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    Heart of Darkness

    Page 6
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    a peace. It was the stillness of an implacable force

      brooding over an inscrutable intention. It looked at

      you with a vengeful aspect. I got used to it afterwards;

      I did not see it any more; I had no time. I had to keep

      guessing at the channel; I had to discern, mostly by

      inspiration, the signs of hidden banks; I watched for

      sunken stones; I was learning to clap my teeth smartly

      before my heart flew out, when I shaved by a fluke

      some infernal sly old snag that would have ripped the

      life out of the tin-pot steamboat and drowned all the

      pilgrims; I had to keep a lookout for the signs of

      dead wood we could cut up in the night for next day's

      steaming. When you have to attend to things of that

      sort, to the mere incidents of the surface, the reality --

      the reality, I tell you -- fades. The inner truth is hid-

      den -- luckily, luckily. But I felt it all the same; I

      felt often its mysterious stillness watching me at my

      monkey tricks, just as it watches you fellows perform-

      ing on your respective tight-ropes for -- what is it?

      half-a-crown a tumble --"

      "Try to be civil, Marlow," growled a voice, and I

      knew there was at least one listener awake besides

      myself.

      "I beg your pardon. I forgot the heartache which

      makes up the rest of the price. And indeed what does

      the price matter, if the trick be well done? You do

      your tricks very well. And I didn't do badly either,

      since I managed not to sink that steamboat on my first

      trip. It's a wonder to me yet. Imagine a blindfolded

      man set to drive a van over a bad road. I sweated and

      shivered over that business considerably, I can tell

      you. After all, for a seaman, to scrape the bottom of

      the thing that's supposed to float all the time under

      his care is the unpardonable sin. No one may know of

      it, but you never forget the thump -- eh? A blow on

      the very heart. You remember it, you dream of it, you

      wake up at night and think of it -- years after -- and go

      hot and cold all over. I don't pretend to say that

      steamboat floated all the time. More than once she

      had to wade for a bit, with twenty cannibals splashing

      around and pushing. We had enlisted some of these

      chaps on the way for a crew. Fine fellows -- cannibals

      -- in their place. They were men one could work with,

      and I am grateful to them. And, after all, they did

      not eat each other before my face: they had brought

      along a provision of hippo-meat which went rotten,

      and made the mystery of the wilderness stink in my

      nostrils. Phoo! I can sniff it now. I had the manager

      on board and three or four pilgrims with their staves

      -- all complete. Sometimes we came upon a station

      close by the bank, clinging to the skirts of the un-

      known, and the white men rushing out of a tumble-

      down hovel, with great gestures of joy and surprise

      and welcome, seemed very strange -- had the appear-

      ance of being held there captive by a spell. The word

      ivory would ring in the air for a while -- and on we

      went again into the silence, along empty reaches,

      round the still bends, between the high walls of our

      winding way, reverberating in hollow claps the pon-

      derous beat of the stern-wheel. Trees, trees, millions

      of trees, massive, immense, running up high; and

      at their foot, hugging the bank against the stream,

      crept the little begrimed steamboat, like a sluggish

      beetle crawling on the floor of a lofty portico. It made

      you feel very small, very lost, and yet it was not alto-

      gether depressing, that feeling. After all, if you were

      small, the grimy beetle crawled on -- which was just

      what you wanted it to do. Where the pilgrims im-

      agined it crawled to I don't know. To some place

      where they expected to get something. I bet! For me

      it crawled towards Kurtz -- exclusively; but when the

      steam-pipes started leaking we crawled very slow.

