"I don't know what I'm doing here." Austin finally breaks the ice. He runs his hand through his shiny blond hair, the way he always does when he's thinking about something. "I just knew I had to come."
"I'm so sorry," I begin again.
"Let me say this before I change my mind," Austin interrupts firmly. He takes a deep breath. "After you left, I watched your Jaime Robins interview. Hayley TiVo'd it. You were really good."
"Thanks," I say shyly. "That apology I made was for you, you know."
"I was wondering about that." He looks into my eyes intently, then looks away. "I heard what you said about Clark Hall being your chance to experience a normal life. I thought about what you said on my doorstep too, about how all that time I spent with Rachel, I was really spending with you. And I realized I had to ask you one important question."
"Anything," I promise. I feel my cheeks burning, and take a swig of hot chocolate.
"I wanted to know," he says slowly, "if you actually liked me, or if it was part of your act."
I look into Austin's eyes. "I really like you," I answer honestly. Suddenly I feel dizzy. I swish the remaining chocolate in my mug. "You're different from the guys I know. The ones I'm around just want to talk about their dream of winning an Oscar."
Austin chuckles.
"At your house, you said that you didn't understand how a movie star could fall for a regular guy. But being a movie star is just my job. The real me, the girl you met, wants to have a life like everybody else."
He shakes his head, wide-eyed. "I'm still having a hard time getting past the fact that you're Kaitlin Burke," he admits.
"I'm the same girl you knew before," I say softly. "I just look different."
"That's for sure." He grins crookedly.
"Why don't we start over?" I slip off my stool and extend my hand. "Hi, I'm Kaitlin."
He stares at my hand for a moment, then slowly extends his to meet mine and shakes it. "Je m'appelle Austin," he responds.
I groan. "Please, don't start that."
"Okay," he laughs, "but this is weird."
"It's not," I promise. "Ask Liz. I'm really just like everybody else."
"No, that's not what I meant," he says, sliding off his stool and stepping closer to me. I swear I can feel the heat of his body. "What's weird is what I'm about to do."
"What's that?"
"I'm going to kiss Kaitlin Burke," he whispers. Then he cups my head in his hands and pulls me towards him.
The kiss is better than any kiss Sam ever got from Ryan on FA, and I know why. Because this kiss is real. And at this moment, when Austin's soft lips are pressed against mine, I discover a new secret. HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER NINETEEN is short, but the most important one I've learned so far.
It's simply this: To be a happy and successful actor, you've got to have two lives -- one in front of the camera, and one behind it. And I finally have both.
Acknowledgments:
Many thanks to my eyes and ears, Cindy Eagan, Phoebe Spanier and Laura Dail, who worship Kaitlin as much as I do. I'd also like to thank Angela Burt-Murray for giving me a gentle push in the right direction, Gloria Wong, my "first" editor, and my mother, Lynn Calonita, and mother-in-law, Gail Smith, who keep Ty happily busy so I can write. Finally, I'd like to thank my grandfather, Nicholas Calonita, who has always wanted to see the family name in lights.
Foreword: Scene One , Take One
One: On the 101
Two: Schmoozing at Fred Segal
Three: A Slice of Heaven
Four: Sleepless w Hollywood
Five: Off-Key Premiere
Six: The After-Party
Seven: Makeover Central
Eight: Clark Hall
Nine: School Daze
Ten: Lori's Turf
Eleven: The Sky's the Limit
Twelve: A Study Date
Thirteen: The Beauty Buffet
Fourteen: Denim Blues
Fifteen: Hallway Meltdown
Sixteen: Night of a Thousand Stars
Seventeen: Facing the Press
Eighteen: No Place Like Home
Acknowledgments: