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    Blood Water Paint


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      DUTTON BOOKS

      An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC

      375 Hudson Street

      New York, NY 10014

      Copyright © 2018 by Joy McCullough

      Credit for page 294: “Study of a woman’s right hand, Pierre Dumonstier, 1625” © The Trustees of the British Museum. All rights reserved.

      Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Names: McCullough, Joy, author.

      Title: Blood water paint / by Joy McCullough.

      Description: New York, NY : Dutton Books, [2018] | Summary: In Renaissance Italy, Artemisia Gentileschi endures the subjugation of women that allows her father to take credit for her extraordinary paintings, rape and the ensuing trial, and torture, buoyed by her deceased mother’s stories of strong women of the Bible.

      Identifiers: LCCN 2017020678| ISBN 9780735232112 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780735232129 (ebook)

      Subjects: LCSH: Gentileschi, Artemisia, 1593-1652 or 1653—Juvenile fiction. | CYAC: Novels in verse. | Gentileschi, Artemisia, 1593-1652 or 1653—Fiction. | Artists—Fiction. | Sex role—Fiction. | Rape—Fiction. | Trials (Rape)—Fiction. | Renaissance—Italy—Fiction. | Italy—History—1559-1789—Fiction.

      Classification: LCC PZ7.5.M435 Blo 2018 | DDC [Fic]—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017020678

      This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

      Jacket photo by Liliya Rodnikova

      Jacket design by Theresa Evangelista

      Version_1

      Contents

      Title Page

      Copyright

      Dedication

      PART I Chapter 1

      Chapter 2

      Chapter 3

      Chapter 4

      Chapter 5

      Chapter 6

      Chapter 7

      Chapter 8

      Chapter 9

      Chapter 10

      Chapter 11

      Chapter 12

      Chapter 13

      Chapter 14

      PART II Surrounded

      Chapter 15

      Chapter 16

      Chapter 17

      Chapter 18

      Carefree

      Chapter 19

      Trapped

      Chapter 20

      Chapter 21

      Chapter 22

      Chapter 23

      Chapter 24

      Chapter 25

      Watched

      Chapter 26

      Chapter 27

      Chapter 28

      Take Action

      Chapter 29

      Chapter 30

      PART III Chapter 31

      Chapter 32

      Chapter 33

      Chapter 34

      Chapter 35

      Chapter 36

      Chapter 37

      Prepare

      Chapter 38

      Chapter 39

      Chapter 40

      Chapter 41

      Chapter 42

      Chapter 43

      Chapter 44

      Chapter 45

      Chapter 46

      Chapter 47

      Chapter 48

      Tame

      Chapter 49

      Consider

      Chapter 50

      Wonder

      Chapter 51

      Survive

      Chapter 52

      Escape

      Chapter 53

      Chapter 54

      Chapter 55

      PART IV Sinful

      Chapter 56

      Chapter 57

      Chapter 58

      Chapter 59

      Chapter 60

      Chapter 61

      Arrive

      Chapter 62

      Chapter 63

      Chapter 64

      Chapter 65

      Chapter 66

      Chapter 67

      Chapter 68

      Chapter 69

      Chapter 70

      Chapter 71

      Righteous

      Chapter 72

      Chapter 73

      Chapter 74

      Chapter 75

      Chapter 76

      Chapter 77

      Chapter 78

      Chapter 79

      Chapter 80

      Chapter 81

      Chapter 82

      Chapter 83

      Chapter 84

      Chapter 85

      Chapter 86

      Chapter 87

      Chapter 88

      Chapter 89

      Chapter 90

      PART V Chapter 91

      Chapter 92

      Broken

      Chapter 93

      Breathe

      Chapter 94

      Chapter 95

      Chapter 96

      Chapter 97

      Chapter 98

      Chapter 99

      Chapter 100

      Afterword

      Acknowledgments

      Resources

      For Cordelia,

      I want to know your story

      PART I

      1.

      Everything begins from here:

      the viewing point,

      the place where you stand,

      your eye level.

      That single point on the horizon

      where all other lines

      converge.

      2.

      Sometimes when I breathe in

      the linseed oil and turpentine

      and roll the brush between my fingers

      when I train my eyes

      on what’s ahead: my purpose,

      and listen only to the rise and fall

      of my own breath as I connect

      the brush to the paint to my breath to the canvas

      I shut out the rest.

      And then?

      My father’s rants

      tirades

      rages

      over debts

      commissions

      jealousies

      recede into the background,

      underpainting

      that I’ll cover up

      with strokes

      of my own choosing.

      I do not hear him

      crit
    icize technique, complain

      I’ve strayed from his intent

      remind me who the painter is.

      It’s funny how the painter’s not:

      the one with pigment smeared into her skin

      the one whose body

      is as permanent a fixture

      in this studio as stool, palette, easel,

      the only one whose heart is flung across this canvas.

      No: the painter merely signs his name

      and takes his gold.

      3.

      Gold could be the answer

      to the Holy Child’s curls.

      Plain brown and he’s no different

      from my younger brothers

      at our mother’s breast.

      I study my palette,

      wonder how to blend

      a luminescent glow.

      I do not notice Father

      stalking toward me

      till he flings his arm

      toward the easel,

      knocks a crock of brushes

      to the floor.

      I can’t tell who it’s supposed to be!

      I sit back, assess

      the angle of the Virgin Mary’s arm

      as she cradles her holy child.

      Little wonder

      you don’t recognize them.

      When was the last time

      you accompanied us to Mass?

      Don’t get smart with me.

      My father spits his words,

      flecks of rage arcing over my head

      and slapping baby Jesus on the cheek.

