SHAKER
The teenagers we pranked weren’t too happy,
though, and they came after us. Me and Rowley
ran as fast as we could, and we didn’t stop until
we were pretty sure we shook those guys.
But I still didn’t feel safe. I asked Rowley to
show me some of the moves he learned in karate so
we could handle those guys if they found us.
188
But Rowley said he’s a gold belt in karate and he
wasn't going to teach his moves to a “no belt.”
I SURVIVED
THE
CRANIUM
We hid there a while more, but the teenagers
never showed up, and eventually we decided the
coast was clear.That’s when we realized we were
underneath Kiddie Land, so there was a whole new
batch of victims for our dollar bill trick right above
our heads. And we got a muCH better reaction
out of those kids than we did from the teenagers.
ZIP
I SURVIVED
THE
CRANIUM
SHAKER
189
But one of the kids was really fast, and he
grabbed the dollar before I could pull it
down. So me and Rowley had to go up on the
boardwalk to get it back.
T-SHIRTS
I SURVIVED
THE
CRANIUM
SHAKER
This kid wasn’t budging, though. I tried to
explain the concept of personal property to him,
but he stIll wouldn’t give us our money.
I was getting pretty frustrated with this kid,
and that’s when Rowley’s parents showed up. I
was pretty glad to see them because I figured if
ANYoNe could talk some sense into this kid, it
was Mr. Jefferson.
190
But Mr. Jefferson was mad, and I mean
ReAllY mad. He said he and Mrs. Jefferson
had been looking all over for us for the past
hour and they were ready to call the police to
report us missing.
T-SHIRTS
i survived
the
cranium
shaker
Then he told us we had to get in the car. But
on the way to the parking lot, we walked past
the arcade. I asked Mr. Jefferson if we could
please have another dollar since we never did get
to spend that one he gave us.
But I guess that wasn’t the right thing to
ask, because he took us back to the car without
saying a word.
191
When we got back to the cabin, Mr. Jefferson
said me and Rowley had to go straight to our
room. That really stunk, because it wasn’t even
8:00 and it was still light outside.
But Mr. Jefferson said we had to go to bed and
that he didn’t want to hear a peep out of us
until morning. Rowley was taking it really hard.
From the way he was acting, I don’t think he’s
ever been in trouble with his dad before.
I decided to lighten the mood a little bit. I
walked around on the shag carpet and then gave
Rowley a static electricity shock as a joke.
192
zip
That seemed to get Rowley to snap out of it.
He walked around in a circle for about five minutes
rubbing his feet on the carpet, and then got me
back while I was brushing my teeth.
zap
I couldn’t let Rowley one-up me like that, so
when he got into bed I got his boppy balloon,
pulled back the giant rubber band, and let it rip.
193
If I had to do it again, maybe I wouldn’t have
pulled back so hard.
thwap
When Rowley saw the red mark on his arm he
screamed, and I knew that was gonna attract
attention. Sure enough, his parents were up in our
room in five seconds.
he…he
burned me!
I tried to explain that the mark on Rowley’s
seem to matter to the Jeffersons.
194
They called my parents, and two hours later Dad
was at the cabin to pick me up and take me home.
Monday
Dad’s really mad that he had to drive four hours
round-trip to come get me. But Mom wasn’t mad
at all. She said the incident between me and
Rowley was just “horseplay” and she was glad
we were “pals” again.
But Dad is still mad, and it’s been really chilly
between us ever since we got back. Mom’s been
trying to get the two of us to do something like
go to the movies together so we can “make
peace,” but I think right now it's best for me
and Dad to just stay out of each other's way.
195
I think Dad’s bad mood is here to stay, though,
and part of it has nothing to do with me. When
I opened up today’s paper, here’s what I saw in
the Arts section —
Arts
Beloved comic to continue
“Li’l Cuite” to be carried on
by orignal cartoonist’s son
In a stunning development, Tyler post,
the son of “Li’l Cutie” cartoonist Bob
Post, will take up the pen and carry on
his father’s enduring one-panel comic.
