“I know. I love you, too. More than you can even imagine. Now, let me feed my girl, that good with you?” I give her my biggest smile.
She looks down at the spread for the first time, and her smile grows even larger, which I didn’t think was possible. “Barrett, it’s perfect.”
Her praise humbles me, especially considering the simple nature of the food I prepared. I didn’t realize how much I needed her to approve of the plans I had for the evening until that very moment. We eat our picnic dinner while watching a movie that’s sure to stand the test of time. A classic. One that I know one day we’ll be forcing our grandchildren to watch, years down the road, of course. When she starts eating the popcorn and I remind her to add M&M’s because “chocolate coating makes it go down easier,” she laughs so loudly and hard I am afraid she will choke on the popcorn.
“Oh my gosh, Barrett. You’re too much.”
I scoff, “I’d like to think I’m just enough, fair lady.” I smile cheekily at her.
She just shakes her head and burrows deeper into my lap while we continue watching the movie.
The final credits begin to roll, but the soundtrack is changed to one I know she’ll recognize. I stand up and reach down. She smiles widely and places her hand in mine. The simple piano notes of “Can’t Help Falling in Love” begin playing just as I pull her close to me. We sway slowly, her cheek resting just below my shoulder, and mine resting on top of her head. My hand is gripping hers, resting against my chest.
The song changes and moves into something more upbeat, faster paced. We separate just slightly and begin dancing, smiling and singing along. I dip her, the tip of her hair nearly touching the bed of the pickup.
“Barrett!” she squeals.
I lift her back up, chuckling. “What? You don’t trust me? I’m offended, Tess. Really.” I begin to fake pout.
“Ha! Nice try. That face doesn’t work on me anymore. Besides, you know I trust you.”
“Yeah? Prove it.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“Oh, I have some ideas,” I say, raising my eyebrows up and down.
“Not gonna happen, cowboy.”
“Cowboy?”
“Sure.”
“I can live with that. Why isn’t it gonna happen though? It could. No one is out here.” I look around at the empty lot.
“It’s freezing! And yeah, you say no one is out here…”
“Fine. I’ll give you the freezing thing, but no one is out here.”
She pulls me back to her and snuggles in close. “I do like having you to myself,” she murmurs into my chest, and, dammit it all, I start to feel emotional.
“I love having you all to myself.”
“Mmm…” she says as the song shifts once again to a slow song, and we continue to sway under the stars.
After we’ve danced for several songs, I realize we need to keep moving. We still have one more stop to make. The most important stop. So, we pack up everything and climb back into the cab of the pickup. This time I don’t need to tell her to sit next to me; she slides next to me on her own, sitting close enough that our thighs are pressed against one another’s and she’s nestled tightly into the nook under my arm.
“Good girl,” I murmur and smile down at her then kiss the top of her head. She snuggles a little deeper in next to me and wraps her arm around my stomach.
“I’m a fast learner,” she says with a smile in her voice.
The next stop is the big one. I drive over to the side of town that houses a park where we have spent so much of our time. It’s a walking park, and, in the fall, it’s beautiful, all woods and leaves changing colors. In the winter time, it’s not quite the same but still gorgeous. The city comes in and clears walking paths from the snow, and a huge sledding hill sits in one section of the park that kids have named The Monster. But no matter what time of year it is, the park is special to us. My nerves start to come back as she realizes where we’re going but still doesn’t question me. She trusts me.
I park and we both climb out silently. I take her gloved hand and curse the cold temperatures. I want to feel her palm in my palm, her fingers laced with mine with no barrier. Nothing between us. I reach into my front jeans pocket with my left hand and feel for the object that will either make or break the rest of our lives. Feeling the small circular object, I make a fist around it, hoping that what it symbolizes will create the calm in me that it needs to.
There were flurries falling from the sky this morning, and the smell of snow is in the air. But for tonight, the ground is still mainly clear. We approach our bench, our feet making the last of the autumn leaves crunch beneath us. We sat on this bench at the end of our first date, and it’s also the place where my lips first touched hers. She instinctively takes a seat, knowing that’s where we were headed, and I follow suit. She’s in my head more than I like to admit, just like I’m in hers. I can see the wheels turning behind those gorgeous bright blue eyes of hers. She can’t hide from me. Never could. Never will be able to. And right now, she’s probably thinking, “Why in the world am I sitting out here in the freezing cold? My butt is like an ice cube.”
I chuckle to myself as I look down at her.
“What are you laughing at?” she asks, smiling.
“You. You’re not letting yourself just be. I know you’re cold, and you’re wondering what we’re doing here, but just bear with me for a few moments.”
“How did you know I was wondering that?”
My response is a raise of my eyebrows at her. Her cheeks are flushed in irritation with me — or maybe it’s just the cold — which I find cuter than anything, and she looks away before mumbling that I was right.
I lean over and kiss her lightly on the lips; she tastes of peppermint, as I knew she would. I saw her bite into a couple of her favorite comfort taffies. “You always taste so damn good.” I moan as I deepen our kiss.
“It’s the taffies. I’ve been telling you for years they’re delicious.”
“Nope. It’s all you. It’s all you, my beautiful Tess.”
She takes a shuttering breath then launches herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and taking over our kiss. She pulls me down toward her, causing me to rest one of my hands on the bench next to her while my other wraps around her back. Our tongues tangle, our breaths becoming one.
After several moments, I reluctantly pull away. Whether she knows it or not, tonight is about more than a hot make-out session. I rest my forehead against hers for a moment. “You turn me out every time, Tess. Every single time.”
She smiles at me and giggles a little bit. “Yeah, I know the feeling.”
I take a deep breath and stand from the bench, shaking my hands out slightly. These nerves are ridiculous.
She looks up at me questioningly. “Barrett?”
“Tess…” I begin as I drop to one knee.
Tears immediately flood her eyes, and she gasps, her right hand covering her mouth. Her left hand is in mine, shaking, trembling.
I stare into her bright blue eyes and begin the speech that I’ve recited in my head over and over again. The speech that I partially spoke to her father when I told him my plan, asked his permission. I will only do this once in my life and I must do it right, building our lives together From the Ground Up.
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