Carly points out Maria, a girl on the yearbook committee who’s snapping pictures of students and teachers posing with the horses. “Maria is following the horses around all day. They might even get their own page in the yearbook.”
Since most people use their phones to take pictures, it’s odd to see Maria documenting the occasion with a clunky camera. I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable using one, but Maria is pretty smart, so I figure she knows how to operate such a complicated gizmo.
As Maria snaps pictures of kids interacting with the horses, I realize Carly was right—these therapy horses really do light people up from the inside. After all the bedlam our school’s been through, the calming presence of the horses offers everyone some much-needed relief.
The last person I want to see amid all this calm is Jade, but sure enough, she’s posing with Maggie and the ninja horses too. When she spots me on the outskirts of the group, she waves as if nothing ever happened and walks over.
“Adorable, right?” she says. “I totally missed them last time.”
“Oh, because you were absent that day from being up all night ransacking our lockers?”
Jade looks at me and smiles. “Don’t take it personally.”
“It DOES seem like working with your dad is a pretty fun job.”
“Especially when you get to prank a friend in the process.”
“We are SO not friends,” I answer.
Jade fake-frowns. “Then why do I know so much about you?”
“Uhm … because you hacked my phone?”
“Oh, THAT’S why.” She flashes me a goofy grin and for a moment I see a universe where Jade and I CAN be friends.
“I have to admit, I DID feel kind of empowered writing that code with Umberto to turn the security camera back on.”
“There’s hope for you yet, Derek Fallon.” Jade slips her phone into her pocket. “See you in coding class.”
“I don’t get the wearing-all-black thing,” Matt says as he watches her go. “But you have to admit, she IS kind of cool.”
“Not as cool as Sophie Hinton,” I respond.
“You got that right.” Matt smiles. “We’re going to the movies on Saturday.” Matt suddenly pulls me down the hall where Maria is photographing the miniature horses in front of the school’s trophy cabinet. “Do they give out trophies for best pooper?” Matt laughs.
No one can spot a poop-joke faster than Matt; it is actually one of his superpowers. Sure enough, Raphael lets out several road apples onto the tiled floor. Everyone laughs except for Nancy and Pete, who remain calm.
“As the picture book says—‘everybody poops.’ Even creatures as adorable as these.” Pete takes out a large waste bag from the back pocket of his jeans. But instead of picking up the waste, he sets his gaze on me.
“Hey, Derek,” he calls. “You still afraid of mucking?”
That’s all Matt has to hear. “NOW look who’s scared,” he teases.
“I’m not afraid—I just don’t want to!”
“Sure.” Then my best friend leads a chant and everyone in the hall immediately joins in. Dozens of my classmates are now clucking like chickens, taunting me to pick up after Raphael.
“Really, Matt?” I say. “Very mature.”
“Don’t you mean ‘manure’?” he teases.
The chanting shows no signs of letting up, so I grab the plastic bag from Pete and remove the offending clumps just as Maria snaps a photo. She immediately laughs, passing the camera for everyone to check out the picture.
“I think we just found the cover for the yearbook,” Maria says.
“His face is so scrunched up you can barely tell it’s Derek,” Matt says. “I think you should enlarge it to poster size.”
I hand over the bag of humiliation to Pete, who takes it outside to the dumpster. “I thought that miniature horses were supposed to take away stress, not add more,” I complain to Carly. “Bringing them here was a TERRIBLE idea.”
Carly asks Maria if she can borrow her camera, then scrolls through its memory, giving me a slideshow of my classmates’ happy faces.
“This has been a rough month,” Carly confesses. “Ms. Costa helped me realize how much pressure I put on myself. I’m trying to embrace my mistakes instead of thinking it’s the end of the world when I make one.”
“I could have told you mistakes aren’t the end of the world,” I say. “I make so many every day, I have no choice but to accept them.”
“When you and Umberto were talking about coding a few weeks ago, you said something that really helped.”
“I did?!”
Carly laughs. “Now that I think about it, it was probably Umberto.”
“Very funny.”
“You said there were lots of different ways to program something—not just one way to reach your goal.”
“I think that WAS me,” I say.
Carly gives me a fake shove. “I always thought there was one way to do things—but there are lots of ways to move forward. Learning that and talking to Ms. Costas helped me turn things around.”
Am I hearing things or did I actually help Carly process a new piece of information? Maybe the deeper human goals Ms. Felix was talking about are possible after all.
Matt runs over and grabs the camera, pointing to the last picture of me in the slideshow. “You look like an idiot. I hope no one makes a meme out of it.”
“Excellent idea.” Umberto wheels over. “Maria, make sure to forward me that picture, okay?”
I am the butt of the joke again—literally—which means things are pretty much back to normal, even after all the trouble with Jade.
Except for one crucial difference:
public class Success{
public static void main(String[] args){
}
}
I KNOW HOW TO CODE!
Acknowledgments
A big thank-you to Kiera Paltz from The Coding School in Studio City, California, for sharing her expertise, as well as letting me meet with some of her fabulous students—Zoe Winston, Alan Shaaban, Calvin Colker, and Sebastian Tyner. The Coding School teaches students all around the country to code via Skype and workshop classes with their wonderful teachers, of which Greg Garnhart was especially helpful. It was a joy to talk to such dedicated teachers and students about one of the most critical subjects being taught in schools today. I learned so much!
Have you read all the books in the
My Life series?
Turn the page to find out!
My Life as a Book
Derek Fallon has trouble sitting
still and reading. But creating cartoons
of his vocabulary words comes easy.
If only life were as simple!
My Life as a Stuntboy
Derek gets the opportunity of a lifetime—
to be a stuntboy in a major movie—
but he soon learns that it’s not as
glamorous as he thought it would be.
My Life as a Cartoonist
There’s a new kid at school who
loves drawing cartoons as much
as Derek does. What could be better?
My Life as a Joke
Now in middle school, Derek just wants to
feel grown-up—but his own life gets in the
way, and he feels more like a baby than ever.
My Life as a Gamer
Derek thinks he’s found his calling when he’s hired to
test software for a new video game. But this dream
job isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!
My Life as a Ninja
Derek and his friends are eager to learn more
about ninja culture. When someone starts
vandalizing their school, these ninjas-in-training
set out to crack the case!
My Life as a Youtuber
Derek becomes a popular Youtuber just as his foster capuchin, Frank, mus
t go off to monkey college, so Derek furiously scrambles to find a reason for Frank to stay. What if Frank became a part of his Youtube videos?
My Life as a Meme
Adventures in dog-sitting for the Instagram-famous Poufy propel Derek to more Internet spotlight. He is finally a viral meme, but it’s not long before his fame spins out of control!
Other Books by Janet Tashjian Illustrated by Jake Tashjian
The My Life Series:
My Life as a Book
My Life as a Stuntboy
My Life as a Cartoonist
My Life as a Joke
My Life as a Gamer
My Life as a Ninja
My Life as a Youtuber
My Life as a Meme
The Einstein the Class Hamster Series:
Einstein the Class Hamster
Einstein the Class Hamster and the Very Real Game Show
Einstein the Class Hamster Saves the Library
By Janet Tashjian
The Marty Frye, Private Eye Series:
Marty Frye, Private Eye: The Case of the Missing Action Figure
Marty Frye, Private Eye: The Case of the Stolen Poodle
Marty Frye, Private Eye: The Case of the Busted Video Games
The Sticker Girl Series:
Sticker Girl
Sticker Girl Rules the School
Sticker Girl and the Cupcake Challenge
The Larry Series:
The Gospel According to Larry
Vote for Larry
Larry and the Meaning of Life
Fault Line
For What It’s Worth
Multiple Choice
Tru Confessions
About the Author
Janet Tashjian is the author of many bestselling and award-winning books, including the My Life series, the Einstein the Class Hamster series, the Marty Frye, Private Eye series, and the Sticker Girl series. Other books include The Gospel According to Larry, Vote for Larry, and Larry and the Meaning of Life as well as Fault Line, For What It’s Worth, Multiple Choice, and Tru Confessions. She lives in Los Angeles, California.
Visit her online at janettashjian.com and mylifeasabook.com, or sign up for email updates here.
About the Illustrator
Jake Tashjian is the illustrator of the My Life series and the Einstein the Class Hamster series. He has been drawing pictures of his vocabulary words on index cards since he was a kid and now has a stack taller than a house. When he’s not drawing, he loves to surf, read comic books, and watch movies.
Visit him online at jaketashjian.com, or sign up for email updates here.
Thank you for buying this
Henry Holt and Company ebook.
To receive special offers, bonus content,
and info on new releases and other great reads,
sign up for our newsletters.
Or visit us online at
us.macmillan.com/newslettersignup
For email updates on Janet Tashjian, click here.
For email updates on Jake Tashjian, click here.
Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Thank You??
At Least Umberto’s Happy
Fingers Crossed
Wait, What?
Time to Get to Work
A Hint of Trouble
Who Dis?
What Is That?
I’ve Created a Monster
Dad to the Rescue
Ms. Felix Serves Up Some Coding
Less Fun by the Minute
Jade Goes Viral
A Difficult Choice
The Buddy System
The Ranch
Supergirl
Clash of the Titans
Mount Kilimanjaro
The Aftermath
Saturday Blues
Another Mix-Up
The Harsh Truth
What Do I Do Now?
Over our Heads
Showtime
D-Day
You’re Kidding, Right?
A Picture Worth a Thousand Words
Acknowledgments
Other Books by Janet Tashjian
About the Author and Illustrator
Copyright
Text copyright © 2020 by Janet Tashjian
Illustrations copyright © 2020 by Jake Tashjian
Henry Holt and Company, LLC
Publishers since 1866
Henry Holt® is a registered trademark of Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC
120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271
mackids.com
All rights reserved.
Library of Congress Control Number: 2019941041
Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945 ext. 5442 or by email at MacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.com.
First hardcover edition, 2020
eBook edition, April 2020
eISBN 9781250261809