~
My phone buzzes.
It’s Alex.
-Hey, you didn’t say bye.
-Bye lol.
My stomach twists as I send the message. That’s not what he meant. He’s going to know something’s up. I always say bye to him. Ugh, what a stupid move. Of course I would do that. Why am I so f——ing stupid?
-R you ok?
-Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?
-Because you always tell me bye. Plus you didn’t look to good on your way out.
-My stomach hurt is all.
-Uh huh.
Here it comes.
Guilt.
-No, really.
-What aren’t you telling me, Sophia? And don’t say nothing.
-But it’s really nothing. Just stomach ache.
-Ik you better than that.
He really does.
-I’m fine. Don’t worry bout it.
-Promise?
-Promise.
-On my life?
No, I think to myself.
I take a shaky breath as my stomach twists a little more. I’m just trying to protect him from getting laughed at when he lectures everyone about Jesus, is all. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But why do I feel so terrible?
-On your life.
-Ok. Good. I’ll be praying for you. Goodnight, sweet dreams. God Bless.
-Night. You too.
I set the phone facedown on my bed and run my hands over my face. A sound rose from my stomach that sounded like a whale. Is that what guilt sounds like? A flipping whale?
Whale.
I pick at my legs. They’re really muscly, but… they’re so… so flabby.
I shake my head and pick the phone back up. I call up Charlie, my boyfriend.
“Ello?” He slurs.
I put my head on my hand.
“Are you drunk?” I ask, almost disgusted.
“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” He giggles hysterically. “I’m still perfectly—Oh! Sorry man, I didn’t see you there. Yeah, I know… hot right?”
I clear my throat.
“Babe! I forgot you were there,” He giggles. “Call me tomorrow. I’m really busy,” He slurs. “Bye.”
The connection ends.
I look at my clock.
If I plan to have a party tomorrow night, I can’t look worn out and tired. I need sleep.
Even if that means I have to face her again.
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