“I didn’t really have a job or any big
plans so one day I said, ’How hard can
it be?’” said Tyler, who, at 32, is living
with his father. It is widely believed that
See CUTIE, page A2
Related: Leisure Towers
residents rejoice, page A3
Tyler Post will pen new “Li’l Cutie” comics, the first of
which will appear in the paper a week from Sunday.
the Li’l cutie character is based
Last night Dad came into my room and talked to
me, which was the first time we spoke to each
other in about three days. He said he wanted to
make sure I was around on Sunday, and I said
I would be.
Later on I heard him talking to someone on the
phone, and he seemed to be acting kind of secretive.
196
yes … and i’ll leave him
with enough food and
water for a week.
After that I asked Dad if he was taking me
anywhere in particular on Sunday, and that
seemed to make him really uncomfortable. He said
no, but he wouldn’t look me in the eye.
Now I knew Dad wasn’t telling the truth, so I
started to get kind of worried. Dad was willing to
ship me off to a military academy before, and I
wouldn’t put anything past him.
I didn’t know what to do, so I told Rodrick
what was going on and asked him if he had any
theories about what Dad was up to. He told me
he’d think about it, and a little while later he
came up to my room and shut the door.
197
Rodrick told me he thought Dad was so mad about
the Rowley thing that he was gonna get rid of me.
I wasn’t sure if I believed him, because Rodrick’s
not always 100% reliable. But Rodrick told me if
I didn�
��t believe him I should go check out Dad’s
day planner and see for myself. So I went into
Dad's office and opened his calendar to Sunday,
and here's what I found —
sunday
august 22
Sell
Greg
198
I’m pretty sure Rodrick was pulling my leg,
because it looked an awful lot like his handwriting.
But Dad’s kind of an unpredictable guy, so I
guess I’ll just have to wait until Sunday to know
for sure.
Sunday
The good news is Dad didn’t sell me or give me
away to an orphanage today. The bad news is,
after what happened, he probably will.
At about 10:00 this morning, Dad said to get in
the car because he wanted to take me into the city.
When I asked what for, he said it was a “surprise.”
shudder
On the way into the city we stopped for gas. Dad
had left a map and directions on the dashboard of
the car, so now I knew where we were going: 1200
Bayside Street.
199
time ever I used my Ladybug.
I finished my call right before Dad came back to
the car, and we headed into the city. I just
wish I took a better look at that map, because
when we pulled up to Bayside Street, I realized
it was the parking lot for the baseball stadium.
But by then it was too late.
It turns out Mom had bought us tickets to the
baseball game for some special father-son bonding
and Dad was trying to keep it a surprise.
Beep
200
But it took Dad a long time to explain all of
that to the cops. After he cleared things up
with the police, Dad wasn’t in the mood for a
baseball game, so he just took me home.
I felt kind of bad because the seats Mom got us
were in the third row, and it looked to me like
they cost a fortune.
201
Tuesday
I finally found out what that phone call was all
about the other day. Dad had been on the phone
with Gramma, and they were talking about Sweetie,
not me.
Mom and Dad had decided to give the dog to
Gramma, and Dad dropped Sweetie off on
Sunday night. To be honest with you, I don’t
think anyone’s really gonna miss him around here.
Me and Dad haven’t talked to each other since
then, and I’ve been looking for excuses to stay
out of the house. I found a really good one
yesterday. There was a commercial on tv for
this store called the Game Hut, which is where
I buy all my video games.
202
They’re having a competition where you play at
your local store, and if you win you get to
advance to the national playoffs. And the winner
of that gets a million bucks.
The competition at my local store is on Saturday.
I’m sure there are gonna be a ton of people at
that thing, so I’m gonna go super early to make
sure I get a good place in line.
I learned that trick from Rodrick. Whenever he
wants to get tickets to a concert, he camps out
the night before. In fact, that’s where he met
his band’s lead singer, Bill.
CAN I BUM
A POTATO
CHIP?
NO
LOITERING
203
Rowley and his dad go camping all the time, so
I knew he had a tent. I called Rowley and told
him about the video game contest and how we
could win a million bucks.
