerosmith
Video Games (Remastered) – Lana Del Rey
Candy Paint – Post Malone
Feeling Whitney – Post Malone
Waste Love – Machine Gun Kelly, Madison Love
I Fall Apart – Post Malone
hot girl bummer – blackbear
Lean Like a Cholo – DJ Snake Machine
Shaking – Melissa Etheridge
Touch Me Fall – Indigo Girls
Hurts Like Hell – Fleurie
Buried Alive – Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Dr. Octagon
This Train Revised (Live at the Walker Theater) – Indigo Girls
Dancing On My Own (Acoustic) – Calum Scott
Truth Hurts – Lizzo
Can You Hear Me? – Fleurie
Frenemy – Shaggy
Keep Your Shoes On – Scissor Sisters
Soldier – Fleurie
Maps – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Truth Is a Beautiful Thing – London Grammar
Goodbyes – Post Malone, Young Thug
Sadeness (Part I / Violent U.S. Remix) – Enigma
Sex Drive – Machine Gun Kelly
Final Teardrop – Rupert Pope
If You Want Love – NF
Someone You Loved – Lewis Capaldi
An Evening I Will Not Forget / Furthest Thing – Dermot Kennedy
IN MEMORIUM
For my Hawaiian Hula doll,
Jacqueline Miulana Sing Chang Nee Nohealani Pickard A
keo Livsey
07.27.1939 - 08.15.2019
Godspeed, Sweet Angel.
My boy wants a dance with you on the other side.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you for reading Sal.
Thank you for being you.
More than words.
J + k
“Writing a book is like diving off of a mountain.
The real worry isn’t hitting the rocks
but not being brave enough to take the step.”
- Kailee Reese Samuels
August 1, 2019
You are the reason I do this.
You are the reason every word counts.
You are the reason Sal continues to breathe.
…and you are the reason I do it again and again.
And to the stranger, who out of the blue messaged,
telling me get up off the fucking ground and not quit…
Thank you, Nikki.
You caught me.
And this one is yours.
“Two roads diverged
in a yellow wood...”
– Robert Frost,
The Road Not Taken
Contents
I. Prelude to a Cage
A crumpled note
2016
1. Prayers of a Sinner
2. Bones of a Man
3. The Blood in My Veins Screams His Name
4. One-Night Hussy
5. Thank God I’m Outta There
6. Journey to the Kernal
7. Dead Mistress
8. Use My Gun
9. Ghost-tripping Haunt
10. Ghetto Thug
11. Dirty Money
12. The SAINT
13. Cook For Me—n a k e d
14. Floating Away
Two Seasons
II. Call Off Your Hounds
Part I of 2017
15. Here Comes Trouble
16. White Lead Based Paint
17. Come to Daddy
18. Never Saw This Coming
19. D33¶ $T4CK$
20. The Matriarch Woes
21. Enemy Points
22. Suck My Pacifier
23. Nicotine Burns
24. I Hate How Much I Love Her
25. Poles of My Bi (Bipolar)
26. Self-Restraint
27. Sticks Won’t Cushion The Drop
28. Cleanse My Soul in Pixie Shards
III. Fight to Break Free
Part II of 2017
29. Down Came the Spider
30. Like Her Crab, This Cancer Grows
31. Humidity Hailstorm
32. Broken Trajectory
33. Before We Were
34. This Cheese Smells Foul
IV. The Flower
35. 180º
36. Really, Bitch?
37. B.L.O.W. up
38. Metal Shrapnel in Our Whirligig Dervish
39. Unreal Remedy
40. Fluffy Cream Filling
41. Q is for Queen
42. The Sacred Stain of Sanguine
V. The Flight of Unrecoverable Cuts
Part I of 2018
43. Fucking Unforgiving Forgetting (FUF This Shit)
44. Cryptic Muses
45. Yield to the Worms in My Grave
46. Stay In Your Own Goddamned Lane
47. Fresh New Hands
48. I’m Pretty Sure Everyone Hates Me
49. Skidding Hot Collision
50. All the Lies
51. You Are Not Yours
VI. And the Willow
52. Turn My Little Masochist Cravings On
53. Diddle in My Grotto
54. The Hidden Fiddler
55. This Is So Fucked Up
56. Cuts Bleed Black
57. No Hesitation In The Scar
VII. A White Picket Fence Is Just a Bigger Cage
Part II of 2018
58. Sticky Sweet Taste of Her Sour Candy
59. Just a Cowboy Banquet for a Hard-Up Italian Boy
60. Penetrate My Purification Engine
61. Please Swimmers, Stay Away From Her Shores
62. Not in My House, Bitch
63. Same As I Always Was
64. Shitswamp
65. Rise My Minions
66. For A Crust of Bread
67. In The Sweatshop, I Get No Sleep
VIII. The Last Bird in a Corner
Climate Change
68. Box of Dreams
69. Ladder to the Sky
70. Samurai in the Snow
71. Hello Hello
72. Epic Fissure in the Globule
73. Iris in the Hurricane
74. Sunshine Storms
75. Whiskey Map
76. The Angel's Devil
77. The Infinite Lair
78. The Infinite Mean
79. Fucking in Flight
Victory Hustle
IX. A Samurai, His Butterfly, and The Sword
80. The Devil's Angel
81. Nine Sense a Day
82. Slaughter the Horses, Bury the Innocent
83. fait accompli
Sal & Iris in TAT4
Madness
The Red Shoes
Ms. Samuels Notes
Kailee Books
I
Prelude to a Cage
A crumpled note
hot cement culverts on the playground
sharing and talking and fighting
with licks of ice cream
swapped spit all summer long
I, the pest; you, the responsible
hold your hand
drink my water
look both ways
use my words
with everything
splashes on canvas
you say I’m bright like the sun
with my clay-caked fingers
you say keep going with this
violence soaks in your soul
paling the boy I love
flee and hide away
dreaming of peaceful days
split in half
two sides of you
one never seen
you captured my craving
with nothing
she stole your heart
that should be mine
she has the side of you
I long to meet
on your stained sheets
laying in your cum
with your promise on my finger
I wait to take your name
I wait to be yours.
I wait to be in his cage.
- Emily xo
2016
1
Prayers of a Sinner
Wearing the dark blue tailored suit with a black trench coat, I fold the note from Emily and tuck it inside of my jacket pocket. Walking from the parking lot, I feel like I’m morphing into the skewed version of the man Luca Raniero was—classic, old mafia.
Beneath the layers, my inked skin shrouds the darkness of my soul where the truth keeps my pure, hidden and safe. This is nothing more than a charade, a mask for the masses, but when I peel away the lies—the magic cross in my spirit craves the love of an interwoven girl.
The one true love of my life, Iris Amarie Nakamura Kettles, is as dynamic as the chocolate croissant we’ll meet over with hundreds of gauze-like layers, each with their own fantastical labyrinth. I long to pull the pieces apart, hold them up to the light for closer inspection, only to savor each one in the darkest of night.
I’ve kept the depth of my feelings—my emotions—trapped away. I've committed sins to protect her, and I’d do it again without blinking. I'd do it again without thinking. Guarding her is as natural as breathing.
I don’t think of Emily or the note.
I can’t because I’m in love with Iris.
And she knows.
The rain and snow mix pours from the sky as I open the massive wooden door to the off the beaten path Catholic Church.
The hinges creak announcing my intrusion, the holy sinner in God’s house. I’m about an hour outside of Boston, in a little suburb, where Father Philip Quinn offered to meet me.