      The reaches opened before us and closed behind, as if

      the forest had stepped leisurely across the water to

      bar the way for our return. We penetrated deeper and

      deeper into the heart of darkness. It was very quiet

      there. At night sometimes the roll of drums behind

      the curtain of trees would run up the river and remain

      sustained faintly, as if hovering in the air high over

      our heads, till the first break of day. Whether it meant

      war, peace, or prayer we could not tell. The dawns

      were heralded by the descent of a chill stillness; the

      wood-cutters slept, their fires burned low; the snap-

      ping of a twig would make you start. We were wan-

      derers on a prehistoric earth, on an earth that wore the

      aspect of an unknown planet. We could have fancied

      ourselves the first of men taking possession of an ac-

      cursed inheritance, to be subdued at the cost of pro-

      found anguish and of excessive toil. But suddenly,

      as we struggled round a bend, there would be a

      glimpse of rush walls, of peaked grass-roofs, a burst

      of yells, a whirl of black limbs, a mass of hands clap-

      ping, of feet stamping, of bodies swaying, of eyes

      rolling, under the droop of heavy and motionless

      foliage. The steamer toiled along slowly on the edge

      of a black and incomprehensible frenzy. The prehis-

      toric man was cursing us, praying to us, welcoming us

      -- who could tell? We were cut off from the compre-

      hension of our surroundings; we glided past like

      phantoms, wondering and secretly appalled, as sane

      men would be before an enthusiastic outbreak in a

      madhouse. We could not understand because we were

      too far and could not remember because we were

      travelling in the night of first ages, of those ages that

      are gone, leaving hardly a sign -- and no memories.

      "The earth seemed unearthly. We are accustomed

      to look upon the shackled form of a conquered mon-

      ster, but there -- there you could look at a thing mon-

      strous and free. It was unearthly, and the men were

      -- No, they were not inhuman. Well, you know,

      that was the worst of it -- this suspicion of their not

      being inhuman. It would come slowly to one. They

      howled and leaped, and spun, and made horrid faces;

      but what thrilled you was just the thought of their

      humanity -- like yours -- the thought of your remote

      kinship with this wild and passionate uproar. Ugly.

      Yes, it was ugly enough; but if you were man enough

      you would admit to yourself that there was in you just

      the faintest trace of a response to the terrible frank-

      ness of that noise, a dim suspicion of there being a

      meaning in it which you -- you so remote from the

      night of first ages -- could comprehend. And why not?

      The mind of man is capable of anything -- because

      everything is in it, all the past as well as all the future.

      What was there after all? Joy, fear, sorrow, devotion,

      valour, rage -- who can tell? -- but truth -- truth

      stripped of i
    ts cloak of time. Let the fool gape and

      shudder -- the man knows, and can look on without a

      wink. But he must at least be as much of a man as

      these on the shore. He must meet that truth with his

      own true stuff -- with his own inborn strength. Princi-

      ples won't do. Acquisitions, clothes, pretty rags -- rags

      that would fly off at the first good shake. No; you

      want a deliberate belief. An appeal to me in this fiend-

      ish row -- is there? Very well; I hear; I admit, but I

      have a voice, too, and for good or evil mine is the

      speech that cannot be silenced. Of course, a fool, what

      with sheer fright and fine sentiments, is always safe.

      Who's that grunting? You wonder I didn't go ashore

      for a howl and a dance? Well, no -- I didn't. Fine

      sentiments, you say? Fine sentiments, be hanged! I

      had no time. I had to mess about with white-lead and

      strips of woolen blanket helping to put bandages on

      those leaky steampipes -- I tell you. I had to watch

      the steering, and circumvent those snags, and get the

      tin-pot along by hook or by crook. There was surface-

      truth enough in these things to save a wiser man. And

      between whiles I had to look after the savage who was

      fireman. He was an improved specimen; he could fire

      up a vertical boiler. He was there below me, and,

      upon my word, to look at him was as edifying as

      seeing a dog in a parody of breeches and a feather

      hat, walking on his hindlegs. A few months of

      training had done for that really fine chap. He

      squinted at the steam-gauge and at the water-guage

      with an evident effort of intrepidity -- and he had

      filed teeth, too, the poor devil, and the wool of his

      pate shaved into queer patterns, and three orna-

      mental scars on each of his cheeks. He ought to have

      been clapping his hands and stamping his feet on the

      bank, instead of which he was hard at work, a thrall to

      strange witchcraft, full of improving knowledge. He

      was useful because he had been instructed; and what

      he knew was this -- that should the water in that trans-

      parent thing disappear, the evil spirit inside the

      boiler would get angry through the greatness of his

      thirst, and take a terrible vengeance. So he sweated

      and watched the glass fearfully (with an impromptu

      charm, made of rags, tied to his arm, and a piece of

      polished bone, as big as a watch, stuck flatways through

      his lower lip), while the wooded banks slipped past

      us slowly, the short noise was left behind, the inter-

      minable miles of silence -- and we crept on, towards

      Kurtz. But the snags were thick, the water was treach-

      erous and shallow, the boiler seemed indeed to have

      a sulky devil in it, and thus neither that fireman nor

      I had any time to peer into our creepy thoughts.