      If your brothers showed any promise—

      —They don’t.

      I ought to paint

      with lighter strokes.

      Dwelling on

      my talentless brothers

      only incites him.

      They limit his prospects,

      leaving him

      for his apprentice

      nothing but

      a seventeen-year-old girl.

      4.

      Seventeen giulios

      will buy a certain amount

      of bread when Tuzia

      hobbles to market,

      clutching the purse

      between gnarled fingers.

      When she sends me, though,

      if I duck my chin,

      peer up through fluttered lashes,

      give a twinkling smile

      to Piero the baker

      while my fingers brush his,

      seventeen giulios

      can suddenly buy

      several more loaves

      than they did before.

      The bread is paid for

      by commissions

      I complete and so

      my father does not dispute

      a girl apprentice.

      (Dispute? No.

      Show gratitude? Well.)

      5.

      What is that ridiculous

      expression on her face?

      I redirect my eye

      to the Madonna’s face.

      He is my teacher, after all,

      for what he’s worth

      (not much).

      A mediocre painter,

      Orazio Gentileschi,

      but from time to time

      he drops a seed

      I can nurture

      into something more fruitful

      than he’s ever imagined.

      Or sometimes

      what he says

      is wrong,

      but if I pinpoint

      why he said it,

      I learn.

      This is such a time.

      Her face is not ridiculous.

      She gazes at her child in adoration.

      The baby may be holy king savior god

      but to his mother

      he is simply love.

      She looks drunk.

      I try to shake him off,

      hike up my skirts

      for ease of motion

      to reach for my paints,

      connect with the canvas.

      What does he know

      of motherly love?

      Though if I am careless,

      my mother’s voice

      in my imagination

      will recede.

      6.

      Not even voice

      but breath upon my neck,

      the slightest whisper

      if I concentrate,

      reach out in hopes

      I’ll feel her reaching back.

      She’s there, but not.

      My head tipped back,

      gaze heavenward,

      these dismal surroundings

      fall away.

      Nearly.

      In a moment of madness

      (or clarity)

      my ambition

      burns a hole in the ceiling,

      allows the light

      a direct path to

      my canvas.

      But then Father’s there,

      my gaze snaps down.

      Get downstairs.

      Potential buyers.

      And so I’m hustled

      down the stairs

      as loudmouthed men

      ascend to fill the studio

      (my studio),

      intent on courting favor

      from the church

      by flaunting pious art

      to make up for

      less-than-pious lives.

      Two men pass

      without a glance my way,

      the third makes very sure

      I feel his gaze.

      No longer do I covet light.

      I wish men

      would decide

      if women are heavenly

      angels on high,

      or earthbound sculptures

      for their gardens.

      But either way we’re beauty

      for consumption.

      7.

      Head out of the clouds, girl.

      We’re off to market.

      Tuzia shoves

      a basket into my arms.

      I blink,

      try to shake off

      the weight of a gaze

      I never welcomed

      from a man

      who now occupies

      my studio, perhaps

      even sits on my stool

      as he ogles

      my Madonna.

      On our return, though,

      Tuzia will weigh me down

      with produce, beans, dried fish.

      She says young arms

      can better bear the weight,

      but then I wonder:

      Why not bring my brothers?

      My thoughts wander

      heavenward again

      as I linger with my Madonna

      —and her child

      too small to understand

      what she has sacrificed

      to give him life—

      while my feet trip along

      the cobblestones

      of Piazza di Santa Maria.

      Piazzas, churches

      named for a teenager

      who gave life to the Christ.

      Sculptures, paintings, frescoes

      devoted to her holiness.

      But the only thing about her

      we remember:

      she was a virgin.

      We must stop by

      the apothecary.

      Your father needs

      more linseed oil.

      My father needs more linseed oil,

      Prospective buyers need the studio.

      The boys need figs and fritters,

     
    sugared apples Tuzia buys for them

      with coins

      that should be mine.

      But I’m not meant

      to have desires at all.

      8.

      When I am wrenched from easel

      to fulfill some menial task

      just as easily completed

      by one without the skill to paint,

      I am determined to use the time

      to my advantage.

      If I must leave the studio

      at least I’ll notice every shade of green

      that’s blended through the trees

      and how a crack divides

      a cobblestone, ant brethren

      stranded across a great divide.

      These are things I must observe

      if I’m to paint the world with truth.

      And yet I am distracted from my purpose,

      not by Tuzia’s constant rambling,

      but by my mother’s voice,

      more vivid in this place

      than any shade of green.

      I spiral down

      through many years

      until I do not only hear her voice;

      I’m with my mother

      on the way to market,

      skipping through this very square.

      The Piazza di Santa Maria’s

      octagonal fountain boasts

      four stone wolves,

      at watch for centuries.

      I’m not certain

      whether the beasts

      are meant to protect

      the Holy Mother

      or remind her

      of her place.

      The fountain is undergoing renovation.

      I want to stop, observe

      the craftsmen as they chisel

      the stone, but Mother yearns

      to move along.

      The baby’s coming soon

      (I cast a wish toward heaven

      that I might finally have a sister)

      and Mother’s feet are swollen

      from the weight

      she bears.

      Still, she says,

      the sun beating down

      on her aching back,

      You watch, my love, my life.

      This fountain

      in our little piazza

      will now be connected

      to the aqueduct

      Acqua Felice.

      This is progress,

      before your eyes.

      You watch.

      Now she’s dead.

      I’ve seen no progress.

      The stone wolves

      remain fixed to earth.

      The only thing

      that’s changed is

      she’s not here

      to say

      I see you

      hear you

      want to know

     


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