But Rowley was acting nervous on the phone. I
think he was still worried that I had electrical
superpowers or something, and the only way to
get him to calm down was to promise I wouldn’t
use them on him.
Even after we were past that, Rowley didn’t
seem comfortable with the campout idea. He said
his mom and dad banned him from seeing me for
the rest of the summer.
I pretty much figured that, but I had a plan
to get around it. I told Rowley that I’d tell
my parents I was going up to his house to spend
the night, and he could tell his parents he was
going to Collin’s.
204
Rowley stIll didn’t seem sure, so I told him
I’d bring him his very own box of gummy bears if
he came along, and that sold him.
Saturday
Last night we met at the top of the hill at 9:00.
Rowley brought the camping equipment and the
sleeping bag, and I brought the flashlight and
some chocolate energy bars.
I didn’t have the gummy bears right at that
moment, but I promised Rowley I’d buy him some
the first chance I got.
When we got to the Game Hut we were the only
people there, and I couldn’t believe our luck.
205
So we pitched our tent in front of the store
before anyone else could take our spot.
twisted
wizard
used
games
whack
Then we watched the door to make sure no one
tried to cut in front of us.
I figured the best way to save our place in line
was to sleep in shifts. I even offered to take
the first shift and let Rowley sleep, because
that’s just the kind of person I am.
206
After my shift was over I woke Rowley up for
his turn, but he fell back asleep in about five
seconds. So I shook him awake and told him he
needed to stay alert.
Rowley didn’t even bother trying to defend himself.
i don’t even
really like
video games!
I decided it was up to me to make sure nobody
got in front of us, so I stayed up all night. I
was starting to have trouble keeping my eyes open
around 9:00 in the morning, and I ate both of
the energy bars I packed to keep myself going.
I got chocolate all over my hands, and that gave
me an idea. I opened the tent flap, then slipped
my hand inside and made it crawl like a spider.
207
I thought it would be funny to make Rowley
think it was the muddy hand. I didn’t hear any
noises coming from inside the tent, so I thought
Rowley was still sleeping. But before I had a
chance to open the flap and check, my hand got
crushed to smithereens.
wham
wham
wham
wham
I pulled my hand out of the tent, and my thumb
was already starting to turn purple.
I was really ticked off at Rowley. Not because
he smashed my hand with a mallet, but because
he thought that it could stop the muddy hand.
208
Any fool knows you have to either use fire or acid
to stop a muddy hand. All a mallet’s gonna do is
make it angry.
I was about to give Rowley a piece of my mind,
but right then the guy from the G
ame Hut came
and opened the front door. I tried to ignore
the throbbing pain in my thumb and focus on the
reason we came here.
used
games
The Game Hut guy wanted to know why we
had a tent in front of the store, so I told
him we were there to compete in the video
game contest. But he didn’t even know what
I was talking about.
209
So I had to show him the poster from the window
to get him up to speed.
The clerk said the store wasn’t really set up for
a video game tournament but since there were
only two of us, maybe we could just play each
other in the back room.
I was a little irritated at first, but then I realized
all I needed to do to win this tournament was to
beat Rowley. So the clerk set us up to play a
death match in Twisted Wizard. I almost felt
sorry for Rowley, because I’m pretty much an
expert at that game. But when we started to
play, I realized my thumb was so messed up I
couldn’t press the buttons on the controller.
210
All I could do was run around in circles while
Rowley shot me over and over.
yippeee!
zap!
Rowley ended up beating me 15-0. The clerk
told Rowley he won the competition and had a
choice: He could either fill out the paperwork to
go to the national tournament, or he could get a
giant box of chocolate-covered raisins.
I’ll bet you can guess which one Rowley picked.
211
Sunday
You know, I should have just stuck with my
original plan and stayed inside this summer,
because all my trouble started the minute I
stepped out of the house.
I haven’t seen Rowley since he stole that video
game competition from me, and Dad hasn’t spoken
to me since I almost got him arrested.
But I think things started to turn around for
me and Dad today. You remember that article
about how “Li’l Cutie” was being passed on from
the father to his son?
Well, the son’s first comic came out in the paper