      "Some fifty miles below the Inner Station we came

      upon a hut of reeds, an inclined and melancholy pole,

      with the unrecognizable tatters of what had been a

      flag of some sort flying from it, and a neatly stacked

      woodpile. This was unexpected. We came to the bank,

      and on the stack of firewood found a flat piece of

      board with some faded pencil-writing on it. When de-

      ciphered it said: 'Wood for you. Hurry up. Approach

      cautiously.' There was a signature, but it was illegible

      -- not Kurtz -- a much longer word. 'Hurry up.'

      Where? Up the river? 'Approach cautiously.' We had

      not done so. But the warning could not have been

      meant for the place where it could be only found

      after approach. Something was wrong above. But

      what -- and how much? That was the question. We

      commented adversely upon the imbecility of that

      telegraphic style. The bush around said nothing, and

      would not let us look very far either. A torn curtain

      of red twill hung in the doorway of the hut, and

      flapped sadly in our faces. The dwelling was dis-

      mantled; but we could see a white man had lived

      there not very long ago. There remained a rude table

      -- a plank on two posts; a heap of rubbish reposed in

      a dark corner, and by the door I picked up a book. It

      had lost its covers, and the pages had been thumbed

      into a state of extremely dirty softness; but the back

      had been lovingly stitched afresh with white cotton

      thread, which looked clean yet. It was an extraordi-

      nary find. Its title was, An Inquiry into some Points

      of Seamanship, by a man Towser, Towson -- some such

      name -- Master in his Majesty's Navy. The matter

      looked dreary reading enough, with illustrative dia-

      grams and repulsive tables of figures, and the copy

      was sixty years old. I handled this amazing antiquity

      with the greatest possible tenderness, lest it should

      dissolve in my hands. Within, Towson or Towser was

      inquiring earnestly into the breaking strain of ships'

      chains and tackle, and other such matters. Not a very

      enthralling book; but at the first glance you could

      see there a singleness of intention, an honest concern

      for the right way of going to work, which made these

      humble pages, thought out so many years ago, lumi-

      nous with another than a professional light. The

      simple old sailor, with his talk of chains and purchases,

      made me forget the jungle and the pilgrims in a deli-

      cious sensation of having come upon something unmis-

      takably real. Such a book being there was wonderful

      enough but still more astounding were the notes pen-

      cilled in the margin, and plainly referring to the text.

      I couldn't believe my eyes! They were in cipher! Yes,

      it looked like cipher. Fancy a man lugging with him

      a book of that description into this nowhere and

      studying it -- and making notes -- in cipher at that! It

      was an extravagant mystery.

      "I had been dimly aware for some time of a worry-

      ing noise, and when I lifted my eyes I saw the wood-

      pile was gone, and the manager, aided by all the pil-

      grims, was shouting at me from the riverside. I

      slipped the book into my pocket. I assure you to leave

      off reading was like tearing myself away from the

      shelter of an old and solid friendship.

      "I started the lame engine ahead. 'It must be this

      miserable trader -- this intruder,' exclaimed the man-

      ager, looking back malevolently at the place we had

      left. 'He must be English,' I said. 'It will not save

      him from getting into trouble if he is not careful,'

      muttered the manager darkly. I observed with as-

      sumed innocence that no man was safe from trouble

      in this world.

      "The current was more rapid now, the steamer

      seemed at her last gasp, the stern-wheel flopped lan-

      guidly, and I caught myself listening on tiptoe for the

      next beat of the boat, for in sober truth I expected the

      wretched thing to give up every moment. It was like

      watching the last flickers of a life. But still we crawled.

      Sometimes I would pick out a tree a little way ahead

      t
    o measure our progress towards Kurtz by, but I lost

      it invariably before we got abreast. To keep the eyes

      so long on one thing was too much for human patience.

      The manager displayed a beautiful resignation. I

      fretted and fumed and took to arguing with myself

      whether or no I would talk openly with Kurtz; but

      before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to

      me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action

      of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter

      what any one knew or ignored? What did it matter

      who was manager? One gets sometimes such a flash

      of insight. The essentials of this affair lay deep under

      the surface, beyond my reach, and beyond my power

      of meddling.

      "Towards the evening of the second day we judged

      ourselves about eight miles from Kurtz's station. I

      wanted to push on; but the manager looked grave,

      and told me the navigation up there was so dangerous

      that it would be advisable, the sun being very low

      already, to wait where we were till next morning.

      Moreover, he pointed out that if the warning to ap-

      proach cautiously were to be followed, we must ap-

      proach in daylight -- not at dusk or in the dark. This

      was sensible enough. Eight miles meant nearly three

      hours' steaming for us, and I could also see suspicious

      ripples at the upper end of the reach. Nevertheless,

      I was annoyed beyond expression at the delay, and

      most unreasonably, too, since one night more could

      not matter much after so many months. As we had

      plenty of wood, and caution was the word, I brought

      up in the middle of the stream. The reach was narrow,

      straight, with high sides like a railway cutting. The

      dusk came gliding into it long before the sun had set.

      The current ran smooth and swift, but a dumb immo-

      bility sat on the banks. The living trees, lashed to-

      gether by the creepers and every living bush of the

      undergrowth, might have been changed into stone,

      even to the slenderest twig, to the lightest leaf. It

      was not sleep -- it seemed unnatural, like a state of

      trance. Not the faintest sound of any kind could be

      heard. You looked on amazed, and began to suspect

      yourself of being deaf-- then the night came sud-

      denly, and struck you blind as well. About three in the

      morning some large fish leaped, and the loud splash

      made me jump as though a gun had been fired. When

      the sun rose there was a white fog, very warm and

      clammy, and more blinding than the night. It did not

      shift or drive; it was just there, standing all round

      you like something solid. At eight or nine, perhaps, it

      lifted as a shutter lifts. We had a glimpse of the

      towering multitude of trees, of the immense matted

      jungle, with the blazing little ball of the sun hanging

      over it -- all perfectly still -- and then the white shutter

      came down again, smoothly, as if sliding in greased

      grooves. I ordered the chain, which we had begun to

      heave in, to be paid out again. Before it stopped run-

      ning with a muffled rattle, a cry, a very loud cry, as of

      infinite desolation, soared slowly in the opaque air. It

      ceased. A complaining clamour, modulated in savage

      discords, filled our ears. The sheer unexpectedness of

      it made my hair stir under my cap. I don't know how

      it struck the others: to me it seemed as though the

      mist itself had screamed, so suddenly, and apparently

      from all sides at once, did this tumultuous and mourn-

      ful uproar arise. It culminated in a hurried outbreak

      of almost intolerably escessive shrieking, which

      stopped short, leaving us stiffened in a variety of silly

      attitudes, and obstinately listening to the nearly as

      appalling and excessive silence. 'Good God! What is

      the meaning --' stammered at my elbow one of the

      pilgrims -- a little fat man, with sandy hair and red

      whiskers, who wore sidespring boots, and pink py-

      jamas tucked into his socks. Two others remained

      open-mouthed a whole minute, then dashed into the

      little cabin, to rush out incontinently and stand dart-

      ing scared glances, with Winchesters at 'ready' in

      their hands. What we could see was just the steamer

      we were on, her outlines blurred as though she had

      been on the point of dissolving, and a misty strip of

      water, perhaps two feet broad, around her -- and that

      was all. The rest of the world was nowhere, as far as

      our eyes and ears were concerned. Just nowhere.

      Gone, disappeared; swept off without leaving a

      whisper or a shadow behind.

      "I went forward, and ordered the chain to be

      hauled in short, so as to be ready to trip the anchor

     


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